The biggest of thank yous to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter.
I was quite worried about the fact that the last chapter with Logan & Elle's meeting didn't go as smoothly as you might have hoped that it would. But, that was what felt right and natural to me when I was writing it. So, thank you all for being so understanding, appreciating that life doesn't always go as smoothly as you wish.
CHAPTER 14: Lead Balloons
The first official meeting of father and daughter had started off smoothly before going downhill after Logan went into panic mode and tried to buy Elleigh's interest in him.
So, after that, the following weekend Rory had invited a nervous Logan to come down to Stars Hollow and try again. The plan for today is that Logan will take Elleigh out for lunch and they'll go for a walk around Stars Hollow.
Despite the fact that he does want to spend time with his daughter, Logan feels certain that he is set to follow in his father's footsteps; that he'll prove to be a terrible father to Elle. Consequently, today, Logan feels just as nervous as the first day that he had stood alone on the doorstep, knocking on the door of his ex and his daughter's home.
After hearing the expected knock at the door, Rory is the first to reach it and open it this time.
"Hey, Elle will be ready in a moment. Do you want to come in while you wait?"
"Nah, I'm fine waiting here. Thanks, Ace. How are you?"
Rory has barely uttered the words "I'm fine" before Logan is distracted when another girl -but not just any girl- enters his line of sight. Elle's presence brings a smile to his face, an urge that he can't fight and an urge that he can't resist giving in to. Half of Logan still can't believe that he has a daughter, while the other half can't resist beaming with pride that the little girl in front of him is half of him.
"Hi Elle..." Logan says simply, with the smile still etched into his face.
"Hi, uh, da-, um, Lo-, uh... Hi... you."
Logan suppresses a chuckle at the younger girl's evident discomfort over his title, before she is the one to mention what she just tried to hide; despite failing miserably at doing so.
"Um, excuse me... What do you want me to call you? Logan? Mr. Huntzberger? Dad?"
"'Master and Commander'" Logan quickly states with a wild grin in the direction of the mother of his child. Rory can't hide her smirk at the reference to the first day they had met.
Standing between the two smirking adult as they share the inside joke is their poor child. Elleigh has no idea what in the world Logan's answer is about, nor why it is so damn funny.
"Sorry, I'm just messing around... Ask your mom about it later" Logan chuckles, clarifying to Elle as he sees the bemused look on the child's face before continuing to answer her question. "Seriously though, just call me whatever feels comfortable to you."
Elle nods at his response, mentally trying to determine what her answer to his question would be... What title does she feel the most comfortable with?
"I might just call you Logan, for now."
Logan simply nods in response.
While Logan had said one thing to Elle, deep down, he knows that he means another. Really, he'd rather for her to call him 'dad'. In fact, he'd love it... He'd love for her to feel comfortable enough to give him that title.
However, Logan also knows that it feels like that should be a title that is deserved and earned. So, maybe one day... After all, where's the worth in being called 'dad' without truly being considered as one? He'd be little more than Mitchum, then.
"So are you ready to go?" Logan asks Elle next, trying to distract his mind from the Logan-versus-Dad title debate that's going on within his head.
Elle simply nods and turns back towards Rory, giving her mother -who is beginning to look worried at her daughter's departure- a hug.
As Elle and Logan step away from the front door of the mother-and-daughters home, Logan looks back to Rory, seeing the fear and anxiety written all over her face.
"Don't worry, Ace. I've got this. Besides, we won't go far. We won't even go out of the town" Logan says in an attempt to reassure Rory, while she focuses on trying to muster up a smile as she watches the father and daughter leave.
"So, where do you want to go for lunch, missy? I know there's not an abundance of options in Stars Hollow, but we can go wherever your heart desires in town."
As Logan poses the question to his daughter, they are barely out of the front yard when Logan feels his phone vibrate from within pocket. He checks the sender, before reading over the message.
Ace: Hey, just a heads up, but she's been really quiet the last day or so... Just so you know, it's not just you if she's like that.
He constructs a text in response quickly and before Elle has even had a chance to answer Logan's last question: Thanks Ace x
"Um... Ummmm... Um, let's just go to 'Butches'" Elleigh finally decides as Logan brows furrow just a little.
He's only been to Stars Hollow a couple of times, nearly a decade ago, but he can't remember anywhere called 'Butches' on his last visit. But, then again, what does he know? She's the local after all...
"No worries. Lead the way."
As the two blondes walk through town together, Logan attempts to make small-talk with his junior, but he feels like he can't quite get through to her...
