Olivia sat in their office. She pulled up Fitz's computer. His screen saver was her. His background was her. He was her everything. Now she had to be his.
She got her Macbook and begin to set it up. It made her think of something. She called Huck. The man never slept it seemed.
Huck answered on the second ring, "What's up Liv."
"Hi Huck. I need a favor"
"Anything"
"I need you to email the voice mails and the video that Jake sent to Fitz. I also need the details on each one of his suicide attempts, and before you lie to protect me I already over heard our moms talking to him on my birthday about it. I know you are the only one who knows other than them."
"Okay. Is he okay Liv?"
"He wants to be for me."
"I'll send you everything and it will only take a minute to reach you because I have everything in one file, but I'll only send it to you on one condition."
"What is that Huck?"
"That it won't set you back. He promised me that when he got you to see Dr. Sherry that he would see her too. You are his everything and it would break him if you started having major problems again."
Olivia sighed, "I promise I'll be fine. I won't be if I don't help him. I need him to understand my love can heal him just like his has helped heal my wounds, but I need to know what happened. I can't hide from this. He didn't hide."
"Okay Liv. I sent it. Please don't make me regret this."
"You wont"
The call ended. Olivia went and fixed a glass of wine and grabbed her headphones. She listened to each one of the voice mails. She didn't recall any one voicemail, but she seen where Huck noted that he thought certain areas he thought were edited her saying things and put it together. She remembered saying somethings. Jake would often get her drunk and get her riled up and record her.
She pulled up the video. She would never forget that night. Jake came in the house mad. Some deal had fallen through. He was drunk but functional. He slapped her and told her to get out of his face. Later that evening he came in the room with a video camera and a paper with a long statement.
He gave her two choices; read what he wrote and make it sound convincing or he would beat her till he was tired. She took the paper and read it and looked up at him. He had a smirk on his face. "Just in case you try to leave I'll send it to him and let him think this is how you felt about him."
Jake throwing Fitz in her face made her angry enough to spit. It made it easy to read the statement. The venom was there. It was real. It just wasn't directed at Fitz but Jake. Looking at it convinced her she meant it even though she knew the circumstances.
She opened up Fitz's record. The first three attempts were using alcohol and sleeping pills. The fourth which was after he received the video he went to their house in the Hampton's. They spent time there every summer since high school. A week just them and their friends and then a week with their moms where the four of them would do family activities. He took close to a full bottle of ambien, he drank a lot of alcohol, and then went and sat inside his car in the garage where carbon monoxide was building up. He would have succeeded but he left the video up in his room and Huck seen it when he came to check on him. He had put a tracker on Fitz's cars because they were concerned about his mental state which is how they found him so quickly.
He spent three weeks in the hospital. Jenny brought him home and she and her mom took care of him around the clock. Her mom called a therapist who was her friend who came to the house to see Fitz. He talked but when it came to her he shut down. His brain could not process anything that had to do with her.
Time helped Fitz move on as much as possible. He went on to Yale and studying and doing volunteer work helped him. He tried to hate Olivia, but he couldn't. When they decided to open up the firm he put all of his energy into the firm until she called.
As she finished reading she still didn't understand why he didn't hate her. Why when she called he never expressed anger? Was that day coming? She needed to know so she called her mom.
Maya answered, "Liv, it's late. Is everything okay?"
Olivia sighed, "No not really."
Maya sat up in bed, "What is it baby?"
"I heard you and ma talking to Fitz on my birthday. He didn't see me. I haven't told him I know about the suicide attempts or what Jake did to him. Huck sent me everything. I watched the video. I read about his recovery. What I don't understand is why he has never shown anger towards me? Do you think that will come down the road?"
Maya took a breath before speaking, "No Livvie. You'll never see Fitz angry with you. First of all Huck had already told him that he thought that you were forced to read the statement. He explained to Fitz that Jake probably did something to rile you up so that the anger was genuine. Next he made peace that being mad at you got him no where. He told us one day that he had a choice. He could wait for the love of his life and move on and let go of any anger he had or he could stay angry and settle for second best. Deep down he knew you were not happy. For awhile he would tell anyone who would listen. Then he stopped but we knew he still felt that way. Finally, he would never do anything that would set your recovery back. You heard him. Some men try to do right by their woman because it gets them plenty of sex, time to hang out with their guys, or to get something in return. They are few men like Fitz. It is one of the reasons I love him so much and especially for you. Fitz believes with all his heart God put him here to love you. Life meant nothing until you came back. You give him purpose and meaning baby. That man would walk the ends of the earth for you, and the only pay he wants is for you to be happy."
Olivia had long ago started crying. Maya allowed her time to take in everything that she said. She hoped that it would help.
Maya spoke, "Liv are you okay? Did what I say make any sense or help?"
Olivia responded, "It did mom. I have to go. Get some rest. I love you."
Maya knew she wasn't going to get anything else out of her daughter now, "I love you too. Call me later."
