We meet again for another chapter!
So I was planning on uploading this chapter before I started classes last month but it wasn't finished yet and didn't want to be distracted too much from studying :( sorry. But, here is the next chapter none the less. :)
Geez, I can't believe it's been over two and a half years since I posted this story, the time just goes too fast sometimes. I definitely won't be like those authors that haven't updated or finished a story in years so I promise you I will see this story through to the end.
Oh, and I saw the Fallen movie last month and it was beautiful! ^_^ Thank you so much Lauren Kate for finally giving it to us! :) Hope all of you enjoyed or will enjoy it too!
I do not own Fallen!
Enjoy!
Fifteen: Atone
I didn't think I could be held closer to him when his fingers dug into my back. "Please Luke," he muttered. "Don't run away again."
My own hands had left his soft ivory wings and rested on his large frame. "It's okay Daniel. I'm not going anywhere," I reassured him as I ran a set of fingers into his hair. I knew that there were things that waited for me that I might not want to hear from him, but it all ceased when the thought of Daniel being left alone came to mind. "You can tell me anything. I'm ready. I want to know."
"You'll despise me when you know what I took from you."
"I could never despise you Daniel. After everything you've told me. After realizing how long you've been alone." My fingers gripped gently onto his hair and shirt. "I can only feel love for you. I just want to keep you safe."
Unexpectedly I felt a laugh spur from him as he rubbed my upper back. "I should be the one keeping you safe. I can finally do that now that I've kept my promise."
"Promise?"
"Letting you go," he said. "I didn't think I could do it, but seeing you here as you are now, it looks like I can."
I immediately pulled back. "So you'll just leave." My heart began racing again but not with agony, but fear.
"I already told you Luke. You'll despise me when I show you what I took from you."
"Show me?"
"Yes." His hands came to rest on either side of my face. I relished in the warmth radiating from them when my sight of those violet orbs left me and were replaced by iridescent emeralds.
Helston, England November 1858
"Are you feeling well Luce?" He asked as a worried hand rose to my forehead. "You're not too cold?"
"I'm alright Joaquin, really," I said as we made our way down the shops for food.
It's been almost four years since I had first met Joaquin. He still insists on me calling him Jack but I loved the sound of his real name more. The day that I met him was unlike any other that I've lived. All the sorrow from that day was now simply a memory, for now there was joy in my life again.
My father approved of Joaquin when I first introduced him. Although he was cautious of a labor man he admired his will to work hard and provide for his family. My mother however was more easily won. It was just last year when the both of us announced at dinner our engagement. The wedding our families had prepared was small but all the more special now that we promised to always be there for each other.
There are nor words that can describe everything that Joaquin has given me. Unconditional love and endless joy. I never once thought that I could ever have that with anyone else.
As I was just about to walk along the path to the shops a warm body had enveloped me in warmth holding me in place. "Please Luce, try to be a bit more careful. You're eating for two now." His hands came to rest on my enlarged abdomen. I could feel the warmth from his hands radiating into me and felt a stir from inside of me. "She's moving!" he exclaimed.
"Of course she is," I laughed. "Who wouldn't at the warmth of your touch?"
His hands rose to my shoulders and I turned to face him. His hair falling over those beautiful eyes of his and that smile that always lifted my spirit. I hope she has his eyes. I thought. "I love you, Luce."
My heart skipped a beat that I new she must have felt and heat flooded into my cheeks. "I love you too, Joaquin."
His face was descending to mine and I closed my eyes once our lips met. I laced my fingers into his hair as his hands wandered to my lower back to pull me in closer. It all felt too much to be real and the fire burning inside of me finally ceased when we parted.
"We should hurry," he said. "Before all the shops close."
"Yes, we should," my breath still coming back to me.
He took my hand in his as we made our way into town while my other came to rest at my abdomen where our child lay.
A force we pushing me back and I stumbled into reality caught by strong arms. Those violet orbs returned with a dim light in them.
