Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me, but that doesn't stop me from loving this show. Thank you again SWWoman for the fixes. This chapter is going to be mature as a warning to anyone reading. If you have been reading up to this point and don't want to read that kind of stuff, just read the first part before stopping. Enjoy everyone^^
Chapter 11 - Talking About It
"What happened to us John?" She had to ask the question now. It was eating away at her and she wanted to finally know the truth.
"I don't know" he said. He felt terrible for not being able to give her an answer. Of course this did not satisfy her.
"Yes you do. I can't really read your mind except for what you were going to head to the roof to do…" her voice hitched slightly but he caught it. She just stood up and went over to the window. She wasn't really ready to look at him while talking about this. "You hadn't expected me to show up?"
He continued to watch her as he sat at the table. He had told himself that he wanted to talk to her about this but he was also reluctant to hear the reasons behind everything. "No, I gave Finch that code because I knew that he would ask you the meaning because of your military background" he explained.
"Why tell us for sure that you had a vest too? I and Fusco were trying to follow you from the message you sent when Finch found the address."
"My intention was to lead you to the area, but not to save me" he watched as she placed her left palm on the glass. He continued "I sent that message to keep you all away from me so you wouldn't get killed."
"Of course we didn't listen" she joked stiffly. Giving him a glance, he could see the glistening indication of tears. She was clearly trying to hold them back. "What about the hallway?"
"I didn't want you to get hurt Joss. You wouldn't have had enough time to disarm the bomb."
"You didn't even say goodbye. You just said thank you."
"Well you and Lionel have been a big part in shaping the man I am today. I had to let you both know that I really appreciated it and all of your help with the numbers."
"I didn't want you to go. That's why I grabbed you." He could see the tears begin their journey before she would wipe them away. He stood up and made his way over to her only to stand a few inches behind her. "I've lost a lot of people that I've cared about. I never got to say goodbye to any of them. When you were going to sacrifice yourself, I was scared." She placed her other hand on the window, watching as the drizzle got heavier. "I've lost my comrades, friends, my husband, and I was going to lose you too."
"Aren't we only just friends though? What category do I fit in?" He watched as she shook her head.
"It's different with you. Knowing you is something that no one else could ever comprehend because of what you are and what you do. John…" she turned around and pressed her back against the window, feeling the glass against her shoulders. "It really hurt when you just stopped talking to me. For a while, I thought that you hated me for what I did by ignoring your warning."
He took a step forward. "I did because I just didn't want to see you and know that it was going to be it. I would rather have you not remember me for doing something like that, just turning my back on you and walking away."
"Do you know how hard it was to watch you turn around and just leave?"
He took another step. "I didn't want you to get hurt. Like I told you, you had too much to lose. I didn't have anyone to cry for me anyway."
"I missed you ya know." She saw the look of surprise on his face and watched him take another step, bringing him at arms length. "Damn it, look what you're doing to me" she chuckled as she wiped some more tears.
"It's because you care. Joss I wanted the last moments of my life to mean something at least. I wanted to do some good for all the bad I've done."
"You still don't think that you've done enough John. You help all of those strangers. I don't think anyone would think any less of you because of your past life."
"It was that past that almost killed me. I just didn't want the people that I've grown to care about get caught up in something that I needed to deal with on my own."
"Nothing is normal when it comes to any of us, besides it was my fault that this almost happened to you. If I hadn't sold you out before…" she was silence when he step closer again, becoming enveloped in his masculine scent as he drew her into a hug. Her eyes widened, not used to this level of affection from the vigilante, but she returned it.
She sighed in content, happy to be with him now after so long. "You know that this isn't going to make me feel better about what I did, but I appreciate the effort" she remarked. Pulling back, she saw a real smile on his face. "Thanks for telling me the truth. Even if you don't think so, I still believe you to be a good man."
He took a hand and brushed away a few strands to get a better look at her face, especially her eyes. "You really are the one that knows me best Joss" he said softly. He looked at her lips which she proceeded to lick in anticipation. He wanted to do the deed, but there was one thing that he had to be sure of.
