Chapter 6
He helped her out of her coat and tossed it over the chair, with his. "Did you eat?" he asked.
She nodded. She had eaten, but only a little. Then someone had used the microwave in the break room to reheat their leftover fish dinner, and she'd run for the bathroom.
He sat down with her, and she was surprised to see, instead of anger, worry. "You don't look so good," he noted.
"Thanks. Can we get on with this?" she snapped.
He frowned, then, and sat back, wondering how and where to start. "I don't want you to abort," he said. "Please. Don't."
Her face was contorted with pain. "You don't know all the details."
What the hell did that mean?! "Then fill me in," he commanded.
"The baby… could have Downs Syndrome."
He tapped his fingertips against the edge of the table and thought about that. "Because of your age?" he asked.
She nodded. "And there was..a test."
"It's certain, then?" he asked, sounding slightly panicked.
"No, it's not certain. It's just… an indicator, they told me."
"So maybe not?"
Alex shrugged.
"But they have a way to find out for sure, right?"
"Amnio. But they don't do that until 15 weeks. That's too late for an abortion."
"I don't want you to abort."
"You said that." She glared at him. "Are you prepared to raise a child with special needs, Bobby? I'm not sure we'd make the best parents for any child, much less one with special needs."
He sighed and clamped his hand over his mouth. "You're right, I'm not prepared… for any of it."
Suddenly, she was afraid he'd tell her to abort, and she really didn't think she could do it.
He reached down and picked up her hands in his. "Your hands are… like ice," he said, enveloping them with his own and warming them. "Alex… this child was… was conceived in love. It doesn't matter to me if it's not perfect. God knows I'm not."
Silent tears dripped from the tip of her nose. She nodded.
"Lewis says I'm afraid of change," Bobby continued. "Alex, I… I want this." He squeezed her hands in his. "I want you. And I'll… I'll try my best to be here for you. I just… I… don't know if my best will be enough."
She broke down, and he moved to her side of the table and scooped her into his arms. Bobby held her as she cried, closing his eyes and kissing her hair. He was on the verge of crying, too, but he kept it bottled up.
When they returned to 1PP, Bobby had his hand on the small of her back. Logan, and half a dozen other people, noticed the change in them immediately. Bobby helped her out of her coat and she sat down and got right to work.
An hour later, Bobby had noticed they were being watched. "You've got something brewing with Logan?" he asked her quietly.
"Mike?" she said, looking up. "He's been… keeping my mind off things."
Bobby wasn't quite sure how to take this. He wrestled with his jealousy for a moment. "You, uh… you gonna tell him to back off?"
"What?" Alex blinked. "Bobby, it's nothing like that."
"Still…"
"I think he'll figure it out," she said, and went back to typing on her computer.
Bobby decided to take a break. He marched out of the squad room and down the hall. Alex was relieved he hadn't stopped by Mike's desk.
Logan saw his chance. "You okay?"
"Yeah. We're… working things out."
"Good. That's good," he said. "Alex, you know… I'm always here if you need me."
She smiled. "Thanks, Mike. For everything."
He simply nodded, and as he began to walk back to his desk, Goren was on his way back. They stared each other down, like two bulls squaring off. Bobby sat down at his desk, opening the bottom button of his suit coat as he did so. "Did you tell him?"
"More or less."
"More or less."
"Yeah, Bobby, don't worry about it."
He did worry about it. He'd been virtually out of the picture for three weeks. Anything could have happened between them. Still, he trusted Alex. She wouldn't lie to him. He tried to shove his feelings aside. "I… uh, I have to go to the shop tonight. Lewis was working on the mustang, he told me to come pick it up."
"Okay."
"So I'll be home late."
"Okay."
"I am coming home, right?"
She stared at him. "Of course."
"Oh. Good."
"Good."
Bobby helped Lewis put the finishing touches on the car. As they closed the hood, he announced, "We're back together. We're uhm… gonna try to…"
"I'm glad, Bobby. Really, I am."
Bobby huffed a laugh as he spoke, "I'm gonna be a father, Lewis. Do you believe that?!"
One side of his friend's mouth curled up. "Congratulations, Bobby. You'll make a hell of a Dad."
"I uh… I don't know what the hell I'm doing."
"Nobody ever does. But at least you know what NOT to do."
"Your Dad, he was great."
"Yeah. He was a great Dad."
"Maybe I can try to be like him."
"Just be yourself, Bobby. Your kid will love you."
"Kids love everybody." Whether they deserve it or not.
Lewis clapped his hand on his friend's shoulder. "You worry too much. Just try to enjoy it, would ya?" He gave Bobby a hug. "Look, call me when you get home, tell me how she did. And give Alex my best."
"Sure. Thanks, Lewis." He climbed in and gave the engine a rev just because he knew it would make Lewis smile.
He shook off the cold and stood breathing in the comforting scent of home. The living area was mostly dark. She'd left a couple of lights on for him. She was always thoughtful that way.
Bobby hung his coat in the closet. He found hers draped over a chair and hung it up, too. After a quick drink in the kitchen, where he easily determined what she'd had for dinner, he clicked off the light and headed down the hall to the bedroom.
She'd left a light on for him there, too. How she could sleep with a light on, he'd never know. He always had to pull the covers over his head or something. He stripped down to his shorts, made a quick trip to the bathroom, and found himself standing by the bed, staring down at her.
He was overwhelmed by his love for her. He climbed into bed slowly, trying not to disturb her sleep, but he couldn't keep from touching her. He scooted in close and draped his arm over her, finding her hand with his fingers.
"Car okay?" she asked.
"Mmm Hmmm." He answered, and realized he'd forgotten to call Lewis. She sighed against him and he caressed her hand. Lewis could wait.
She settled back into sleep quickly, and Bobby remembered reading about the first trimester and weariness. Gently, he slid his hand up to rest on her belly. He didn't know if they had a chance, the three of them, but he was damned sure going to try.