Tokyo Ghoul and all its affiliated characters are property of Sui Ishida.

Everything else is of my sole ownership, imagination, creativity and property.

A very long time has passed since I updated. Behold! Extreme Japanese Groveling.

Chapter 33
Wake

"What do you call a war for a treasure that potentially…doesn't exist?" Uta asked in the room looking out the window as he turned to look at his girlfriend who was in the bed asleep.

Itori wiped her cheek taking the cloth as she dipped it in the pale of hot water rinsing it before continuing to clean Kaisa who had fallen asleep not too long ago.

"A pointless battle." She mumbled wiping Kaisa's fingers. "Additionally for the record, she does exist."

Uta's plain expression changed into one of concern."I never said she didn't."

"You implied that-"

"You're losing your sense of sound. I said potentially." He gave her a small innocent smile walking back to the bed sitting in it as he looked at her.

"I would feel angry but I just feel sorry for you." Itori said as the sound and taste of disgust lashed and coiled in her voice like a poisonous snake. "She basically discarded you. You have nothing. Boastfully you believed she would run into your open arms. Fuck your fairy tale. You got utterly fucked over like a pile of shit."

He blinked looking at her as he didn't even look upset. Instead, you could see small signs of shock, confusion and pondering. "Well…that's an interesting way of putting it."

She looked at him, no- glared- "you have the fucking guts to even-"

"Enough."

His voice eliminated any further remarks. He was tired. He was exhausted and most of all he was sick and tired of walking in on their arguments.

"Aogiri Tree doesn't seem to know her current state and that she might not make it. While they are in the dark we have seen sights of their members lurking very closely. The plan to leak word to the CCG had worked as they are convinced that a plan to attack is soon to come. Also...they are unaware that Kaisa is in this state and that we are protecting her."

"This might become troublesome…very troublesome." Uta mumbled seeing the outcome of how even though the greatest odds where in their favor; they were still balancing on thin ice.

"If they were to find out that the valuable trophy piece was no longer credential they might back off." Itori said as it was worth saying out loud. What was the point of kidnapping her if she was basically brain-dead or in nicer terms sleeping beauty.

"I wouldn't say so. Keep in mind the high target is Uta." Renji murmured going to the table in the corner of the room and pouring himself a glass of water. "Itori it's your watch. I also need time alone to discuss a matter with Uta."

Itori looked up at him raising an eyebrow as he gave her the 'leave now' look.

She turned to Kaisa leaning over as she kissed her forehead looking at her one last time before raising and taking the water with her.

"Renji…I think that you might be falling in love with her."

Renji looked at Uta. Did he see that coming? Did he see Uta saying that as soon as Itori left the room?

"No emotions?" Uta continued, "Maybe you have spent too much time around me and picked up my traits, but you know I'm not talking about Itori. Actually…"

"Stop"

"Actually…in this scenario…it's the other way around. Itori secretly without even realizing it…is very close to you- and I…" He walked up to Renji as even if the male figure was larger than him in muscle mass, deep inside not a single strand of fear and intimidation stirred within him. "…I have the woman that you love."

Renji stepped forward closing in on him as you could see now that saying that out loud- was too far.

"Kaisa is nothing but a very…close friend."

Uta looked at him and then grinned as it was followed by a snicker. More and more that face he managed to hold and control for so many years was cracking as now his true self was slowly being revealed. "Is-Is that what you tell yourself to sleep at night?" He feigned wiping a tear from his eye as the thought alone was far too amusing. He walked over to her as he watched her sleep looking at her face. "Humans. I find them even more intriguing than your feelings. They carry on so well when their own kind kills, rapes, sells and ravishes its own community. Amusing isn't it."

"Look at you. All it took was rejection and you can't even hold yourself together. It's been a while since I've seen your true colors Uta. What was it- the rejection, the fact that she was disgusted, the betrayal of your only love turning on you. You should be used to it by now- no one loves you…no one." Renji said this knowing he hit a nerve. Itori wasn't here so he could bring up the past, plus he surely wasn't going to allow Uta to be serving him so many rude remarks.

"No flashbacks." He said as he sat at the bed side and touched her watching her relax even more at the feeling of his touch. She said such rude things earlier that deep inside….it frightened him. What was wrong with her, why would she act like this? She knew he would be consumed by despair if he really would never have the chance to touch her even as small as this. She suffered so long when they were apart but even he had suffered too. He had become so fond of her that even he….even him with all the history of madness and his un-sensational, secluded and twisted personality, wickedness, crimes and notorious in every single Ward was moved by such a fiction feeling to him called…love.

"You will never have her" Renji said as he watched Uta's hand freeze in the movement on her face.

"Renji-"

"You will never have her. You will never get to hold her, you will never get to be with her, you will never get to sleep with her, you will never get to touch her, kiss her, lay with her or even to hear the sound of her voice. Not to feel the touch of her skin, the sound of her voice or even to have her eyes as much as meet with yours."

Renji's eyes went black as the piercing red pupils glared murderously at Uta as you felt the anger from him. His muscles tightened and the veins in his neck stood up as around him slowly appeared a floating red mist that circulated slowly. He would draw his weapon here and now.

