Warnings: The second half contains a masturbation scene and a single choice word.

The day was not at all going how he had planned it and Pearl was becoming increasingly worried that he wasn't going to be able to keep himself under control around Diamond. His conscious was like a puppy running around his head, chasing the beautiflies fluttering about his ribcage. His thoughts were coming in short repetitive conglomerates of compliments he was too nervous to say to Diamond. Everything about him was a wreck but Diamond only saw him coolly standing before him, wishing more than anything that he knew what had him so uneasy today.

"So, did you still want to get lunch or no…?"

"Huh? Oh, sure sure," he shook his head, snapping to attention. "My place or yours?"

He let out a nervous laugh, his cheeks heating up slightly. "Whichever you'd prefer, if you're still up to it. I mean, if you'd like to go home I'd understand…"

"No! I'll come with you, it's fine!" He tried to assure him. "But if we go to my place we're having sandwiches since I can't cook a decent meal." He laughed dryly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Let's go home then, I'll cook for you," he smiled, shaking his head bemusedly.

He half smiled back as they started toward Twinleaf. Diamond was walking next to him closely, their arms brushing, and he felt self conscious like every thought could be heard or read from his face without his control. He was blushing lightly still from the hug and the autumn breeze felt nice against his flushed cheeks. They continued on in silence, nearing the entrance to Twinleaf where Pearl looked back over at his friend for him to lead.

After an awkward moment of hesitation, Diamond began walking, leading the way to his house in the corner of town. They were the same houses and the same trees like nothing had changed at all since they had left. He pointed out Pearl's house as they passed it like one might if they were driving past an old vacation spot, reliving a memory with childish enthusiasm like it was the first time. They laughed about it, pointing out the other neighbors' houses and reliving memories of their childhood as they walked.

At last they reached his home and Diamond let out a sigh, swaying slightly like he was unsure of how to proceed. It didn't look unlike the other houses in town but this one was his. This was his home, even after being gone for so long with no stability or predictability about his travels he still had a home to go back to.

Pearl entered the house first, kicking off is shoes before seating himself in the kitchen. Diamond followed behind shortly after, placing his jacket on the back of one the chairs at the table as he looked around reminiscently. Everything looked just as it had when he left and Pearl was even in the same seat he always picked whenever he was over. Pursing his lips he looked at the grocery list on the freezer door, mostly breakfast foods were listed with an array of snacks he knew his mother didn't eat. Aside from what the list told him wasn't in the house, Diamond had no idea what was in the house to make and he feverishly began opening and closing drawers and cabinets. Diamond darted all over the kitchen in frustration at the lack of food. What he didn't know was that his mother really should have more on the grocery list than was listed. He pinched the bridge of his nose trying to think of what he could do with the things he had. Pearl was sitting at the table, watching him no doubt, as he tried to think of a solution. He was very happy to be with Pearl again and despite whatever one might call their incident earlier everything felt normal between them.

"You ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine. There's just hardly any food here. I could make a quick soup I suppose, there's not a lot to work with though," he sighed rechecking all the cabinets.

"It's fine, anything you make will be great," he waved a hand disarmingly.

Diamond smiled to himself a bit halfheartedly as he began pulling various things from the fridge and cabinets. Pearl meanwhile fidgeted about his seat. Calm as he was on the outside, his breathing far too even to match the erratically pronounced palpitations of his heart that came with the mere sound of his friend's voice. He tugged on his pant legs trying to adjust them more comfortably as he was at last feeling the throbbing subside. As much as he couldn't believe that he had gotten aroused by that, he wasn't at all surprised.

He strummed his fingers on the table as Diamond cooked; an arm propped up to support the weight of his head. The silence was slowly but surely getting to him as were his thoughts. He felt bored waiting for the soup and was trying to keep from staring, not that he could help it much. He started zoning out, the only thing he was aware of was that he could see the top of Diamond's boxers from the way his pants fell about his hips and that his face felt blistering hot.

After what felt like an hour he rose to look over the boy's shoulder.

"Hello," he said happily, smiling over at Pearl while he stirred the pot.

Pearl said nothing, instead he spun Diamond around and cradling his face in his hands he pulled him into a kiss. Everything he couldn't say and everything he needed to say he put into that kiss, and as their lips moved against each other he felt what Diamond had been feeling all along. He never loved anyone like this, never wanted to touch someone so sensually, it felt like he was on fire. It was almost animalistic, so frantic after years of waiting and before they knew it their clothes were slipping away. Diamond kept murmuring his name but he couldn't hear it over his heart pounding wildly in his ears. Pearl… Pearl… Pearl…

"Pearl?"

"Y-Yes?" He blinked, barely aware of where he was.

