I keep fighting my inner demons just like Emma does in this fanfiction. Writing it out helps a lot. I don't know what exactly I've done here but this is what came out. I hope you will enjoy reading. Please, let me know in your reviews what you think. Xox.
Take Less Of Me, Give Me More Of You
In the darkest hour,
when I cannot breathe.
Fear is on my chest,
the weight of the world on me.
Everything is crashing down,
everything I had known.
When I wonder if I'm all alone...
Feeling like she wasn't herself any more, a total stranger even in her own home. As the final battle was approaching Emma Swan was slowly losing her own mind, various thoughts were haunting her.
Checking the clock again Emma decided to leave the bed she shared with Killian. He was sleeping soundly and didn't even notice her leaving.
She couldn't sleep.
Again.
Losing the count of how many nights she has spent sitting by the open window looking at Storybrooke, Emma simply added this night to the many before. Tonight she felt different. Something told her that this night would finally be the night when everything falls in place. As if her life tried to persuade her to come to terms with everything just before she dies. To make amends, to forgive, to love, to do the right thing before it's too late. Her time was limited and she felt the weight of it on her chest. Having troubles breathing Emma walked down the stairs to make herself a cup of tea to warm up her body. It was summer time, the night temperature was high but her body was frozen. Another flash of the battle stroke, making her body shake. It took her a moment to bring herself back to the reality.
Closing her eyes Emma sipped from the tea cup, enjoying the warmth of the hot liquid filling her body. She was a wreck. How was she supposed to fight the hooded man? Everyone believed in her, in her ability to defeat every darkness coming her way but she couldn't find a single flicker of belief in herself. Confused, lost, empty, these were the feelings she has been fighting against during the last few days. With each day it got harder and harder to summon her strength to pick up the imaginary sword to respond to the hooded man in the dreadful fight.
Emma relied on her instincts, she was ready to fight, to die in order to protect her loved ones. Henry, her son, her parents, Regina …
Emma jumped at this thought. Why did Regina fill her thought? Her heart belonged to Killian, she shared a house with him, they were a family, him, Henry and she. Wasn't she just pretending because she was afraid of the true feelings she carried in her heart? Closing her eyes again to take another sip of the hot tea, Regina's face appeared in front of her. Her heart skips a beat and tears fill the green eyes. Not just once thrse feelings have overwhelmed her and everytime it happened she decided to ignore them. There was no point in pursuing them, at least not for her. She had no idea about what Regina felt for her. If she knew maybe she would change her approach.
Emotions of not being enough were flowing through her heart, her mind started playing tricks on her making her feel miserable. If she was destined to die she would die under her own conditions.
Emma put her red leather jacket on and left the house ignoring it was only 3 am in the morning. She wanted answers, she needed closure.
Her yellow bug took her to Regina's mansion. What surprised her was the fact that the light in Regina's bedroom was still on. Collecting all her courage she reached the front door, pressing lightly the door bell. After few seconds it opened revealing the brunette occupant of the house.
„Emma?" Regina gasped, looking surprised at the visitor.
„You can't sleep, hm?" Emma asked, smiling shyly.
„As much as you, I guess," Regina answered moving out of the doorway so Emma could walk inside.
„What brings you here?" Regina quizzed. Turning around connecting her eyes with the green orbs. There was a trace of desperation in Emma's look. Her beauty didn't disappear though.
She was broken.
Beautifully broken.
„I needed to see you," Emma confessed. Taking delicate steps Emma closed the distance between them. Lowering her gaze not to reveal how devastated, lost and full of doubts she was. Regina's finger landed on Emma's chin raising her head up so their eyes could meet again.
„I am here. How are you?" the brunette asked without breaking the eye contact.
„Please, remind me once again who I am, because I need to know," Emma whispered, tears running down her cheeks. Regina smiled pulling Emma into her arms. She squeezed the blonde tightly showing her the support Emma needed so desperately.
„Why me?" Regina whispered, holding Emma in the comfortable hug.
„You just seem to do just that everytime I need it," Emma's voice was almost lost in Regina's hair.
As much as Emma didn't want to admit it, Regina has become her solid ground. When everything around started shaking and falling apart, the brunette was always there to steady her.
„I am losing," Emma broke down, her knees weaker than ever before. Regina was holding her, preventing the woman from falling to the ground.
„What are you losing? The battle hasn't come yet," Regina's voice as soft as she could make it.
„The inner battle with my demons," Emma explained.
„Emma listen to me!" Regina decided to talk some sense to the blonde. Pulling away from Emma slightly to be able to see her eyes Regina put on a serious look. Emma froze.
„You are the strongest woman I've ever known. You will fight it." Trying to sound as certain as her voice and emotions allowed her, Regina squeezed Emma's hands in hers.
„You say I am strong when I think I am weak," Emma said, her voice shaking.
„That's the power of our mind. It plays tricks on us, it says things that aren't true and we actually believe they are." Thinking of ways to make Emma believe in herself again Regina was searching for words of support.
„You are not alone any more," she added, her fingers lightly caressing Emma's pale face.
„We will stand by your side till the end," Regina's words landed on Emma's lips as the blond inclined her head, aiming for the brunette's lips. Emma kissed Regina deeply, desperation present in the touch of their lips as if this kiss was everything she needed to believe in herself again.
Regina's words were somehow more believable for Emma, her embrace made her feel safe, her presence helped her out of the darkness that has been swallowing her.
„I am finally safe," Emma whispered against Regina's lips when they parted so they could catch up on breathing.
„I needed more of you and less of me," Emma said as her lips brushed against the brunette's.
„Take all of me, dear," Regina's voice light, almost inaudible. Connecting their lips again they both knew there was no need to explain anything, there was no shame, no pain. At least for now.
The End
