'Merlin, I'm back!' Arthur bellowed and Merlin scrunched up the envelope, stuffing it into the pocket of Arthur's jogging bottoms. He poked his head out from the bedroom to see the DS look around the living room in confusion. 'Merlin?'
'Here,' he said, joining him. They'd been sat down for the better part of the day and Merlin hadn't noticed the fit of Arthur's clothes. Now it was a bigger distraction than hiding the spell with Arthur's eyes skimming over his slim frame. The jogging bottoms were comfortable but just managed to hang on his hips. The t-shirt fell around his torso loosely while it he'd seen it hug Arthur's body. Merlin shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny.
Arthur's lips crooked up at the side but he pulled his focus back to Merlin's eyes and hoisted up the two plastic bags with success. 'Guess what I got.'
'Food?'
'Really, Merlin?'
'Yummy food?'
Arthur groaned dramatically and shook his head disapprovingly. He left to the kitchen and put the bags down on the work surface. 'Most shops were closed, but I found this corner shop, although they didn't have the best ingredients. Potatoes, carrots, brussel sprouts, chicken,' he listed enthusiastically. 'Since we couldn't really celebrate yesterday, how about we try a crappy version of Christmas dinner now? By which I mean you cook and I keep you entertained with my marvellous personality. Scrambled eggs reach the extent of my culinary skills. I usually order out.'
'Sounds like fun,' Merlin said, helping him unpack. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Arthur looking the happiest he'd been in days.
'Hold on a second. There's one last thing,' Arthur muttered and walked out. Merlin slid the chicken onto a shelf in the fridge, followed by the vegetables, loving how it made it all more colourful. Filled rather than barren.
'Okay, turn around,' Arthur commanded, the smile evident in his content tone. Merlin shut the fridge and faced him, a little lost as to what was happening. In front of him Arthur held a present. Complete with silvery wrapping paper with cartoon snow men smiling and tipping hats, curly "Merry Christmas!"'s printed all over it. 'Merry Christmas, Merlin.'
'I didn't get you anything,' he muttered while the memories of cinnamon Christmas' and the solace of the holiday shrouded him like a blanket.
'You did. You breathing is gift enough. Now open it you ungrateful dolt.'
'Right, yeah,' Merlin said, emerging contentedly from his reverie to take the gift into his own hands. He carefully put it down on the counter and removed the wrapping paper, being sure to keep it intact and unscathed by the process. It revealed a black case. Lifting the lid he saw a glittering foam bed in which a gun slept peacefully. He explored the hard plastic body of the pistol, the power it held surging up his fingertips. The potential lying dormant, awaiting his command.
'You've got the training and licence, but I noticed you never actually got one,' Arthur mused. 'You keep getting yourself almost killed, so I figured you could use it. If I'd given it to you sooner, instead of waiting, you might have had it before Mord-'
'I love it,' Merlin said quickly, spinning round and hugging him. He did marvel at the gift, but the hug was more for Arthur's sake than his own. He benefited from the soothing act of course, but there was a guilt in Arthur's voice he wanted to melt away.
'It's a Glock 26. Standard issue for plain clothes officers like yourself,' he said, squeezing Merlin for a second and then stepping back, still beaming. 'Take it with you on Wednesday?'
Despite his reservations Merlin caught Arthur's chipper mood and grinned. 'I will.'
'Good.'
Arthur ruffled Merlin's hair before dragging him out to the table and opening his laptop.
'What are you doing?'
'Finding a recipe,' Arthur murmured, typing in his password. Merlin caught his hands before he could continue.
'Don't bother,' he said. Arthur's look of confusion led him on to elaborate, 'I used to make Christmas dinner with my mum. This is the first year I haven't actually been home for Christmas.'
'Really?'
'She'd always insist I go back. This time though,' he paused, ghostly shadows of his mother's Christmas fire falling over his face, 'it wasn't exactly an option.'
'Oh. At least I get to have you,' Arthur remarked with a toothy smile, nudging Merlin's shoulder with his fist. 'You know, with your experience and knowledge when it comes to festive dishes.'
'That you do,' Merlin admitted. With all seriousness he added, 'You're helping though.'
'Am not.'
'Yes you are, you royal prat,' Merlin insisted, this time being the one to loop his arm through Arthur's and pulling him back to the kitchen.
'Watch your tongue!' he exclaimed.
'I'm not your servant. I can insult you as much as I like,' Merlin asserted as he turned on the hob. 'Where do you keep the pots?'

Days passed and the preparations came together. Covertly informing the complex's workers meant the building would be clear on New Years and the armed response teams were willing to help them out. Merlin had called Morgana, telling her he'd come willingly, when Arthur had been showering. It insured that Old Religion would be there; she'd even given him a specific floor number which made life easier. Since the truth had been let out about her, no one had made any attempt at contact and she'd left Uther's mansion.
Arthur had made a quick visit to his father's old home after Boxing Day, fetching the will to talk it over with the solicitors. They'd only had one meeting, saving the rest for after the funeral. When he'd returned to the flat he'd told Merlin about all of Morgana's things missing, but all their shared valuables were safe and sound. He'd seemed distant.