Joss was waiting eagerly. She had wanted the same thing to happen as he did but she noticed the look he gave her. It was that look he gave her when he wanted to ask her something personal. She asked "What's the question John? I can see that damn look on your face when you are curious about something." She always found his mischievous looks quite sexy, knowing that he was up to no good but not wanting to stop him either.
"Oh, why Detective, I was only curious if you were going to continue seeing Cal after the recent developments."
The gaze in her eyes softened at this question. She hoped that her answer would result in what she really wanted from him. "I'm finished with him as of today. Besides, I couldn't really focus on him since I've had my mind set on another guy" she said innocently.
"Well I'm really sure that this other guy wouldn't really want to be just a rebound when it comes to you."
"You wouldn't" she replied honestly. "John after what had happened that night, I couldn't stop thinking about you. When Cal would fall asleep while we were watching TV, I would wonder if you were really okay or what you were doing at that moment.
"Did he ever notice?"
"No, the only thing was that I could never get physical with him. He would try and push me, but I would always stop him, threatening him."
"What about now?"
"It's different because it's you. I want you…I need you John."
He pressed her against the glass, but she welcomed the warmth of his body. He took her chin and eased it up before leaning down to touch his lips with hers. It was a simple kiss, meant to test the waters and allowing either of them to change their mind and pretend this never happened.
John put both his fingertips on the glass behind her, essentially trapping her. Due to their closeness, he could feel her heart pounding in her chest, mimicking what his was doing as well. He then took her body in his arms before moving a hand down her back. Once he reached her ass, he gripped it roughly, loving the firm feeling along with the fabric of her shorts.
This action had her gasp involuntarily for which he took advantage by slipping his tongue through. He took solace as he intertwined his tongue with hers while also exploring the velvety smoothness inside.
While giving herself into him, Joss realized something about their current position. The hands on his chest applied pressure to push him away. She saw him looked down at her in confusion. "It's just that I'm not too keen on some curious people outside seeing what we're up too."
He gave her that smile again. "There's no need to worry. Finch had these windows made with bulletproof two way glass." He leaned in closer. "So we have all the privacy in the world."
"Oh goodie" she remarked while snaking her hands under his shirt. She tried her best to memorize every bump, ridge, and cut on his body and she slowly passed her fingertips over him. Before long, John decided to just divest himself of the material, giving her a better view. She couldn't help but be fascinated with the beautiful mixture of him and his scars. She had accepted long ago that this was a part of his life as much as he hated it and as much as she hated how much it hurt him, it was an imperfection that made her need for him stronger.
John fisted his left hand into the dark cascade of still moist hair and began to assault her neck with his lips. His warm breath was spreading through her body just like when she had hovered on the abyss of death. This was the feeling that she remembered when he brought her back and she welcomed it.
His lips pressed lightly against her skin, being sure to tease her with the tip of his tongue each time he made contact. The jolts and gasping noises she made satisfied him to no end. His free hand floated up past her hips. Before long, he had ghosted his palm over her covered breast.
"John, please…" she whispered. Joss yearned for those same hands that have caused criminals so much pain and suffering to touch her and bring pleasure.
"Only because you said please" he replied against her neck before pushing his hand against her. He could hear the hitching in her breath as he began to mold the breast in his hands. He played with her body and if she hadn't been against the window, she may have collapsed to the floor from the euphoric feelings.
His lips made a path down as he continued his ministration. Finding the vein under her chin, he flashed back to the night he plucked her from the water and he desperately checked for a pulse. Seeing the strong coursing of life under her skin, he dedicated quite a bit of attention to that one spot, eliciting small moans from her.
His hand played with her more, teasing the covered nipple between his thumb and index finger. Meanwhile her hands made their way to his hair, passing her fingers through the graying brown hair that he alone could make look so sexy.
John soon decided to stop playing with her neck and instead opt to remove the shirt. Pulling at the hem upwards, she raised her hands to help. Once he had divested her of intruding material, he threw it in the direction of the kitchen. He grew more excited as he saw Joss in nothing but the shorts.
He became a bit more aggressive as he grabbed both breasts, forcing her to the window again. Her body jerked slightly as more of her body was exposed to the cold glass. John just mimicked the actions he had done before, except now he played with both mounds with nothing in the way.