Uta. He watched. He rose up as he began to crack his finger walking to the man who was ready to fight him as he didn't want to believe what his own ears just heard. "You think…you can stop me from having what I want?"

Renji stood his place as he was more than playing with fire here. He knew that beyond the fire was a demon that he had annoyed, and here before him it answered to his actions responding to his annoyance as it was prepared to show him exactly who the fuck he was talking to.

"I get whatever I want. I take anything I want. Whatever is mine will forever be mine. I can have- anything and everything I want."

Oh hell yes this was the Uta he knew. This was the Uta he spared with many years ago over the leadership of the 4th ward. The Uta who back then was sharing the same level with him when it came to strength, fighting and power.

"Aren't you going to fight with your little knives?"

"An old rival like you deserves my fist…an old rival like you deserve my kagune. That way- I can fucking kill you for good."

"S-Stop…"

Itori was downstairs on watch as he heard the sound and the scent of CCG around the area. It was a smart move to make but it put them at risk as well. Suddenly from nowhere there was a burst of immense blood lust as she felt her skin immediately get clouded with goosebumps and the hair on her neck stood straight. She ran up the stairs as she wondered what in the fuck would cause this to happen. This wasn't just renji- this was Uta. What the fuck was Renji thinking drawing him out like this when Uta was literally an untamed animal from hell who would literally rip at anything that stood in his path. Surprisingly for so long even if he had it hidden so perfectly well they all knew that he would never change.

She opened the door as she came in on both of them with a strange expression.

"Wh-what happened?" She questioned as she closed the door behind her looking at their faces as they looked like they had seen a ghost.

Renji took a deep breath as he stepped towards her,"Kaisa spoke."

"Wh-What!" She ran to the bed as she looked at the human who was still asleep but she was mumbling.

"K-Kaisa wake up! Kaisa fight it and wake up! Kaisa!"

Renji grabbed her pulling her up as he tried not to grip her too strong as she began fighting back. "Itori what are you doing you can't do that if she is in a coma!"

Uta looked over at the two then he turned away looking at the wall as he slowly looked down to his hands. What the hell was that?! He was literally geared up a while ago and prepared to go all the way when just at the sound of her voice his body instinctively stopped. He felt his heart beating so fast as he touched his chest gripping his shirt.

What was happening to him? What was really happening to him? He knew he liked her but this was going beyond 'like' here. What was even worse was that because renji threatened him on taking her away from him…he was prepared to fight with all he had.

This is crazy. This is extremely crazy. He was in love with her at this point and even though he knew it, part of him didn't want to admit it. The dark and vicious part.

He was changing.

I felt like I was drowning under water. Like someone was holding me down. Why couldn't my eyes open? Wait….I can open my eyes!

I opened my eyes as I looked up and saw that I was really under water. Wait….I can't breathe. I tried to move my hands as my body didn't even feel like its own. I tried so hard but they were so heavy. Kaisa try…try! I felt it. My head was going dizzy. I was under water and something more was preventing me from breathing. I looked more closely as I saw someone above the water looking at me. His hands were in the water as well…who was he? Why won't he help me? I'm drowning- am I going to die?

"Kaisa! Wake up!"

Wait…that voice? Its….I know it but I can't remember her name…..its….it's Itori?

Ahh!

My vision!

It's getting blurry!

Why won't he help me and why is it getting harder to breathe! My hands slowly moved as they came to my neck- wait….no…he is chocking me under the water!

Fight! Fight Kaisa!

I fussed and began kicking and thrashing I wouldn't die! I will never die! I can't! I can't ever die because….

Because…

Suddenly I felt the sun on my face as my body felt warm and light. I felt the breeze rustle though my hair and the warm chill hugging my skin. The air smelt nice. It smelled sweet- Lilies, English-Marigold, Lavender and Roses. Why did I feel so light- and so small?

"Kaya-chan you're not going to make it if you keep stopping~"

That voice…it's so pretty…it so soft. My eyes watered at the sound this voice. This voice I miss so badly…this voice it makes my entire heart ache. I look around as I see myself in a garden. Slowly I turned around as I saw someone bigger than me far away and she is waiting with open arms at the exit.

"Kaya chan don't you wanna show papa your pretty painting?"

The tears rolled down my cheek as I look down in my hands and I can't even see her face but I know…I know that woman is my mother. I looked into my hands to see a picture. There was a big house with a red roof, this wasn't a house it was like…a mansion…there was mommy…and daddy…and me….and someone else. A woman.

The world begins spinning and .

I look back up and realize she is farther away. No- mom! Wait I'm coming! I moved my legs and started running but she still seems far away. Running with this huge painting was hard but I needed to show my father. I needed to reach to her. No…I needed to see her. I dropped the painting trying to move faster as suddenly I was dragged out of my memory and thrown back into the reality where I was being chocked under water. The water was getting clouded with blood and I was starting to die.

That's right…I couldn't die because someone was waiting on me. Someone is waiting for me so I will never die until I see her. I kicked harder as I clawed at his hand digging my nails under his skin.

Fight.

Fight.

Fight!

