Here is chapter 11!
I DO NOT OWN FALLEN!
Enjoy!
Eleven: Damned
A tall figure stood before me in the door way. I was met with a smile that eased any ounce of pain embedded within my soul and eyes that could guide me through any raging storm. He enfolded me in warm and secure arms enriching me with love. All the emotions flooding into my being could only be found in a place that was home.
"I missed you Lucian," he said.
Jack was just about to pull away but immediately my arms constricted around his waist with the only barrier between my skin and his being a faded green shirt. He ran his hands through my hair and kissed the top of my head.
"Jack," I said burring my face in his shirt trying to suppress any tears that threatened to fall.
My hands were tightly clenched on the fabric of his shirt and my body was shaking.
"Lucian hey, what's wrong? Hey," he gently pried me from him to look me in the eyes. It took a few seconds to look him straight in the eyes, those deep emerald gems more focused and alert. "Were you crying?" he asked, his eyes lessening in stress.
"Yeah, but it wasn't anything serious, don't worry about it."
"Luke, your eyes are practically bloodshot and swollen. It's too late but I'm already worried. What happened?"
I inhaled a slow deep breath. "I just came back from Daniel's place," I said biting back the guilt.
"Daniel from the Juice Bar?"
"Yeah." I shuddered not wanting to picture his face.
His eyes widened in fear and tightened his grip on my shoulders. "Did he... do anything to you?"
"No! No, nothing like that. He'd never hurt anyone."
He sighed. "Okay okay, sorry, you just had me a little scared there." He rest his head on my shoulder. "But, can you tell me what happened?"
"Well we bumped into each other shortly after I left John's and just wanted to get to know him a bit more. He invited me to his house and showed some of these art pieces he made, there was so many of them and he's really an amazing artist. Then he left to take a quick shower and I found an old journal I though was a sketch book but was actually a diary. Before I could even put it down I read too much of it. Jack, his past is so sad." I couldn't bring up the fact that it was written seventeen years ago. "And I think it's why he's so distant from people."
"Yeah," he muttered. "I could see that. When we first met him I just felt the urge to give the guy a hug or something. Is that why you were crying?"
"Yeah, but, he caught me reading his journal and yelled at me to get out."
"Oh Luke," he ran his hand through my hair. "I'm glad that you can understand him now but, now he might not trust you as easily as before now that you know some of his secrets."
"I know, I shouldn't have gone through his personal things and I'm ashamed of that but either way I don't want him to feel like he's alone."
"I understand Luke, and I can understand him as well. There's still things about me that I haven't told you yet."
I gripped the back of his shirt at the thought of what other pains I've not yet healed within him. I thought that the love we shared now would be the end of any past pain we felt, but the scars they left behind will always remind us how much they bled us out.
"But you're still happy though, right?" I asked timidly.
"More than I've ever been," he said wrapping his arms around me.
We kept the silence between us for a while longer.
"I should go over and check on him," I said pulling away and motioning for the door.
"No," Jack placed a hand protectively on my shoulder. "Trust me Luke, he'll need some time alone before it's safe to talk to him again."
"But I'm worried about him Jack. What he, what if he hurts himself..."
"If he opened up to you as much as I did when we first met, you shouldn't worry. I'm sure of everything you told me that he knows you care about him and wouldn't do anything to make you worry."
I sighed deeply. "Alright, I'll give him some time alone. But if I don't hear anything from him in the next week I'm marching straight to his door and breaking it down."
"Remind me not to get on your worried side," Jack said leaning in to kiss my forehead.
Tension between Daniel and I began to diminish as the next few days had passed, though he made it a determination to keep his distance from me. He had first period English with me and John and I sat directly behind him but kept Jack's advice in mind and didn't try to pry anything out of him.
It was Friday that I decided to stay after school alone to use the school music room where the only baby grand piano made of oak wood they had lay in the center of the room leveled on a small stage two steps high.
"Is there something you need to do here for a class," Jack had asked me.
"No," I said. "I just haven't had the chance to play the piano for a while and have a song that I've been thinking about writing."
"Oh, could I stay and watch you play?" he asked.
"Well, I was kind of hoping to be alone for a bit."
"Oh okay," he murmured.
"Don't worry though," I reassured. "I'm not upset about anything just really need some form of personal expression now."
"Okay," he ginned and drew me into his arms. "Be sure to give me a call or text once you get home though."
"I will," I said and stood higher to kiss him on the lips.
"I'd like to see you play the song once you've finished it," he said.
"You'll be the first to hear it," I smiled looking into the forest green of his eyes.
"Love you," he said.
"Love you too." And he walked away silently with his gym bag slung over his shoulder.
Our music teacher Ms. Yun told us freshman year that the piano was made in the early nineteenth century and that the keys were made entirely of ivory. The soundboard and strings were replaced because of how old and worn the previous ones were and the wood was re-polished.
When I raised the Fall the black and white keys were a sight behold. I had not done this in so long that it felt like the first time I had done since I was nine years old at my first lesson.
I placed a finger over a white key and played a D natural. D minor was my favorite key to play in and it was the one I worked with most when writing songs or just improvising.