"Are you ok?" He rubbed his shoulder a bit, a concerned look on his face from where he was sitting next to him.

Pearl looked around confusedly. He was at the table with Diamond and a bowl of soup. He looked down at the bowl, steam hitting him in the face with delectable vapors of flavor and his stomach grumbled audibly.

"You fell asleep, but here your soup is ready." Diamond put the spoon in his hand. His hand lingered to stroke it soothingly, but the contact was too much for the still dazed blonde.

"…No." He said breathily. "I have to go home. I just…" He stammered, rising to reveal that yet again he had a nice protrusion from his jeans which felt more unbearable now that Diamond was touching him. Diamond looked at him confusedly, uneasy but unwavering. Pearl downed the soup without bothering to use the spoon, wiping his mouth quickly before practically running for the door. "Thank you, I'll call you. Later."

"Fuck," Pearl groaned. The boy lay on his bed, pants pulled partly down, as far as he could get them with little effort. He leisurely stroked himself as he tried to organize his thoughts. Everything about today made him question his sanity. He hated that he had to run from his lunch date with Diamond because he had wanted to stay.

Since they were much younger Pearl could remember having feelings for Diamond. Everything he remembered from his childhood revolved around Diamond. Whether or not he had feelings for him, acting on them and denying them, stolen glances and secret fantasies he only entertained in the most sacred crevices of his conscious. Diamond was everything to him and he wanted to be all the things he thought he was. He wanted to be cool, to always know what to do. He had tried to reject these feelings before but was again unsuccessful. What was it about him that he just couldn't resist? He tried so hard to convince himself that he was over Diamond because he knew he never felt the same. But still here he was as he had so many times found himself, fighting a losing battle against himself.

If his dream was any implication, the sexual frustration and desire to tell him, or show him, what he was feeling was as strong as ever. Some shameless flirting never hurt anyone he figured but how would Diamond react to it? He wanted to try, he wanted to show Diamond that he could love him better than anyone else, he could be the better lover or better anything if he'd let him. If only he would've noticed the way he looked at him, the way he always put him first and tried to so subtly hint or even unsubtly hint what he felt. He was so desperate for some recognition, for even a chance to prove himself.

He sat up, frustrated, and pulled his shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor. His legs lay awkwardly before him, trapped by the jeans that arrested them apart a given distance like handcuffs. Wiping his forehead under the fringes of his bangs with the back of his hand he fell back against his pillow once more. Two opposing forces chirped in his ears and he ignored them each for a moment, contenting himself to tend to his half revived arousal.

He panted as he pumped his hand, his muscles tensing under the teasing pressure of his sinuous hand. He felt himself relax instantly as he stopped worrying about the situation. Did you see those blue eyes? Ooh... He blushed to himself slightly, "He was just so- what's the word? Handsome? So grown up. A-And when he said my name… his voice…"

He felt his head spin from blood loss. He pumped harder, faster and his free hand gripped the sheets in desperation. It had been so long since his hand had had the pleasure of reconciling with his staff like this and it made him frantic with need. He thought about their bodies entwining, the winded gasps as they melted into each other. The visions were too vivid, like he could practically feel Diamond's body tensing around his aching appendage as his hand squeezed and pumped and jerked. He could hardly breathe as he felt himself nearing orgasm at the mere thought of touching or even looking at Diamond's virgin body, exposed and willing.

The bed bounced with recoil as his hips forced his hardness into his fervent hands. He twisted his head back and forth driving it back into the plush pillow as he gasped for the air to fill his lungs. Oh how many times had he found himself in this position, caught between the throes of desire and moralities?

As he fought with his conscious the springs of the bed braced themselves against the once timed rebounds of the blonde's thrusts. The muscles in his arm burned, begging to stop though he couldn't allow himself to stop now. He needed this, the release of tension perhaps in more ways than one. He couldn't quite understand anymore why his feelings ever felt wrong. The rejection, sure, but now he didn't care. He wondered why he had to deny himself the satisfaction he craved, practically needed to survive. He knew he could make Diamond happy if he let him and he wanted a chance to prove it. It hadn't worked out when they were kids but what about now? There were no distractions anymore, only them. Nothing- no one, to stand in his way of obtaining what he so desired. They had a blank slate now, and he was a brand new guy. It was invigorating, inspiring. He wouldn't know until he tried, and that's exactly what he planned to do. He didn't know how but if it killed him he was going to make sure Diamond knew exactly how he felt, Even if he doesn't feel the same.

As suffocating as his rampant emotions which he had denied for so long were, his head was swimming in lust and too far under to hear the protests any longer. He released with a muffled moan into his hand. He shuddered with the aftershocks of orgasm, a throaty groan as he laid a sweaty mess on his bed.

"I love him…"