"That..." I inhaled a deep breath as if emerging from water. "Was that..."
"Yes," Daniel said.
My chest started quivering. "I was..." My hand rose to my stomach.
I caught sight of Daniel breathing at the same pace as me. "Now you know," he said.
"How did... I was older in that memory."
"Yes."
"And that man was..."
His eyes never met mine.
"What happened at that time? How was Jack there? How did you take that away from me? What-"
"Luke, please, slow down. I'll tell you everything."
"I thought you said you couldn't tell me everything."
"Not all of everything Luke, just what was in that lifetime."
"Okay," I nodded.
"That lifetime was when I tried to leave you for the first time. I was gone for four years and I thought everything would be alright because I never once crossed paths with you again. No matter where I went you were always there. I didn't know what else to do so I... I went back to see you."
"I never saw you," I thought back to the memory.
"Yes, you did Luke. And the moment that you did it killed you, along with her."
My thoughts wandered back to the memory of her moving inside of me.
"That was also the time when you first met Jack."
"But he's still here with me," I muttered.
"His soul has been following you for a long time. And I've taken you from him that many times since then."
My head fell as more thoughts clouded my mind.
"Things will be different now."
I looked back up to him.
"I knew there was something different about you when I first realized who you were. Putting all the pieces together I understood why it was. By letting you go I broke the curse that plagued us for thousands of years." His eyes never met mine when he spoke. "To think," his voice cracked. "That was all I needed to do to end your pain." Tears began clawing their way down violet eyes.
"No."
He blinked and two tears fell helplessly to the floor.
"No you didn't," I tried controlling my trembling voice. "Look at me Daniel!"
He eyes slowly found their way to mine.
"Do I look like I'm no longer in pain Daniel?" I could feel my heated face cooled by my own tears.
"Luke..."
"After everything you told me. I can't... I can't just live a life without you in it now!"
"How can you say this Luke!" His sharp tone nearly made me flinch. "After what I just showed you, you can say something like that to me. You should hate me!"
"NO!"
"I took away a good future from you! Something I thought you'd never have! Jack! YOU'RE DAUGHT-"
"STOP IT!"
His reddened eyes widened with shock and his breath gained more control.
"You didn't take everything away from me Daniel. I have so much more now than I did in that memory. What's even more, I have Jack again. I can still have a future."
He inhaled slow deep breaths. "You..."
"I have a mom, a sister, a boyfriend, a best friend who's like a mean older brother, and three other close friends. I love and cherish all of them, and I know they do me too. Not everyone in this world has or is guaranteed to have what I have."
The darkness and doubt had left his now drier eyes.
"I can forgive you Daniel. But I'll only forgive you if you stay, with me. I don't want to see you living like this. I can't believe you when you say you're not alone now."
"Luke, I can't be with you."
"Yes," I said. "You can't be with me. But you can still be a part of my life, right?"
He exhaled.
"You said to me that there was a danger in the secrets you told me, but nothing has happened to me or anyone I know in the last month."
His eyes widened slightly at the thought. "I haven't seen any of them..."
"What?"
"The Outcasts and The Elders."
"Who are they?" I asked.
"People you won't ever want to meet. They always make their presence known to me when I would be close to meeting you as a way of keeping the curse in check. But ever since I came here I never saw a single one of them."
"Didn't you say you had friends that were like you too?"
"Yes. And they haven't seen or heard anything either."
"Daniel... If they're really your friends why aren't they here with you?"
"It's like I told you before. They understand when I need some time to myself."
"After everything you told me and everything else you still haven't, I couldn't think of leaving you alone for a minute."
It was a while before he spoke again. "Why Luke?"
"Why what?"
"Why would you want me in your life after everything you know now."
"Because I'm not the one still in pain Daniel. I don't remember what I felt in that moment you showed me but I think it's close to the pain of the thought of losing you again."
He blinked and his eyes drifted to the floor.
