Hey guys i held this chapter off for suspense after her death i hope you guys enjoy it please review and thank you for the wait~

Chapter 14

Grave

The next day came like a knife slowly pulling across the stomach.

No one slept. Even renji.

Since he brought the body home and laid it on ice that he had in the room which he kept his meals, he hasn't touched it. He wanted to bury her immediately but he wasn't able to even touch her body to clean it or anything. Instead he stayed in the living room staring at one of her paintings on the wall while the small kittens mourned loudly at the sensation of sadness from its owner and the ominous loss of the other that it was able to sense.

It was 12 midday. He received a call on the phone from Itori.

"You have here don't you…I want to see her…it's a lie right- she's not gone!"

He rested the phone on the counter and went to the room.

I shouldn't answer her. I shouldn't even speak about Kaisa. I can't make it…worse.

The coldness of the room hit him like a sharp razor over his skin as he stepped further into the room and to the table with ice that her body laid upon. She wasn't chiseled. Not even a sweat.

He looked at her and removed her blouse using a knife to rip the fabric. He could then see the scarring on her ribcage. She must have suffered a punctured lung. He got the knife nearby and held it skillfully as he pressed it against her stomach and paused. He couldn't…..he just couldn't do this.

"Itori…itori….."

She shifted out her trance looking at her customer as she blinked a couple times. "I…..I don't think I can open the bar all day today again…"

"What?! Itori come on- how long have you not opened your bar- like….almost an entire week now and when you did the last two times- it was only open for a couple hours, come on what's going on?"

She looked at him, he was just a regular at her bar but he was a decent friend, a vital information broker. "I am mourning the death of my only family member, I don't really know if I can manage this…..sadness." She said as she looked on the granite counters tears welling in her eyes as they ran down slowly.

She closed the bar doors as her friend stood next to her giving her a pat on the shoulder before leaving. She pushed the keys in her bag as she walked pulling most of what was in her face behind her ears as the rest of her hair fluttered lightly in the afternoon breeze.

The sun was still up but for her it was like an intensifying sorrow as the falling of the sun and rising of the night was too similar to the one that Kaisa was murdered on leaving her with memories and images of her body not mention the smell of her blood and her facial expression that she last made.

She covered her face sobbing lightly as she walked fast in the crowd the heat not even affecting her as she was cladded in black a ritual for death that she only grant those who were close, those who were special to receive. And Kaisa was a part of that…..but she was never meant to be dead.

Her legs led her to the only place she could imagine going right now as she knocked on the closed store door banging it harder enough to possibly brake it till she smelt an over familiar scent getting closer and the phisque of a body she had known way too well approach from the other side flicking the locks installed before slowly pulling the door open staring at her face.

"He has her…..d-doesn't he?" she said bursting into sobs as she stepped in or more likely walked into him her shoulder shaking as she cried heavily into his arms unable to hold back much more.

It wasn't like she didn't cry at home. Three days she spent alone in her room staring into darkness unable to eat or even move.

"Itori chan…." His hand rubbed her back and he closed the door with his other hand gladly the purse not getting in the way but that was beyond the problem he had here….Itori was not holding up.

At all.

He led her into the other side of the store taking the hallway and the door on the left leading to the staircase to the second floor where his apartment was.

"I'm sorry."

This was the first thing he said since he sat her down in his living room looking at her wiping her tears from her swollen eyes. Lack of sleep, no eating, a lot of paleness in her skin and extremely reddened and swollen eyes. Humans would get that after hours of crying but as a ghoul that would heal in minutes. Just how much crying had she been doing for it to be so obvious….how long? How heavy? How often?

"Your sorrow….I understand….because it goes through me every day, all the time. Humans can be….so fragile"

Itori looked up at him staring point blank, "you speak as if she is in the past…..you fucking-"

"because she is….she's dead. We watched her as she had her final death and we watched her die."

She growled moving so fast against him as she hit him in the face so hard tackling him to the hardwood floor with ease as she hit him again more than positive she had broken something.

"you are an asshole you know that- I don't know what the fuck she even saw you in you! You're so cruel! So wicked and twisted! You have no idea what it means have someone important in your fucking life! Uta you fucking worthless good for nothing piece of shit!" she yelled hitting him in the face till they slowly turned to slop getting softer and softer as she broke down on top of him.

