So it's been a while. Please don't crucify me… I promised not to abandon this story and I never break a promise, plus I love this fic far too much to leave it to rot. The next several chapters will be posted in quick succession to make up for my long absence. I'm back, baby!

By the way, in this chapter Mello comments on how he "literally wrote the book on the Los Angeles BB murder cases." What he's referring to if you did not know is that the book in which BB himself is featured is meant to be read as if Mello had written them. This is not a spoiler, as that is said in the first few pages of the book.

Reviews make me super happy and keep me motivated, the more I get the faster I'm likely to write.

Mail Jeevas' P.O.V.

I heard the familiar creak of the mail slot. Maybe that idiot mob boss finally decided to stop being a moron and just do what Mello says. He's only got two days left before we burn his house to the ground with his grandmother inside it. I hated arson jobs, they were so annoying. Shooting, on the other hand, those were a ton of fun, especially when you held the gun.

I finished lighting my cigarette and bent down to pick the new envelope off the floor. It was bulky. This obviously wasn't a letter, there was some kind of object inside. I stared at it curiously, then pulled a knife out of my pocket to open it. When the paper tore open, I raised my eyebrows at the contents. It was full of chocolate. Not Mello's favorite kind, but I'm sure he'd eat it anyway, as soon as he was sure it wasn't poisoned. People were always trying to kill the bastard. It was the decade's biggest eye roll.

"Surprise!" I heard a voice shout from the doorway. Instinctively I pulled out my gun and pointed it at the intruder, ready to capture or kill if necessary.

Then my jaw dropped. Was I hallucinating? It was none other than Ellie Lawliet, staring at me. Her skin glowed in the faint light, and all the scars she should have had from the Mikami incident were nonexistent. She looked positively ethereal. What was truly odd, though, was the fact that she wasn't standing outside the door, or even in it, she was leaning through it, like it was no more than mist to her. I noted with a tinge of disappointment that her incredibly cute butt was not visible from this angle.

I continued to aim the gun at her brain. This has got to be some weird trick. "Who are you, and what are you doing here?" I kept my voice casual yet demanding.

She looked genuinely hurt, "Really? You don't recognize me? I know it's been a while, but I didn't know I was that easy to forget." She stepped the rest of the way through the door and my eyes impulsively wandered down her extremely pleasing form. Damn… She's even hotter than I remember. L sure knew how to pick 'em.

"Of course I recognize you," I narrowed my eyes, "That's why I know you're not you. The real Ellie should be covered in scars, and your skin doesn't even have a pimple. Who are you, and why are you impersonating my friend?"

She laughed, "Oh, okay, that's all. I thought you'd forgotten me, and I was about to be really sad for a minute there." Without answering my question, or acknowledging the gun I pointed directly at her skull, she jumped forward and hugged me excitedly, "It's so good to see you. We've really missed you, you know. I wanted Nate to get to know you, but I haven't seen you since the wedding, and we haven't heard much from you." She then released me from the hug – from which I had been caught unawares and was now somewhat dazed – and walked right passed me.

On the off chance that this really was Ellie, which it couldn't possibly be, I moved the gun from her head to her leg, so as not to kill her. I pulled the trigger, shooting her directly in the achilles tendon. It was a shot designed to immobilize, but not mortally wound.

It didn't make a scratch.

"What the hell was that about," I heard Mello shout irritably from the next room.

I merely stood there, shell shocked. What was this thing? Some sort of shape-shifting shinigami?

She, on the other hand just looked back at me, gave me a mischievous wink, and moved toward the room where Mello was busy mapping out all the latest Kira killings. Or, more accurately, he was leaning against a wall eating chocolate while he made his minions sort through papers and do it for him.

Confused and on alert, I rushed to beat the Ellie impersonator to the door, blocking her way. "Stop right there," I ordered, holding the useless gun up to her face, "What are you?"

She just rolled her eyes, obviously amused, and then proceeded to walk directly through me.

I barely felt a thing. There was a slight warmth, like sunlight, but it was subtle, and it was gone as quickly as it came. It might have been the strangest experience I'd ever had, aside from being shot and killed, then waking up in an alternate dimension.

"Mello!" She shouted excitedly, running forward and pulling him into a hug as well. He wasn't sure how to react. Mello was not the touchy-feely type. Even I had never hugged him, and we've been practically brothers for as long as I can remember.

"What the hell?"

The other men in the room looked at him curiously, "What's the matter, boss?"

Ignoring them, he pushed her off, putting enough force into the blow to knock down a bull. She merely stepped back politely and smiled at him.

"Good to see you too. I brought you a present." She held out the envelope full of chocolate that I just realized she took from me without my noticing.

He just stared at her, "Ellie?"

She curtsied dramatically, "In the flesh."

The men looked confused, "Uhhh, sir? Who's Ellie?"

Mello made his subordinates leave the room so he could scrutinize our intruder properly. Once he was sure we were alone, he looked at her suspiciously. "Okay, prove it."

"Prove what?" She asked.

"Prove that you're the real Ellie." He kept his voice blank, cautious to ensure he didn't give this creature any information, only that he received it.

