October
Time flies, and somehow they're already two months into their last year of high school. SAT's are next month, and Maura has been practicing every weekend. Not that she really needs it, but she wants to be the best.
A couple of days ago, Jane approached her and asked for her help. She hasn't known Jane for long, but she knows that asking for help is something Jane doesn't often do. The brunette asked if Maura could help her with maths, because she's really bad at it. Maura, of course, said yes, and invited Jane over to her house. And now every time she does something such as having dinner by herself, she imagines Jane sitting there. The past few weeks, Maura has caught Jane staring at her more often, and the occasional touches have definitely increased. She doesn't know if this is just friendship, or more than that, because she's never had a real friend. Everyone would leave her after a week or two, so maybe this is what a normal friendship is supposed to be like after all.
On Friday, one of the few days the both of them don't have to go to soccer or ballet, the brunette is waiting for her at their lockers. She's talking to Ryleigh, but smiles when she sees Maura. "Hey," she says, and Ryleigh greets her too.
"Hi," she replies, opening her locker while listening to the conversation Jane and Ryleigh are having. It's (not at all surprising) about soccer and the competition, and Maura smiles. It's so Jane, and just being in the presence of the brunette and hearing her voice makes Maura's worries disappear. She closes her locker and Jane looks at her. "Ready?" She nods.
"Alright, I'm gonna go, see you on Sunday?" Ryleigh asks Jane. The brunette nods, "Yeah."
"Okay. By the way, Maura, why don't you come to one of our games?" Ryleigh asks, winking at Jane when the blonde doesn't see it.
"Uhh, yeah, I guess I'll like that," Maura says. "Although I still don't understand the game," she adds.
The girls are almost at the main entrance when they hear girls yelling behind them. "Hey Jane! Going to the girl's house? You're such a dyke," Claire calls out, and the brunette stops dead in her tracks. Not now. Not while I'm with Maura.
The blonde looks at her, but she doesn't meet Maura's eyes. She can only think of one thing: stop Claire as soon as possible. She throws her bag on the floor, barely missing Maura's toes, and walks up to the girls.
"You know what, Claire? You're a pathetic bitch, and I hope you go to hell-"
Although Maura is not familiar with these kinds of words, she knows what dyke means, and she has seen Jane's response to it. The brunette has raised her voice and is now yelling, and the girls are too. Jane is definitely not afraid of them, and Maura watches the fight extend rapidly. She can see that Jane is about to start a physical fight with one of those girls, and although Maura doesn't care about their feelings, she cares about Jane's. The brunette slightly steps backwards, and Maura calls out.
"No, Jane! Don't, please," Jane immediately freezes and turns around, facing the blonde.
"She's not worth it, Jane, please don't," Maura says pleadingly, noticing how the brunette's features soften a little. Jane turns back around towards the girls, and Claire is smiling mischievously. It takes her all of her strength, but Jane walks away from the girls, towards Maura, and picks up her bag from the floor. She motions towards the door, putting a hand on Maura's back to push her forward.
"See that, Maura?" they hear Claire call behind them, "she's in looooveeeee. Better be careful girl, she's gonna break your heart."
They walk outside, and Jane slams the door shut behind them, not saying a word.
..
..
They arrive at Maura's house, and Jane cannot contain her surprise when Maura opens the door for her.
"This is your house? All of this?" The brunette says, standing still in the middle of the foyer.
Maura smiles, taking off her coat and hanging it on the rack. "Yes. All of it."
Jane whistles through her teeth. "Jeez. What do your parents do for a living that you're able to afford this?" she says, temporarily forgetting about the phone call she heard the other day. She notices how Maura's face immediately falls, and the blonde turns around so she's not facing Jane anymore.
"Oh, hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," Jane says, worry evident in her voice. It's then that Maura realizes Jane is not like those bullies at all, although she couldn't help but think that on her first day here. When Jane saved her from those girls, Maura somehow expected her to be just like them. She is wrong.
The tone of Jane's voice, her choice of words, and the realization that Jane is her first best friend after all, makes tears well up in Maura's eyes. She whirls around and nearly knocks Jane over with the force of her hug, but the brunette manages to keep them upright. Maura buries her head in Jane's neck, and feels dark brown curls tickle on her forehead. She doesn't want to be anywhere else.
They stay like that for what seems like forever, Jane gently rubbing Maura's back and Maura simply breathing in Jane's scent. She pulls back and meets brown eyes, which are filled with worry. "Are you okay? I didn't-"
Maura shakes her head and Jane falls silent. "It's fine now. I just got a bit emotional, I'm sorry. I usually don't react like this." She pulls on Jane's coat, trying to take it off. Jane complies and takes it off, giving it to Maura who puts it in a closet.
When Maura turns back around, she notices that Jane has walked further into a hallway leading to the library.
"No, Jane, it's this way," she says, waiting for the brunette to come back. They walk into a different hallway, and Jane follows her. They enter a huge living room, with a lounge set with a low table next to it, and a higher table to their left. There are about ten bookshelves, completely filled with all sorts of books.
