Chapter 12

I DO NOT OWN FALLEN!

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Twelve: Cherished

"What are saying? Not reborn in the body of a woman?"

"When a person is about to be born a soul will attach itself to them and once they draw their first breath of life they form a permanent connection to that body till death comes to part them. The soul of the mortal that I've loved for lifetimes beyond measure had attached itself to one of two empty vessels in this new life. That vessel was your new born body Luke. The person that I have loved and lost countless times over again is you."

My heart had cowered to the far depths of my rib cage. "Me?"

His violet eyes had dimmed. "I've lived for so long Luke. I get to see babies be born. I get to see them grow up. See them fall in love and have babies of their own. I get to see them die old and withered with the people they love. One thing that I'll never have, and one that neither you will have."

"Why?" my voice rose in forte.

"Because you were my first sin. You are damned for eternity alongside me."

Forever to walk on this earth. Never to grow old and die along with the people I love and find peace wherever that may be beyond death.

"No... No." I could feel my eyes heat up and burn from threatening tears.

I ran down the short hall to his front door.

"Luke!"

This time I was sure to close his door behind me. I strode down the corridor of the complex hearing the metal hinges of the door creak as it opened. I didn't hear any footsteps pursuing me but didn't slow my pace and took the three flights of stairs to the lobby instead of the elevator.

Once the cool fresh autumn air seeped into my lungs my legs began the steady pace of a casual walk throughout town. I quickly wiped away the moisture that collected in my eyelids and tried to act casually as bystanders began to pass.

I knew of only one place where I could take refuge and clear the chaos in my mind. So I made my way down to Forsyth park.

The dim sunlight crept through the pillars of the gazebo. The cold air was piercing through my clothes and my shivering limbs were already helping to clear my mind. What if everything that Daniel had told me wasn't truly real? What if it was?

It would be impossible to forget the things that he had told me in just that single conversation. But the one thing I couldn't understand more was why I reacted the way I did when he told me about his curse. Our curse.

I felt the essence of pain that I had felt from somewhere before, but had no memory of it.

I massaged my temples and ran my hands through my hair into the scalp, prepared to rip out every strand from the frustration of wanting answers, answers that only Daniel could give me but no longer had the strength to hear them.

I knew that there was still much more for him to tell me, but I couldn't withstand to hear anymore. If I had truly lived many lives before this one, how many people did I leave behind in the past ones. Could the people that I love now have been a part of my previous life or the ones before that.

Pressure began to form in my head again and I cradled it in my hands supporting my elbows on my knees.

"Luke?"

The pressure had ceased instantly at that familiar gentle voice. I looked up into the kind and deep brown eyes of Matthew. He stood in the threshold with his hand resting on one of the pillars, his dark olive skin was a beautiful contrast to the white paint of the gazebo. His curly black hair was tied back with a few stray wisps falling from his neck and into his face.

"Matt?" I exclaimed.

"In the flesh," his warm smile welcomed me.

"When did you get back? I thought you wouldn't be here till next month."

"Yeah, that's what I thought too. But I ended up finishing my studies a little bit sooner than expected, so surprise!" He raised his arms.

"Gosh, didn't think I'd miss seeing you this much."

"So what you're just gonna sit there and not welcome me back?" his eyes looked hurt.

I immediately rose and quickly wrapped my arms over his shoulders. Unlike John or Jack I didn't have to stand too high on my toes to match his height when going in for a hug.

"Aw, so you did miss me then?"

"You know I did," I interjected relishing in in his calming aura. He always smelled of mint and had such a calming presence that could eased anyone's troubled mind.

"Hm," he grunted returning my friendly gesture. "Missed your nice hugs too."

"Have you already told Em that you're back?"

"Yeah," he said pulling away. "I just got in town the other day, we went out to dinner last night, had quite a bit of catching up to do. She told me her uncle put a shot gun shell through the roof at their family reunion."

"Yeah," I laughed. "Marcus was always reckless, guess he hasn't changed. But what about you? How were things at that training medical school?"

"Oh, well, I was ranked number two in all of the students there when the final scores were put in."

"Holy crap Matt!"

"Yeah," his smile brightened. "I... ended up getting a full scholarship to Princeton." He scratched the back of his head.

"You're kidding me," I said in disbelief.

