Title: Out of the Loop

Characters: Saotome Haruna and Kugimiya Madoka

Genre: General, I guess?

Rated: T, for hints of adult material.

Timeframe: Still Waters 3 Book 2, The morning of the third day of the festival.

Spoilers: Just for Madoka and Misa ever since Still Waters 2

"You!"

Madoka paused for a moment and looked up from the band application form Misa had forgotten to fill out a week ago only to see Haruna, standing in the doorway and pointing in her general direction. She looked around her to both sides, then back over at Haruna, who, she noted with trepidation, wore a calculating grin. "...me?"

"Yes you! Who else?" Haruna declared as she stepped into the small office currently assigned to the manager of the band stage, who looked stunned as he sat in his chair, his gaze going from Haruna to Madoka and back.

"Kugimiya-san, do you...know this woman?"

Madoka heaved a sigh as Haruna stalked over, and turned her attention back to the manager. "Unfortunately yes, I do. She's...an old friend," she said reluctantly. "Anyway, here is our form; thanks again for letting me fill it out so late. I'm sorry Misa forgot about it," she said, giving a slight bow.

The manager looked over the sheet of paper and shrugged. "Don't worry about it, Kugimiya-san. What would I do if the most popular band here wasn't allowed to play because of a mistake with the paperwork? In any case, this is all we need; I will be looking forward to your performance this afternoon," he said. Madoka said her goodbyes, and finally stepped outside with Haruna.

"So-"

"Are you busy?" Haruna asked. "This morning? Right now?" she said, getting far too close in Madoka's opinion. Madoka didn't really like the crazed look in her eye, either. One too many sugar and caffeine-fueled late night manga drawing sessions, no doubt.

"Er...not really, not right now, but-"

"Great!" Haruna said, grabbing her hand. "Come on! My assistant ran out on me and there's no time to waste!"

"W-wait!" Madoka said as Haruna set off down the sidewalk at a quick pace, dragging her along behind.

"There's no time to wait either!" Haruna said, barely taking the time to pause at an intersection before zipping across with Madoka in tow. Madoka narrowly managed to avoid a delivery truck, which beeped loudly at the two of them. Haruna didn't even seem to notice it.

"What do you mean? What are you even talking about?!"

Haruna looked back at her, grinning. "Something fun!"

Madoka glared.

Haruna grinned.

Madoka heaved a much-put-upon sigh. "So what you really wanted was help with selling your stuff at the doujin market? You dragged me here instead of band practice, where I'm supposed to be right now, since, you know, we have a really big show to play this afternoon, just to help you sell your freaking perverted comics? Seriously? Seriously?!"

Haruna shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much." She grinned.

Madoka glared at her.

Haruna gave her a thumbs up.

Madoka began to falter.

"See? It's not a problem! Just hang around here for a while and you'll see! Now come on, sit down and get comfortable while you can; they're about to open the doors."

Madoka gave her an odd look. "What are you talking about? And what is that rumbling sound...?" she asked, but Haruna was too busy making sure the strap on her combat helmet was tightened properly to give Madoka an answer. "Okay, seriously, what's up with the helmet?" Madoka demanded. Haruna's only response was to pass Madoka a helmet of her own, and point toward the front of the convention hall.

Madoka looked from the helmet to Haruna's pointing finger, then to the front of the hall, where a tidal wave of humanity roared through the now-open doorway. She only had time for her eyes to widen in horror before they were upon them.

"I am going to kill you," Madoka gasped in between long pulls from the bottle of water she held.

"What, you think that's the first time I've heard that?" Haruna said, grinning as she thumbed through the stack of cash she held. She quickly stuffed it into a small cashbox and locked it. "How often do you think I sell doujinshi anyway?"

Madoka slumped in her chair. "I can't believe I'm so tired just from that..."

Haruna shrugged. "That's a comic convention for ya."

Madoka slumped further on her folding chair. "Is it like this every time?"

Haruna paused in the act of packing up the gifts other artists had given her and looked up, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Yeah."

Madoka groaned. "You do realize I'm never, ever, ever, going to trust you again, right?"

Haruna's grin widened. "You think it's the first time I've ever heard that?" she asked, repeating her earlier question. "In fact I think it's the third time I've heard it from you, Kugimin~"

"Don't call me Kugimin."

"And about the millionth time for that," Haruna said, laughing. "Oh, and you didn't get to look at this year's book, did you?" she asked, holding up a copy of the book she had drawn. Madoka shook her head, and Haruna tossed the book into her lap. "Have fun~" she said as she took up her cashbox and hid it among the rest of the supplies she had brought.

