A/N: "Guest" que preguntaba "Que hará Jane para que demuestre que realmente es inocente?", No te lo diré, puedes leer este capítulo ;)
I'm back, y'all. I hope you enjoy this chapter.
December
Ryleigh didn't show up at school the next day, or the day after that. When a week had passed, Jane was sure she would never see her friend again. She was so mad at her, but it stung at the same time, because Ryleigh had been her best friend, after all. Jane stills sits with Frost and Audrey during lunch, but the two empty chairs break her heart every time. Frost and Audrey frequently asked what had happened, but Jane found she couldn't tell the truth. Her friends eventually stopped asking, and Jane didn't know whether to be glad or not.
She tried calling Ryleigh, but her friend never picked up. Jane realized that she didn't know Ryleigh anymore, and that they had grown apart without noticing. Even during all those trainings, competitions and time spent on the field, they had grown apart. Where Jane chose to make the best out of her financial situation the way it was, Ryleigh chose to make money in a way that Jane still couldn't accept. It's so sad how people you thought you'd grow old with, suddenly become strangers you will never talk to again.
Jane grew closer to Frost and Audrey, it came as far as telling Frost about the situation at her home, which only seemed to worsen. Her dad was gone almost every day now, and although Jane was glad she didn't come home to find him laying drunk on the couch, she didn't know what he was doing while he was gone. Frost promised to not tell anyone, but he did ask her to come over to his place is she ever needed it.
And although Jane had only known the blonde for a few months, she missed her like crazy. Her mother noticed that something was off, and tried to talk to her about it.
"What's wrong, honey?" Angela had asked, looking into her daughter's tired eyes.
"Nothing, Ma," Jane had replied, and turned around to walk out of the room. Her mother had stopped her and spun her around, until she could wrap both arms around her daughter. "You can always talk to me, you know that right?" she had said.
Sure Ma, let me tell you about my friend the drug dealer, and the new girl I'm in love with. Let me tell you how I think Dad has a new girlfriend, and about Tommy, who is involved in things I don't want to know about. Oh, and I didn't clean my room either, Ma.
"Mm," she had mumbled, and her mother took that as a yes.
..
It's already December, and it's been over a month since Jane and Maura fought. They haven't talked, and Maura now spends her lunch break in the quiet library instead of the busy cafeteria. Jane's friends were Jane's before they were hers, so she doesn't want to go and sit there anymore. She's used to being alone anyway.
That was, before she met Jane.
And Maura misses her a little bit more every day.
Sometimes, she hears the brunette's voice in the hallways, cocky and confident like she always is. Jane sometimes yells at someone to shut their mouth, or says hi to someone she knows. But Maura never sees her in person, she makes sure of that.
She's not sure if she could handle looking into Jane's eyes.
..
Maura sees Barry that day, walking towards the main exit of the school. She'd seen him before a few times, but he never noticed her.
"Barry!" she yells, and he turns around to face her. Maura quickly walks towards him, but before she can even say anything, he wants to turn back around. "Wait," she tries desperately, grabbing his shoulder.
"I don't want to talk to you, Maura," he says, his voice betraying the anger he so carefully hides from his eyes.
"I do want to talk to you. Please," she pleads. He is silent for a minute, thinking. "Come on," he finally says, nodding towards an empty bench. She follows him without saying another word, and sits next to him.
"Being the good guy I am, I'm giving you three minutes of my time. Although I can barely look at you," he says.
"Barry, I .. I don't even know where to start," she says.
"Well, let me tell you something. You have no idea how much you hurt Jane," he says.
"What did she tell you?" Maura asks.
"She hasn't told us anything, Maura, just that you guys fought. That explained why we didn't see you at lunch anymore. But she hasn't told us anything about Ryleigh."
Maura's eyes widen. "What happened with Ryleigh?"
"That's the thing," he says, "we don't know. She hasn't been to school since the day you fought."
Maura thinks back of that day, and the things Jane said, and something clicks.
"Oh no," she says. He looks at her, worried. "What?"
"She told the truth, Barry, and I didn't believe her," Maura says.
"About what, Maura? You gotta help me out," he says, clueless.
Maura finds that she cannot keep this from him, or anyone really, any longer. She tells him the whole story, from her finding the drugs in Jane's bag to her yelling at Jane to not talk to her again, and Barry doesn't interrupt her once. When she's finished, he sighs. "Oh, Maura."
"She told me it was Ryleigh who put the drugs there, and I didn't believe her," she says, trying to keep her tears at bay. Barry lets this sink in, and then looks at Maura.
"You have to talk to her," he says. "Promise me that, Maura. She's been walking around like a zombie the past month. She doesn't engage in our conversations during lunch as much as she used to, and when we're not at school, she's..." he falls silent. She looks at him questioningly, and he eventually continues.