"I want you in my life Daniel. You have such a beautiful soul and you're hurting yourself. Make things right by staying with me. I want to see you be happy. I can make you happy if you stay."
"Is this really what you want Luke?" There was still pain in his eyes.
"Yes, Daniel." I held out my hand to him. "Promise that you'll stay by my side."
His eyes stayed fixed on my pale hand then slowly took it into his warmer one. He stepped closer, towering over me. "I promise Luke. I'll stay with you, as long as you want me to."
My heart felt as if it would break free as I lifted my arms over his broad shoulders. "Good," I said nestling my head in his chest, engulfed in his warmth. "Cause I'm never letting you go."
I poured myself another cup of coffee thinking about how much sleep I would be losing tonight. But with all the thoughts crashing in my head now and all of the emotions that broke free I'd still struggle with that alone without caffeine.
"You know you still can't have what all of what you would have had before." I paused and felt steam moisten my lips as the mug was just inches from my mouth.
"What do you mean?" I turned facing Daniel.
"You can't have children of you're own."
"I know that." My fingers traced the porcelain handle. "But there are lots of children in the world that need parents. We could adopt. Aside from that, I never really thought about having kids."
"Why not?"
I peered into the dark liquid as my reflection came into view when the rippling stopped. "I don't know. I guess I'm just afraid of the things I won't be able to protect them from."
"You'd make a good parent."
"What makes you say that?"
"Because of what you just said," he laughed. "Any good parent is afraid of what they can't keep from happening to their kids. Trust me, I've lived long enough to know who would or wouldn't be good parents."
I tried to imagine the sight of Daniel as a child, but after what he told me I'm sure that angels weren't made the same way humans were. Still the thought was very comforting.
"Well, I guess I could just take care of you," I smiled.
"Like I need to be taken care of?" He muttered puffing up his chest like a little kid proving their maturity.
"Of course, how else will I know that you're alright and happy."
"Huh, I guess I won't mind that then, so long as I can do the same for you."
I picked up the now cooler mug of coffee and took one long drink. "Well in that case," I said setting down an empty mug. "I guess it's a deal."
"Hey, Daniel?"
"Yeah?"
I was just about to turn the knob to my apartment door. "You told me that you've lived a long time."
"Yeah, that's right."
My hand fell from the brass knob. "How long exactly have you been alive?"
"Six," he said. My whole body shifted and he was suddenly in front of me. "I am over six thousand years old."
"How does someone even cope with living that long," I slowly shook my head. "All the people you must have met, all the places you've been, all the stories you could tell."
"I was born this way Luke. There isn't much to do but accept some things for the way they are."
"Do you ever get... lonely?"
He let out a long breath of his own and bit his lower lip. "A lot of times. Mostly when you were gone."
My hand suddenly came up to rest on his face, his eyes lids slowly descended at my touch. His skin was warm and stubbly from the patches of blonde hair growing in. As my fingers made small strokes on his temple and his eyes opened meeting my gaze again.
What must have these eye seen? I thought. And what did his face look like when he saw those things. This beautiful creature was ageless but his eyes had told more that what was said.
"Hopefully," I said. "That won't happen again."
"I don't think it will." A smile crept on his face.
Another thought came to me when my had fell back to my side.
"What will I tell the others?"
"Tell them what?" His eyebrows arched.
"When you still look the same twenty years from now."
The worried look left his face and was replaced by relief. "Luke, I can make my body age the same way a human's does."
My concern still remained. "And once illness or old age take us, where will that leave you?"
His own face had wanned.
In an instant all my worries of him being alone were back.
"Luke, he said, before I started to worry more. "There is... something I could do that would change that."
Despite all the coffee I drank from Daniel's I began to feel the effects of exhaustion take over. I glanced over at the kitchen table and saw my phone was still there. I quickly ran over to it seeing as I had been gone for over an hour. There was a text from Jack about ten minutes ago.
