Chapter XXXII – Beginning of a Journey
Recruits had gathered in the castle's inner courtyard, trying to defeat their assigned opponent in a sword fight — one of the many trials they had to undergo before gaining knighthood. Zelda looked down at them as she sat at her desk with many scrolls piling up on it and demanding her decisions. Yet neither they nor the ambitious men could gain her attention. Her thoughts, they still resided at the meeting an hour ago.
Many people of the court had brought up proposals, from adjusting taxes to plans of building a fortress in the east. Even though those discussions themselves had no unpleasant tidings, it was but the presence of one man troubling her ever since she noticed him, Aldar. The last time she saw him, it had been over six months ago.
Ever since his wounds from the battle with Ganondorf had healed up enough for him to take up a sword again, he had been confronted with the restrictions of his eyesight and his weakened hand. Though Aldar never talked about it, she felt how disgusted he was about his disabilities despite no one degrading him. Only shortly after, he had told her he would move to the furthest border of Hyrule to undergo training there. Though his reasons fell short, she believed it was because the men here knew him too well and he would feel miserable if they witnessed him be beaten by a recruit. Retirement was not an option, he made that very clear, yet he would feel uncomfortable to keep his rank, reached through the accomplishments of his past but unable to be sustained by his present self.
Zelda would have never declined his request. It was the least she could do for him after what happened, no matter how sad she felt to let go of another beloved man for a time unknown. Her own part in his suffering burdened her even though he had never complained that his misery was the result of her preserving Ganondorf's life against his advice.
It was surreal when Aldar stood in front of her on the day of his departure, she barely recognized him. His hair longer, his beard shaved-off, yet his wound still covered in bandages. His bright colored armor surprised her the most, for she had always see him in black. With this appearance, those who did not know him well enough would easily mistake him for another man. Even the testimonial letter for the fortress's headman written by one of his generals called him a different name.
Aldar had sent her a few letters over the months at her request yet he had never mentioned his return. Only when she had taken her place in the conference hall did she see him between all the other people. As a queen, she could not afford to get distracted when her folk addressed her but before she felt any happiness about his presence, the sight of Ganondorf's wrath on his face burned deep inside her mind. It nagged on her ever since then, even now this horrible sight would not leave her alone. And it would never again.
After the conference, Zelda had only shortly spoken with Aldar before she excused herself for feeling ill and needing time to rest at her chamber. As always, he did not object her, yet he must have noticed it was a shabby excuse. She felt even worse to have abandoned him without an explanation, for she at other times eagerly awaited his return even after shorter absences.
She just could not endure to look at him, even less to dare to be near him. Because that scar, that one scar running from hairline to chin, it was also the mark of her betrayal. And it would always remain there, visible to all, reminding her of her treason until the end of his days. Perhaps even hers.
Forlornly, Zelda rubbed her forehead as she pulled herself back to the present and shoved the papers aside. For today, she would not find peace for her uneasy mind and thus her paperwork was to be abandoned. How was she to treat Aldar – if she even could – after supporting Ganondorf? In all the months passing she cut it out of her mind yet it was foolish to think it would not catch up with her once Aldar returned.
Zelda did not know how much he knew about her and Ganondorf since he had an outstanding ability to keep his concerns to himself. He would rather die before he would open his mouth. Probably a necessary trait for a man of his responsibilities but it made it difficult for her to estimate his true emotions and thoughts. It always became the most obvious whenever the topic switched to the Gerudo. Even though she knew just how much he desired to extinguish their entire existence and neither made a secret out of his despise, she had never been able to tease out the origin of his extreme, almost obsessive wrath.
Of course the Gerudo had a very bad reputation, especially amongst men and many tales about their thievery and atrocities traveled around. Even being familiar with those stories since her childhood, she never believed the war between the Gerudo and the Hylians was the right course of action. This war had almost laid the kingdom in ruins. And to see all those wounded, those tortured and tormented, even those fallen of Hylian and Gerudo alike, it only strengthened her wish to one day bring peace between the two tribes. Peace that would not rely on the destruction and oppression but on compassion and understanding.
No matter the tales, it was wrong to solely blame the Gerudo for this madness and call their sentences of death the rightful consequence for their behavior. Though she never denied that the Gerudo were a tribe of fierce warriors that overstepped the laws of others, to blame them alone for their lifestyle was short sighted. The harsh sun had claimed many of their lives and they could never have chosen such a brutal environment on their own volition. Yet by the time passing, no one remembered the circumstances for their banishment to the desert but took it for granted the Gerudo would resign there forever without envying and desiring the prosperity of the others.