Olivia ended the call. She thought about everything her mother said. For the first time she really thought about Fitz. From the first time they met the instantly clicked. They had so much in common including pain. Olivia missed her dad to some extent but he was never around. Being a doctor was more important than family. He thought money made everything right. Fitz's dad lived off power and money. His mother however thought money was only good if you remembered that it could be gone tomorrow. She was never disrespectful to people who had less than her. Her mom was the same way.
When they got to college Olivia got so comfortable with Fitz being her friend that she never wanted to chance him not being in her life. She played it safe and lost.
Olivia got up and filled her wine glass. She sat in the living room. She had her phone and she began to look at pictures of them. She could see how happy they were together. For the first time she became angry at Jake. It was one thing to abuse her and to manipulate her, but what he did to Fitz was unforgivable. She would make him pay. She wasn't sure how but she would think of something. In the meantime she had to fix them.
All Olivia could think about was how close she came to losing him. He had given up. He was lost. That scared her. Olivia was so deep in thought that she did not hear Fitz come in the room.
Fitz had watched her for a couple of minutes. She was deep in thought. He was curious to what was going on considering they had no major case going on at the moment.
Fitz walked in the room and sat down across from her. They looked at each other. As Olivia looked at him she had to fix this. He couldn't be the only one holding them up.
Fitz asked, "Are you okay? Something seems to be bothering you."
Olivia nodded. She decided to see how honest he was going to be with her, "Something is bothering me. Do you feel up to talking?"
"Yes, I am fine. Let's talk"
"Ok, after we went our separate ways did you ever try to commit suicide?"
Fitz stopped and looked at her. He never wanted to be one of those men that lied to his woman so he decided to be honest, "Yes I did."
"Was it more than once?
"Yes"
"Did Jake have anything to do with it?"
Fitz looked up. He had a feeling she found out. "Yes, but I get the feeling you knew this already, correct?"
"Yes, but I needed to make sure that the kid gloves remained off and you were still being honest with me."
"I promised I would. So I take it you know. How did you find out?"
"On my birthday I heard you talking to our moms. That was the real reason I got sick."
Fitz jumped up. He couldn't believe that she didn't say anything. He ruined her day. How could he be so stupid?
Olivia got up and went over to him. She grabbed his hands and pulled him back over to the couch.
Olivia smiled, "Nothing was ruined. It was still a great day. It was still the best birthday ever. It was a shocking moment, but that's just it. It was a moment."
"I'm sorry Olivia. That is not how I wanted you to find out. I was going to tell you. Our moms were right you had a right to know."
Olivia nodded, "I know. I didn't discuss it in Florida because one I wasn't going to let Jake ruin another moment for us and two I needed time to sort through my emotions before we talked.
Fitz nodded, "I understand"
Olivia said, "I need you to listen to me and not interrupt, okay?"
Fitz nodded
Olivia began, "Huck was right. Jake in a way forced me to make the video. He gave me the option to get beat or record the video. The reason the anger felt so real is because it was. It just wasn't at you. When he handed me the statement he wrote he laughed and said that for when I was stupid enough to try to leave he would send you the video so you would hate me. I had no idea it was his intent to send the video the whole time. I don't recall any of those voice mails. He would get me drunk and angry and I would say things. The fact that I have caused you so much pain and yet you fought through it not only for yourself but for me shows me the type of man that you are. I wish that I had been brave enough to know that you would have never let anything happen to us, and if by the off-chance we didn't work out we could remain friends. I was scared. My dad was never around. He always threw money at us to try to keep us happy. I didn't know how a real man treats a woman. I didn't know until 10 months ago. Without a doubt I am in love with you. Honestly I fell more in love with you in the last couple of days. Your love for me is something I wished others could see and feel. You work so hard to make me better. Now it is your turn. I can't continue down this road of happiness and peace unless you are with me. It frightens me to read and know how close I was to never getting this with you. While we both say that Jake has no say in our relationship we have given him power over us and it needs to stop. I need you to love me without fear. If you are rough with me like you were in that shower know I want it. I know the difference between rough love and rough hate. You have forgiven me and now I need you to forgive yourself. Not only do I want a life with you I need a life with you. I need the love you give me every minute of every day for the rest of my life. We can't forget about Jake, but a time will come and we will make him pay. Until then we get him back by showing him that he didn't win. He didn't ruin us he strengthened us."
Olivia climbed on Fitz's lap and she just held him. She let him sob. She let him feel his pain. She allowed him time to understand that he was still the man in this relationship, but that he had feelings. The whole time he cried she just kept whispering she loved him in his ear over and over. He held her.
Fitz no longer felt the need to be so strong. He felt comfortable admitting that he was weak. He never wanted her to see him as that. However as she held him he didn't feel weak. He felt loved and understood.