"i-i-its like you didn't love her, its like you didn't care. All the times you kissed or held her all the times she spoke to you….how…c-can you be- be around her so much and not- not falling in f-fu-fucking love with her. And now she's dead….and its my fault…..if I was al-always with her she would die she's dead because of meeee" she cried as she leaned on to him gripping his shirt sobbing into her chest as she blamed herself for everything.

She was supposed to protect her and never let her die, where, 'If anything happened to her little kaichi she would die, and then she would come back to life and kill the person who killed her.' She wanted to kill herself she wanted to be the one who was murdered instead not Kaisa…not her beloved friend who was a child, a sister, a companion and basically…..everything to her and everything she ever had...and always wanted.

"Your such an asshole you never cared- why- why aren't you hitting me back?!"

"because…I need you to let it out. I need you to blame someone. I need you to stop hurting yourself inside."

He murmured as he laid there the pain in his face feeling not so bad anymore as he looked up into the ceiling. "i…I probably fell in love with her faster than she did with me" –he said resting the back of his hand over his face an embarrassing defense since he couldn't contort his emotions at such a difficult time.

Itori looked up at him rising up as she wiped her tears. Uta just said….he was in love with her. She blinked a couple times as tears rolled down her cheeks in default and her stomach tightening. "i- I never meant what I said I never knew you loved her that strongly but I knew there was some fe-"

"you were angry. You wanted to let it out. You wanted to blame someone. You wanting to stop hurting yourself…on the inside" –he murmured not moving an inch. "what you want the most is for me to comfort you thou….thats why you're here" –he said moving his hand as he sat up looking at her.

She nodded her cheeks soaking wet as she hugged him suddenly out of nowhere gripping him tightly. She felt better, she felt so much better. Half of her was missing but she felt much better than she did before when she was on the verge of starving herself to death.

Uta watched her sleeping as he gently ran his hand though her red foxen hair pulling the blankets over her knowing this was the best sleep she was getting since the incident. He closed the door behind him moving to the living room fixing the chairs shifted out of place from her tantrum.

He felt like he had maybe said too much about Kaisa. Even if it was just a line of below fifteen words.

He did love her though. After their first date everything after that was so….different. a lifestyle where her looking at him smiling for no reason. Could mean a thousand things. But because they were in love….he knew exactly what she was saying. Like through her eyes, through her lips, down to the way she spoke or manipulate her body…every line of movement was a clear sentence that channeled what she couldn't say. For years of watching humans she seemed the most interesting, but like renji said it was only so because he loved her.

When there is someone special or close to you. Everything about them is so….different. but it's because they are so special to you, everything they do or say becomes different, but on the outer eye, they are just the same as any other human you would see or meet.

She made a day feel like an adventure by either suddenly appearing at his store door or randomly carrying him to the park out of nowhere.

Maybe it was the way she said his name the way she looked at him or the way she held his hand.

Maybe it was how soft her lips were, how smooth her legs felt or the captivation that lied in her eyes when he looked at her.

Or maybe….the way she smelt. The way she suited a delicacy for a full meal. The scent of her sweet enchanting blood or the fat that laid beneath her skin.

Maybe it was nothing…..and maybe it was all.

Either way, she had more than left an impact to bring him to question his own wits of if she truly had died. He walked to the bathroom looking at his self recalling what Itori had said and he thought to himself, what if it was all true? What if all she said weren't really lies? When people are on an emotional spur, the one thing they are able to deliver from bottling everything up…is truth.

Somewhere deep inside he knew what he had said to Itori was something he meant. Humans are truly fragile. A crushed trachea and she's dead, a crushed trachea for him and it would heal in….37 seconds. He looked in the mirror wrapping his hand around his neck in a strangling position as a solid squeeze was good enough to filling the bathroom with the sound of bones cracking and snapping under pressure additionally breaking skin as the blood seeped through his finger, as usually he was too rough. He spat out the blood in the basin looking back up to see the neck reforming to its state as the skin healed perfectly. 22 seconds. He hasn't been very active lately in combat but his healing ability progressed even better.

He thought of what he felt as he tilted his neck in different angles observing the perfect recovery. She never felt anything like that, she never had an experience of her limb being removed or a hole in her stomach or her extremities splattered around. For her maybe she died of shock before she was impacted by pain which of her kind would be horrifying. He pouted watching the blood down the sink looking up to the mirror frowning.

"It didn't even hurt"

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