A/n: Originally posted 5-27-18

This is a really weird chapter. I didn't intend it to be like this, but I kinda just kept writing and writing about a certain topic. Most of it's about the fallout after the Timebreaker incident. It created a weird dissonance in Cat's mind. So sorry if that's not that exciting, I personally find it fascinating which is why it's so long I guess.. but I promise the next chapter will get back to the more normal parts of the story :) Thanks for reading!

.: Chapter 4 - Search :.

Shortly after the proposal, Marinette was overcome with even more emotion as her parents emerged from the crowd. She was crushed by her father and she giggled, oohed and aahed with her mother over the song, Luka, and the ring. Luka was on cloud nine, riffing with gusto on his solos, and really hamming it up for the remainder of the concert. The crowd approved, and the rest of the band indulged him with an almost sibling-like tolerance.

Tom and Sabine departed soon after it was over after meeting up with the couple backstage, with promises to have them over for dinner the moment Luka was back in town. Marinette deflated slightly but agreed. Luka clutched her hand lovingly as her parents' forms shrinked away, willing her to not feel sad.

"Victory shots!" the keyboardist shouted, breaking the mood, grinning lopsidedly. "We've got to toast my man Luka and his beautiful bride-to-be!" A round of chuckles scattered through the busy crew, band and their loved ones gathered backstage.

Luka squeezed Marinette. "Are you ready for tonight? The congratulations? The fans? The pictures.. And all the free booze you could want?"

"What, you need to get drunk to face the idea of marrying me, now that the reality has set in?" She teased. His expression was so troubled, and so suddenly that she had to laugh. "Awww, Luka! I was just joking."

He buried his face in her neck. "Good! Because you can't get rid of me, now! Never!"

She shrieked at his rough stubble, and both of them broke down into giggles.

The afterparty had gone late into the night, and though she had been to many before, this one was different. There was a festival feeling in the air. Everyone's spirits were elevated into an almost mania. The newly-engaged couple's good spirits were infectious. Luka had felt the need to buy everyone in the bar a round, after a few shots himself. He didn't often drink to excess, but he also didn't often get engaged, he figured.

Thankfully, miraculously, no one puked on the floor, got into a fight, or got kicked out of the bar. It was one for the history books. Marinette could tell everyone was trying to celebrate while still being respectful of Luka and herself. The mood was was rowdy but jovial.

The couple woke up pleasantly tangled together on Saturday morning, the next day. Though the band had a concert in Orléans Sunday and had to get on the road, they had stayed one more night, contrary to what Marinette had originally been told.

"Sorry, babe," Luka had said with a sheepish smile. "It was the only way we could keep it a surprise from you!"

She recalled the memory fondly, with a hint of sadness. He was gone now, and she was walking home in yesterday's outfit. After the euphoria of getting engaged, she felt suddenly hollow with Luka gone.

"These few months will fly by, Marinette," Tikki said cheerfully from her bag, sensing the woman's emotions. "You've got Fashion Week to look forward to, plus Jagged is coming to town soon," she smiled.

"That's right!" Marinette returned her Kwami's expression. "Thanks, Tikki."

After a long-overdue brunch with Alya - gushing over the ring, the photos, and the concert - Marinette felt refreshed. Her hangover headache was a shadow of its former self, and she finally felt she could concentrate enough to be productive.

The fashion designer was just finishing up her first complete piece for her Fall collection when it hit her like a bolt of lightning.

She had completely forgotten to transform for more than twenty-four hours!

Even though it seemed like overkill sometimes, Marinette liked to transform at least a few times a day to check her messages from Cat Noir. This would have been unthinkable prior to Hawk Moth's emergence, but it was the norm now. After being frustrated occasionally when Cat wasn't immediately available to help, she realized that she needed to be more available, too. There was no rhyme or reason to the akuma attacks. Thankfully, she hadn't missed one yet, but she worried that she might. At least we live in the modern era, Marinette thought - though it could be both a blessing and a curse. I don't see how Ladybugs of ages past managed to keep up on everything without the media reporting on every little detail.