My hands accompanied one another in a delicate dance all of which were accompanied by the music brought with each step they took.
I had the lyrics for the song written down weeks ago and the melody of the music was still fresh in my mind and after a few minutes I found the perfect key for it.
The song to me was about losing love but remembering the all of the good that came from it and appreciating the moments that made me feel whole, but there was still a longing for wanting it back.
My fingers began to dance as one in unison for the first few chords and latter form different patterns that altered the next few notes.
If you would just slow down you would see
We were meant for something
Lay your armor down and stay with me
Aren't you tired of running?
Can we go back before the storm came raging?
And everything we built was gone
My left hand remained where it was while my right ventured to the higher notes while still in the same notes with it's partner.
So sing to me til I fall asleep
Like the way you did when you were still mine
And tell me that it's not over yet
We were never good at saying goodbyes
Why can't you see what's right in front of your eyes?
The two reunited and played the same tune from the beginning into the next verse.
Remember our first kiss that starry night?
It felt like we were flying
So how do we forget
That love is on our side?
Oh we never saw this coming
Can we go back before the morning took you?
And every dream of you was gone
They separated again and would be the last time once I sang the bridge.
And so sing to me til I fall asleep
Like the way you did when you were still mine
And tell me that it's not over yet
We were never good at saying goodbyes
Why can't you see what's right in front of your eyes?
I sang one last note and held it at a riff before the brief rest which would then bring back the chorus and conclude the story.
Can we go back before the storm came raging?
And everything we built was gone
So sing to me til I fall asleep
Like the way you did when you were still mine
So sing to me til I fall asleep
Like the way you did when you were still mine
And tell me that it's not over yet
We were never good at saying goodbyes
Oh we were never good at saying goodbyes
Why can't you see what's right in front of your eyes?
The strings had only a few minor seconds to echo the last chord before I released my foot on the pedal. I missed the feeling of being much lighter after I played a song. It was like the part of me that I wanted to let go of was now one with the instrument.
I let my hands gently brush the ivory keys and thought of all the stories it could tell, of all the other people whose emotions, thoughts, and feelings had been poured into it.
The sound of metal hitting the floor nearly made me stagger up from the stool. A chair had fallen over and someone had rushed out of the door. As quick as they left I caught the quick glimpse of blonde hair and a red scarf and was out the music room in an instant.
"Daniel!" I called out. "Wait! Please!"
I rounded the next corner into the main corridor where Daniel stood beside the left column of lockers. I stopped in my tracks and was surprised at how much breath I lost from running.
I was just about to step closer to him when he spoke up. "How much do you know?" he accused.
"What?"
"The Journal, how much did you read from it?" he began shouting.
"Daniel... I'm sorry for what I did, I shouldn't have been looking through your personal things and I'm really sorry-"
His fist collided with a locker door. "You don't know how much danger you're in now!"
"Daniel?"
He let out a long sigh. "There's things you don't understand Luke. Important things."
"Daniel, I don't understand what you're trying to say..."
His fist fell from the locker door where there was noticeable dent in the metal and turned to face me. "Do you care about me Luke?"
"What do mean Daniel, of course I do you're my friend."
He began taking slow steps towards me. "Then you should stay away from me."
"I'm... I'm not going to leave you all alone Daniel. I might not have been through the things that you have but I know what it's like to feel like you're alone-"
"Just..." His frustration made me uneasy so I remained quiet as to not push him any further. "Please just tell me what you read from the journal," he said in a more calm voice.
"The entry with that date, March 21, 1992, I read all of just that one."
He exhaled. "Damn it."
"Daniel?" His eyes rested on mine. "Was that you're writing?"
The face he wore made it look as if he was on trial for murder. "Yes, yes it was."
My heart began convulsing in my rib cage. "Who are you... what are you?"
His face lifted into a slight grin. "I'm damned Luke. Damned to spend an eternity in pain, misery, loss, and heartbreak."
"Why?" I asked not at all disbelieving the things he was telling me.
"Because, a long long time ago I chose to give my whole heart, my love to the wrong person."
"Why would you be damned because of love?"
"When I was born, I was meant to give any ounce of love my soul carried to one being and that being alone."
My heartbeat had fell to a slow but steady beat. "Who was that person?"
His gaze fell downwards. "That person goes by many names in your world, but the most common of those... is God."
I took a few involuntary steps back from him.
"Don't be afraid of me Luke," he reformed the short distance between us. "I know that this sounds crazy but I'm telling you the truth in order to protect you from the things that you are unaware of, and you know I won't ever hurt you." He reached and held my hand gently in his warm one.
"I just," I looked down to his thumb caressing my palm. "I'm not too sure how to take all of this in."
"I know Luke, but if you kept trying to dig any further into the truth in the wrong places it could've put your life at risk, even the people you love."
My heart skipped a beat. "How could this put our lives at risk?"
He made quick glances around the corridor. "There are people here who are also like me. Not exact but we come from the same place and they will kill anyone that they find that poses a threat to their secrets."
"But everything you just told me," I interjected.
"Don't worry Luke," he assured me placing his hand on my shoulder. "I won't let anything happen to you."