Today, only about two decades after the war ended, many people had lost the knowledge about the Gerudo and would not even notice if one appeared in front of them. Even so, the wounds of the war were very raw indeed and it only took one word claiming a woman as a Gerudo for the people to start crying for her blood. Intentions or deeds did not matter, they only quieted once they bathed in her blood. Cruel and blind they followed their old wounds, never questioned any of their actions, just claimed it justice.
Despite all, Zelda had never given up her dream of one day purging that brutal mindset out of her people's head. One day, she had indeed found a glimmer of hope to unite Gerudo and Hylian. He had entered her court after years of slavery and fought his way up into the ranks of knighthood despite the resistance he met due to his past and his arrogant attitude. At first, she had hoped that one day she could fight alongside him for a reunion and end the raging battle between their folks. With the time spent together, she soon saw Ganondorf not only as the Gerudo King… but also as a man stealing her heart.
She denied her feelings, for they were never meant to walk the way of life together, but after seeing how determined he was to leave for good after losing his status as a knight, she could not let him go. If he had left, all would have been lost and if the only way to make him stay was to take all her inner quarrels aside, it had to be so, even as it put her against a man loyal to her from the day of her birth. The decision weighed heavily on her heart, more than one sleepless night it caused her, yet it felt to be the right one.
Until one day all turned into a nightmare. Ganondorf learned the truth about his origin and folk, only to attack Aldar out of revenge. There was not any day which tore her more apart than witnessing two men dear to her turning into archenemies, desiring nothing but the death of the other. No mercy, they held no mercy for each other. If Ganondorf would have been executed on that following day, so too would have her hopes, her dreams for a united kingdom.
Forevermore.
"Zelda?" She started up from her thoughts, her arms hitting the desk.
"Ah… i-it is you," stumbled Zelda after she saw Link at the door, relieved it was not Aldar. "What brings you here?" She needed no answer when she looked at his green tunic and hat. Although she had seen it coming, she still could not hide her sorrow. "Then you have decided?"
"Yes, I have. I've spoken with Aldar and I have no doubts he'll resume his duty. The men truly brought him back to his old strength. But I've told you I'm going on my journey when I'm certain he'll be back." The determination shining in his eyes, swinging in his voice, they told her no one would discourage him from his decision. Not even her.
Despite her grief, she smiled. "Of course I remember. And of course I know no one is be able to keep you once you have declared your decision. It is the way I have come to know you and it is the way I admire. I will never forget our first encounter when you, despite all resistance from the forest's inhabitants to help a stranger, stood by my side in the Lost Woods." Zelda stood up and walked towards him. "Ganondorf is truly lucky to have gained your friendship that even cannot be shattered by your opposing bloodlines. I truly wish one day all others would follow your example."
"Thanks for the flattering words. If only he would see it like this as well." Link sighed forlornly. "Unfortunately, I haven't seen him ever since he escaped. On all my missions I've asked around if anybody had seen that hot-blooded red-hair, yet without success. He certainly isn't someone to just overlook and I'm not solely talking about his appearance." Zelda could not hide her smile. She understood too well Ganondorf's rather unique personality. "There's also something I have to give him back because it just doesn't feel right to steal from the King of Thieves. But if I want to find him, I have to go on a journey where I must not worry about my duties. And if I would decide to not go, only the Goddesses know what foolishness he's set into his mind this time. He truly has a knack for getting into trouble, I have more evidence for this than I ever have wished for."
Though the grief to let him go still claimed her mind, Zelda was relieved Link decided on his own to search for Ganondorf. "Link, you have my thanks. All of them. I will pray to the Goddesses your journey will be greeted with success. However…" She turned her view to the ground. The thought alone had always tortured her, more than once she pushed it away before it fully revealed itself and the inevitable consequences it meant. "However… I am afraid that it might be too late for him to return on our path. He gained knowledge in a way and from a man that could not have been more inconvenient. Even for him it might have been too much to still be able to stay at our side. I fear he already has chosen a destiny very different, maybe even against ours."