"She's been on the field every day since, you know, your fight. Playing and playing and playing, sometimes from six till midnight. Trying her best to be good enough. I picked her up from the field more times than I can count over the past month," Barry says.
"Good enough for whom?" Maura asks, not letting that go.
Barry looks at her, eyes full of surprise. "You don't know?" he asks, not believing her.
Maura shakes her head. How is she supposed to know?
"For you, Maura."
The blonde falls silent, not knowing how to answer this.
"She wants to be the best, so you'll notice her. She wants to win every possible game she can win, so you'll hopefully see her name when it turns up in the newspaper and then you'll come back to her."
"But Barry," Maura asks, "why is she working so hard for that? She's been good enough all along."
"She failed her SAT's, you know," he says. "She's so embarrassed, because you helped her with everything, and now she failed them. Well, not failing, because you can't do that, but she scored really, really low. And she's trying to make up for that by practicing soccer every day. So you'll only see the best of her."
Jane scored low? Maura can't believe it. Their fight must've had a huge impact on Jane, and Maura feels even more guilty now.
"She seems so unaffected by it all, Barry," Maura says, looking into her friend's eyes. "She walks through the hallways as if nothing's wrong, making jokes and laughing. She seems okay with all of it."
"You're right Maura, seems," he replies, "but she's really having trouble dealing with everything. By the way, you didn't hear this from me, if she asks."
"I want to talk to her," she says. "do you know if she'll talk to me?"
"There's only one way to find out."
..
..
"Watch your mouth, Jane!" her coach yells. "We've heard about every expletive under the sun in the past few minutes."
"Yeah, yeah," she growls, running faster to catch up with her teammate and try to take the ball from her. She succeeds and passes the ball to the girl who comes running past her on her left. She runs towards the goal, putting her hand up and yelling "here!" so she can get the ball.
Her teammate gives a great pass, and Jane shoots the ball perfectly past Audrey before it lands in the left corner of the goal. Her team cheers loudly, and Jane smiles before pulling the yellow jacket over her head and giving it to the coach.
"We all know you like to curse, Jane, but a little less won't hurt. Nice goal, though. See you on Sunday," he says.
"Thanks. Cursing works though, you've just seen it!" she can't help but say, and she quickly runs away before he can punch her in the shoulder.
Jane is talking to one of her teammates when she looks over at the fence near the exit, and that's when she sees her. A blonde girl, looking at them.
"Is that Maura?" she hears Audrey ask, who's walking right behind her.
Jane feels her heart skip a beat. "I guess so. I'll go," she quickly says, pretending not to notice Audrey's eyes on her. Her friend has too noticed that something has been going on, but Jane hasn't told her anything.
The brunette speeds up until she's jogging towards the fence, and she stops right in front of Maura.
"What are you doing here?" she asks. Her voice wavers slightly, but her eyes are fierce.
"I want to talk to you," Maura says, ignoring the looks from Jane's teammates who are now walking past them.
"It's been a month, and now you suddenly want to talk?" Jane says. Tension radiates in waves off her body, and Maura, for a single moment, falls silent.
"Come home with me, Jane. Ten minutes. If you still hate me after that, you can walk right out. I promise," Maura says, ignoring the pain that comes with the thought of Jane walking out on her. She realizes that's exactly what she did, and she hates herself even more.
For a split second, Jane looks like she's going to say no. The blonde is silent, afraid of Jane's answer.
"Ten minutes," the brunette finally says, and doesn't wait for Maura to answer. She turns around and walks towards the locker rooms, leaving a very nervous Maura to wait by the fence.
..
..
Maura's hand is shaking when she puts her key in the lock. Jane is standing behind her, hair still wet from the shower she took after practice. The front door finally opens, and the blonde walks inside. Jane dumps her bag next to the door, meaning that she can walk out any moment. Maura gets the hint.
"Can we sit down?" she asks, looking at Jane for permission. The brunette simply nods, following her to the living room.
"Do you want something to drink?" Maura asks again.
"Water is fine," Jane replies, and sits down on the couch, waiting for Maura to join her.
The blonde grabs a glass, fills it with water and walks towards Jane. She can't help but notice how beautiful the brunette still looks, and she has to work hard to suppress a physical response.
She sets the glass on the table and sits down nervously, crossing her feet under her. Jane is silent, waiting for her to start talking. Maura invited her over, after all.
"Jane," Maura realizes that she missed saying that name, "I didn't ..-" she feels tears welling up in her eyes, but she doesn't want that yet. She wants to explain everything, to tell Jane she missed her so much and that's she's sorry. She exhales, trying to calm her nerves, but it doesn't work.
She's still shaking when her hand comes up to stifle the first sob.
