Author's Notes…

Thanks to rabid behemoth for beta'ing for me!

Nobody Needs to Know

Chapter Three

Finding the Line

February 20, 2017

There was a knock on Cloud's apartment door, sharp and determined. He knew who it was immediately and honestly thought about not answering. He didn't want to deal with Sora right now. And it wasn't that he didn't want to see his brother… it was the opposite, of course. He wanted to see Sora more than he wanted to breathe at times, and he didn't consider himself an overly dramatic person. But it was painful. Brutal.

What was the word for when you knew you couldn't have something, and just seeing what you couldn't have, day after day, month after month, year after year, dangling in front of you, so far out of reach…?

Oh, yeah. Heartbreak.

Cloud opened the door, and this time he made sure to completely block it with his body, mostly just sticking his head out. He wasn't going to fall for that last trick of Sora's. No foot in the door today.

"What the hell do you want, Sora?"

The wind completely taken out of his sails, Sora dropped his hand and hesitated. He'd clearly been ready to dispense some big speech. Better to head it off, then.

"Go. Away."

Did he enjoy being this cold to his brother? No. But the alternative, the idea of letting Sora in again, and then Sora realizing he didn't want this, that it was sick, that he couldn't bear to be around Cloud… well, it went straight back to that whole heartbreak thing.

"Cloud—"

"I have nothing to say to you," Cloud stressed. Maybe if he was mean enough, Sora would finally get the picture and beat it.

Fresh resolve colored those blue eyes, and Sora's lips pressed together.

Or maybe not.

"Sora," Cloud began.

His brother lunged forward, and Cloud only had a second to process that he wasn't being attacked before soft lips were on his, and Sora's hands were buried in his hair.

Fuck.

Sora didn't know what he was doing. He didn't. Cloud knew this, so knew this, yet that wasn't helping his resolve one bit. Didn't Sora realize what a dangerous game he was playing? Cloud seemed so cool and composed, yeah, but he wasn't… underneath that thin layer of indifference was a beast waiting to ravage the oh-so-inviting feast throwing itself in his arms.

"Sora—"

Another kiss.

"You don't know what you're doing—!" was all he got out before Sora kissed him again.

"Damn it, Sora!"

Kiss.

"Sora, I can't control—"

Kiss, kiss.

"Stop—I—"

Kiss.

Cloud growled low in his throat. He was only half-present, his thoughts on what he wanted to do to Sora, and it was his body's last way of warning Sora off.

And kiss.

Fuck it.

Cloud yanked his reedy brother inside, kicked shut the door because his neighbors were too damn nosy, and slammed Sora into a wall for the second time that month. His brother's eyes went wide right before Cloud slipped his fingers into silky brown locks and tilted his face up. Sora had one additional second after that, and then Cloud's lips claimed his.

He knew Sora wasn't going to come back after this. Why? Because Cloud was about to do the one thing that would scare him off: he was going to pour the last near decade of want, need, desire, and love into this kiss.

It was rough. It could have been rougher; Cloud relented at the last second. He did, however, thrust his tongue into Sora's mouth as his hands rounded over those skinny hips. He explored his brother's mouth with the attentiveness he'd been dreaming of for years. It was hungry, wet, fast, and it was some of his best work.

All designed to make Sora get. the fuck. out. What sane person would want to stick around after they'd been truly kissed like a lover from their brother?

As he had the last time Sora visited, Cloud slid a knee between Sora's thighs. He pressed Sora back into the wall, his teeth claiming the younger man's lips before he delved into his mouth once more.

While all this was going on, this rush of adrenaline, Cloud had failed to notice a crucial detail, and it hit him now, a wallop over the head that left him winded.

Sora was kissing him back.

His hands were curled in Cloud's shirt.

His eyes were squeezed shut.

He was leaning forward on his tiptoes.

The heat that flooded Cloud was fierce and hard to bank. He didn't do a good job of it, evidenced by the way Cloud gripped Sora's ass and grinded his thigh up. Sora's tongue was darting around his, with more skill than Cloud would have guessed, and he was making these fucking cute little noises, and oh, Christ—

Sora's cock was hard, and it was right against Cloud's thigh. His mind raced. Sora… hard. From kissing him. Almost as if he wasn't disgusted. But no. Sora hadn't thought this through. He was an empathetic little shit, always had been. He'd cry at the slightest provocation, like an animal dead on the side of the road. Admittedly only, like, dogs and cats, but still.

There was no God-damned way Sora actually wanted Cloud. He knew Cloud was in pain, and he wanted to do something about it the only way he thought he could.

Cloud rubbed up against Sora's groin a second time, and it worked like a charm.

Sora's eyes snapped open as he inhaled like he'd surfaced from cold water. They met Cloud's. They moved back and forth frantically, darting from one eye to the next. His hands, gripping Cloud's shirt, now flattened, pushing at Cloud's chest.

Cloud took a few steps back to let him go. It hurt more than he would have liked. He'd known this was going to happen. That had been the whole idea. He was ridiculous to have expected anything else.

His brother put his hand over his kiss-bruised mouth.

"Nnngh!" he choked out.

Cloud folded his arms. His own arousal was trapped in his jeans, painful and demanding something be done about it. The bastard could wait.

Without another word, Sora left.

Cloud sighed and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck before cricking it. He locked up and went to his bedroom to take care of the monster before he jetted to work. There was no way it was going to go down on its own anytime soon.

"Sora. Calm the hell down. You're going to wear a hole in the hardwood."

Pace, pace, pace.

Pace, pace, pace.

