An: I own nothing harry potter belongs to j. k . Rowling
Harry looked at the people he called his 'friends' and inwardly sneered in disgust as he saw that once again they were fighting … about food and house elves. 'God when are they going to give up and leave me alone so they can shag each other, I have a lot of things to do… like madam Umbridge have an unfortunate accident that will either kill, maim or force her to leave the school. Hmmm… giant spiders haven't attacked any teachers yet,' he thought as spider food I mean umbitch I mean Umbridge's voice appeared on the magically attached speakers that works like magic. "Heh hem students and teachers please come to the great hall," 'so that I can eat you all,' harry silently added.
"Heh hem," spider bait coughed as the last person entered the hall. Said person was shocked out of his day dream and quickly sat next to dumb and dumber (Ron and Hermione). "You have been you have all been gathered here to read some books about the life of one of your fellow classmates," she said in that awful high pitched voice of hers.
Harry, who had an idea about who she was talking about said in a voice that sounded suspiciously like a bailiffs voice from court said "Madame Umbridge do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth."
"Of course I do young man," she replied looking affronted.
"Then you may proceed."
"Okay before we read does anyone else have a Question?" she asked rhetorically.
"Yes ma'am I do who are the books about and where did you come across them?" a first year hufflepuff said.
"These books are about the little liar known as Harry Potter and I found them with a note that said they were from someone named fay," Umbridge said.
When she finished saying this there was an instant hush with silence so thick harry swore he could cut it with a machete.