Jack: Hey Luke John just told me what happened the night you stayed over at his place.
I quickly unlocked my phone and responded.
Is everything okay?
He responded the next minute.
Jack: I think you should ask him that. He was practically balling like Emily watching a chick-flick when he was confessing. I kept telling him I forgave him but he wouldn't stop.
A quick thought came to me of John confessing to Jack and how he looked when crying. He must have been really scared by what Jack's reaction would be.
How is he now?
Jack: He's lying down now. I'm still here with him to make sure he's alright.
Want me to come over?
Jack: I think that would be a good idea. He still won't talk to me.
Sliding my phone into my front pocket I rushed to my room and pulled on an sweat-shirt from the pile of clothes at the foot of the bed and made my out the door.
I'm on my way now. I text back. Think you can hold out for another 20 mins?
The old rusted bell rang once I pushed open the door to Susie's.
"Good evening Luke," her bright smile welcomed me as she put the rest of the inventory in a plastic container. "I don't know how but we managed to keep a few chocolate croissants. You can have them if you'd like." She was dressed in a more casual attire but still looked young with her thick silky hair falling past her shoulders.
"Oh, thanks Susie," I smiled back. "I got a text from Jack that John wasn't feeling well." I felt it right not to reveal too much what the actual issue was to her.
"Oh, yes," her bright smile faded. "I don't know what's wrong. I baked him his favorite apple pie and he still wouldn't eat it. Hopefully the two of you could cheer him up." There was hope in her eyes.
"I'm sure we can," I assured.
"Well, he's right upstairs," she gestured to the short hall.
Once I was down the hall on the second floor to his room I could hear Jack's voice. "Johnny bear, c'mon. I said I forgive you. Please just talk to me."
I rounded the corner and saw John lying on his bed facing away from Jack who was now rubbing his shoulder.
"John?" I said.
Immediately he faced the both of us with alert redden eyes. "What are you doing here?"
"Jack asked me to come cause you weren't talking to him. What's wrong?"
He slowly rose and sat up looking down at the sheets. "How are you two so easily forgiving?"
"I already forgave you John," I said. "I know how bad it made you feel for kissing me and I don't hate you for what you did."
"Yeah, same here man." Jack squeezed his shoulder.
"I at least expected a black eye and a few broken teeth from you," John muttered at Jack.
"I consider myself more of a lover and not a fighter," Jack patter his own chest. "But maybe I would have if you hid this from me and I found out years later."
"Sheesh, then thank god I confessed right away," John let out a long breath.
"Yeah, I'd really hate to mess up that nice face of yours," he laughed patting Johns back a little too hard getting a pale look from him. "Haha, I'm only kidding Johnny bear. But maybe a few swings at the gut wouldn't hurt."
"I'll keep that in mind the next time I kiss Luke," he said returning Jack friendly tone only to receive a blank stare from Jack. "Ha! Now we're even," he exclaimed clutching his stomach as he wailed in laughter.
"Oh, I don't know Johnny bear, I think I have to kiss you too for it to be even." And he grabbed hold of Johns face making sly attempts to kiss him as John struggled to get out of his grasp.
I couldn't hold back any laughter at their casual wrestling. Some things never change. I thought.
"Hey, why are you just standing there, Luke? Get in here," John beckoned in a headlock.
"Uh, I'll take my chances," I said holding my hands up in defense.
"Well I think you leave us no choice then," he said slipping out from Jack's arms and the next thing I knew I was slung over his shoulder and gently thrown on the bed. It was a feeble attempt to escape from the gorilla arms holding me down and poking my sides.
It was strange in that moment. There were many times that we had like this, but after everything that happened in the last month it felt like years since I laughed or felt this much love from people I cared about. It took ever ounce of me to make sure those tears streaming down my face were from joy.
*sigh* That's one more chapter complete -_-
Really sorry again for the long delay again, school is just taking so much out of me lately. Hope all of you are still enjoying the story and stay tuned for more! :)