"I mean," Sora began, his hand working as he talked, as he continued to walk circles in the living room of his home. "Okay."

"Okay…"

"I mean…" He bit his lip. "Yeah."

"You do realize you're not actually saying anything, right?" Riku grumped.

More pacing.

An annoyed sigh from Riku's end.

"Look, say… say you had a brother."

"I don't."

"Right, but pretend you had one, anyway."

Riku rolled his eyes and made himself comfortable on the couch. He'd cottoned on to the idea that he was stuck here.

"What would you do if he made the moves on you? Like… told you he was in love with you?"

His friend studied his nails, one arm slung over the back of the couch. "I mean, is this a serious question, or…?"

"Just answer me, Riku!" Sora snapped.

"Okay, crackhead. I mean, honestly, I'm not sure I'd really care that much."

Sora halted. Turned around. Staaaaared at Riku. "What?"

"I'm just saying, I look at dead bodies all day, every day. I've seen shit that would give you nightmares, Sor. I've helped solve cases that would do more than give you nightmares."

"Your point?"

Riku leaned forward, his arms on his knees, his hands laced together in front of him. "My point is that you need to get to wherever the hell you're going with this, 'cause there's a shower calling my name. I don't, you know, particularly like smelling like the corpses I'm around all day."

Sora took a breath. This was hard. This was so, so hard. He'd been agonizing over it ever since Cloud's declaration, especially since he'd Googled incestuous couples, and he still had no real idea how Riku was going to react. Disgusted? Wasn't that normal?

"CloudtoldmehewasinlovewithmeandIdon'tknowwhattodoaboutitpleasehelpme."

Riku blinked.

Sora blinked.

"I mean, do you love him?" Riku ventured at length.

"I—" Ready to defend his brother, somehow, Sora stopped at this. "Wait, what?"

"Do you love him?" Riku stressed, speaking slowly enough that Sora narrowed his eyes in ire. Riku knew exactly how to push his buttons.

"He's my brother, of course, I do!"

"No, fucktwat. Are you in love with him?"

"No!" Sora hugged himself. He wasn't sure why, he just needed the comfort. Riku certainly wasn't going to give it to him. "What kind of question is that?"

"You just told me your brother's in love with you and you want my help. Why does this surprise you?" Riku shook his head. "Anyway… do you think you could be?"

"I…" Sora knew his first instinct should have been to answer no. It was what any normal, sane person would do. So then why was he hesitating…?

"Well, you're clearly not against the idea, if your immediate response wasn't cringing in disgust and going ewwww." Riku stood. "I don't know what you want me to tell you. There's only two ways this can go. You either go with it, or you don't."

"Why does it have to be so black and white?" Sora protested.

"Because if he's in love with you, and you're not in love with him, you're just torturing him, Sora. I gotta take a shower, we can talk more after this."

"Coffee?" Sora asked hopefully.

"Sure."

"I don't understand why you bought that thing if you're not going to drink it."

Riku eyed Sora's monstrous peppermint disaster with great dislike. He hated liquids with peppermint in them and cringed every time Sora purchased them.

"Because my nerves are shot! I haven't slept or eaten in days." Sora gripped onto his stomach pudge and pouted at it. "Can't you tell I've lost some weight?"

"Um…" Riku looked dubious. "You snarfed down a whole can of Pringles and a bag of powdered donuts before you went to bed last night. The real question is, why haven't you gained any?"

Sora glared.

"So why are we here again?"

"Because I went to his apartment today… and I—I kissed him."

"Okay…"

Sora waited. And waited some more.

Nothing.

"Really, that's your only reaction?" Sora finally took a sip of his drink to give his hands something to do.

"Just fuck him, get it out of your system, out of his system, and then…" Riku shrugged. "Eh. Figure it out from there."

Sora choked so hard on his peppermint mocha that it went out his nose.

"Gross…" Riku observed.

February 28, 2017

"Hi, Sora…! Um, you don't know me yet, but this is Cloud's roommate, Aerith. He mentioned he had a brother the other day, and believe it or not, that old softie has a framed picture of you, too! Anyway, sweetie, we're throwing him a surprise birthday party tonight at 8:00 at 7th Heaven. I know this is last minute, but we didn't know what it was going to be like with his schedule… Please be there thirty minutes early, if you can! Okay, bye!"

Sora saved the voicemail with a small frown. He'd just gotten out of class and had missed the call from the unknown number. So many questions…

First: Who the hell called someone they didn't know and left a voicemail about a surprise birthday party? Not that she didn't sound very, very sweet. She'd even called him "sweetie." Only his mom did that.

Second: All of that aside… should he even go to this thing? The last time he'd seen Cloud was two days ago, and it hadn't ended well…

But he could hear Riku's voice in the back of his mind, urging him to do this. The whole argument about how Sora couldn't find out what he really wanted until he… well, Sora was keeping it G-rated. Cloud loved him, and… and he was in pain, and… and that wasn't enough. Cloud had made it clear he couldn't be around Sora. But the only way for Sora to figure out what he wanted was to be around Cloud…

Maybe they could come to… some sort of compromise?

Besides, he thought. If he was at a surprise party with Cloud, there wasn't exactly a chance for Cloud to get away. Or be a douche, really. Not unless he wanted to be called out on it. No, whenever Cloud was somewhere he didn't want to be, surrounded by people, he defaulted to icily quiet.

Sora tapped the top of his phone against his chin. He had another class in twenty minutes, but…

He tapped a few buttons on his phone and placed it to his ear.

"Aerith? Hi, this is Sora!"