It didn't make sense. Maybe that was because it was Lapis, but still. Peridot couldn't gather her bearings long enough to understand what was happening, let alone question why.

Okay, that was a lie. In her mind screamed a thousand 'why's. Why were they in a random person's backyard (and she knew it wasn't Lapis' because they had to stay quiet and away from the darkened windows)? Why did Lapis keep looking at her like she was a puppy in need of scolding? Why was she even following Lapis? Why didn't she just go home already?

A thousand questions. Not a single damn answer. And she really, really hated being kept in the dark like this. It was literally her most loathed part of life.

But she didn't argue, and she didn't leave to go home, and she didn't let her hand fall from Lapis' even when they were standing inches apart, tucked back into the darkest corner behind a tool shed. Because for some.. indescribable moment, this felt okay. She felt okay.

But that was before her mind began berating this very night once more and she was suddenly suffocating from the proximity and she just had to get away. Their fingers untangled and she stepped back, not fully out of the cover of shadow but enough to catch sight of the quarter moon.

Lapis' frown, the one she'd been loyally harboring all night, deepened. It almost seemed she was sneering at the blonde, threatening her with eyes of charcoal behind bangs that swayed with the late breeze.

When the silence seemed painful, physically so as it weighed on them from above and pushed them from below and twisted them from the sides, it was broken. By Lapis. By her. Their words came together in an unclear, hectic display.

"Why did yo-"

"I need to-"

And then there was a smirk tugging at the still present frown upon the blue-haired beauty's face, and she shifted her weight, tugging at the almost nonexistent jacket that barely gave any sense of coverage. "Sorry," she murmured, but the faint humor in her voice voted otherwise, "you can go ahead."

Peridot shook her head, running her hands over her bare arms and looking off toward the uppermost floor of the home, particularly the left corner. Nothing gave any sign of life, but she was certain it still couldn't be but something after ten. No reason someone shouldn't still be up; she herself stayed awake reading well into the morning.

"Why are we here? Who's home is this?" She didn't really expect an answer, so she wasn't at all surprised when her answer was the rolling of Lapis' shoulders out the corner of her eye.

"Does it really matter?" came the snarky reply, and for once it sounded genuine and made her flinch back, eyes dropping. And she got her own metaphor, how she looked like a broken puppy, because she suddenly felt like one when Lapis snapped like that.

She shook her head ever so slightly before turning and looking up the room once more. What if that light did come on? "No, I guess not," she murmured quietly.

She heard the heavy sigh, but it still caught her off guard when a hand reached out, fingertips brushing along her forearm. She jerked slightly, taking yet another step back into the ongoing moonlight. Lapis realized her mistake, withdrew her hand as if it had been flames she'd been attempting to comfort. Her face contorted into something unknown, and well hidden by the dark when she turned sideways to avoid Peridot's questioning eyes.

"I... This was a really stupid idea," Lapis chuckled out, shaking her head. "I just... You don't.." Her voice leveled out before dipping into oblivion, leaving silent words hanging on the end of her tongue. But she couldn't find the strength to give them weight. It would take too much out of her.

The blonde stepped forward, if only to retreat back into the shadow should prying eyes wander their way. She wanted to leave, she felt she should comfort. It made her antsy and bounce on the balls of her feet as she scrutinized the girl before her. What was Lapis trying to do to her? Should she even be listening to this?

"If you don't start making sense," she warned, but the beginning to a threat she had no way of going through with came out as little more than a whine, and she ducked her head to retrieve any sense of understanding. It didn't work, of course, but it gave her a moment to collect her breath.

Before it was swiftly taken from her yet again.

Lapis didn't back down this time as her hand came out to wrap around the blonde's forearm, tugging her further into the shadow and making her stumble over a patch of grass grown too high. The soft warmth of a body caught her, and her mind decided now was the perfect time to lose functioning capability. Because she forgot anything besides the arm that swiftly wrapped round her waist, ignored everything save the sensation of a hand pushing her chin up more forcibly than might have been required. She forgot everything accept those crystalline eyes, that honed in on her and only stopped closing in when they were mere inches apart.

She didn't think breathing would ever be on her to-do list again.

Lapis' eyes were so intense, like a storm smashing against the coast, foaming and writhing in anger at an overwhelming sky. They pierced her, froze her. And there wasn't a damned thing she could do about it.

"What do you feel when I'm around?" It was a question Peridot could barely hear, but that somehow pierced the veil that encircled her whole. "Because that's what I feel, too. And it's so fucking annoying, Peri."

With every word her body shook, that arm closed in tighter, till not even air was in their way. Being flush against this raving, blue-haired nut was almost unbearable. Peridot didn't think she could take a second more of this. It was too much, too intimate. Yet... She wanted it. And she hated that she wanted it, all at the same time.

Her eyes went wide when Lapis dipped in, she felt when breath hit her lips. Her body went fully limp at last, and her eyelids fluttered. She felt the movements as they ghosted across her mouth. She was so ready... She wasn't ready at all...

And she was falling.

Her knees hit the ground gently, aided by the overgrown grass. It still shocked her, sent a jolt of surprise and confusion tangling in her head, but now she could breath. And she did, sucking in gulps of unsteady oxygen that burned her deprived lungs. Tears were stinging the backs of her eyes, she realized too late, before she blinked and they were falling down her cheeks.

And Lapis just stood there, face completely engulfed by shadow. But her shoulders were shaking, and her breathing was anything besides normal. She looked so frail, so lost, maybe even more so than Peridot. And neither knew why or even what was happening anymore. It just was.

Peridot could feel moisture, present after the gentle drizzle from just before dusk, soaking through the fabric of her jeans. It left her knees and calves cold, feeling exposed almost, but she couldn't bring her limbs to work right. She was frozen in place, the tingling of what was once warmth turned icy capturing her attention and bringing focus to the corner of her mouth.

Would Lapis have actually gone through with it? Would she have let Lapis?

The better question to that, though, was would she have had the strength to stop Lapis? And that.. was too obvious an answer.

Peridot found her teeth grinding, hands fisting against her thighs as she breathed unevenly through her nostrils. Home, she set on repeat in her mind, home. She needed to get home. Lapis was a problem, disaster really, for another day. Preferably one when she had patience enough to stand being in the same radius as the conflicting, mind boggling mess that was Lapis Lazuli.

But she still couldn't move, and in the end, Lapis was the one to break the silence that had befallen them.

"I'm sorry... I can't help myself around you." And, it shocked Peridot. Because there was a smile in those words, tucked back, and when emerald eyes jerked upward, they widened to find the taller girl's shoulders shaking. Not with tears or fear, but laughter. And it completely distressed Peridot because, why? Had this girl finally, finally lost her mind?

Cerulean orbs crashed into her like waves upon the sand when they could fully open again, and even though the biggest of cocky smirks tugged thin lips up almost sadistically, there was no hiding the confliction going on within. Lapis was faking, and she was damn good at it if you didn't see her eyes. But here she was, showing it all to Peridot.

And Peridot respected that, in a way even she couldn't fully comprehend at the given time.

Lapis shook her head, sighing and pushing the bangs back from her face in that all too familiar, telling way that had the younger girl's eyes narrowing. She took a step forward, rested her hand gently against Peridot's bared forehead, and Peridot couldn't help shuddering. Because that palm was so warm and so honest and so perfect. She was left cold when it departed.

"Thanks, Peri," Lapis murmured.

And Peridot could only watch in silence as she was left alone once again.