It feels as if there's some kind of wall or some kind of obstruction that's stopping from getting through to her or that isn't letting him in. He isn't sure what it is or why it's there. Logan's still new to this fatherhood thing. But, he can tell that there's something that is there, something that is resulting in walls being up and something that wasn't there the last time that he had hung out with Elleigh...
In attempt to try to combat and overcome the discomfort and silence with Elle, Logan has a whole game of twenty questions lined up although it is becoming more and more like trying to draw blood from a stone...
"So what have you and your mom been up to this weekend?"
"Not much."
"Ah okay. How was school?"
"Fine..."
"Have you watched any good movies lately?"
"A couple."
"Oh yeah? Which movies?"
"I'm not sure."
This is how the conversation goes until the father and daughter finally reach the destination that Elle has led them to.
Looking at the vaguely familiar diner, Logan is sure that he's seen it and been there before, but 'Butches' still doesn't sound familiar.
"Oh... Luke's..." Logan exclaims as he reads the sign of establishment that the two are standing outside of, as Logan opens the door to the diner for his daughter.
"Sorry, I forgot that you wouldn't know that. He's my Grandpa Butch, so 'Luke's' becomes 'Butches'."
Logan nods in understanding as he and Elle enter the diner. "You can choose a seat for us."
While Logan lingers by the door, he watches from afar as his daughter's face lights up at the sight of the man behind the counter of the diner, who happens to be midway through taking an order.
"Grandpa Butch!" Elle exclaims, racing over to the bench. Luke hands the order pad to Caesar, instantly focused on someone other than the patron. Customer service never has been the diner's strong point.
"Elle, sweetheart" Luke says with a grin equal to the younger girl's as she races into his open arms for a big, bear-hug.
Luke looks over to where Logan is standing, expecting to see someone else; expecting to see Elle's mother in Logan's place.
"Luke. Good to see you again."
"Logan..." Luke says, trailing off with an intense death-stare. He always had vowed to do terrible things to the man who had impregnated his step-daughter, but now is not the time or the place.
After the greeting and hug from her step-grandfather, albeit her favourite grandfather, Elle waltzes over to the other side of the bench and takes a seat.
While Elle had said barely five words to Logan on the walk over, she is suddenly at ease as she conversationally speaks to the other man.
After a few minutes of talking to Elleigh, Luke shoots a glance in Logan's direction, looking at the third wheel in the trio.
He had heard from Lorelai the previous night how Logan was taking Elle out to try and give them some time to get to know each other a little better. He realises that he should try and leave the two to it; at risk of the wrath of Lorelai if she learns that he had intervened.
"Anyway, I better get back to it, Elle. Give me a yell if you need anything, sweetheart" Luke says with a smile to his granddaughter before taking his pad and paper back from Caesar again.
Elle just nods at Luke before she turns to look at the man sitting beside her; the man who she is being forced to face now.
"So what would you like for lunch? What are some of your favourites? I haven't been here in ten years so I might need some help from an expert to know what to order" Logan says with a smile in Elle's direction.
"Um, I like everything on the menu" Elle says succinctly with an added shrug before turning back to Luke. "Grandpa Butch? Can I please get a burger and doughnut?"
"Of course" Luke exclaims before turning to the blonde man. "Are you getting anything?" Logan says he'll have the same as her, figuring it must be good enough for the regular to order it.
After taking the duos orders, Luke scurries off to the kitchen, leaving the father and daughter alone once again. Then, Elle notices as Logan opens his mouth to ask another question but before he has a chance to speak, she has turned around in her seat to speak to the man sitting at the table behind them.
"So how's Petal going, Kirk?" Elle asks conversationally, as Logan just shuts his mouth, pressing pause on the question he'd been going to ask.
"Petal's fine... about due for another bath. It's Lulu's turn this time."
Logan simply watches on for a few moments as his daughter makes small talk with the man, before he calls over his ex's stepfather in a loud whisper.
"Luke? Is it just me imagining it, or am I in the middle of a blizzard?"
"Not just you. I picked up on that too. She's reminding me of Lorelai when I'm in one of her ice ages. What did you do? Cause I swear if you've said anything or done anything to hurt her, to hurt either of them, I'll-..." Luke trails off once again, when he realises that he doesn't want his doting granddaughter to be in earshot when he says those words to Logan. "... Just consider yourself warned."
