Prompt #28: Despair

A/N: This is a fic that takes place between Shadow's first death (at the Tower of Flames) and when Shadow was brought back and had his conversation with Zelda. Just pretend that that is actually possible. I don't know, pretend that Vaati got pissed and killed him as punishment after this fic, which lead to his convo with Zelda.

Humans ruin everything they lay their filthy hands on.

That was one the first things Shadow had been taught when Ganon had pulled him from the mirror, all those years ago. You can't trust the Hylians. You give them a rock, they'll beat you with it. You look slightly different from them, they'll chase you into distant lands and deny your people food, water and other things required to survive. He didn't have any evidence to support it, but Shadow listened then. He finally understood what Ganon meant now. Shadow finally knew just how heartless the people who dwelled in the light truly were.

Shadow watched the four 'heroes' from a distance. He felt bitter and angry. He was walking on thin ice with both Vaati and Ganon after his failure – not only had he been so easily deceived, but the heroes had all the Four Swords, charged and ready for action. It was humiliating and painful. But someone had to be punished. So, Shadow needed to find a way to make this right, before Ganon finally is powerful enough to enact said punishment.

The Four Heroes were happy. Ecstatic even. Even Vio, the most reserved (and cruel) of the group, seemed to embrace the celebrations of the others – he laughed lightly, all pretty smiles and kind eyes. Red had managed to drag Blue into a clumsy dance while Green played a playful melody on a flute he must have gained on his journey. Shadow only burned at the scene before him. They were celebrating their first big victory – his 'death'. They were on step closer to saving their uptight princess, and freeing their precious world from the darkness.

There was some satisfaction to found in the situation, however. Surprisingly, it came from Vio. Though he clearly joined with the others, every once and awhile the smile would fade and he'd examine the area around him. He was the smart one. Of course he'd figure out that Shadow wasn't really dead. Shadow felt a little proud that he'd managed to unnerve the detached hero in purple.

Oh, he really wanted to give Vio a reason to be afraid. But he knew he'd never be able to get much closer with other three around. They'd just kill him again. And then the rest of them would be aware that he could be brought back (which brought up another question about Vio… semmed like he wanted to keep secrets from everyone). If Shadow wanted to make a move, he'd have to wary about how he played it.

And then Vio surprised him.

He stood up, dusted himself off and said something to Green. The melody paused for a moment, as Green nodded, before it started up again. Blue and Red didn't notice of even acknowledge the slight hitch, they just continued their little dance (Shadow saw the reluctant act Blue pulled at the beginning, but now he seemed almost… at peace? Shadow couldn't properly tell at this distance, but the blue-clad boy definitely wasn't resisting anymore). Vio walked away from the group, disappearing in the trees.

He had left his sword behind. His bow was the only thing he had taken to defend himself.

Like a moth to a flame, Shadow followed. He could take on Vio – the others wouldn't be able to get there in time and Shadow was stronger. He had a wide range of dark powers at his disposal. Vio's bow wouldn't be able to cause him any real harm. He could just lose his corporeal body, rendering any non-magical weapon useless. And Ganon would be please if he returned to inform him that the heroes had lost their most intelligent member.

Yet every part of Shadow screamed in rebellion.

Shadow wasn't a traitor.

Shadow refused to be a traitor.

So why did the idea of causing any harm to Vio make him feel cold? He should want revenge. He should want to him to hurt like nothing else. But his emotions refused to cooperate with him. They protested against harm coming to the violet hero. They – he – didn't want to make it physical. He wanted to scream until he lost his voice. But he didn't want to kill him.

Then he really was a moth, and Vio really was a flame. It was the same thing really. Because if he desired Vio, he desired death. Vio had a power over him that he would never be able to break free from. No matter how much the fire burned, he'd still be drawn to it until he was consumed by the flames, and heat, and light. The hero would be his destruction, and not in the way they it was meant to be.

