Chapter 16
Presence

"Kaisa…slowly….sit up, very slowly"

"My b-back….hurtss." I manage to say as I swear this is the worst throat pain in history.

Itori supports me and I flush red at the sight of what I'm wearing. A huge T-shirt and underwear. I'm in a bedroom I barely know but starting to get used to and my arm is connected to the IV drip stand with an IV and receiving blood bag.

The first person I saw was Renji. I could hear sounds but they were so small and Renji was generally a silent person so the loudest sound I would hear was either the drawers or the door locks. He explained slowly and very detailed the position I was in along with my conditions leaving no vital information out as he confirmed the one question I died with in my head.

They were all… ghouls.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. How could I be so damn stupid to realize not even the slightest. Ha. The stupidity was Itori. I lived nearly my entire life with her and I never even figured it out, but then it made sense. Her club. Her eating habits. Her strength. Her underground links. I just never figured she was of that….kind.

And Uta. The question was asked because of him. The eyes of that man as he chocked me were the same as Uta and I realized then, this isn't a tattoo. These were the eyes of the monster that go around eating humans murdering them for fun.

I wanted to scream I wanted to move away from renji when he replied yes but then he was taking care of me and renji was so…kind. And loving. And gentle.

It didn't make sense.

It just never made sense.

The next day I saw Itori and when she entered I witnessed her face drained of color and life as she stumbled over her own feet and fell at the bed crying helplessly. I felt my eyes release water themselves as I couldn't understand how, knowing what she was, I was able to feel such relief when I saw her step through the door. My hands caressed her face as I looked at her worrisome one. What level of pain was she going through? She got thinner….pale…sickly…she looked like a breeze was enough to slam her dead to the floor.

As the days progressed she grew better, like today. She wore heavier layers of clothes maybe due to the rainfall season but I felt it was primarily to hide her thinned figure.

"It's going to hurt….that's why we're putting you in a brace. When you wear this it helps the healing."

"But…I already have on this neck brace..."

"No more talking. And I know," she leaned over and kissed my forehead, "you'll wear it 14 hours a day"

I frowned. "Itori…"

"hmm?" She washed the washrag in the warm water as she reached over doing the last of bathing me wiping my face.

"When…am I going to see Uta?"

She frowned. She didn't answer. Again. This was the ninth time I was asking since I woke up and she never replied each time I asked.

She dressed me in silence as she placed my neck brace on tucking me under covers as she rubbed the balm on my lips then kissed me on my forehead.

I listened to her leave the room closing the door behind her as I turned a little in the bed closing my eyes.

/

"She asked again." Itori said as she looked over at Uta crouched at the doorway looking unto the carpet as he looked over at the closed door then back to the floor.

Itori looked at him as she felt her eyes swell with water wanting to cry. Instead she held it in turning away with the pale of water heading to the laundry.

Renji met her halfway taking the pale from her as he carried it himself but she still followed longing for the comfort she knew she received every time she left that room from renji.

"It's so sad!" she releases as she cries unto him her shoulders shaking as renji rubbed her back the sound or the machine spinning behind them as they stood in the laundry room. "She asks for him every day…every day she asks and when she does I can see how- how it hurts….how much she wants to cry…she doesn't even know…."

Renji hugged her closer. It's been so rough. He felt like this was becoming unbearable at this point and that was the level it was for him. He couldn't even imagine the level for Itori who was more involved and worse, Uta himself. He kept holding her until she finished as she pulled away wiping her tears fixing her hair as she wiped her face with his handkerchief she had been holding on to.

"He's here every day….since she woke up he has been here at her room door just listening to her….watching her…protecting her. He wouldn't even enter when she is sleeping, just to look at her. I know he senses her and he can hear her voice but how does he do it? To not move, to not look at her. Just to enter the fucking room, that's all he has to do." Itori looked up at renji and he kept his expression serious and firm just giving her his full attention. He knew himself what she meant, he had seen it first handed too. Only Itori and he have been entering the room. Uta hasn't seen her face to face since she woke up.

Later on that Afternoon.

Renji went out leaving Itori and Uta at home. Itori was preparing something in time for Kaisa when she woke up.

"I know she likes wine and that's not healthy so I decided to make a smoothie for her."

"That's cruel. The reason she is still on IV at this rate is because her throat and neck hasn't completely healed. It is going to be difficult for her to swallow."

Itori stopped as she looked at him. "I don't cook. I'm trying to do this for her and I am doing my hardest to make it really good and thin so it's not as painful as it would be. She's on the drip I'm sure she misses the sensation of food in her mouth, plus…it's gonna make her a little happy."

"Last night she didn't sleep well." Uta said the sound of worry in his voice. "While I sat out her room I could hear her turning in the bed and groaning softly…she isn't in pain but maybe its nightmares"

Itori paused. "Maybe nightmares. This morning it didn't look like she got a lot of sleep so most likely it's that."

"I didn't sleep because I wondered, what if she fell off the bed in her distress, or she began crying….again. I would have to get you to get to her so she wou-"

"Uta…it would help so much….if you were there with her. The nightmares….the crying…if you were there."

He remained silent.

"Of course…nothing to say. Well you know Uta…" she gripped the knife as she stabbed the apple before her looking at him

"I lose. You win. You do love her, you love her so much you are so scared of confronting her now that she knows the truth. You're so scared that….she is going to walk away from you or scream when she sees you or look at you in fear or disgust. I understand, I was too. But instead, she hasn't and I'm sure she won't do that to you."

He looked at her. He didn't know what to say. That was the reason he didn't want to see her. Now he just wanted to watch her from afar as hard as it was.

