CHAPTER 10: Like Father, Like Daughter
"... I wanted to see him because I thought that he's my dad."
As her world of secrecy unravels itself even more, Rory realises that she has nowhere to run from the truth. In fact, the truth has outrun her.
After her daughter dropped the bombshell of her theory and after Rory is rendered speechless, she realises that she has to at least recover from the shock for long enough to be able to escape from the room.
"We'll talk in the morning, Elleigh. Sleep well" Rory says, trying to sound as calm and as relaxed as she can while her heart pounds and thumps from within her.
Rory can't get out of that bedroom fast enough.
By the time that she has her phone in her hand and makes a phone call on autopilot, her heart is already racing and her breathing is raspy. After she scrambles with her phone and then for the favourites icon of her contacts there's a "hi hun" through the line within seconds.
"Mom?" Rory cries through the phone, sounding equally weak and scared.
"Rory? Rory, honey, what's wrong?"
At the sound of the weakness and fragility in her daughters voice, Lorelai instantly worries. Her stomach plummeting until she knows and receives conformation that both her daughter and her granddaughter are okay.
Rory finds enough composure to manage to find a lighthearted-spin on her predicament before she speaks again.
"Mom..." She chokes out with a little exasperation. "You know that saying 'like father, like daughter'? I'm living it right now..."
"What do you mean?"
Rory can hear the confusion in her question, even over the phone, before she begins clarifying and answering her mother's question.
"Tonight, both Logan and Elle have asked me about the other. They've both worked it out. They know that they're father and daughter."
"Whoa. Hold on. Back track a bit. Explain this. How exactly have they worked it out?!"
Rory sighs and collapses onto her lounge, ready to give her mom the full story and explanation that has led to both her ex and her daughter catching onto her.
"Okay, so we saw Logan at the funeral. Elle has asked me a couple of odd questions about him since then. A few days ago she asked if we had been together... It turns out that she had been trying to be a junior journalist. She had started piecing it together and she thought that she had found the scoop; she suspected that he was her father."
There is a surprising moment of silence over the phone line, highly unusual for Lorelai, until she lets out a long and drawn out: "Ohhhhh..." before she continues speaking.
"So when Elle went missing today, that's why she ended up with him, is it? Did she manage to get in contact with him and go to see him?"
"Not quite. She found out that he was in the city, doing some sort of meet-and-greet. So she went to see him there, I guess she'd been planning to do more digging for information, and then he recognized her from the funeral and realised that she was alone."
"Well... Your kid certainly has more nerve than you. You would never try and sneak off... Even when you were old enough and I let you walk around the town on your own, you didn't want to; you wouldn't."
Rory simply scoffs at her mother's remark. It's times like this when she wishes that her daughter takes after her more than she takes after her father, having inherited the same wild streak as him.
Lorelai doesn't expect a response from her daughter after her last teasing comment, so she continues questioning further.
"How about Logan? How did he work it out?"
"I don't know... I didn't even know that he was onto it. He never said what tipped him off. My only guess is the fact that she turned up at his event and then from the details that he collected when they had a three hour drive home to talk is what tipped him off. He just asked me after Elle went to get ready for bed and he could read me before I had a chance to say anything or explain."
A silence falls between the mother and daughter across the phone as Rory sighs, suddenly feeling exhausted, while Lorelai tries to muster up an appropriate remark of what to say and tell her daughter, without using any inappropriate analogies or references, which is far from what Rory needs in the moment.
However, before Lorelai has a chance to respond, her daughter releases another heavy sigh before speaking once again.
"Mom... Everything's coming apart... Actually, it's already come apart. Everything I worked so hard to maintain and keep together. Now that he knows, what if Logan decides that he doesn't want to be a part of her life? What if I'm just going to expose Elle to everything that I worried about and everything that I tried to protect her from?"
"Hun... It's out of your hands now. You've done a good job with Elle on your own for so many years. You've done what you thought was best for her. But, you knew that this day would come. You knew Elle would want to know about her father one day. And unfortunately, it's Logan's decision to make now. Whether or not he wants to be in her life now that he knows about her, it's up to him."
There is yet another sigh from Rory.
"I know that I can't deny it and I have to face this now. Not that I have much choice in the matter anymore, but I do owe the truth and an explanation to both of them..."
#
12th of December 2007
"She's so beautiful hun... My favourite granddaughter by a long shot" Lorelai muses as she gazes adoringly at her newborn, firstborn grandchild.
Rory just rolls her eyes at her mother's comment. She's endured a lifetime of 'favourite child' jokes from her mother, which have already transferred to her own daughter apparently. Yet, nothing can wipe the smile off of the new mother's face.
Elleigh begins to whimper soft, small cries so Lorelai hands her back over to her own daughter since Rory had warned her that she will likely need a feed soon.
As the new mother holds her daughter protectively, she can't take her eyes off her, lovingly.
"She looks so much like him, mom. Sure she has our eyes, but other than that, she's all Logan."
