Dinner with a visiting Daimyo and his wife had gone very well. He and Ieyasu spoke about some issues in his land that had to do with the recent drought over in that area. I had the job of keeping the wife entertained. When Ieyasu and I first married, I found it hard to be around these women. They were pretentious and snooty. It had taken some time to get used to it, and Ieyasu had to deescalate the situation before we got into trouble.

Nowadays, I could handle their retorts about my previous life of poverty with grace and a smile. Tonight, however, the topic stayed about children, as I had a decent sized bump that couldn't be hidden by my kimono anymore. It had gotten to the point that someone had to help me up when I sat on the floor. This woman had all the advice to give, having three of her own all under the ages of 5 already and they were trying to get a fourth.

Ieyasu and I stood at the entrance to the castle, watching them climb into their carriage and then move into the distance. I let out a breath of relief and my whole body seemed to relax. "That went well," I said. Thank god it's over.

"You were overwhelmed again. Was it because of her advice?" Ieyasu asked, still watching the carriage go.

I laughed, rubbing my hand over the large bump. "I wouldn't call it advice. I've been around enough children to know how to raise them. It was more the fact that they had so many so quickly," I replied. Back before we met, I had a lot of young kids to take care of and that had been hard. I can't imagine having to do it again.

Ieyasu dropped his gaze to me, raising an eyebrow. "Do you think I want that from you?"

I shrugged my shoulders, trying not to smile. "Apparently that's all we're good for."

"Yeah," Ieyasu answered, also in a good mood from our successful night. His words earned a soft whack on his arm from me and he smiled with a laugh. "Rena, you're not like them. They see that, and they fear it, which is why they feel entitled to give you so much advice. The only thing that you need to take seriously is my promises to you." Giving a soft kiss on the lips, he asked, "Are you blushing?"

"Nope, definitely not. Because I'm most definitely not swayed by sweet words," I answered, failing to hold back my laughter. It faded into a hiss when the baby began to kick. "Apparently he or she is, though."

Every time the baby moved or kicked, Ieyasu had this expression of wonder, hesitantly reaching out to feel it. And he or she knew when it was their father speaking and when he was the one touching my bump. They only reacted like that to him. Their love for him had already begun to grow, even though they've never met.

The baby settled and Ieyasu took my hands in his. "You're barely standing, aren't you? Why don't you go take a warm bath and relax? I'll finish up my work and come straight to you." He placed a soft kiss on my fingers and then my lips.

I readily agreed, thankful for our eventful evening to be over.

The worst part being pregnant, besides vomiting all the time, was how heavy my body felt after a long day. Simply walking to where the maid had prepared my bath had me falling asleep in the warm water. It's not a simple task, being pregnant. The water felt divine, however, and soothed my aching muscles.

After, the maids helped me to dress into a soft kimono that had been altered to fit my gained weight. I returned to our bedroom, completely ready to simply fall asleep. Ieyasu hadn't arrived yet, probably very busy with preparing to send rice over to the Daimyo and his people. With only two candles lit, the darkness unsettled me. Strange, because I never feared the dark.

I couldn't put my finger on it. Something felt very wrong. Though my body protested, I rose to my feet, intent on going to see Ieyasu to calm my nerves. A cool breeze sent a shiver up my body. The door to our balcony had been shut. I make sure every night. Turning my head, I gasped at a figure.

"Rena," Joji's voice sent a wave of relief through me.

Exhaling, I held my hand against my rapidly beating heart. "Joji! You frightened me."

Before I could ask what brought him here, he'd strode over, a frown on his face. "You're bearing that monster's child?" He cupped my cheeks with his hands, brushing his thumb lightly back and forth. "It's alright. I've come to save you. I'm sorry for the pain I'll cause you."

Joji twisted me around and swung his leg around to knock mine out from under me. I hit the floor hard on my stomach, sending pain through my body. "Joji! Stop! What are you doing?!" I clutched my stomach and groaned.

"He's forced himself on you. Forced you to have his child!" A swift kick to the bump hurt worst than the last time, and then again.

Unable to form any words, I just cried out from the pain. I wanted to beg him to stop. He'd knocked the wind out of me and I couldn't speak at all.

"Lady Rena?" A voice from outside called. The door slowly slid open. It was Jin, one of our personal guardsmen. He charged at Joji without hesitation, tackling him to the floor. Calling over his shoulder, he shouted. "Bring Lord Ieyasu here immediately! And find the midwife!"

I could feel the water seeping out and knew that the labor has started. It's too early. It's much too early. The trauma alone… My head swam with pain and the knowledge that it would be impossible for a baby to have survived those hard kicks. The grief had already set in.

The fire crackled in front of me and blurred with the hot tears that pooled in my eyes. Taking in a shaky breath I said, "There was so much blood. I spent the next four hours in labor, delivering a stillborn baby boy. Tatsu." We'd already decided on names for both genders and holding my lifeless baby in my arms, I had only uttered his name once. Since then, neither Ieyasu nor I had called him by his name.

Hideyoshi had been silent the whole time I told the story, and he held the same sympathetic stare as everyone else who know that our first-born child had died. "Rena," he said my name, unable to come up with any other words.

I forced a soft smile and wiped the tears off my cheeks. "It's okay. You don't have to pity me."

"How did Ieyasu let him live after that?" he asked.

"I asked him to let Joji go." My answer surprised him. I nodded my head, knowing that he didn't understand. The men at Azuchi knew some of my story from before Ieyasu and I met, but not everything. We thought it best to keep at a need to know level. "Joji had been under my care before I met Ieyasu, and he never approved of us. He believed that I was forced into everything. I don't know where along the way I lost him." Standing to my feet, I sighed. "I need a drink. I'll grab the sake."

The curtain of the tent blocked me from Hideyoshi's view. In this moment alone, I tried to pull myself together. I ran my fingers through my hair and smoothed out my kimono. "Deep breaths, Rena. It's going to be alright," I said softly to myself. The skirmish must have been worse than Ieyasu thought. I know he'll be just fine, but still, I worried.

Lifting the bottle of sake off the ground, I turned on my heel to return, only to have someone standing in front of me. The bottle shattered on the ground, spilling the contents. My hands flew to my neck, trying to grasp the foreign thing cutting off my air.

"I swore that I would save you."