Itori sighed. "You can't hide forever." She said as she returned to cutting up the apples as she diced them up throwing them in the blender as she began making the smoothie.

After a few Hours.

I woke up swallowing involuntarily as I sat up slowly. Yes! I woke up and Itori wasn't around which meant some time to me!

I unbuckled the neck rest taking it off as I felt a little uncomfortable at the stiffness stretching my neck a little. To be honest the only pain I felt was the stiffness from this thing around my neck. I looked around the room frowning as I shuffled around in the bed deciding I would move around the room for a first. Almost immediately I heard footsetps. I grabbed the neck restraint putting it around my neck as I shuffled back down into the bed pulling the sheets back up just in time as Itori steps in with a tray.

"Oh your awake." She said coming to me. I see a smoothie. I want that smoothie

. .

She sat in the chair beside the bed as she smiled looking at me and I tense a little. Please tell me she is unaware. I remain silent in guilt and fear.

"You have the expression of a guilty person"

SHE KNOOOOWWWWSSSSSSSS

"a-ah I we-"

"I know…you don't have to say it. You were worried when you woke up because you didn't see me."

I blinked.

"well I made smoothie for you"

"wait….you made it…..oh." I thought she bought it. If she made it…then this is fatal. Woman has never cooked in her life. Then that thing is my ticket to the other side.

"What's that supposed to mean. It has lots of love Kaichi….now….drink"

meanwhile

Renji had invited the doctor over to hopefully see the next update of Kaisa's condition since she woke back up.

"Her neck is already healed. That's not logical."

The doctor grinned going through his files revealing the illustration of the x-ray done on her neck. "As you can see, there wasn't even a steady bone remaining since it was completely smashed. But last week when I came this-" he showed them the most previous, "-was her result. Her healing is remarkable, I-I can hardly believe it. She has done what is in-survivable by surviving such a fatal attack that definitely results death. I mean…the atlas, axis, hyoid bone, c1-c7 vertebra, the trachea, the cricoid and thyroid cartilage down to the epiglottis- everything posterior and anterior broken and crushed, damaged to an irreversibly by scientific power state, have returned to its true form so quickly. It is the foundation of something so great that humans can't even do. What she has done….is something only a ghoul can achieve due to their RC cells. She healed so quickly and its remarkable!" Vertigo said excited as he rested the papers down.

"But, Kaisa…she's human right or is she….a ghoul- will she have to stay on ghoul blood." Renji asked. Its almost like he took the words from Uta's mouth.

"One step at a time, it would be smart to have her blood count checked. She's lost more than half of her own blood. The heart is a magnificent organ, it has the potential to recreate, clean and create new blood. It will take time but the blood will change back." Vertigo said looking at them both. "I have to go, I will be visiting to check her up" he said taking up his stuff getting ready to leave. "Oh…she is completely fine but her body does seem to be suffering from fatigue which might be the excessive sleeping. Continue her on ghoul blood and remove her from the IV since its unnecessary at this point." He said leaving afterwards as renji and Uta sat down both their heads filled with questions and concerns.

"This is good news. Itori should take a few days off just to recover from the worrying and put herself together. She has been stuck to Kaisa closer than that bed."

Uta nearly smiled as renji did have a point.

"I think this is the part where you step in, and take care of her yourself."

Uta looked at him. "There are other places I can help. Protection from the outside so no one finds her here."

"You have been doing that. And that ghoul…he's already dead, a request you made that I did without a budge." Renji said rising up. "You were very insistent that he dies."

Uta shifted a little looking into the ceiling. He was awfully tired having not slept for two days straight. He was more conscious about Kaisa and her sleeping and her safety and her health.

Later that night as he sat out her room with the pillow and his sheet he laid on it looking in the ceiling. Renji had spoken to Itori insisting that she left for three days to rest as she would do better eating and getting rest. Itori was pissed but renji had hit the nail on the head when he asked her if she pondered how Kaisa felt seeing her everyday looking thin and weak. She returned to Kaisa room telling her she would leave as she left the following afternoon.

He figured that Itori found what Kaisa felt and thought very important since it proved to him like many other times that Kaisa was extremely influential in her life. She stopped eating and lost sleep, if Itori was placed on the battlefield in that state being targeted as a ghoul she wouldn't face anything and last seconds.

He shifted a little as his eyes felt heavy. He couldn't judge her, he himself haven't been sleeping properly however he did eat. Being targeted by the doves almost his entire life taught him that eating was his main priority even if his own arms were chopped off and couldn't regrow. Eat. Get stronger. Continue living. Don't give up.

I turned in my bed sitting up as I pulled off the neck brace and did the same with the back support. There was no way in hell I could sleep with these things on me. Fuck. As a matter of fact there was no way I could sleep with my stomach growling at this level. As I shift I realize it's literally 2 in the morning when I look at the clock. I rise out the bed and shift as I immediately hear the sound of the cords attach to me being pulled.

I froze and turned to the IV frowning. I didn't want to have to bring it with me to the kitchen. I pulled out the needles hissing under my breath as I slowly and lightly step to the door slowly opening it. I step out my room smiling since I really have never moved around since I woke up and this was the furthest I have gone so far. Before I take another step I look around and freeze as I spot the body on the floor.

It was…Uta.

"Uta…"

EXTRA

I feel my eyes water as I slowly stoop down stretching my hands over to his cheeks.

As soon as my finger touches his skin I feel him grip my wrist pinning me to the floor as I feel his fingers press against my abdomen.

His movements paused as he looked into my eyes almost like realizing it was me. "Kaisa?!" he pulled away immediately.

The tears ran down the sides of my face as I looked up at him my throat feeling so dry as I realize this really isn't a dream. He's actually here, he was always here….this entire time.

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