Lorelai just smiles a little. She can't deny her daughter's words. She didn't know Logan as well as she knew Dean, but Lorelai could tell that Rory is right. Looking at the tiny, newborn baby, it is already evident who her father is just by looking at her.
"Remember that time in the early days? We were coming out of Friday night dinner one week when my dad had been grilling you about Logan and you were denying you were anything but acquaintances? Remember, mommy told you it was important he was good looking..."
Rory chuckles at the memory, the joke her mother had made all those years ago before her mother and her would-be boyfriend had even met. "Now that you mention it, I do remember that... I'd forgotten all about it."
"Well at least baby daddy had his looks going for him..." Lorelai chuckles before her mood becomes more serious, suddenly. "Speaking of, will you be giving a particular new father a phone call, or will you be paying him a visit? You know, let him know that his family tree's expanded. I know that you didn't want to tell him when you were pregnant, but now that he's a father? At the end of the day, it's your choice... but shouldn't he at least know about this beautiful little girl?"
Looking down at the baby in her arms as she listens to her mother, Rory just sighs. She feels like she has spent the last six months thinking about the baby she has only just now met and thinking about that baby's father.
She has poured hours into imagining all of the 'what if's' of if she says something and what if she doesn't? Where will either situation land her in 5 years? 10? What if he wants to be a part of her life? What if he doesn't? What if his family makes their life hell? What if she raises her daughter without her father? Would she be saving her from all of her fears or only inducing them?
"I know that he needs to know about her and a part of me is dying to show Logan what we made... But, I keep thinking about it. What should I do, what shouldn't I do?... What impact every decision that I make will have on Elleigh. So, I've concluded that I can't tell him right now. One day, yes, but just not yet..."
For as many pro-con lists as she writes and for as much time she spends contemplating and imagining every potential scenario, there is only one way how Rory can know Logan will act. But, the thing is that once it's out, it's out.
Rory respects Logan; not to mention, a part of her still loves him. But, for all the spontaneity and bravado that she loves about Logan, she knows that consequently, she can't depend on him. She can't guarantee that he'll be all in, she can't guarantee that he'll always be there, as much as he might want to. Yet, that's exactly what their daughter's going to need... She's going to need love and stability, and at this stage, Rory knows that that's what she can give her, but she doesn't know if he can provide that, let alone if he will even want to.
"I've thought a lot about how I think Logan would react. Logan's a good guy... I think that he would want to try and do the right thing, but I don't think he could. As much as he might try to convince himself that he can do it, he would struggle after a week. I know from experience that a father who comes and goes can do more harm than good. Not to mention, we both know how he messed up a few months back. Heck, the whole world knows and to me that just proves that the old, uncommitted Logan is coming back... That's the type of Logan that couldn't be a good father right now, as much as he might want to."
Lorelai's nods briefly, before her face hardens and becomes a little more serious. Rory notes her mother's pout of disapproval, but she knows that it's not her place to say a word to sway her daughter's decision. Rory knows how her mother feels about her decision and even more so, she knows how her step-father, Luke, feels about her not having told Logan thus far.
"It's your choice, Rory, but whatever you do from here on and whatever decisions you make, just remember that it's going to have repercussions; good or bad. You will have to face the music one day, to Logan and Elleigh."
Listening to her mother as she gazes at her daughter, she responds with the one big factor that outweighs almost everything else; Rory's one big fear.
"The thing that scares me the most is what if I tell him or what if he finds out and he doesn't want anything to do with her? How am I supposed to tell my little girl that?"
#
That same question that Rory had pondered over nine years ago is the same question that has been ringing through her mind since Logan had posed the question of her daughter's paternity... Their daughter's paternity...
As she changes her phone to speakerphone from where she'd been talking to her mother, she continues using her device, finding the phone number that had called her mobile earlier to let her know that Elle was safe and with Logan in New York. She finds that number and starts a new message while Lorelai continues speaking over the phone, the words not even computing with Rory.
'Logan, I hope this is your number. It's Rory. Can we meet sometime? We need to talk...'
She has to cross that bridge now that she has come to it.
She decides that she will meet with Logan, give him the explanation that he deserves, see where he is at and what decisions he makes with his new knowledge of being the father to a nine-year-old girl.
While she knows that she can't keep the truth forever and that Elle will have to know who her father is one day, Rory decides that she will wait for Logan's decision before telling Elle.
That way, if he decides against being a part of her life, she will try and stall that explanation for a few more years and hold off a little bit longer to avoid her daughter going through the pain of her father not wanting to know her.
However, if Logan does decide that he wants to be a part of Elle's life, well, now that will just unleash a whole other can of worms...
Thanks again for reading another chapter of my story. I really hope you enjoyed it. I have been loving writing this story, expanding to the Gilmore girls world and fandom as well as establishing Elleigh.
Next chapter: The talk! Logan and Rory talk about the past, their mistakes, where to from here and most importantly, Elle.