Jane wants nothing more than to reach over and pull the blonde in for a hug, but she refrains herself from doing so. This girl broke her trust, hurt her, and made her cry. But this girl is also the one she loves more than anyone else in this world. Even still.
Normally, Jane wouldn't let that last feeling win, but it has never been so strong. So she finally reaches over, and pulls the blonde closer to her until Maura's head is laying on her chest. She waves her fingers through soft curls, and she feels the blonde shake.
"Shh, Maur," despite her anger and her pain, she can't help but offer comfort.
"Please don't go already, Jane, I want to explain, I just," Maura stammers. She hates herself for being so weak. If Jane can keep it together, why can't she?
"Stop. Take a breath for me, okay?" Jane says, carefully pushing Maura up from her chest until they're looking at each other. "I'm right here. I'm not going yet."
The blonde does, and finally calms down enough to talk without shaking. "I shouldn't have left you on that day. I didn't know what to do, and who to believe. My mind told me that it had to be you who put those drugs in your bag, but you told me something else, and I didn't know. So I did what I thought was best in that moment, and I regret it so much, Jane."
The brunette is silent, although Maura can tell that Jane's eyes are showing more pain than they did before. Was she hiding it?
"So I approached Barry this week, and I talked to him, and-"
"Hold on. You talked about me with Frost?" Jane interrupts angrily. "Are you gonna tell me you gossip with Audrey too?"
"I couldn't face you," Maura answers quietly. "I couldn't look at you and watch your eyes go cold as they swept over me. I couldn't do it."
Jane doesn't respond, and the blonde takes this chance to continue her story.
"Barry and I spoke, and he told me to go and talk to you," she says.
"So you're only talking to me because Frost told you to?" Jane asks, not believing this but still asking.
"No, Jane, I'm here because ... well, I miss you. I miss your talking and your attitude, and your friends, and us, whatever we are. I'm so sorry," Maura's voice lowers to a whisper, "I didn't even give you a chance to explain. I should have listened to you. I should have trusted you. I'm sorry."
Please love me.
Jane's features are still hard, determined to not give away what she's feeling.
"I don't trust easily, Maura. And when we were on Mission Hill, I finally trusted you enough to talk about my family without thinking you'd leave. But that's exactly what you did, you left me," Jane's voice cracks, and she lowers her eyes. The blonde knows a heart can't break, but it sure as hell feels that way.
"Jane. I didn't know! I didn't know what to do and it made me feel so insecure, because I always know what to do and what to say, but I couldn't and now I-" she falls silent when a smile appears on Jane's face. "What?" she asks.
"You're rambling," Jane says quietly.
Maura's heart swells when she looks at the dimples that have appeared on Jane's cheeks, and she wants nothing more than to kiss them.
"Please don't walk out on me, Jane," Maura whispers, voice trembling. "I know I deserve it, but I don't know what to do without you. I want you. I'm in love with you, Jane. And even if you don't feel the same, you just have to know." She falls silent after this confession, and Jane doesn't say a word either.
Did I just say that?
Jane fidgets, making Maura even more nervous because she doesn't respond.
"I hate you," barely audible, but there. Maura feels her heart constrict, and swallows twice to keep her tears at bay.
Jane lifts her head and meets hazel eyes, and Maura sees her pain and tears, now on full display. "I hate you, because ... no matter what you do, Maura, I know I'll always forgive you." A tear slips out and rolls down her cheek, but Maura's hand is there to catch it before it reaches Jane's chin. She keeps looking into dark brown eyes, but the brunette's gaze darts down to her lips and back up again.
"Please," Maura breathes, not wanting to break their spell. She sees the hesitancy in Jane's eyes, and she doesn't blame the brunette for it. She doesn't move, waiting for Jane to tell her if this is okay or not. If she loves her.
She strokes the brunette's cheek, wiping another tear away.
She's going to pull back and leave me here and-
"I want ... Can I kiss you?" Jane's voice is soft, but it doesn't waver. Maura nods, unsure if she could speak, even if she wanted to. All she can think is yesyesyes please.
The brunette's hand comes up to rest on the back of her neck, and gently pulls her closer until their lips touch.
Jane tastes even better than Maura imagined, and Lord knows she has tried. The brunette is like heaven, with soft lips and gentle hands, so different from her usual self. The blonde can't help the gasp that escapes her after a few seconds, and the sound of it makes Jane pull away from her, shocked.
What the hell just happened? Jane thinks, momentarily stunned by the feeling of Maura's lips on hers.
The blonde leans in again, subtly brushing her lips against Jane's, but not actually kissing her. She wants Jane to be in control of this new situation, because she's terrified she'll do something wrong and Jane will go away.
"I'm so sorry," Maura repeats against Jane's lips, so Jane rather feels the words than she actually hears them. The brunette presses her lips to Maura's again, a little more firm than the last time. The blonde's hand, which was still on Jane's cheek, moves to Jane's back and pulls her closer.
