A/N: Been a while, sorry about that guys, life's a royal b**ch when she chooses to be haha. Anyway, this chapter is from BOTH Lapis' and Peri's views. Also, working on editing the next chapter as this one is being posted. That'll be up Thursday, no excuses!

Thanks guys! Enjoy! -Sara

Peridot's POV:

She was being driven up the wall. Figuratively, of course, but dammit! After everything, the awkward rendezvous with Lapis, the cold and lonely walk home, the earful she got from her mother about tracking wet footprints through the house, it all just seemed to cave in. She spent the next day fiercely practicing her chords, desperate to ease her mind into the comfort of concentration.

Because things were normal when she listened to the notes she played. Things were just okay when her mother stared her down, nodding her head in approval only once after a difficult piece. And that normalcy and that infinite loop of 'just okay' were enough when everything else was too crazy.

Amethyst called her several times, texted when she didn't receive an answer. Something about not being in school the next couple of days and hoping Peridot was doing fine.

And Peri was fine. Just fine. Perfect, in fact, as long as she didn't think about anything aside from the sheet music directly before her eyes. It was only when the music ended and she was flipping a page or pausing to gather her bearings that things went downhill. Because then Lapis slipped into her mind like a breeze through an open window. A window that severely needed to be shut and locked. Maybe the curtains even needed to be drawn.

The hours ticked by. Her mother came and went through the house, then left her alone as three rolled around. And Peri's stiffening back and tired fingers forced her to give up, to stand, to let the suddenly overbearing silence weigh down like a wave against her shoulders. She hated it, going so far as to hum to herself irritably as she headed to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

It didn't help. Nothing helped. Because she found her hand subconsciously touching at that spot on her forehead where Lapis' fingers had brushed. She found herself blinking and staring into the eternal blue of unreal eyes. She found herself shaking as the ghost of a whisper crossed her cheek, her lips, promising endless torment.

Why? Why couldn't she chalk it up to nothing? Why was Lapis like a poison swimming in her veins, burning her, cursing her, killing her from the inside out? Why the hell did she care so fucking much, anyways?

She didn't realize she was shaking again until her glass of water slipped from trembling fingertips, catching the edge of the counter she'd been standing before, toppling to the floor by her feet.

The glass didn't break, somehow, but the cool liquid sloshed against her bare toes and made her yelp, jumping back unexpectedly, stumbling slightly. Her eyes were wide as the daydream she'd lost herself within snapped, reality like a rubber band tugging her back in. How she hated it.

"Great," she muttered, running a hand over her face, pushing her glasses up out the way to rub at her eyes. A sigh stuck in the back of her throat and she resigned to grabbing the hand towel laid meticulously across the counter. "God, what's wrong with me?!"

A rhetorical question. But it hung in the air like a knife poised before her bleeding heart regardless.

She'd never been big on amusement parks. Sure, they were fun and all for the tourists that made a habit of stopping when they got to Beach City, and the younger children found entertainment in the arcade and more exciting rides, but eventually the shine wears away. You grow to realize that all the booths are rigged, that winning those (mostly stupid) prizes is near impossible. You realize that you've grown up, and games like that just aren't appealing anymore.

But that didn't mean she couldn't hang out there a while.

It was a Sunday, which meant almost no one would be around and she had most of the entirety of the boardwalk to just think. Okay.. so maybe it wasn't the best idea, but the thought that maybe this whole thinking thing was kind of necessary was dawning on her. After all, she'd spent the majority of the night and all this morning trying not to think. And that wasn't getting her anywhere productive. At all.

Honestly, it had probably just made her worry and stress more. And she did that enough on her own without having to worry about someone else and what said person was trying (and possibly even succeeding) to do to her.

Mr Smiley waved at her as she passed one of the ring toss booths, a tall, almost intimidating man that was actually nothing more that a gentle giant. She nodded once in his direction, kept walking. Conversation wasn't her strong suite at all, even more so right now.

Peridot found a comfortable spot just outside the line of booths, a shady area overlooking the sea that smelled strongly of sea salt and cotton candy. A gentle breeze was picking up, ruffling her casual t-shirt as she sat cross-legged on the cooled concrete walkway. She breathed in deep, and simply stared out.

Out into a blue that.. rivaled that of Lapis' ironically heated eyes. Her gaze caught on a wave that was brushing up, frothing, burning like.. the way Lapis' fingers had scorched her skin not seventeen hours previous. Her breath caught on the fresh air, much like.. how her lungs had seized when Lapis had leaned in teasingly last night.

Peridot blinked. And blinked again.

And then she burying her face in her hands, glasses digging into the bridge of her nose, lids slamming shut as she tried mercilessly to rid herself of those thoughts. Because they weren't right, they weren't her. She didn't even like Lapis. She didn't even like women, for Christ's sake! This was so stupidly stupid and annoying and not at all normal and-

A tap on her shoulder.

She yelped, jumped, head whipping around to face whoever had interrupted her moment. She hadn't even realized she had started crying until she blinked and the haziness to her sight didn't go away and she felt something warm and wet glide down her cheek. She didn't bother trying to wipe it away even as she faced the girl behind her, though. There wasn't any reason to, really.

"Peri?" Fuck. Just... fuck. Fuck everything. Fuck the universe, fuck her life, fuck the way nothing ever went right.