Shadow stalked the hero through the forest. The moon was the only source of light, flickering through the trees, occasionally chasing away the darkness that threatened to consume the hero who ran to an unknown destination. Vio only slowed when he was at a good distance from his teammates, nearing a clearing (one that certainly brought back memories for Shadow, despite it being a different one from the one he recalled). The hero turned to address the darkness around him.

"I know you're here" Vio called, "Show yourself!"

Usually, he'd release a wicked laugh before appearing out of nowhere. But that didn't feel appropriate at the moment. Shadow was tempted to just give Vio the silent treatment; leave him to simmer until he was begging for the other to make an appearance. But curiosity plagued him. What did Vio want? He knew he was here, so obviously he wanted to talk… but why? He was pretty sure they'd said all they needed to.

Her materialized himself leaning against a tree, "Nothing gets past you, huh? I would call you clever, but seeing how you were stupid enough to approach your enemy alone and unarmed, I think it's a bit of a stretch."

"I see no need to arm myself when I'm not in any danger."

Shadow snarled at that, feeling his form change without him needing to force it. Claws replaced his hands, fangs replaced his teeth and his eyes glowed crimson with hatred. He grabbed Vio, a claw resting against his cheek – threatening, but not cuttings – as his other hand clamped down on a violet shoulder. They were close now, but Vio didn't even flinch.

"I could kill you. Right here, right now. If I am for your lungs or throat, you wouldn't even be able to call out for help. Not that it would do you any good with the distance you foolishly placed between yourself and your allies. You put yourself in a dangerous situation, Vio. Don't forget it."

Vio wasn't fazed, "If you wanted to kill me, you would have done it while I was walking through the woods."

"You think you know everything. That's what will get you killed" Shadow released him, "It's nice to see I'm not the only one you lie to. I wonder how your true friends feel about secrets?"

"Since you're hardly a threat anymore, I highly doubt it would be wise to cause them needless concern. And I needed them to be relaxed to have a chance to talk with you" he answered.

"So you manipulate them as well. I'm starting feel like there wasn't anything special about our relationship" Shadow sneered.

"My apologies. Would you like my pity?"

Shadow growled at the remark. While he knew where to strike to hurt Vio (at least he hoped he did… how much was truth when it came to Vio?), Vio clearly knew where to strike back. He wanted to snap back some snarky remark, but thought better against it. The man in front of him would come up something just as sharp. Didn't stop him from letting his eyes show just what he wanted to say.

There was a stare down between the two of them for a while. Neither one of them wanted to back down, too much boiled between them to allow them to show a moment of weakness. Shadow could feel his skin buzz, ready to morph its shape into something else. Vio just seemed cold, cruel and powerful – like a force of nature. He was a violent blizzard that could tear one apart with his words alone.

Vio was the first one to speak after that, expression softening a fraction, "It wasn't meant to go that far. At first, it was to avoid certain death. Then just to gather information. It wasn't meant to be that cruel."

"Your lack of apology is not accepted" Shadow retorted, "Though that coming from you, that was like you spilling your heart out. Unless you were just lying to manipulate me further."

"Just wanted to make myself clear" Vio's glare hardened, "That's all."

Vio attempted to leave but Shadow grabbed his arm, "Sorry, but you started this conversation. So, until I say it's over, you have to put up with me."

"I've said all I need to say" there wasn't much of a struggle.

"Well, I haven't said half of what I needed to say" Shadow replied.

"Then say it."

"I hate you."

Even Vio could feel how thick the air had gotten. Shadow felt himself shake with everything that he had felt since he'd been brought back – anger, hatred, betrayal, sadness, misery, pain. Everything ran through him and he couldn't stop shaking. He knew his form was changing. Vio's expression revealed that much at least.

He knew he should leave. He couldn't stay here any longer.

It was all too much. He needed to let it all go.

Vio nodded, "You have a right to. I'm sorry."

Something inside Shadow broke.

"I loved you, you know. I can't stop it and I hate it. I love you, and it'll be the death of me. But I do love you, and heart break it a bitch."

Vio's face showed too much emotion – too much guilt and regret– to belong to an enemy, "Shadow…"

Shadow let himself fade into the darkness.