Checking her messages, she saw six texts and one voicemail from Cat Noir. Her heart sped up. That was a lot, even for him. Something must be wrong.

Voicemail: dated, Friday, at 17:30.

"Ladybug," Cat's voice was strained. "I - please, I don't understand… I thought I understood what was going on until I got home and actually had time to think. Being alone is the worst, isn't it? You actually get to reflect on things you might not want to." He sounded like he had lots of experience doing just that. Her heart contracted a little.

"Anyway, Plagg told me that your Miraculous Ladybug reconciled the rift in time that opened up when Timebreaker broke it. So… even though I know that I died in this timeline, somehow I was resurrected and I have a whole different set of memories from the previous timeline." He took a few breaths, pausing for a moment. "I'm just still so confused. My brain has these scrambled bits of the different timelines that aren't connected... Please call me. I know you usually check these a few times a day, so I'll wait until I hear from you again..."

Her heart started to race in dread, feeling like a failure. She had failed her partner by being completely absorbed and preoccupied by her love life. Fingers slightly damp with sweat, she scrolled through her texts.

Friday, 11:02: Hey there, paw-tner (haha).

Friday, 13:37: So… I just remembered that I died.

Friday, 14:39: You saved me, Bug. You did it. But my head hurts, I feel like I'm in a fog.

Friday, 21:57: My Lady, please answer me when you can. Something feels wrong… you normally respond at least within a few hours.

Saturday, 09:30: Ladybug, I'm going crazy… and I'm getting tired. Plagg says if I sleep, I might lose my memories by the brain's sorting process. I'll wait for you until noon, after that…

Saturday, 09:32: I'll assume you aren't coming.

Marinette frantically checked her watch. 11:22! Aah! She looked at Tikki and groaned.

"I can understand him being so confused," the little red Kwami said wisely. "Humans aren't meant to travel through time. Even though Cat Noir from this timeline didn't travel with you to the past, he still existed in two different parallel universes. The fact that he died in this timeline must be particularly upsetting."

"I don't get it. Other people died from Timebreaker's touch, too, and they were also brought back to life."

"Yes," Tikki continued, "but those were paradoxes in time that your Miraculous Ladybug fixed. People who died no longer remember being dead. And they certainly don't remember the other reality you created when you went back in time - when they were literally doing something else at the same moment since the time split."

"Well, why didn't that work on Cat Noir?" Marinette asked.

"Even though your power mends paradoxes, Miraculous holders still keep their memories of all timelines they participated in before the conflict was resolved." Tikki shrugged slightly. "It's a side effect of the Miraculous' power. But, knowing all the information comes at a high cost. This set of events in particular is creating a dissonance in Cat Noir's mind because he literally did two different things at the same time… his brain remembers him being dead, yet at the same time it also remembers he was alive, helping you in the alternate reality. If he doesn't get to talk to you about it and set some mental markers for which reality is real, it could have some serious psychological repercussions."

"Wow, I didn't know it could get that bad," Marinette frowned.

"It's serious," Tikki's eyes were wide. "His mind could even trick him into thinking he's supposed to be dead. He's not from one timeline or the other, but he is both people, just as you are. You technically returned to your original timeline at the end of the conflict, but you're still the Ladybug from the alternate reality also. That's what it means to keep all of your memories from both realities."

Feeling as if she was in some sort of weird philosophy class, Marinette swallowed hard. The whole weight of time travel and its intricacies was finally settling down onto her shoulders. The superhero paled and her fingers trembled slightly as she dialed Cat's number. No answer. She texted him, but didn't see his "writing" icon pop up to let her know he was composing a response. Ugh!

"Looks like this is a situation where Cat doesn't want to be found," Marinette mused, "And I want to find him. There's a first time for everything I guess... Wish me luck! TIKKI, SPOTS ON!"

