Chapter 16

Severus took a seat beside Harry and took a deep, begrudging breath. How he loathed moments like these. Remus was right, he had pushed the man too hard. He of course would never tell Remus this though. He would never live it down. Severus sat there for several moments mumbling to himself as Harry started to get up.

"I'm...sorry…"

Harry stopped. He heard the words surely but never imagined the bitter man would ever utter such words. Surely they didn't exist in any dictionary Severus Snape would ever own.

"it isn't your fault...I failed and I deserve a bit of humiliation for it...I just need time to be alone for a bit..."

"Insufferable man! You're about nearly as over dramatic as your cousin when he sat in my classes. Did one thing wrong and took it like the world would end. Bloody idiot, him and Weasley always apportioning blame on another for their own mistakes then over reacting when you tell them they've done wrong. If you want to be any better than that idiot then I suggest you quit acting like a child. You are in a war. Whether you and your family like it or not. You can either cower away like the scum the Dursley's are known for, or rise up. That's all I will say on the matter. Good day Simon, I hope you choose the latter...truly..." Severus got up leaving a very surprised Harry to collect his thoughts.

Alone outside with only the sun for companionship, Harry let out a gasp. He cried. Everything that had happened to him, how he had to lose himself to be normal. How he had to change and watch everyone get along without him. He felt helpless. He didn't want to be here...in this house...with these people. People he knew, people he loved and people who would dare not speak his name. Harry held himself for a moment. He had dreamed of a day when his name could be spoken. How he missed Hermione and her wit, or Ron and his crazy plans that never work. They avoided him now. And he couldn't get close to them. He was a Dursley and they despised him for taking Harry's place.

"What a bloody spot of a mess I've turned up in" he sighed letting out all of the tension he had built up in just the time he'd been in this horrifying house. Severus' face flashed in his mind. "Ugh, now I'm thinking of that bloody git. Bad enough he's seen me naked."

Harry couldn't be angry with what he'd said. It was all-true. Harry changed his face and mannerisms but he was just as childlike as ever.

"I am a dunderhead…"

Harry got up and looked to the sky. He knew of only one thing that ever made him feel close to his father in times like these. Now Simon doesn't know how to fly. And how would the whole house take to him just up and flying in the air with a sudden natural ability. But he couldn't help the thought. Later that night, he would fly, when all were asleep.

Later that evening, Albus called everyone inside. Everyone gathered into the dining hall and there on the tables were a feast. Just as Harry remembered, there were pumpkin pasties that dressed the table with roast beef and bacon and steak, Yorkshire pudding peppermint humbugs and much more. Harry realized it was in fact identical to ones he'd seen before. He pretended not to recall and sat down with haste.

Members of the order and families as well as friends gathered to sit at this amazing feast. Amazing enough, as more people entered the room, the room itself expanded to let them in.

"Hello everyone and welcome. I would like to say it has been a trying time indeed, and we have lost a great deal of those we cherish. But I must ask you, to stay strong for we will prevail...in this I believe. Enjoy." As Albus took his place at the head of the table, he glanced at Harry and winked before Harry could look away...Does he know? Harry was beginning to feel paranoid.

"Not hungry I see?" Harry jumped; he hadn't noticed Severus had taken the seat next to him.

"Sorry, got lost in my own mind for a moment."

"I see...It's been my experience, men who've gotten lost in their own minds are never far from trouble…" Severus' words were always so cryptic, Harry thought.

"Excuse me Severus, I have been feeling ill. I think I'll go wash up and head to bed. Goodnight..."

Harry politely removed himself and rushed to his room as quickly and inconspicuously as he could muster. That food was identical to the first feast he ever ate at Hogwarts. It was all too much. Old friends, old food, old house...

Harry began packing his bags and hid them under his bed. In the dead of night, he would leave. He lay down in his bed and closed his eyes. After just a few moments, he drifted off into a nightmare …

There was a familiar house, his house he thought. He slowly walked through the door. All was dark; a mist began to uncurl through gaps in the doors. There was someone yelling in the next room over, something about a baby. "MOTHER!" Harry tried to break the door down; I can save her thought Harry. He charged at the door nearly removing his shoulder. Blood spilled into his hands. Harry knew it wasn't his own.

"MOTHER! I'M HERE! UNLOCK THE DOOR!" Harry charged again until he broke his shoulder. Blood filled the room and covered the floor. Before he knew it, it was waist high.

Unable to run through it, he tried finding his wand but it was gone. That's right, he'd left it with his own corpse. Harry tried wandless magic but nothing worked. Soon the room became so engulfed that he could barely breathe. He grabbed a nearby table lamp and smashed it through the door. The door burst open, and drained a wave of blood through to the other room. Harry fell to the floor but got up and rushed through the door. There, laying face down in a pool of blood, was her body. Harry filled with anguish sauntered over and gently took the body into his arms, but when he flipped her, a death-piercing scream was let out of Nymphadora Tonks own face.

Harry fell off his bed, drenched in sweat and tears. Only after a few fear stricken breathes did he realize he wasn't alone. Confused Harry got up and looked around. He was back at the house. Safe with people he knew wouldn't harm him. With a very startled looking potions master.

"Sev-...I-uh...Did I...Why are you here?" Harry proceeded lightly since he had no idea what he might have given away with his sleeping. He often had nightmares and said what he saw…

"What have they done to you?" Harry confused by the question saw for the first time, real remorse from Severus.