I rose up coming out the water as I slowly came up inhaling sharply as his hand released my neck and I could finally breathe. I opened my eyes staring at the ceiling above me as I saw before me Itori who was shocked with awe looking at me her eyes wide open. Then...there was renji…he was covered in blood. Why- why was he covered in blood?

My body felt heavy like someone was holding me. I looking down and saw even more blood. The blood was on my… I felt my mouth to see that it was coming from inside me…am I bleeding inside. I tried to catch my breath feeling the heaviness on me relax as my hands moved to my waist where I felt someone's hand around me. My finger slowly touched the skin as it too was pasted with my blood. My fingers followed as I relaxed feeling the support behind me. This smell…this feeling… this touch. I looked up seeing him looking down at me as I looked into his eyes. What…what was he doing behind me holding me like this?

I looked into his eyes as they never left mine. What's wrong? He looked…concerned?

"Ka-Kaisa?" Itori rose up and slowly walked away as she kept her hands in a precaution position trying to calm me down but I wasn't upset. Why was she doing that?

Wait…

Her entire neck was covered in blood. I could see the flesh torn as the blood slowly seeped out and stained her entire shoulder and shirt. Who-who did that?

I swallowed and nearly choked as a lumpy thing went midway and I began going into a coughing fit till it came back up.. My mouth was full of blood and there was a stinging feeling. Almost like it had been hidden for some time, the pain literally burst out of nowhere with great agony.

It hurts so bad!

"Ahhhh! Hubbbhh!"

I kicked as the pain was alarmingly high. My tongue! I bit off the tip of my own tongue!

"Kaisa relax you need to control the bleeding so you don't bleed out." Uta said as his grip on me didn't loosen one bit considering he was holding me very tightly. "Think of the pain. And imagine it- imagine the condition and try to heal it. Try to fix it like you're making it go away. That- that is how you heal a wound when you're a ghoul."

I kicked and fussed I just wanted it to stop it was a horrible feeling. The tears didn't stop rolling down my cheeks as I couldn't bear it any longer.

My eyes burned with the saltiness from my tears but my tongue was much worse. I curled and kicked at the sheets while Uta had me restrained as I literally balled my fucking eyes out feeling like someone filled gasoline in my mouth and set it on fire.

Like- a numbing aching sharp stinging feeling that was continuously climbing and not stopping or pausing for a bit. I couldn't think clearly or listen or even care I just wanted it to stop!

This was all my blood. I bit my own tongue? Was I the one that attacked Itori?

Why would I do something like that why would I attack her out of nowhere?

"Kaisa heal yourself or else you will die from blood loss" Renji said , "Listen to what Uta says. Visualize the pain, just feel it and tell yourself you want it to go away. I promise you- it will go away!"

"I cah halkk" (I can't talk)

"ing honing ha hi" (I'm gonna die)

Tears rolled down my cheek as I couldn't bear the pain and I could feel black circles slowly coming around my vision. I'm gonna pass out.

Uta's grip suddenly tightened and he turned me halfway around to face him."Kaisa! Listen to me. Do it- Do it now!"

His voice was so loud that my mind went blank. Uta…he shouted at me.

My chest tightened as I swallowed choking on my own blood as I could barely breathe. I tried…I kept trying and it felt like it wasn't working.

Think of the pain….

Think of the pain…

I gasped feeling it suddenly disappear as my tongue mostly felt numb. I moved my finger slowly to my mouth as I touched the inside feeling my tongue. It was there. It grew back.

I turned fully into Uta hugging him as I felt his arms loosening around me. I felt so scared why would I do that to myself? One minute I was drowning and then I was with my mother and now I attacked Itori.

I cried in his arms as I felt renji pull the sheet off me as it was a bloody mess.

"Shit, the entire room smells of blood." Itori hissed as she slowly walked to the window making a check.

"We need to quickly clean up." Renji said as he threw the sheet in a bag.

"As long as we open no windows then we are okay. This place is built from ghouls so they can't track the scent of blood." Uta said as I felt the vibration in his chest as he spoke. The sound of his voice was so alluring as I felt the tears roll aside on my face. I missed him. Something inside my body longed for him.

"Uta…" I gripped his shirt in my fingers as my eyes welled up in tears even more as the memories gathered. "I can't remember anything, I…my head hurt and everything is so confusing." I mumbled as my memories felt like broken shards of glasses that fell to the floor and pricked me every time I tried to put them together.

He looked down at me as I looked up to his face and felt the tears come a little harder. I couldn't recall everything word for word but I know I missed him like crazy; I wanted to hold him like this forever even though I had this discomfort in me. Maybe because I had such a traumatic experience my memory was foggy? My head ached just trying to remember it as it felt like someone had a screwdriver turning it slowly through my head and into my brain just trying to dig up the thoughts.

But it's okay.

He is basically all I need.

That's Why I Love Him.

Wow, She finally wakes up. She has been sleeping for 17 months now. I have been busy but I'm trying. But I will try harder. Hope you all enjoyed. It might be a little shorter than what your used to but its better than nothing.

Thank you for your reviews. It strengthened me.

~Universal Sweetheart