"Nope, once I've graduated I leave for university the next month."

"Wow Matt that's incredible, or should I say Dr. Velazquez."

"Hey now I've still got a ways to go from here."

"But you've made it this far already, I still think that's something amazing. Think of all the people that you'll be able to help."

"Yeah," he said taking a seat on the wooden bench. "What about you Luke, how have you been. I've already heard that you and Jack started going out, how's that been?"

"It's been really nice. I never knew that I'd be like this with Jack and, now I can't stop thinking about him half the time. Is that how you were when you and Em started being together."

"Yeah," he laughed. "And it's still that way now too. I couldn't keep her off my mind when I was away. Texting and video chatting weren't enough. I spent the whole day yesterday with her and it still wasn't enough."

"It's good to know that we might be like that for a couple more years down the road maybe even more."

His eyes looked at me more troubled. "Are you sure you're okay Luke? When I first saw you I thought you were crying or something."

"Oh no," I reassured him. "I just have some things going through my mind right now and it's a little hard for me to process them now."

"Do you... want to talk about it?"

I took a seat right beside him. "I guess it would help."

"Yeah, you know you can talk to me about anything. so let's hear it what's on your mind?"

"I guess, I'm a little scared." I paused.

"Scared? What exactly are you scared of?"

"Well, how things will turn out in the future. I mean, I've always thought that things would take their natural course in life but since being together now with Jack, nearing our end in High School, then going to college and thinking about what we'll make of our lives in the future. What ever happened to being ignorant teenagers with our whole lives ahead of us and not ever thinking about what it would hold?"

"Well, from what I've learned in just this year is that we don't entirely have control over our lives," Matthew said. "I didn't ever expect to be a doctor, all I ever wanted to do was help people. And then I started to explore the medical field and a few years later here I am now. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we could have an idea about what we want in our lives, but that idea won't exactly be what we want, but more so a guide to helps us get what we want."

I was amazed and moved by his words, but all the more relieved of the chaotic thoughts that plagued my mind.

"Wow, I never really thought of anything like that before. I swear that you're an old soul Matt."

"Well, I've had a lot to take in these past few years. Guess I'm a fast learner."

"No Matt, I've always seen the way that you view the world and I thought that I was the only one that saw it that way. Someone could experience the same things that you have and respond to them differently. You're a really amazing person Matt and a really good friend."

"Aw Luke, I've only been with you for a few minutes and you're gonna make me cry already," his eyes looked a bit glassy.

I wrapped an arm over his shoulder. "Well it's your fault for being such a good person."

"Guess I'm lucky for having a friend like you," he said bringing me into a full hug.

"Thank you Matt, I really needed to hear your words of wisdom again."

"Anytime Luke." He rubbed my back gently.

"Have you had the chance to see John?"

"Not yet, I was just about to head over there now and see if there's anymore of Sue's pastries."

"Well it's already late so there might not be that much left, but she always makes a fresh batch for a familiar face."

He inhaled deeply thinking of the aroma of Susan's bakery. "Man, a whole summer without any of her cakes and pies, I need to have some right now." His eyes drifted off in daydream.

"Well you'd better hurry before they're sold out or John eats all of them."

"Yeah," he laughed. "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at school then?"

"Definitely," I answered.

We both rose from the bench and he drew me into one last hug.

"Feel any better now?"

"Very much."

"Good," he smiled. "So are you off to anywhere after this?"

"I don't know, I was thinking of calling Jack later and seeing if wanted to hang out for a bit."

"Okay, you two kids be safe."

I laughed and lightly punched his shoulder. "It was really nice seeing you again Matt, and I'm glad you're finally here to stay."

"Thanks Luke." He smiled. "Well, I'm off to get me some freshly baked goods."

"I'll see you around." I waved goodbye as he walked away into town.

I closed the apartment door behind me welcomed by smell of cooking meat and spice.

"Hi mijo," my mother said smiling over the stove her straight dark hair falling over her shoulder. "Just in time for dinner, I'm making Carne Asada."

My stomach growled. That was always my most favorite dish my mom made.

She told me that it was my great-grandmother Juanita's recipe that she made when she opened her first restaurant in Mexico before coming here to America. I always thought about the family that she left behind but my grandmother told me that she wanted to make a better life for her own family and that's why she came here. She died just last year at the age of eighty-four.

