Chapter 38

"Geez, Bobby, where are you gonna put all this stuff?" Lewis asked, glancing around and taking in the couch, the recliner, the kitchen table, and the boxes.

"I didn't like subletting. I felt like all my stuff was… was… not mine anymore."

"But you can't fit all this in Alex's place. She'd kill you if you even tried."

"I know."

"So what are you going to do?"

Bobby scratched his head and looked around. "I guess… I guess I'll get a storage unit?"

"I guess. Bobby, are you sure you want to do this? I mean, why not just keep the place in mothballs or something."

"Too… too expensive. I can rent a storage unit fairly cheap. I could sublet again, but… my landlord wasn't too happy with it and it's hard to find good renters." He folded his arms and frowned. "Besides, I… uh… I think I'm going to have to take some leave without pay, and no income with all this expense…"

"Hey, whatever you say, man. I'm just the brawn here." After sharing a smile, they organized Bobby's things into two areas of the apartment. One housed things he would keep; the other things that would go to storage.

"When you rescheduled, I was worried. Everything all right?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, well, not all right, but okay I guess."

Dr. Tenorio waited for him to explain.

"Alex has preeclampsia. She's on bedrest, and we had a lot of… adjustments to make."

"I see."

"I'm moving in with her again."

"Is that good?"

"Yeah. Of course it's good. Why would you say that?"

"Do you think it's not?"

"No! You're… you're twisting my words around."

She smiled slightly, and he turned his back to her and lowered his head.

"I think we should live together. I think we should be together, as a family, when the baby comes. Alex… agreed." The doctor was silent, and he finally turned enough to see her out of the corner of his eye. "Okay, I guess I convinced her to agree."

"It must mean a lot to you."

"My father… was in and out of our lives… all the time… until he was out for good. Frank told me that when I was born… he didn't even hang around the hospital. He took off before she even brought me home." Bobby scratched his head. "Of course, now I know there may have been another reason for that."

"Oh?"

"My mother… had an affair. She told me about it before she died." His face screwed up and he corrected himself. "I found out about it before she died. And she confirmed it." He made eye contact for a split second. "He was a serial killer."

She couldn't hide her surprise. For a moment, the doctor stammered. "Th-that must have been quite a shock to discover."

"Yeah, well… he was my father… but he wasn't my Dad. The one I called Dad was the one who was in and out." Bobby paced the length of the room and then flopped onto the couch. "I want to… be there… for my daughter. I want to be there for Alex."

"You want to be everything those men were not."

He looked at her and nodded.

"How has it been? Have you had disagreements?"

"Oh, sure we disagree all the time."

Her eyes were smiling at him, even if her mouth wasn't.

"That's not what I meant. We disagree, but we… we talk. It's good. It's better."

"Arguments?"

"A few."

"How's that going?"

"I… you know, I'm… I'm telling her what I think… how I feel."

The doctor nodded and made a note in her ledger.

"Actually the last bad one we had… I wasn't sleeping well, and my partner said something to her, and she said something to me, and then I had to talk down a gunman and then she was pushing herself so hard at work and she started having symptoms…"

"You weren't sleeping?"

"I was sleeping. Just not very well."

"How long did that go on?"

He groaned. "Ah… I don't know a week… maybe two."

"How much sleep do you think you were getting?"

"You know, it was enough. A few hours here and there."

"Does this happen to you often?"

"Now and then."

"What do you do… when you can't sleep?"

"I… I uh… I read. I work. I walk around."

She smiled. "Sounds like what you do normally."

"Yeah, sure. Just… more of the same."

"Do you ever hear voices?"

"I'm not schizophrenic."

"I didn't say you were."

"You're trying to… pin a diagnosis on me just because I have a little trouble… sleeping."

"I'm not, Robert. I'm trying to see if I can't help you get more sleep. All people need to sleep."

"That's what Alex said."

"How do you explain it?"

"Oh, you know. I just, I get to thinking, and sometimes there's too much in my head… and I either let it run round or I do something to distract myself."

"Have you ever taken anything for it?"

"I don't like to take medication."

"Have you ever taken anything to help you sleep?"

Finally, he shook his head. "I… I uh… get call outs in the middle of the night sometime. I have to be up and ready."

She scrawled out a prescription. "Try it. Just in case you ever need something."

"Bobby! Good to see you." Johnny approached and warmly shook Goren's hand.

"How is she, Johnny?" Bobby asked. He hadn't intended to stay out so long, but he wasn't in a good frame of mind when he left Tenorio's office. He'd called and spent some time walking off his frustration.

"She hates being stuck in bed. She's trying hard, though. She didn't complain at all."

"Thanks. Thanks, Johnny." Bobby let Johnny out and took his suit coat off. He hung it in the closet, then removed his tie and stuck it in his pocket. As he walked to the bedroom, he loosened the buttons on his shirt.

She was leaning on pillows against the headboard, watching tv. Her eyes searched his. She knew he'd been upset after the therapy, and she was curious about his state of mind now.

"Sorry," he said.

"No, Bobby. Don't be sorry. I know those sessions are hard for you. And it's okay if you need a little space sometimes."

He blinked, and tried to process what she was saying. "I don't like to be away from you, but I don't want to be here and do something I'll regret."

She smiled. "I know." With her hand out, she invited him to join her on the bed.

Bobby slid in beside her and accepted Alex's kiss. She lapped at his lips hungrily, and he was surprised by her eagerness. They broke apart, panting. "I… uh…"

"I love you."

He broke into a grin.