She shrugged, "Okay, fine. My name is Ellie Lawliet, formerly known as Ellie May. I am married to L Lawliet, who just so happens to be a character in a very popular anime. You two are also from said anime. Your real names are Mail Jeevas and Mihael Keehl. Light Yagami is Kira, and has now travelled to this world in some kind of spirit form, trying to once again gain the title of a god in this dimension. Shinigami are a thing, and L and I sent you multiple sheets of paper torn from various Shinigami's death notes in order to help your separate investigation, despite your obvious distain for outside help. Also, something you did not know, I died in childbirth and came back as a god of life. Remember the time you got an envelope that just had hair in it? That's how you can see me. That's also why your little pets seemed so confused. To them, you looked like you were talking to thin air, and having muscle spasms, because I have not touched them. That may answer some questions" She stared back at us, "Should I go on?"

I didn't know how to react to that. Mello kept his usual angry-but-in-control-of-everyone composure, but I could tell – only because I've known him so long – that he wasn't sure what to make of this either.

"Okay," Mello said "Fine, I believe you. There would not be much to gain from someone pretending to be Ellie, and if they did, no one would come up with a story that ridiculous. Now what in the name of Wammy's is a god of life? Some sort of shinigami?"

"Not quite," Ellie answered, sitting down on a chair. I could swear her skin was glowing even more than it was before. The light in this room was not that flattering, there's got to be something else going on. She continued, "Gods of life are essentially the opposite of a shinigami. They bring death, we bring life. It's all a balance. We're the Yin to their Yang, I guess you could say."

"Oh, I get it," I interrupted, "gods of life keep life flowing, and gods of death keep things from getting over populated, is that right?"

She smiled, "Yes, that's how it used to be. Sadly, the shinigami grew idle, so we've had to slow our progress down as well. Since then, nature has taken its course, and now you're all stuck with global warming and over increasing population rates. Letting humans regulate themselves always ends in disaster. Everything is off-balance now. Kira is only making it worse with his biased killings."

"That still doesn't explain why you, a person who was definitely just a human, is now supposedly a god," Mello eyed her.

"Ah, yes, about that…"

Ellie went on to tell us about how she was sent here in human form, then died, and ended up as she is now. Mello and I listened in interested silence. It was quite the tale, and she went into incredible detail. (I was particularly amused with the bit about the wolf spiders. Man, I wish I could've seen it.) At one point, I pulled out my game to keep me occupied while I listened. Sitting around doing nothing could get tedious if I didn't have my game with me. Ellie didn't seem to mind.

However, I immediately stopped and looked up when she mentioned that BB was back. That asshole was batshit crazy. If he was here, we'll be having a lot of fun taking him down. Things were finally getting interesting.

I wondered if anyone else had arrived here. A, or maybe Naomi Misora. They could be anywhere. At least, the ones who have died certainly could. Even that annoying guy on Sakora TV could have ended up here. There were a lot of deaths in our old world. Knowing that people can arrive here somewhere other than that tiny closet was an important piece of information that I had no doubt would interest Mello.

By the time she was done, the sun had gone down and the bunker was virtually empty, except for a few guards. All of Mello's thugs had left to go do whatever it is they do when they're not under his immediate control. Probably threaten some poor old business owners out of their lunch money. Whatever the reason we were blissfully alone, so no one could interrupt us.

"And I thought the whole concept of the notebooks was weird…" I mused, "This is in a league in and of itself."

"And BB is here, which I'm sure I don't have to tell you is bad news for L, as well as both of you," Ellie looked pointedly at Mello and I, "If Kira finds out that more people have or even can travel here by means other than through shinigami, all he has to do is do a quick internet search to find out your names. In seconds both of you, as well as L, could be dead. That's why I need your help."

"Our help?" Mello spoke sourly, "Why should you need our help when you have the original L at your beck and call? He's more than capable of handling BB, he did it before. I should know. I literally wrote the book on the Los Angeles BB murder cases, the only people who know more about it are L and BB himself."

Mello's typical angry attitude didn't seem to bother Ellie. But something that Mello said made her frown. "What's wrong," I asked after a moment too long of silence.

She sighed, "I guess I should just tell you. I sort of shouted at L and said some rather harsh things… Plus I'm incredibly frustrated with him at the moment. Every conversation we have is about Kira, from the moment I met him, through our entire relationship, Kira-Kira-Kira." Her voice grew increasingly annoyed with every word she spoke. She went on for nearly an hour. Soon she was straight-up ranting. She went on and on, plopping down onto a couch as if we were her therapists, "I mean, he even went so far as to threaten Nate, saying that if I didn't do as he asked then our son would be in danger. I was so angry I punched him hard enough that he flew across the room."

I laughed out loud at that, "Ha! Now that's an image. I can't picture L losing a fight, let alone flying across a room in a single hit."

"Oh, he needed stitches in his scalp and he had a bruise on his stomach for the next week, but I don't feel bad," she tilted her head up defiantly, "he deserved it." That sent me into a fit of laughter that refused to ebb for the next several minutes.

As I cackled, Mello spoke for the first time in a while, "How the hell did you manage to beat him at chess? Even I haven't been able to do that."

She shrugged, "Practice, I guess?"

Someone knocked at the door. Mello growled, "What do you want?"

"Boss," the muffled voice of an obvious smoker wafted through the door, "We found out where your guy is. He's in some abandoned warehouse in Tokyo."

"Yeah, we know, now get out of here before I lose my patience and decide to shoot that useless brain of yours out of your thick skull," Mello ordered.

"Uhh… Boss?"

Mello responded by firing a warning shot at the ceiling, "I said beat it!"

I heard footsteps shuffling away quickly. We looked back at Ellie, "Okay," I asked, "Let's get started. Where exactly is BB?"

A slow grin crept across her ethereal face.