They trade gentle kisses, until Jane really needs oxygen, and pulls away. She meets hazel eyes and smiles, grabbing Maura's hands and pulling them in her lap.
"I love you too, Maura," Jane says, repeating Maura's words from a few minutes ago.
"You do?" the blonde says, somehow not expecting that answer, although Jane did kiss her.
"You really hurt me, but I also really, really love you," the brunette says. "And I get why you thought the things you did. Although I'd appreciate it if you'd listen to me and let me explain things before you walk away, okay?" she says it like it's a joke, but the serious undertone is something Maura doesn't miss.
"I promise, Jane," she says.
She knows that they're not okay yet, but this is a start, and she's willing to fight for every inch of Jane.
It turns late very quickly, and Jane decides she really has to go home now. Maura walks her to the door, handing over her coat. The brunette slips into it with ease, and crouches down next to her soccer bag to find her phone and her keys. When she's found them, she gets up and hugs Maura. They still fit together perfectly.
The blonde finds she cannot let her go. So when Jane pulls back, Maura grabs the collar of Jane's coat and pulls her in for a long, slow kiss, leaving Jane a little hazy.
"Will you stay over?" Maura asks when they separate. "Please?"
Jane hesitates, eyes darting to the floor nervously. "I don't know if I, you know, maybe we shouldn't .."
Maura follows Jane's line of thought, and .. "Oh! No, I didn't mean it like that. I just want to be with you, now I finally can, and I still need to talk to you about everything, because ... I really want to be in your life again, Jane."
How can Jane say no to that?
Right, she can't. She herself has some explaining to do too.
"I'll have to call Ma to let her know I'm staying here."
..
They are sitting on Maura's bed, a card game laying on the sheets in between them. Maura is thinking about her next move, but her thoughts get interrupted.
"Pop left," Jane says out of the blue, and Maura's head shoots up. "What?"
"He left a couple days after our fight. I came home to my parents fighting, not that that was unusual, but this time it seemed different. My mother was yelling at him to get out, instead of the other way around. Pop was begging to stay, but Ma told me afterwards that he slept with another woman. He broke her heart, Maur."
Maura is silent. I haven't been there for her.
"That's one of the reasons why I didn't come and talk to you again, Maura. I wanted to, but Pop left, and I had to take care of things at home. And I didn't know what you wanted. If you'd changed your mind about us not talking."
Hazel eyes meet brown ones, waiting patiently for Jane to finish.
"Also, I, uh, .. I was really scared." If Jane Rizzoli admits that she's scared, then must really mean something. "If Ryleigh was a drug dealer, and she was my friend, then what would I be? What would you think of me? Maybe you thought I was involved in it. I could have been, Maura, and I don't blame you if you thought that."
Maura doesn't know how to explain how much this means to her. Usually she's the only one saying sorry, even if it's someone else's fault. Now she has gotten the chance to explain things to Jane, and the brunette is now doing the same thing.
"So, thank you, Maura," Jane finishes, and Maura looks at her, surprised. "For what?"
"For coming to talk to me. I hate to say this, but my insecurities probably would've won, and even if I wanted to talk to you it'd be after three months. And then I'd feel stupid for coming back to you after such a long time. So thank you for doing this. And for loving me," Jane adds, smiling shyly.
"I don't really have a choice, do I?" Maura says, smiling as well.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Jane asks, pretending to be upset, but her little smile gives her away.
"It means," Maura starts, shoving the cards away and moving closer to Jane to grab her hands, "that I can't do other than love you. I'm really, really in love with you. You are amazing, and beautiful, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side."
Even if it's too straightforward, Maura really doesn't care. Jane's confessions, her honesty, it means the world to Maura. So that's what she says, because the brunette deserves to know. "I love you for telling all this to me. I know you're not a talker, and that this isn't easy for you either."
This time Jane is the one to initiate a kiss, and Maura is more than happy to oblige. How it went from not talking to each other for a month to kissing Maura on her bed in under three hours, Jane will never know. But she doesn't really care.
The brunette pulls back to look into hazel eyes, that are soft, caring, and beautiful.
"It's not like I can already completely trust you again, but I need to try and see if this works out. Because you're already the best thing that happened to me."
Jane doesn't let go of Maura's hand for the rest of the evening, and she falls asleep with Maura in her arms.
In this moment, there isn't anything else she'd wish for.
A/N: I always say to myself, "okay this and this is what I want in the chapter" and while I'm writing it, ten other situations pop into my head and I have to write them to see if it works. That takes a while, and some ideas are okay, making these chapters way longer than planned. Not that you mind, hopefully, but it sometimes takes a lot longer to update ;)
Anyway, hope you enjoyed this. Let me know.