Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Chapter 8: Isabella Swan: Official Screw Up

Bella's POV

I disposed of the evidence all except for Jasper's picture. A normal teen would have a picture of her boyfriend in her wallet or on her. I had noticed that over the years when I was searching bodies for evidence of guilt. It was good for finding witnesses, too.

I should have disposed of the evidence earlier but I forgot. It was done no use thinking about it, anymore.

I cannot believe that happened to me. Jasper Hale, one of those Cullens talked to me right away in the airport. That Alice must have had something to do with him being there to shake me up.

What was he doing, scaring me like that? I was not to meet with any of the Cullens until later, tonight. Tonight. I would not have thought them to send Jasper to greet me. Moreover, I could do nothing to him. He could have…could have… well, I am not sure but he might have done something.

What could he have done in an airport? There were cameras everywhere but he was not a young vampire. He was not some crazy that wanted to get a rise out of me. What was his plan?

His words. His words had made me change my plans so quickly.

Ok, down girl, I told myself. Venom was already starting to pool in my mouth. What a mouth watering hot guy. Definitely, hot. I might put his picture up, masturbate to it, and then hide it.

Hide it? Who am I a little girl? He was getting me to think of all sorts of strange things that I normally don't do with pictures of men. He was not someone to lose my mind over in any manner.

She traced over his picture with her fingers. "Jasper."

"What was that?"

"Just a pin pal. Jasper Hale. I was hoping to met with him."

"Someone has a crush."

"Dad. He is only pin pal."

"Not the way I see it. Invite me to the wedding."

"Dad."

Damit he saw the picture. Pin pal? Do people even do that now-a-days? No matter. My dad bought the story.

"All grown up I see. Soon, there will be no time for your dear old dad. Just, put me in file 13. I will be out of your way."

"It is not like that. He is cute. Ok, I said it. You have me saying it. Are you happy with yourself? I in no way want to get read of you."

"I know Bella. You seemed so quite. I wanted to connect or reconnect with you."

Bella thought about telling him everything was going to be ok. Sharing her feelings with him but there was someone in the Cullen mix of vampires that could read minds. Edward Cullen was a high priority code red. She needed to keep her thoughts to herself. She told herself to act like a teenager.

Now, Edward would find out that she thought Jasper was cute. Great. Ways to go Bella tell the world, she yelled at herself inside her head without trying to look crazy.

Bella's POV

Soon, my dad received a phone call from Phoenix. It was not the good kind of phone call.

I slipped up big-time. It turned out stealing that blood was not the brightest idea I have ever had in my un-life. No one ever accused me of being smart but I messed this life. I will have to live with it.

Of course, my dad held me accountable. I was sent back to Phoenix to go to juvenile court. Great, now I am a bad kid, horrible daughter, and a danger to blood banks everywhere.

If I stay Bella Swan, I could end up a writer. Everyone loves a hard-luck case. I can only imagine how my life will read.

Isabella Swan loving daughter until she lost control one day. Yes, at the early age of 17 she hit rock bottom. After, an estrange stint in prison Isabella went on to write her memories which lead her to be interviewed by Barbra Walters. That was when the world found out how tragic her life was really like in her first days of her own self-denial. The world first called her a selfish brat who never loved her mother or father. Then, they called her a real day vampire. Christian groups everywhere protested as Isabella plead her case.

I am sure Barbra Walters would call me a 'disturbed and confused little girl'.

Instead, the court made me do some community service but my mom was devastated. The hypocrite wanted me to earn back her trust. She had been a danger to everyone around her for years. I would not trust her with a stuffed animal yet alone my life.

My thoughts had been corrupted each day by Jasper Hale. I kept thinking about him.

Somehow, I was able to move back to Washington to be near my dad but I was put in a special school for 'that kind of bad kid.' I was one of them. Those kids talked about as future prisons, waiting for fate to take charge.

There were no schools like that in Fork, Washington. Surprised? I was not. It is too small to have one of those schools. However, fear not Seattle does: yeah me. I am so happy in there: note the sarcasm.

Mom suggested I go to make sure I never stole ever again. In addition, Dad was too much of a loser to speak up for himself. I hated my life. I was stuck days at first without feeding inside. Everyone was starting to look like prime rib.

