A/N: Well...the next time I'll be updating this story is next year. I was going to update it on the 31st but I highly doubt I will get a chance. Happy New Years everyone!
The first thing Rhodey noted as he stepped into the familiar mansion was the silence that greeted him. The AI ordinarily greeted him with a witty 'hello' and sometimes even went as far as to comment on his attire. But this time only silence welcomed him as he announced himself through the microphone at the door. The door unlocked on its own accord after a few moments and he assumed Tony had seen him from one of his cameras one way or another.
There was never telling what new inventions were upgraded to the mansion when Tony was concerned.
He expected Tony's voice to radiate through the speakers but he was met with silence again. He frowned as he made his way toward the lounge, ready for an unknown attack of some sorts. But the scene before him seemed untouched, relaxed even and homely. The chairs were neatly tucked under the dining table and the Christmas tree still stood tall at the corner of the lounge. A line of toys were lined up beside the tree and he was sure Jared had a fantastic time opening those presents.
He doubted that Tony would have endeavoured to entertain Pepper in the bedroom seeing as it was still school holidays and Jared was most definitely at home. Pepper, he noted would be at Stark Industries and he was sure that the only other place where father and son were surely be hiding is the workshop.
He pulled his jacket tighter around himself as if to reassure himself that everything was perfectly okay before he descended the steps. His military training always taught him how to react in moments like this and he used every ounce of his training to ensure his safety. He rounded the corner, careful to take a quick glimpse before he let his body follow and the sight that touched his eyes froze him.
"-according to these diagrams, this is how babies are formed..."
He glanced, startled at the comical diagrams printed on the board and a very resolute boy sitting at a desk looking at them as if they were the new latest blue prints to one of his father's inventions. He turned his eyes to Tony who stood there in all of his glory with a hand touching his beard and the other lazily draped across the workbench.
"Alright well...that's basically it," Tony murmured uncomfortably, "Jarvis, diagrams off..." he heard Tony's instruction and decided it was time he made his entrance.
"Sir, during your unconventional lesson for this topic, Colonel Rhodes arrived. I was unable to greet him due to the excessive amount of usage of my processes while you classed Jared however I did take the liberty to let him in," Jarvis announced before he could even raise a hand and wave at Tony.
"Rhodey?" Tony mustered, "What brings you here on this fine day?"
"Uh...not much really, I just-"
"Hello, Uncle Rhodey," Jared mumbled quietly before he turned back to the paper sitting before him.
"Sup Jared," he greeted politely before motioning to Tony with his eyes.
Tony swiftly walked across the room and murmured something to Jared who looked completely puzzled as he glanced down to the papers before him again.
"What's up?"
"What was that all about?"
"What? Oh...you mean the diagrams?"
"Isn't he a bit too young to learn about the birds and the bees?"
"Yes...and no, you see-"
"Does Pepper even know?"
"Yes but-"
"Yes? And she agreed to let you teach him about-"
"It's not my fault, she's-"
"Are you absolutely out of your mind?"
"No, I just-"
"Daddy," Jared whined and haphazardly thumped the desk in what it seemed to be frustration, "I still don't understand how mummy became pregnant."
He blinked and the realisation hit him like a hurling ball of fire. "Pepper's pregnant?"
"Yes and-"
"And you were trying to-"
"Christ, Rhodey," Tony exclaimed and blinked at him. "Would you like shut up for a moment and let me finish?"
"You showed him diagrams?" he ignored Tony completely and narrowed his eyes.
"What's wrong with diagrams?"
"He's six years old..."
"And? It wasn't explicit and I even told Pepper I'd explain it in a very G-rated way."
"Tony," he regarded his friend seriously, "Diagrams are hardly G-Rated."
"It's the human body Rhodey, I don't see what's so explicit about it," Tony remarked sharply, "It isn't like I showed him pornographic images or anything."
"I still don't understand," Jared added in bluntly.
"Maybe your mother would have been better at explaining this," Tony sighed, his tone defeated as he ran a hand over his face.
"It just doesn't make sense," Jared murmured and glanced at the diagram.
He sighed and pointed firmly at Tony, "Let me handle this."
"By all means, be my guest."
He glared for a moment at Tony before he walked toward Jared and kneeled down.
"It basically works like this," he started, "Your father planted a seed into your mummy's stomach and now the seed is growing and your mummy is pregnant."
"Oh..."
He smirked amused at Tony's baffled expression.
"Next time, I'll let your mother handle things like this..." Tony muttered.
"So does that mean my baby brother or sister will be a plant?" Jared asked innocently.
He sighed and wondered why he decided to visit the Stark residence.