The TV was on in the living room and showed PBS.

"Is Lucie here or is she spending the night at Em's again?"

"No honey, she's here." She was smiling while turning the large slabs of meat in the pan with the salsa and spice ready in two bowls with beans and rice.

I walked up to her and gave her big hug. "I love you mom."

"Aw sweetie, I love you too," she said setting down the meat fork and hugged me back. "Dinner will be ready in just a bit, why don't you go get Lucie so we can all eat."

"Okay mom." I smiled and headed for Lucie's room down the hall.

Her door was open and she was on her bed sitting comfortably against the pillows reading her copy of If I Stay by Gayle Forman.

"Dinner's almost ready," I said leaning against the door frame.

"Be there in a minute," she said with that look in her eye she always had when reading a book she loved.

"You've read that thing a million times Lucie."

"I just love this story so much," she laughed. "She tries to find reasons to move on and die but can only find reasons to stay and live."

"You know I like it too."

"Of course, that's why I got your copy signed too. You should've been then Luke, Gayle was so sweet and nice, even though we only saw and spoke to her for like ten seconds."

"Sorry I couldn't make it, and I know that you love the story more than I do. I still think The Lovely Bones is better though."

She laughed. "I know Luke, and I still remember that time you nearly broke down when I got you that signed first edition last year for our birthday."

"And that's why you're the best sister in the world," I said sitting on the bed right next to her. "Lucie?"

"Yes." Her eyes left the pages drawn by the lower tone in my voice.

The things that Daniel told me still crept into my mind. One thing that I'll never have, and one that neither you will have.

"You know that I love you right?"

"Luke." She set the book down and turned to face me. "Of course I know that. What's wrong, where is this coming from?"

"I just, don't think that I ever tell you that very often."

"Luke," she said placing her hand over mine. "You do tell me that, at least three times every day and even if you didn't tell me that often I would still know it. You're my brother Luke. You always looked after me when we were little. You held my hand when I was nervous on our first day of kindergarten. You let me sleep in your room with you every night I had a nightmare when we were kids. You held me every night when I cried after dad died." Tears were forming in her eyes. "So don't you ever think for a second that I don't know that you love me."

She drew into a tight embrace and buried her face in my neck. "My Lucie," I whispered wrapping my arms protectively around her and gently stroked her long black waves.

We held each other a long while before our mom called us.

"Luke! Lucie! Dinner's getting cold."

We pulled apart laughing with one another while wiping away our tears and once we made sure we didn't look like we were crying went into the kitchen to eat.

I texted Jack asking if I could come over to his place.

Jack: Sure, hey why don't you stay the night here. My mom's staying over at Mike's for tonight and Saturday so I'll have the place to myself till Sunday. That sound good? ;)

All tension seemed to have gone down to my groin. Oh the joys of adolescence.

"Hey mom is it alright if I spend the night at Jack's?"

"Oh, sure honey, as long as it's okay with Mary."

"She said it's fine," I said smiling, leaving out the part that we'd be the only one's in the house for the entire night.

I pushed Jack onto his bed straddling him and crashed my lips to his. It felt like I hadn't seen him in years and with each movement ignited another spark within my body, threatening a fire to start that would never be extinguished.

His hands ran through my hair and drifted down to my lower back as I held onto his shoulders, gripping his own soft hair in my hands. He moaned into my mouth as I sucked on his tongue and then took his bottom lip between my teeth and gently tugged on it while I ground my hips.

We were both panting when we finally pulled apart to catch our breath.

"Holy shit Luke," he gasped. "When you said you wanted hang out I didn't have this in mind."

"Well I missed you," I responded out of breath smiling at his astonishment.

"Could you miss me some more then?" He raised an eyebrow.

Good damn that's hot. And I went back and caught his lips again. He pulled me as he laid down on his bed and rolled over so that he was on top. I wrapped my legs around his waist pulling him more into me while still keeping my rhythm against his crotch and could feel his pressure more apparent against mine.

My hands cam up against his chest and felt the heat that radiated off of him and massaged his pectoral muscles. I moved my right hand lower, passing his abdomen down to the hem of his jeans and held the firmness of his erection.

His moaning deepened sounding more like a hungered growl. I tightened my grip around him feeling the pressure increase and then he suddenly pulled away.