Do not even ask how they took my blood or urine for testing. I do not want to relive that.

The only thing that made me not go into a blood rage was Jasper's picture. If I could sigh, I would. Every time, I see my Jasper. I mean Jasper Hale. What was I thinking? Darn it.

I will start, again. As I was staying. Every time, I see Jasper Hale my head clears up. My mind wonders to a place where we might be friends. I wonder what he would be doing today.

Back to my own life. The good news was that I was drug free. My body started to twitch a little without the blood so they thought I was going though withdraws. I even have a prescription to calm me down even though I do not say much. I cannot say much the bloodlust makes my speech slur. I am having trouble reading or even thinking strait.

I miss being a well-fed vampire. I am fast but I do not always get time to feed the correct way, which has me, breaking out in hot and cold sweats. I think it is the drugs. Tricky stuff. On the other hand, it could be the lack of blood.

In times when the bloodlust takes me, I think of Jasper's golden eyes. The eyes of an animal drinker. I doubt he would want me to kill everyone thereby exposing myself as a real vampire. He would want me to live. There I go again with thinking that he would ever be mine: he might not even care about me.

Soon, the school placed me in a hospital that led me staying in said hospital for days. I was under observation. I was so hungry. I know my human gist does not last too long without blood to fulfill it. Stupid humans. I was able to feed but not well enough to look healthy.

After, a month in that place I was placed in the custody of my dad. I was deathly pale by then and the doctors had not given me long to live. He had to get me a tutor the first week.

I started to hunt animals. They all tasted so good. Every animal. Going without for a long time had made me not that meticulous an eater.

Soon, I was able to think about going to a school that was not designed for juvenile prisoners. The Hospice nurses were surprised by my recovery. They still wanted to keep in touch with me.

Hospice nurses were referred to my family by my doctor. They had not expected me to live. The program helps the patient and the family accept dying at home. The program also helps to council the family after the death.

Dad always gives me sad expressions. I messed up. I know it. I wonder if he will ever trust me. I hate to see the way he looks at me. I just hate that look that he gives me.

I do not even think I will ever be good enough for Jasper. He does not need some screw up vampire to ogle him. Why had I even thought I had a chance to make him mine? What a fool. He would never want someone like me.

Normal POV

"I am sorry." Bella wanted to regain his trust giving him great memories of a daughter that was halfway normal.

Charlie had gone to too many overdosed teens calls to believe that his daughter was sorry. "You don't mean it. You're not sorry." He had not believed her words.

She had hurt his feelings. She could tell by the look on his face. "I am. I never meant to hurt you."

"Not me, Bella. You, you messed up your life. You are lucky that you are not over 18 years old young lady. I cannot even punish you for fear that you will go into a coma. Will you be safe at school? Will you find a drug dealer? Do I need to test you all the time for drugs? I can't even trust my own daughter to be alone."

"I am not that bad."

"You're not? I have to leave you with someone when I go to work, like some child. You are not a child. I do not have time to be late for cases. I can't believe your mother would thrust all this responsibility on me."

"I don't want to be around her in her honeymoon stage."

"Exactly, you don't want. What do you think I want? I want to help you but if you keep hiding your feelings behind your addiction and what you want I can't help you."

"It is not an addiction. I am not a drug addict."

"I saw the reports. Deathly pale looking. Skinny. You looked like death the day I brought you home from the hospital. If you really cared about your mother or me, you would stop hurting yourself. Think about what it is doing to us. You do not want help from us. Think about the people that care about you before you go off thinking that you are alone in this world."

Bella left for her room. Those words stung her. Had she really been thinking about herself the entire time? Every mission was about her? Every time, she felt hurt was it only about her? She never had to understand why the Volturi wanted someone dead: she made it happen. Selfish, maybe but Bella was not complaining. Who was her dad to change the rules?

She had evaluated each case she was given for years. Years. Not days. Years. He was making her doubt herself. Speaking of cases, she had one to complete.

Note: Juvenile detention centers are focused on rehabilitation not punishment. Although, I don't think someone in them would see it that way. I don't think Bella being a vampire would care to be placed in there.