He leaned forward, taking one of her sensitive peaks into his mouth. His tongue began to tease her, each second felt like torture to her as she felt more of the liquid fire travel through her body. The enormous heat that she was feeling began to fog up the glass behind her as he continued.
"John…" she murmured, his name on her lips was like music to his ears. He implemented his teeth to apply a bit of pressure to the small bundle of nerves. Hearing the hiss of pain and moans from her, he would release her before licking the pain away.
He felt himself being forcefully pulled away by her and before he could say anything, she planted another kiss on him. He wrapped her up in his arms, bringing their naked torsos in contact with each other.
"Joss…you feel so good" he whispered when they finally pulled away due to the lack of air between them.
"John please…" she begged. He knew what she wanted and he wanted nothing more than to be buried within her folds.
Lowering his gaze, he hooked the waistband of her shorts and underwear with his fingers before slowly dragging them down her long, slim legs. Tossing them away, he planted kisses on her exposed skin as he traveled back up. As he met her eyes, he saw the cloud of desire storming in them.
"My turn" she said before she grabbed at his pants and boxers. She decided to have a bit of fun and take her sweet time as she lowered them to the floor. When she finally exposed him, her eyes widen at the size of his erection. She was quite impressed with what he had been hiding in the suit for all those months that he had know her.
She finished removing his clothes and tossed them to the side. She was tempted to touch him but he stopped her before she could go through with it. Placing her back against the window, he shook his head.
"I can't wait any longer Joss." He took her right leg and wrapped it around his waist as she enveloped her arms around his neck. She could feel him so close to her and she let out a shaky sigh. He noticed this and grew concerned. "You okay?"
She framed his face and looked deep into his eyes. "It's just that it's been so long." She watched him nod his head in understanding.
"Yeah, it's the same for me. Joss, I haven't yearned for a woman as much as I have for you in years."
"John…" her voice disappeared as she felt him brush her core with the tip of his erection.
He wanted to test the waters, wanting to make sure she was ready. His brief contact caused a shiver to run down his spine. He positioned his hands on either side of her, wrapping one arm completely around her while the other pressed against the fogging glass.
She could feel him pass her entrance again, causing a whimper of protest to escape her lips. Not wanting to deny either of them anymore, he began to push. He applied pressure and began to plunge deeper into her hot, moist folds as he pulled out more moans from her lips. As he continued, the lovers grabbed each other, trying to keep each other sane from the flooding feelings of ecstasy.
Joss felt every inch of his cock as it entered her body. She could feel every inch of him stretching her so that she could accept him. Once he was fully inside, they each took a moment to enjoy the feelings. John then began to move slowly, pulling out slightly more each time before thrusting back in.
As his thrusts became more forceful, their moans and the banging of the glass continued to increase. Joss squeezed her hands as to try to keep her sanity as he continued to take her. Her legs were beginning to lose feeling from the fiery build up that was starting inside her.
She tried to keep herself in control as the friction grew in intensity. She wanted the feelings to last forever. She didn't want it to end.
After what seemed like an eternity, that long forgotten feeling of a large pool of fire began forming in her stomach. She clutched at him for dear life as her orgasm ripped through her body. She breathed his name into his ear as her body jolted and convulsed from the force.
As her body tightened around him, John felt his own release beckon. He had also tried to keep his control to get this to last as long as possible. Unfortunately Joss' reaction to her release caused him to follow soon after. Hearing his name from her lips, he thrust a few more times before he too let go into her.
The force of everything left them both breathing hard, pressed up against the window to keep from collapsing.
When they finally made eye contact with each other, they just smiled. After swallowing hard, Joss found her voice again. "John…how's your stamina?"
He looked at her with raised eyebrows before lifting her in his arms with incredible vigor. He then carried her in the direction of his bed. Laying her against the sheets, he crawled on top of her with a smirk on his lips. "I still have more than enough for a round two" he said before kissing her again.
A/N: I want to thank everyone that has given this story a chance so far. That goes to the registered users and the guests too. I want to give you all a gigantic bear hug and never let go to the guest since I can't express my gratitude in a message. To everyone else, I hope that I managed to message all of you. I greatly appreciate all of your reviews from the bottom of my heart. SWWoman, you are especially awesome for continuing to look at my stuff while also working on yours. Thanks a million.