It was Tuesday and Merlin sat curled up on the sofa watching a documentary, stomach filled and content. He peeked at Arthur who had collapsed down on the other side. Without wavering his sight from the truly fascinating re-enactment playing, he moved closer to the blonde.
'We could die tomorrow,' Arthur murmured. Merlin looked at his profile. It wasn't scared, taught, scrunched up with worry. It was absent of an emotion. He'd begun to see how Arthur locked away emotion, but he could never keep it from his eyes. Tonight they seemed withdrawn, conflicted.
'We could die at any time. If we couldn't, it wouldn't be called living,' Merlin mused. He'd spent the last few hundred hours thinking about it and he'd had a wonderful epiphany that put to rest his anxiety. You wouldn't know it. Sure, you'd no longer be living, but you wouldn't know that, would you? If he died, he died knowing Arthur, Gwaine, all these people he'd met less than a month ago but felt like he'd known for years. He'd know more about himself; understand the heat that thrived like a creature beneath his skin. He wouldn't know death and nothing. He wouldn't be alive to think about it.
So, he'd moved through that fear and faced the next one which he'd dealt with too. Losing Arthur. That, he'd decided, wouldn't happen.
'How are you so calm?' Arthur asked, resting his gaze on Merlin.
'Because we have a solid plan. We have one of the best teams I've ever worked with. We have the great Arthur Pendragon,' he explained, prodding Arthur's chest to drive home his point.
'What if I'm not that great? Morgana's known me since childhood; she knows some very personal things that could be used against me, against us. Old Religion's been around longer than I've been alive, they've killed dozens of people and Ambrosia shows how much influence they might have. You've almost died twice now thanks to them, and Gwen's suffering more than she ever should have, then the possible repercussions of taking them out, if we succeed, and I've been losing myself with the damn stress of it-'
His words evaporated into a surprised gasp when Merlin shifted forward and pressed his lips to Arthur's. Merlin didn't pull away when Arthur remained frozen. Instead he slid his hand around the back of his head and wrapped the other around Arthur's waist. The DS' body finally responded after his initial hesitation. Merlin's eyes drooped closed with his and he could feel the air roll across his burning skin, heart thumping in his chest. Arthur had no reservation with nothing left to them but each other, gently pressing Merlin down and draping himself over his thin frame.
His fingers ran down the dip in Arthur's back and through the thin fabric of his t-shirt he felt his heat, felt how the muscles had strained throughout his life. From running, chasing, shooting and jumping. From going to the gym late at night to morning jogs through the city.
They exchanged their experiences and lives in equal measure when they exchanged their breaths and Merlin wished to all the world that he could let Arthur feel what he felt. For Arthur to know about him what he could know from Arthur by one simple caress.
'Sorry . . . What was I saying?' Arthur inquired breathlessly when they released each other at last. His eyes opened, pupils blown wide, when Merlin brushed his thumb across his cheek.
'You can do this. We can do this,' he affirmed before pulling the blonde back down to lose himself in Arthur's life while their connection spiralled like a galaxy in his heart.

The winds bared their teeth, threatening to bite them with each passing moment. Around him his friends stood in their armour, Kevlar strapped to their chests and batons at their sides. Armed response teams had gotten into position minutes ago and now they waited on Kilgharrah's command.
'Merlin and I will go in through the lift,' Arthur said as he loaded his pistol. 'Gwaine, Percy, you two will use the scaffolding on the east side.'
'Which floor?' Percy asked.
Merlin tucked the Glock into the back of his trousers. 'Fifty third.'
Arthur looked to their final member. 'Elyan-'
'I know. Staircase.'
'Is Gwen still . . .' Merlin started, unsure of how he should word it.
'She's recovering from the shock,' Elyan answered helpfully. 'She was always closer to dad than me.'
'Everyone's earpieces working?' Arthur checked and received a chorus of 'yes's.
Kilgharrah joined their cluster on the pavement. 'The armed defence units will be waiting at all exits, just in case. If you haven't contacted them by three they'll move in, so you've got an hour to try negotiation.'
'Why aren't they taking control of this operation? Gwaine inquired, shooting a wary glance at the last few officers who began to split off to their zones, guns in hand.
'Because you're the best we have,' Kilgharrah remarked, his age wiped away with the impressive memory of the warrior he used to be. 'Now go prove it.'
'It's been an honour,' Arthur addressed them all and silent words passed from one to the other. Everyone departed but Merlin held back.
'What if I'm not strong enough?' he asked the DCI, the fear bright and alive in his eyes.
'Merlin,' Arthur beckoned at the building's entrance.
'The magic has only ever happened by accident or emotionally or pure luck,' he rushed, acutely aware of the danger and severity of what he was about to voluntarily enter into.
'Emrys,' Kilgharrah said and Merlin felt a jolt. A ripple that ran through the heat in his blood like an earthquake. 'You'll be the strongest of them all.'