"Don't say that. Don't even think that!" She recoiled when Link laid his hand on her shoulder, rarely did he touch her once she had been crowned. His gaze was as solid and true as his heart, he had no doubts. "It is never too late to choose a different path. Never. I know it will not be easy to convince such a stubborn brute as him to come back, but I won't give up until I have, even when it means to throw my morals away and fool him." Link grinned yet his smile soon disappeared. "But one problem remains. And even after all this time I still don't know how to solve it. After what he has done, he can't just walk in here as if nothing had happened. Though I know Aldar as a calm and controllable man, I'm quite convinced by now even the mere sight of Ganondorf will turn him into a ruthless slayer and worse, I would wholeheartedly understand this. Not to mention the people here know who is responsible for his misery and we both know very well which side they'll be on."
Zelda kept silent. To this problem she had found no solution either. At least, not now. Ganondorf's action had shocked the whole court and more than once had she heard their curses about him being able to flee his death. For redeeming his deeds, her royal status alone would not suffice and could even shatter her people's trust by the mere attempt. Something she could not afford, not even for him.
"Well, Zelda, this will be goodbye then." Link brought her back from her thoughts. "I probably won't return anytime soon but don't worry. I'll keep you up to date with anything I learn."
"Yes, I will eagerly await it."
Link was on the verge of going. "Ah, Zelda, there is something else I'd like to tell you and as I won't be coming back anytime soon I should say so now. Only if I may of course."
Surprised, she looked at him, blind to what was on his mind. Of course he was allowed to speak, he had he been a dear friend ever since they met. "You know, Zelda, I will miss your sleeping spells, even though very few know of them. They're truly convenient, letting guardian and prisoner fall asleep alike to sneak through unnoticed by both. That way you can even preserve a life that all others have doomed. Not an easy choice to make since taking one side turns your back to the other. I honestly can't say if I would have had the courage back then to take action, especially as time was running out and called for a quick decision. You have my admiration because you had the courage to make that choice and carry around the burden for so many months, alone. So, it's only fair that it's now my turn to take off and get that doomed prisoner back here."
Zelda stared at him, feeling her hands trembling, yet she controlled her face. Not once, not even once had she spoken with Link or any other how it had been possible for Ganondorf to escape his prison and never had he asked any questions about the incident either. She never dared to entrust him with it, too great was the shame about the betrayal towards her own people. Too great the fear of the reaction she would earn by confessing her crime.
For the first time in many months, she felt a load taken off her heart for not keeping this secret alone anymore and to see Link still stood by her side. The relief soon vanished as she thought about another man. "Link, do you think Aldar carries this knowledge as well?"
At first surprised, probably Link had not thought she would confess her doings so soon after she had kept mute about it for months, he scratched his chin. He muttered under his breath before he returned to her. "Well, I wish I could just say 'no' but to be honest, I don't know. If he wants to, he can hide his emotions very well that even the ones closest to him can't tell what's going on in his mind. But I think that his trust in you denies him to even think about the possibility you lend Ganondorf a helping hand in the dungeon. He doesn't even want to see your closer liking on him. One day he probably should get to know the truth but at the moment it's the best if he doesn't. The situation is complicated enough already, letting him know now will only make things worse, assuming that is even possible."
She merely nodded. "Zelda, even though I'm in no position to make demands of you, I would really beg you to speak with him. I can understand how hard it might be for you to face him after all what happened but I fear even a man like him can break if he believes himself to be the reason for your rejection. In the end, he's still a soldier who swore to serve and protect his queen, don't take this away from him by avoiding him like the plague. That probably hurts him a lot more than every injury he caught in his life. And he has caught a lot."
"I probably should," whispered Zelda to herself. She already felt the tension arising by the mere thought of approaching him. Link only gave her a sign of goodbye and she still remained at the door when she watched him walk away.
Forlornly, she sighed. How much she wished he was right. That there was still an opportunity to bring Ganondorf back. A chance to convince the court to cancel his execution. That the soldiers would regain their trust in a fellow knight. A possibility to reason with Aldar to not slay him on first sight.
Zelda closed the door. It all felt like a dream of a fool who awaited his harsh awakening. She still hoped Link would be fast enough before the last light vanished, leaving Ganondorf to nothing but the darkness. That he would be fast enough so that Ganondorf would not rise to the King of Darkness the legends told about, the destiny of all the Gerudo men before him. He had proved so well he could walk on another path.
She could only pray it was not too late to save him. Only pray.