Fitz didn't let go of her as he spoke, "It hurt to hear your voice. It felt lie you were taunting me. The video was the last straw. I snapped. It wasn't out of anger at you. It was because of the loss of you. In that moment as I watched that video over and over I felt you slip out of my reach. I guess up until that point I always felt you were within reach. When I lost that I saw no hope to stay around. It was hard at first. The hospital recovery. Our moms watching over me. The counseling most thought was a failure, but it wasn't. It allowed me to move on without you, but still keep you close to my heart. I tried to hate you but I couldn't. For the longest I was angry. I was frustrated that you didn't trust us enough. Finally I let it all go. It go me no where. The only way I could live is with the thought that someday we would get it right. We would at least find our way back to each other and become best friends again.
Olivia moved so they were now looking at each other, "So you would have accepted remaining friends with me even though you wanted more."
"Yes, because at the end of the day I just needed you to be happy and deep down I felt that wherever you were you were not."
"That is why you got so mad when I went to Hawaii."
"I accepted that you need to take the trip and spend time with yourself. I just hated that I felt you had no wish to fix us."
"I wanted to. I just didn't know how. I knew that I could accept whatever the others gave me including my mom. If they rejected me I could accept it, but if you rejected me I knew it would kill me."
"Ditto"
"Fitz, I'm so angry with him. He has to pay at some point."
"We'll think of something. Until then like you said we move him out of our lives."
"Good, can you take me to bed and make love to me in our home. We have another day before we have to return to work"
"With pleasure."
Fitz picked Olivia up and took her into their bedroom where they made love until the wee hours of the morning.
The next couple of weeks had been busy for Fitz & Olivia. The office in D.C. had several open cases and Olivia & Fitz had taken on two long-term clients. One was based out of California. There were a tech company that offered cloud management. They needed help with building their brand and the co-owners were concerned with a couple of executive who may be trying to steal information to sell. The other company was based out of Oregon. They were an up and coming social networking site that bridged business together. They had to proprietary issues they wanted them to handle.
They were working hard to get the office and their home finished. Lauren had proven to be invaluable and took on a lot for Fitz & Olivia without them asking. She made sure they kept up with their schedules with them working on cases for two offices. She would often drop snacks and lunch at Olivia's desk since she was known to forget to eat. Fitz loved that.
They were also preparing their home for Thanksgiving. They decided that since they would be in California next year they wanted to all have dinner together this year. Since it was the first one with Olivia back they were all excited. No one more than Olivia.
Olivia was slowly getting over fixing dinner. She wanted to cook with her moms this year. Jenny & Maya had purchased all the food so Olivia wouldn't have to worry about that. Abby was baking all the cakes.
The Wednesday before Thanksgiving Olivia only worked a half day. She went home and began to prep food. Their moms got there and the women spent the afternoon and evening in the kitchen. It felt like old times only better. Pransome sat in his bed that Olivia moved near the kitchen door.
Fitz didn't get home till close to nine. He made it to the kitchen to see the three of them laughing. It was a sight to see and made this tiring day worth it. Olivia felt his presence in the room. She seen him and ran around and jumped in his arms and kissed him.
Fitz was shocked. She hadn't really been a PDA type until recently. He held her. She always felt safe in his arms.
He finally put her down and greeted his moms. Olivia had left the room. She came back and told Fitz that she started him a bath. She asked if he was hungry. He told her he was.
They had cooked a lasagna for dinner so she told him that they would wait for him before they sat down to eat. He left the room to enjoy his bath.
Olivia turned around to see her moms smiling at her, "What"
They laughed, "Nothing dear. We just never seen this domesticated Olivia. It's endearing."
Olivia laughed and looked at Jenny, "Ma you always told me that you career is important but never forget about your man."
Jenny smiled, "I did."
Olivia laughed, "I listened"
"Good"
"Did you guys talk about um him?"
Olivia nodded, "We did. It is in its proper place and we are really working on moving forward and not giving Jake any more say over us."
"Good because it is what you both deserved. You both have suffered enough to last a life time. Now the good times can begin."
"I hope so."
"We never asked and I hope that neither of us as your mom are overstepping our bounds, but do you want kids?"
"We do and sooner than later before you ask."
Maya smiled, "Good. I always saw you as this supermom. Kid on your hip and running your own firm. I'm proud of you. I'm glad that you understand the importance of family and that money doesn't keep it together. Love and respect does."
Olivia smiled, "Thanks but I learned that from you and Ma."
Fitz came in the kitchen and wrapped his arm around Olivia. She enjoyed him holding her. This was the best part of any day. When they came home from work and they just relaxed.
They all went and set the table. Olivia grabbed a bottle of wine. Maya grabbed the salad and the lasagna. Jenny grabbed the plates and forks.
They sat down and enjoyed their meal. They talked about everything. There was still a couple of things that Olivia wanted to finish before bed. After they cleaned the kitchen she sent everyone to their rooms to relax and wind down especially Fitz. Pransome went with his daddy.
Olivia finished up in the kitchen. She went to their bedroom where Fitz was asleep and Pransome was curled up in his lap. Olivia went and took a shower and put on her pajamas and climbed in the bed. Pransome moved to the foot of the bed. Fitz opened his arms so Olivia could scoot in and they went to sleep.
A/N-Thanksgiving and the beginnings of Christmas is up next.