Chapter Thirty

Bella

Over the next few weeks Edward did all he could to amuse me and he was very good at it. We went to see the Trondheim Symphony Orchestra, we went for walks, watched movies, took a boat out, cooked extravagant meals and I even tried a little cross-country skiing although I wasn't very good and he almost had to carry me home after I fell and twisted my ankle again. His cold hands on the swelling that evening brought back painful memories and that night I cried myself to sleep again. Norway was nice but I missed home and eventually I asked Edward if it was safe to go back. What he told me found my world falling apart,

"Bella he should have told you it will never be safe to go home. Not only will you be putting yourself at risk but everyone who knows you, especially Charlie."

"I can never go home?"

"No Bella but I'll take you anywhere you'd like to go. There must be lots of places you've dreamed of seeing. We could go anywhere."

Stupidly I couldn't think of anywhere I wanted to go so in the end I left it to Edward who had travelled the world since becoming a vampire. We flew to Vienna which was a beautiful city but I hated the musical evenings he took me to, classical music had never been my thing and after the sixth concert I baulked.

"I thought you'd come just for me Bella."

He sounded really upset so I went and zoned out while he listened to the music and longed for the normality of home, Charlie, and school, not to mention a sight, just a glimpse, of Jasper Hale.

Edward tried to make up to me for the concerts with sightseeing tours of interesting places like St Stephens Cathedral which was grand Gothic, or so I was informed.

I was relieved when we left Vienna for London, the museums and theatres were wonderful and I enjoyed seeing the places I'd read about or seen on TV back home, Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, the Tower of London, Tower Bridge. They were all exciting but for all he did for me I couldn't reciprocate Edwards feelings which were becoming more obvious every week. I liked him, he was interesting and knowledgeable but he wasn't Jasper. That was an obstacle I couldn't get past and slowly I think he started to see it for himself.

We went from London to Paris, the city of love as he put it, but boat trips down the Seine and tours of Notre Dame Cathedral did nothing to make me love him.

"Bella, you do know you'll never see him again. You were just a job to him. Let me make you happy, I can if you'll only let me in."

I tried, really I did, but the spark just wasn't there and I couldn't fake it.

In Amsterdam things started to come to a head, he took me to the Cat Cabinet, a museum tracing the role of cats in Art and Culture, which went down like a lead balloon as I hate cats! He hired a barge and took me out into the countryside. It was flat but had its own beauty and one night as I lay awake, tears wetting my pillow, the door opened and he came in to my bedroom. I tensed as he sat beside me and put his arm around my shaking shoulder.

"Bella you have to stop this. You can't spend your whole life crying over something that can never be."

He bent his head and kissed me on the lips very gently but when I didn't respond he did it again more urgently and I tried to pull away but the room was so tiny I had nowhere to go.

"Edward No, please"

I pushed him away or at least attempted to,

"You know how I feel about you Bella. Why won't you try with me? We could be happy together I know, if you just stopped thinking about him."

"I can't Edward, I'm sorry but I just don't feel the same way about you."

"Give it time Bella. Open yourself up to me."

I shook my head still crying and I heard his soft curse, then he tilted my head to look into my eyes.

"Bella I didn't want to tell you this but you leave me no choice. Jasper Hale married Alice Cullen a month ago."

My heart shattered into a thousand pieces, I'd been right. There was something between them, he told me they were just friends I told Edward and he looked even more grave.

"Did he tell you that? I'm so sorry Bella. It was his way of getting your focus from her as a rival and to cover his mistakes in letting you into danger."

I couldn't speak for my misery and for the next week I stayed in my bedroom only coming out to use the toilet or throw up over the side. He kept tempting me with food and drinks and in the end I started to eat just to make him happy.

Once I was coherent and eating we moved on, Reykjavík in Iceland which again was beautiful, especially the Gullfoss, Golden Waterfall and the Perlan restaurant with its domed revolving restaurant which enabled me to see to see entire city as it revolved. Edward took me to see the spectacular geysers and hot springs but nothing took my interest and he started to get short-tempered with me.

"Bella, I'm showing you the wonders of the planet and you just look without even reacting. You need to pull yourself together."

He pulled me into an embrace and I could feel that he was excited. I pulled away, horror on my face and he saw it.

"What's the matter? You should be flattered I feel that way about you. You're a very desirable woman and you know how I feel, why wont you let yourself love me back?"

The L word had never been mentioned until now and my eyes went wide.

"What? He said, "You thought I was with you because I like country hopping? I love you Bella and I want you to love me back."

I fled to my hotel room and locked myself into the bathroom, sitting on the toilet and hyperventilating. Edward wanted me sexually but he did nothing for me in that way. Why couldn't he see that? As a friend he was good, I was grateful for all he'd done to keep me safe but I didn't love him or even desire him. What was I supposed to do now? How could Jasper and Peter leave me in this predicament? I had to speak to someone but who? I picked up the receiver in the bathroom, I'd never quite got the hang of phones in hotels in such strange places but I thanked it now. Struggling to remember the number I rang Billy's. At first I thought no one was there then he answered.

" Jake?" I whispered.

"Bella?"Where are you? We're all worried sick"

"Jake I need you to do something for me please. Get a message to Peter or Charlotte Whitlock and ask them to come get me."

"Just come home Bella, who's stopping you? What about Jasper?"

I heard Edward coming and knew I had very little time

"Jake I'm in Iceland but not for long. Jake ask them if I can come home, Edward won't let me and Jasper's gone off with Alice..."

"Where? Make sense Bella? Where are you?"

"Help Jake, speak to Peter or someone for me..."

Then the phone went dead.