"Wow," Jane manages to say. Maura simply smiles and gestures to the higher table. "I think it's best if we sit there. Do you want something to drink?"
Jane knows the blonde's fridge is probably filled with about every drink you can possibly have, but she goes with a Pepsi. It seems there's a smaller fridge in the living room, so you won't have to walk to the kitchen, which is probably a mile away from where they are now.
"You live here by yourself now?" Jane asks, looking at Maura who's filling a glass with Pepsi. She grabs some juice before answering Jane's question.
"Well, I think my mother is still in Prague, and she has a meeting in Brussels in two days, so I'm on my own for now."
It doesn't go unnoticed by Jane that Maura doesn't talk about her father, but she doesn't ask. She hopes Maura will tell her when she's ready, whenever that may be.
They both fall silent, and Maura puts the juice back in the fridge while Jane puts her math books on the table. Maura puts the glasses down, smiling at Jane, and she can't help saying, "Jane, I wouldn't mind at all if you liked girls instead of boys. I really don't-" but she doesn't get any further.
"I don't! I'm not, you know, that," Jane interrupts, referring to Claire's choice of words. Maura nods, averting her eyes before asking her question. "But are you simply saying that to yourself because you're afraid of what your parents might say?"
Jane cannot answer quickly enough. "Don't, Maura. It's fine. Leave it alone, okay? Let's just focus on school for now."
Although Maura has known Jane for almost two months, a subject change as quick as this is not what Maura expected. Nevertheless, she does what Jane asks, and drops the subject, taking her books from her bag.
"Okay, so where do you want to start?"
..
They do maths for two hours, until Jane has to get up to pee and notices how dark it's gotten.
"Wow, what time is it?" she says, more to herself than to Maura, and looks at her phone. "Shit, it's six already. My mother is going to kill me," she says, earning a weird look from Maura. "What?" she asks.
"Well first of all, I don't like it when you swear, Jane. Secondly, I doubt your mother is going to kill you. Maybe get angry with you, but kill you?" Maura says, looking at the brunette. Jane rolls her eyes. "It's figure of speech, Maura. Of course she's not going to kill me."
"You can stay over for dinner if you want?" Maura asks, hopeful. Jane pretends to think for a second, but she already knows the answer.
"Of course, Maur. Let me just call my ma."
Jane calls her mother, who is very happy that she's finally found someone who wants to help her with her maths. Several attempts of her mother trying to find a study partner for her have failed, simply because she's too stubborn to ask for an explanation. Not even Ryleigh could help her, but Maura could. When she hangs up, Maura has already made a phone call to a restaurant.
"We're going out for dinner?" Jane asks, surprised.
"No, they're delivering to our house. We're one of the few people this restaurant delivers to. As long as you give them a nice tip, they'll keep doing it," Maura replies.
Jane is once again reminded that she and Maura come from very different environments and have a complete different upbringing. Where Jane would be content with going to the Mac Donalds for dinner, Maura lets a fancy restaurant deliver a four-course meal at home, simply because she can and doesn't think it's odd. Jane puts her math books back in her bag and helps Maura setting the table before going to the bathroom. When she's washing her hands, she hears Maura talking to the delivery guy, and she can't help but open the door a little to look at the blonde.
She's beautiful, and Jane hopes she realizes that.
Maura closes the door and Jane opens hers, meeting the blonde's eyes. "Our dinner is here," Maura says, although it's a little unnecessary. Jane smiles and snatches the bag from Maura's hands, ignoring the 'hey!' and running back towards the living room.
A few minutes later they're settled, sitting opposite of each other at the table with food on their plates. Jane is trying really hard not to stare when Maura takes a bite, so instead starts a conversation. She's just explaining something about Frost's job as a tutor when Maura interrupts her.
"What about your family?" Maura asks.
"What do you mean?"
"I just want to know more about your family. You're so overprotective sometimes, I wonder if something happened."
Nope. No way. Not my family. I'm not telling that my mom has to work extra shifts to be able to pay for a dinner like this. I'm definitely not telling her that I wear second hand clothes simply because we can't afford it.
Those thoughts make Jane respond angrier than she wanted to.
"What do you think, Maura? That I'm just going to sit here and tell you the entire story of my life when I barely even know you? Then you don't know me at all," Jane says harshly, but immediately regrets it when she sees tears well up in the blonde's eyes.
That hurt, Maura thinks. It's true, she hasn't known the brunette for long, but she really thought Jane liked her. She can't keep her tears at bay, and one falls onto her maths book, staining the paper. Jane notices, and gets up from the chair across Maura. I already hurt her twice today. Nice job, asshole, she thinks to herself.
"Hey, I'm sorry," Jane says, standing next to the blonde. Although the chairs are almost as high as a bar stool, Jane is still taller than Maura, and has to look down at the blonde. She can't see Maura's face, and uses her finger to lift the blonde's chin. She looks into sad eyes, and hates herself for doing this. "I'm sorry," she says again.
"I'm just .." scared of what you'll think of me since Claire called me a dyke "really stressed. And .." hiding my feelings for you is becoming harder every day "never mind. Are you okay, Maur?"