"What's wrong?"

"Something's telling me that we should stop," he hesitated. "But part of me really doesn't want to."

I laughed at him with a smile. "Still want to try and 'take things slow'?" I asked running my free hand through his hair.

"You, are making this really hard for me Luke," he said with a stern look.

I slowly began to stroke my other hand back and forth and traced the lobe of his ear with the tip of my tongue. "And quite firm too," I whispered.

He let out a slow breath and every tense muscle in his body relaxed as he slouched into my neck. "I love you Lucian, and I want to make sure that you're okay with this. Are you sure that you want this?" He pulled back looking into my eyes.

I released him and placed my hand on his warm face. His stubble had grown in and I rubbed my thumb against his cheek. "I love you too Jackson, so very much. And I want this, more than I've ever wanted anything. I want you."

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me up to him holding my lips to his in a gentle kiss. With my reassurance I slowly rose up and pulled my shirt over my head followed by my jeans. I was left bare in only my briefs and reached for Jack's button and fly then pulled off his blue jeans and tossed them from the bed. I sat in front of him on the bed and gripped the neckline of his shirt and pulled it off over him, his body just as exposed as mine with only a thin layer fabric left on our bodies.

He was beautiful. I couldn't remember the last time that I looked at him with nothing covering the top half of his body. The muscles in his chest and arms were more apparent than in the past. He wasn't 'buff' but still had the nice toned body of an athlete. I ran a hand over his chest feeling the rough texture of hair that covered it.

His own hands began to wander over my own exposed body that was smooth and practically hairless compared to his, with only small thin patches that grew on my legs. I was always self conscious about being a guy and having practically no body hair, but Jack told me that it didn't matter to him because he loved me just the way I was.

I leaned in and placed soft kisses on his cheek and trailed down to his neck. I placed my hands on his broad shoulders and motioned for him to lay back against the pillows.

Once he was fully relaxed my lips wandered down to his left nipple and slowly stroked my tongue around the sensitive area. He raised his arms placing them behind his head and moaned. I looked up to see his eyes struggling to stay open from the pleasure, his biceps were bulging over his shoulders exposing the thick tufts of his armpit hair that strengthened his spicy masculine scent. I moved to the other nipple and nourished it in the same manner but then began making sucking motions with my lips.

A deep groan escaped his lips and his chest heaved reacting to my lips like they had burned him. He placed both his hands on my chest pushing me back slightly and caught my lips in his. His tongue trailed over my lips and teeth as he turned over so that he was now on top of me.

"You're sure that you want this, Lucian. We don't have to go any further if you are uncomfortable."

I gripped the back of his hair pulling his warm body closer to me. "I want you Jackson. All of you."

He embraced me fully whispering words of love into my ear that were drowned out from the ringing in my head, the part of me that wanted ever moment of this to be eternal.

Our briefs had joined the pile of clothes by the bed side and were entirely exposed to one another.

He held me gently in his arms and slowly pushed his way into me. The pain had subsided once I relaxed the muscles below my waist and the he began moving forming a rhythm that matched my heart beat. My legs wrapped tightly around his waist pulling him closer to me and urging to fasten his pace.

He massaged the back of my head while he whispered my name into my ear.

"Lucian, Lucian." His voice began to drift away.

The heat was rising in me and I nearly dug my nails into his skin as I was now even past my limit. With one last thrust forward he released his warmth into me making muffled sounds as I felt him pulse.

We pulled apart but were now forever connected with a love that I wished with every fiber of my being could transcend time itself.

He pulled the bed sheets over our bodies and brought me closer to him so that our hearts were only a hairline apart.

"I love you so much Lucian. Always, and forever."

I shut my eyes tightly closed refusing to let one teardrop escape and clung to him with my last giving strength. My fears and worries faded to black by the comforting sound of his heart beat. I would lie in this moment with the one that I loved more than my own life for as long as I could and cherish it as if it were my very last.

I've had this ending scene in my head for a long time now. I just couldn't deepen Luke and Jack's relationship with hugs and kisses and wanted to give them a moment to express their love for each other as passionately as I saw right for them.

Well for those of you who still enjoyed this chapter you have my full gratitude. And a special thanks to the favorites, follows and reviews from you guys!

Until then! :)