His violet eyes had more light in them than I had seen in the last week and was grateful that it was back. "This is still making me feel uneasy. Could we maybe discuss this somewhere more private."
"Of course," he reassured. "Would you be comfortable going to my place again?"
"Yeah that sounds good," I said. "But, I'm still very sorry that I looked through you're personal things."
"Don't worry about it Luke," he said bringing me into a warm embrace. "I'll explain everything to you."
I sat on the soft cushion of the couch giving a full view of his oil paintings.
"Here, warm coffee," he handed a mug of black coffee.
"Thanks," I said taking a long drink from it.
"That song you sang at school was beautiful," he said.
"Oh, thank you," I said fighting back a blush, all the while remembering me telling Jack that he would be the first one to hear it.
A short silence fell between us.
"Well, I guess I should continue with the explanation."
I nodded.
"I was born to serve and love only that who had given me existence," he began. "We were given everlasting life and could not leave our realm unless released by our creator or forcefully removed by the weapons they had also created."
He had my full attention, and I was drawn into his story like a child would be a fairy tale.
"So, you are immortal?" I asked when he had given a short pause.
"Yes. I am," he responded sounding more as if it were a curse than a blessing, and then continued. "Many of your kinds' viewpoints on why we were damned are quite controversial."
"What do you mean by that?"
"The source material in your religious works give out small fragments of the truth behind why we were exiled to this world."
"Why exactly were you exiled?"
"We chose to give our love to another being that it was not meant to be given to." He looked down into his half empty mug.
"Whom was it that you chose to love?"
He set his mug down on the coffee table and sat back against the pillows and then looked deep into my eyes. "We chose to love you," he said placing his warm hand over mine. "Mortals."
"Mortals?"
"Yes. The one thing so much of your kind does not see within itself is that your lives are only temporary. We will never know what a lifetime will ever feel like."
My hand turned and grasped his. The warmth within his hands would never be cold, the flesh surrounding it would never wither, his soul would always be bound to a world that never pauses. Even for an immortal life.
"We longed to know firsthand what mortality was and why our creator never granted us that. We wanted to live among you and feel the things you felt, see the things you saw. In all honesty, we wanted to be free. Free of the thing that our creator had bestowed to us as a blessing."
His hand released mine and placed a soft finger to my face and wiped away a single tear. It was then that I had realized I was weeping for him and his unfortunate ignorance to want something so many people would throw away for what he had.
"Daniel..."
"It's very uncommon for a mortal to shed tears for someone like me. Most of your kind sees me in an almost god-like manner, all the while ignoring the fact that we too have souls and that we too have desires."
I involuntarily brought a pale hand to his face and caressed it with my fingers. This person, this being, it spoke of being born in another realm that which was separate from our own, but his soul was exactly identical to ours.
"There is nothing in this world meant for an immortal, only loss."
"I'm so sorry Daniel."
He gave a weak smile and brought his hand back over mine on his face. "Why is it that you don't doubt me?"
"I can see your pain," I said. "I can feel it too. And now I know that no mortal person can tolerate pain such as yours and live. So despite all of the stories I was told as a child that were meant to be bed time stories, I believe them. I believe you Daniel."
His smile grew more. "I'm grateful that you do," he said and pulled me into his arms. I instinctively wrapped my own around his waist, relishing in his everlasting warmth.
We held one another for a long while before breaking apart.
"There is still one more part to our story I haven't told you yet," he said. "There are those who were exiled to earth and there was only one who was damned with a curse. A curse that would plague them forever more." I held his gaze. "That person was me."
"You?"
"Yes. I was the first to fall in love with a mortal."
"What happened to the mortal that you fell in love with?"
"They were cursed along with me. For many millennium I would be reunited with them, we would fall in love, and then they would die. Many years later they would come back to me in a different form only to meet the same fate again."
"Your journal," I exclaimed. "That time in 1992, that was the last time you were reunited with them."
"Yes... it was."
I felt guilty about bringing it up but it was still vital to his story. "What was their name?" I asked.
"They were always reincarnated in the form of a woman in many places all across the world. Any place that I tried to flee to their soul always managed to find me. But this time, something is different."
"How so?"
"Their name they were given when they were born was Lucinda."
My chest heaved. "My sister? My Lucie..."
"Yes. But what's different about this time is when she first saw me at Sword and Cross just a few days ago she wasn't drawn to me. In her previous lives she would always be drawn to me and was always determined to be with me even though she could not explain the feelings she did not know her soul had felt for me. I began to wonder why it was that she remained so distant from me and then it dawned on me that she was born with a twin sibling." His eye focused more on me.
"That has never happened in all the times I met her in her previous lives."
"What exactly is it about her that has changed this time?" I asked.
He closed his violet eyes for a brief moment before opening them again to speak. "This time... this time she was not reborn in the body of a woman."
Cliff hanger! DX
Hope any of you don't mind that I changed some of the things from the actual book and for those of you who haven't yet read it I won't spoil what those changes are!
Until the next chapter!
Song used in this chapter: Till I Fall Asleep by Jamie Dee