"Um..." Madoka said as she looked at the cover of the book. From what Madoka could tell, the main character was a certain magical witch character Haruna used in one of her professionally created manga who was pretty blatantly based off of Misa. But... "What's with this title? 'Chocolate Covered Banana'?" She opened the cover and saw the two dreaded words on the first page: Adults Only. When she looked up toward where she had last seen Haruna to demand an explanation, Haruna was long gone.

"Oh, hell." She hadn't had a chance to actually look at it before now; she had been too busy selling thousands of copies to the flood of customers who had swarmed Haruna's table. "I should have expected something like this..."

Madoka flipped to the next page, straight into a shower scene. "What the...the...huh..." It really did look like Misa, even down to that mole on her—Madoka shut the book and looked around. Nobody was lurking around Haruna's wall table since she had sold all ten thousand copies of her book in a couple hours, so Madoka took the book and left.

"Oh...oh wow, this really is interesting," Madoka said as she walked along the sidewalk, her nose buried in Haruna's new doujinshi. The heroine, Magical Girl Misa (what an imaginative name, Madoka thought as she rolled her eyes), had finally been cornered by Magical Teacher Onion-sensei (who had just drunk a love potion intended for someone else) in the kitchen of her house when a new character, the masked hero The Ace of Hearts, who bore an astonishing resemblance to Madoka herself, appeared...

Madoka groaned as she looked away from the book. That whole Ace of Spades thing was never going to go away...! She looked back at the comic, and found herself blushing as Ace of Hearts was promptly pinned between Magical Girl Misa and Onion-sensei, who had tripped over nothing, apparently.

Madoka's face got redder and redder as she continued on from page to page until she reached the page where Ace of Hearts's underwear—she snapped the book shut and stalked along the sidewalk, red faced and refusing to meet anyone's eyes.

"I am going to kill her for this...!" Madoka muttered under her breath. But...her fingers twitched as she clutched the book. "Maybe after I finish reading..."

She didn't even notice the camera drone hovering nearby.

Haruna's cell phone rang; she put down her cup of espresso to answer it. "Hello? Asakura? How is it?" she asked excitedly. Some of the other patrons of the coffee shop gave her odd looks, but she ignored them.

"Yeah, it's me. Madoka's reading the book; she seems pretty into it." Kazumi's voice sounded bored as it came through the cell phone.

"Hu hu hu," Haruna laughed. "Number fourteen on the list of things I've always wanted to say: Just as planned! Now that my evil plan has begun, there will be no stopping it!" Several other customers scooted further away from Haruna's table.

"...evil plan? What are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about?" Haruna repeated. "Well, only my evil plan to force Kugimin and Misa to hook up and then join Negi-kun's harem, that's all," she said, puffing her chest out in pride. "I even went so far as to give my assistant the day off, during a comic convention even! Now all it'll take is a few more little pushes here and there, and then I'll have to arrange the blackout-"

"Haruna," Kazumi said.

"-and figure out a way to get a waterbed into that storage room-"

"Haruna," Kazumi said again.

"-and I'll also have to work on Misa, but that should be pretty easy; I've always thought she seemed a little bi-"

"Hey, PARU!" Kazumi yelled through the phone to get her attention

"Yes, Kazumin?" Haruna replied, grinning as she picked up her cup of espresso and took another sip.

"Don't call me Kazumin. And you're too late, Madoka and Misa are already together; they have been for years."

Haruna's espresso spewed halfway across the coffee shop.

"WHAT?! No way!"

"Yes way," Kazumi replied, sounding tired. "How can you NOT know? Everybody knows! Aren't you supposed to be able to smell the 'stench of love' or whatever you call it?"

Haruna just stared off into space, wide eyed. 'Madoka and Misa are...already together? Then...then that means my ridiculously circuitous plan is...useless?' "Wait," she said into the phone. "So when you say 'everybody', do you mean everybody?"

"Yeah, everybody."

"Yuecchi?"

"Yes."

"Asuna?"

"She was actually one of the first to figure it out."

"Honya? Maki-chan? Iincho?!" Haruna said with increasing volume until she smacked her hand hard on the table top and she shot up out of her seat. By this point, the employees of the coffee shop were discussing how best to get rid of the crazy person running off all their customers.

"That'd be yes, yes, and yes, though Ayaka's not a class rep anymore so you probably shouldn't call her 'Iincho'."

"N...no way..." Haruna said.

"I'm pretty sure even Anya knows, and she barely ever comes to Japan. Face it, Paru. You've fallen out of the loop."

Haruna looked at her cell phone in shock. "N...no...NOOOO...!"

Author's notes: ...I'm sorry.