"Why?" she choked out, and it was more than her throat, her body could handle because she was suddenly convulsing and jerking away from that touch and praying to some long since forgotten sea god that the ocean would just come drag her away, into its dark and endless jaws.

The girl behind her sighed, crouched down, and she felt the brush of a shoulder against her arm as the figure dipped to settle in beside her. A shiver hit her every time their skin brushed, almost drowned out by the shaking her body was suddenly convulsing through to try and keep from sobbing like the baby she so felt like being right then.

Her teeth ground almost painfully in her mouth, her throat closing off everything that wasn't air, lungs even nearly rejecting that the way they spasmed and threatened to shut down.

And Lapis could only watch, brows furrowed, hand poised uncertainly above a shaking knee. She wanted to comfort, knew this was all her fault and that she needed to help. But she didn't know how. And Peridot didn't know what to tell her. And so they just sat, and Peri cried, and Lapis waited.

And waited.

Peridot couldn't remember the last time she'd cried like this. So openly, so vulnerably, in front of someone that wasn't her cat or some stupid stuffed alien figure she'd gotten from Amethyst's younger brother. She couldn't remember it ever feeling this okay. And that was the thing.

It was okay. It was okay when it shouldn't have been okay. Because it was Lapis. And everything Lapis did was okay. Even when it shouldn't have been. Even when it threatened to uproot her from the Earth she'd planted herself in almost a decade before. Even when it hinted at overthrowing the very beliefs she'd grown to need.

And she realized something even more unsettling in that moment, when she half looked to Lapis and the breath in her throat stilled for a reason so very different from before.

She realized that she didn't mind.

And that was the scariest thought she'd ever had in her life.

Lapis' POV:

It surprised her that Peridot could openly cry like this. In front of her. She'd figured the blonde to be more reserved with things like that. The aggressive way she presented herself spoke volumes, so this bumbling ball of tears and hiccups was new and, in a way, exciting.

Lapis had to admit... She kind of adored it. Because she knew it couldn't have been easy, but it was happening, and she respected that Peridot trusted her, or perhaps didn't even care enough anymore, to show her this side. She silently vowed to treasure it, even as she wracked her mind desperately to find something that would cheer the girl up.

She wasn't good at that sort of thing. Being the person that she was, it just came natural to do the whole 'pat on your shoulder, "cheer up"' thing. Never worked, of course, but she could say she tried. Well... sorta?

But this. This was different. And Lapis found herself wondering if hugging the girl would be too weird, or maybe just a half-hug thing with less contact. Or maybe she should just start speaking and hope Peridot settled down. Or mayb-

"You're gonna strain yourself, thinking that hard," a raspy voice cut through her thoughts.

Her gaze jerked down, taking in the still shaking blonde by her side. But there was a (rather forced, obviously) smirk playing at pink lips, and red-rimmed eyes met hers without hesitance. It was her turn to feel the breath stick in her lungs, mind suddenly very unaware of what it should do.

They looked between each other, rather awkwardly but unflinching, and Peridot shook her head slowly. Her fingers twitched, Lapis noticed, in her lap. Played against one another. Anything to ease the tension so obviously freezing her muscles.

"Why?" There was that question again, low and unsettled and so very open. Lapis didn't know where to begin, where to search for the answers to such a thing. She doubted she even knew.

"Why what?" she settled at last, tearing her gaze from fluid emerald, knowing that if she kept looking she'd never want to leave. She'd get lost in those eyes, she'd lose herself. It was too easy a thing to do.

Peridot chose silence then, if only long enough to gather her own thoughts. A stray strand of hair brushed against her temple, and Lapis had the almost uncontrollable urge to push it back when her searching eyes found it. She did refrain though, by some unearthly miracle.

"Why are we here?" Peri finally asked, voice pleading yet hauntingly empty. "Why are we doing this?"

Lapis couldn't help the sigh that escaped her. She caught the way the blonde glanced up at her, but she forced her eyes out across the endless expanse of sea.

The sea. That was something she knew. Something she trusted. Something she believed in when everything else in the world didn't make sense. The water was always there. Always consistent and offering and unaffected.

"Do you believe in fate?" she in turn asked, brows furrowing as a slight jostle caused a wave to form unhindered. She wasn't sure why she asked.

A hesitant beat passed. Then, "No." Simple. No explanation, no purpose. Just the truth.

Lapis swallowed uneasily, clenching a fist against her thigh. "Well... I do. And maybe that's stupid. But it just seems like a lot of things happen for specific reasons. I don't like the thought that we're just all here. That we don't have a purpose. That everything we do and everyone we meet is random and doesn't matter."

Something lodged in her throat, breaking her voice. She couldn't get anything else out after that. Not that she had to, really.

Peridot clammed up then, and her legs shifted so she was cross-legged and half facing Lapis. One of her hands came out to grip Lapis' fist gently. But her eyes stayed away, and even when Lapis gave her a look of shock and confusion, she didn't move. Didn't blink.

Her lips moved softly though, and her whisper was almost a ghost. Almost lost. "It's not stupid. Nothing about you is stupid."

Lapis could only catch her breath. Could only swallow down the lump threatening to break way into a sob. Could only force her fist to relax, to turn. Their palms touched, and neither flinched.

They only sat there in silence. And that was okay.

It was okay.