Ladybug was puzzled, because Cat Noir was obviously still transformed. She could see his GPS pin on her communicator. She was so deep in her musings, she was almost startled out of the air by a beep beep! She paused her chase to glance at her yo-yo.'Just stay away from me. I'm not sure what's real and what's not.'

Ignoring him, she continued determinedly. He obviously needed her, and she wouldn't give up now. Much as she teased him for being crazy sometimes, she knew he really wasn't, and she needed her partner's brain firing on all cylinders if they wanted a chance to defeat Hawkmoth.

She spotted him now, slouched in the shadow of a dormer. His eyes were glazed, expression vacant. She tried to approach as cautiously as possible, as if he really were a feral cat.

It didn't work. Cat was up on his feet, ready to fight, when she broached his personal space.

"Cat Noir." She tried to stay calm, but her brow was wrinkled with emotion. "It's me, Ladybug. Your partner."

The fog disappeared from his eyes slightly, greens brightening. "Are you real or am I real?"

Tikki's words from earlier echoed in Ladybug's mind. The Kawmi had said that if Cat Noir didn't get anchored to this reality soon, his confusion would worsen. He could go mad. The fact that Ladybug was the one who helped cause the dissonance tugged at her heartstrings, making her feel as small as the insect she was named for.

"We are both real, Cat," she said confidently.

Ladybug thought back to her Kwami's advice. Get him to actually touch something from this reality. Take his gloves off, Tikki had insisted. His brain will pull him to the stronger memory which he will want to keep. I think you know which one that will be, in this case…

She did know. He'd want to keep the hug.

"I.. but there were two of you and one of me. I don't understand… that means that one of me disappeared. I-" he sucked in a breath, new tears in his eyes as if remembering for the first time. The fight went out of him, slumping to the ground again.

He wrapped his arms around his crossed knees, and she thought she saw him shiver. "I died, Ladybug."

She figured they could address that when he was more lucid. Slowly and deliberately, she sat down next to him. When that worked, she reached for his hand. He flinched but seemed to grow comfortable with the idea.

Prying his arm away from its defensive position was a bit more difficult, but she managed. It's hard to give affection to someone who doesn't want it, she thought. His tendons and muscles were taut as she worked her fingers to get his glove off.

"I.. I don't understand," he repeated. "I just want it to make sense."

This is bad, she thought. What touch will snap him back?

Then, it hit her. Finally, she got the glove off and put his bare skin to her face.

It was only the second time his skin had touched hers. In her haste, she hadn't really worried about the orientation of his hand, and his thumb was now caught awkwardly over her lips. She shivered. It had an instantaneous effect on him also; his eyes finally cleared as the fog in his head seemed to also. "Ladybug-what?"

"Cat," she smiled, too shaken to tease him. "Nice of you to join me."

She explained in sequence what had happened during the original and alternate universe. During her account, when his hand had been on her face a bit too long to be polite, he reluctantly drew it back. "So.. I saw the akuma transform a victim in this reality. I texted you. We fought, and I died protecting you." They both avoided mentioning the way he had wrapped his body around hers, and the kiss. "Then, you went back in time. Found me again. Before I died. You had me text the Ladybug in that reality.. And she was Ladybug Number Two in that fight."

"Yes. And so much time had elapsed in that universe that it started to coincide with the time you were dead in the original timeline."

"Gotcha." His face twisted into a wry smile. "So, I was dead, and alive, at the same time."

"Essentially."

"Like another famous cat we know?"

"What- uuuuugh," she rolled her eyes at the famous Schrodinger's cat reference. "So we go from you're loopy to making your normal dorky jokes in less than an hour. You would take this there. I'd say you're feeling back to your old self!"

As she swung to leave, he caught her forearm with his long fingers. She realized he had redonned his glove, another good sign.

"I...am. Almost feeling normal again, I mean" he said as a cloud passed over his face. "Will you sit and talk with me for just a few more minutes?"

She hesitated, finally giving in to the positively puppy-dog look from her feline friend. "Ahh, fine. A few more minutes won't hurt."