The blonde nods, making a mental note to talk to Jane about this later. The brunette is always avoiding personal talks, and she wants to do something about that. She wants to know the brunette better, she wants to show that Jane can trust her.
Then, Jane makes a joke that makes her laugh, and the dimples that form on Jane's cheeks are so adorable that she cannot look anywhere else.
..
..
Maura now thinks of Jane's friends as her friends. Audrey, the girl Jane sits next to during Spanish, has joined them at their table, so there's five of them now. Every lunch break, Frost and Audrey sit opposite Maura, Jane and Ryleigh, and they somehow always end up laughing really loudly, making several people glare at them. Maura finds she doesn't mind, because one look from Jane or Ryleigh always makes them quickly look away.
When the bell rings, they say goodbye to each other and Jane usually walks with her to her classroom. Today is different.
"Jane, can I talk to you?" Maura barely picks up Ryleigh's voice in all the noise. The bell has just rung and students are leaving the cafeteria, talking and yelling.
The brunette looks at her questioningly. It takes Maura a second to realize that the brunette is asking for her permission. She doesn't nod, but she doesn't look desperate either, and she hopes that Jane will take the hint.
"Yeah, that's fine. See you later, Maur," the brunette says, and walks off with Ryleigh.
She looks at Audrey and Frost, who both raise their eyebrows. "What was that about?" Maura asks.
Frost shrugs. "No idea. If it's important, we'll know."
"Fair enough," Maura replies. "I'm leaving, or I'll be late for class. Bye guys."
Frost and Audrey say goodbye to her, and Maura walks off into the crowded hallways, wondering where Jane is.
..
"What is it you wanted to tell me?" Jane asks curiously. Ryleigh and her are now standing in an abandoned hallway, on the complete right end of the school. Nobody ever comes here, at least not the students.
Her friend opens her bag, turning around as if shielding it from the rest of the world. "Okay so I know you won't approve, but I really needed the money, so .." Ryleigh falls silent and opens her bag a little more, showing a small plastic bag with white stuff in it. "Ryleigh! What the actual-"
"Shhh!"
"What if you get caught?" Jane hisses. "You're fucked then, you know that? I'm not visiting you in prison, you idiot."
"I won't get caught, I promise," Ryleigh answers, but before she can continue, Jane interrupts her again. "The hell you won't! Why are you doing this?"
Ryleigh is silent for a while. They actually have to get to class, but Jane is always late so it doesn't really matter. Her teachers are used to it by now.
"I'm only telling you this because you're the only one who understands, okay Jane?" Ryleigh says. "It's just .. you know how you always have to get second hand clothes and see your friends walk around in brand new ones? That shit always pisses me off, not because their parents can pay for it, but because mine can't. And it sucks Jane, you know that."
Jane is silent now, taking in Ryleigh's words.
"It's having the most ugly socks and underwear because you simply don't have other ones, and having to save 'neutral' ones for PE days. I'm so happy we don't have those anymore. And I haven't told you this before, but my parents wanted to take me off the soccer team because we can't bring up the money to pay for all the competitions. I had to do something. I don't want to feel like I'm the poorest girl in this school anymore Jane, I needed more money and this is the perfect way."
Jane indeed didn't know that Ryleigh almost stopped playing soccer. A question suddenly pops into her head, and she has to ask it although she's not sure she wants to know the answer. "Is this how you paid for that expensive Italian restaurant when you took me out for dinner?"
"No, Jane, I didn't. I promise. I wouldn't do that," Ryleigh replies, and the brunette has to believe her, although she doesn't know what to think. Her friend, selling drugs to get money. She wishes she could help, but she's not that rich either. Her parents had to take a second mortgage last year, and Frankie always gives the clothes he doesn't fit in anymore to Tommy. Her mother gets some clothes for her from neighbors, and she saves her own money to buy new ones.
"You're not telling anyone, okay?" Ryleigh's voice pulls her from her thoughts. "Not even your hot girlfriend."
"She's not my girlfriend. She's just a friend," Jane says, emphasizing the first part, because it's something Ryleigh has been saying for weeks now.
"Yes, because everyone has eye sex in the hallways," Ryleigh says teasingly, but continuous in a serious tone. "I'm serious, Jane. Don't tell." The brunette thinks for a second, simply because her friend's confession has completely surprised her.
"It's fine that you want to do this, Ryleigh, but don't get me involved. I swear I will kill you," Jane says, and both girls know that she means it.
Ryleigh nods, smiling briefly. "I gotta get to class."
Jane acknowledges that with a nod, and hugs Ryleigh quickly. "Talk to you soon, okay?"
She looks as her friend walks away, and starts, for the first time in years, to doubt whether she can trust this girl or not. She decides to leave it for now, and pushes all the thoughts from her mind before walking to class, mentally preparing herself for the speech her teacher is likely to give her.
A/N: Almost a month since I last updated! I'm terribly sorry it took me so long. Again, I'm in my last year of high school and I've been so busy (GSCE's). I hope you liked it, I promise more will be coming soon. The real drama is on its way.
I didn't check this for mistakes, so I'm sorry if there are any, I just wanted to have it up here asap :)