Logan rolls his eyes. He knows that he hasn't done anything wrong and he knows that he could swear until he is black and blue in the face saying that he hasn't done anything wrong and it'll make no difference. After all, Luke still hasn't forgiven Logan for catching him in a compromising position with Rory at her grandparent's vow renewal all those years ago.
Turning back to Elle, Logan manages to catch a gap in her forced conversation with Kirk.
"Elleigh? Have I said something to offend you or have I done something to make you feel uncomfortable?"
In response, the young blonde just shakes her head at him and instead turns to the menus this time, looking over it as her finger runs down the laminated page, acting as the latest distraction for her.
Meanwhile, Logan just sits there, watching her and wracking his brain to think if he's said anything or done anything today or since last week. She had been so warm and so bubbly just one week ago. What happened?
Eventually the plates holding two burgers and two doughnuts are placed in front of them and the distraction of eating is welcomed to combat the awkwardness for just a few minutes.
Minutes later and once she's polished off her doughnut in half the time that it has taken Logan, Elle is just about to turn back around to Kirk to resume conversation when Logan catches her attention first.
"Elleigh, are you sure I haven't done anything? I can't help but feel like you're upset with me... I'm sorry if it's anything that I've said or done."
While Elle has kept her ice queen persona up (strongly reminiscent of her great-grandmother Emily) throughout the course of the whole meeting thus far, when Logan apologises to her and pleas with her to explain to him, there's a little crack of true feeling when he sees the sad look on her face and in her eyes.
"Elle...?"
"Look, I just don't know why you want to be a part of my life, now - all of a sudden!" Elle abruptly says as the mask is ripped off and the frost thaws out while her true feelings are suddenly expressed. "Mom and I were doing just fine!"
Logan just looks at the younger girl, completely confused by her sudden change of attitude.
Just over one week ago, she had gone all the way to New York to try and meet him. Now, he is sitting there watching her as she gets off the stool and storms out of the diner. Logan doesn't delay in following suit.
"What? Where's this coming from, Elle?"
In the short time that Logan has known Elleigh, it has always struck him how much older, how much more educated and how much more mature than her age that she seems. However, as he approaches his daughter from where she stands outside, arms wrapped around herself, it suddenly strikes Logan how much younger and more fragile she looks.
In short, it breaks his heart.
He wants to approach her, he wants to hug her, hold her and comfort her... But, how can he comfort her when, by the sounds of it, he is what she needs comfort from.
"I saw the articles, Logan. I saw what happened around the time that I was born. I saw what I led you to do. I've found you now, but I don't need you... You didn't want me nine years ago, so why now? You should have just told me when I first went to see you."
Watching his daughter on the verge of tears, talking about something he isn't even sure of, everything begins to feel hazy to Logan. Oh so very hazy.
He has a feeling he knows the content of the articles that she is alluding to. He has a feeling that he knows the connection that she has made between the news reports and her, or, well, them.
... But, what he doesn't know is how to clarify the past without throwing Rory under the bus in the process. Sure, he's still unhappy with the decisions she made, but he can't do that to her, no matter what, but especially not when it's to their daughter.
"Elleigh, it's not like that. I-"
"Logan. Take me home. I want my mom. I want to go home" Elle says boldly, despite how weak she looks.
It isn't a question, it isn't a request. Rather, it's an order.
#
After a silent walk home, when Elle finally trudges up the steps to her home she doesn't knock and she doesn't say goodbye. Rather, she just storms into the home in the same way that she had stormed out of 'Luke's'.
"Elle? Honey?" Rory questions, seeing the evident upset on the face of the nine-year-old as the mother and daughter briefly cross paths in the hallway.
However, Rory doesn't follow after her daughter immediately, thinking she'll return for her daughter's side of the story in a few moments. Instead, she races out of her front door and manages to catch Logan just as he's climbing into his limo.
"Logan? What's going on? Why is she upset?"
"She's seen the articles about me. She thinks that I left you guys. She thinks that I didn't want her, Ace..."
So, just like the first time when it led her to her father, Elle has jumped to some more conclusions... But they aren't as accurate this time around. Consequently, poor Logan is being frozen out by Elle because poor Elle believes that Logan left her and Rory before she found him all those years later. The angst of this chapter broke my heart to write!
Also, Logan's scandal and the media coverage around it has been briefly alluded to a few times, but never really detailed. The full story of that will be out in a few chapters time, too.
Anyway, I'd love to hear your thoughts and feelings on the chapter!
Next chapter: Rory realises that Elle is more than ready for the whole story. Then, what question leaves Rory reeling?