This chapter might be hard for some people, drug use and violence, just a warning
Rachel picked up a piece of paper, which she recognised had Alicia's messy handwriting on
'july 6th 2010 , today started off normal but quickly turned into the worst day of my life, Jesse started his usual rant at me about me not paying my way, I rolled my eyes at him. Big mistake. He slapped me really hard, my cheek stung and the blow was so loud it echoed in my head. He told me there was a guy coming for me at 2pm and that I was to do anything he wanted - that would be my way of earning my keep. I wasn't stupid I knew what he wanted, so I refused I said I'd find somewhere else to live and that I'd go search for my mum. He said that he knew she didn't want me or love me and unfortunately I know it's right, so I just stood there not knowing what to do. Anyway 2 I clock came and I was met by this fat guy who smelt really bad a mixture of alcohol and awful b-o he gave Jesse a loa of notes and then took my hand and lead me to his car. It was a black Porsche with gorgeous seats, it was like the one I imagined mum to have when I thought she would come an pick me up from school. He drove me to his hotel room, if I wasn't there under the circumstances I would have loved the room it was elegant, the walls were decorated a lovely shade of purple and there was a four poster bed. He told me to strip, I hesitated and then he struck me... I'm sure I'm going to get a bruise there tomorrow! At this point I hurriedly undressed and lead in the bed, knowing full well what I had to do. Bu before I knew it instead of him joining me on the be he did something I wasn't expecting. He got from his bag a strip of clothe and tied it tightly round my right arm. It hurt really bad and soon the circulation stopped in my eye. All I remember feeling after that was a pain on my bottom lip, as I had been biting it so hard trying not to scream and silent tears were running down my cheeks, ten suddenly this weird sensation rushed through my arm, I hated it, it made me feel queasy and I suddenly couldn't see everything had got blurry, the last thing I remember is him removing a syringe from my wrist. I don't know how long I was out or, but when I woke I noticed my arm going blue. I panicked and quickly when to untie the tightly knife piece of cloth on my arm, that was when I realised he was lead back on the chair watching me, he had been pleasing himself to my pain, I lost in then big time, school had always told me to remove myself from the situation but here? How could I? In my eyes he was a disgusting lonely man who had laughed at my humiliation I kept throwing punches wherever I could reach, but he was too strong for me, he wrestled me to the ground and threatened me to keep quiet or he would report back to Jesse that I hadn't been good... This won me over I couldn't imagine the beatings I'd get if he told him. We got back to Jesse's house and thankfully the guy didn't tell Jesse anything but said he wanted to see me. I felt and still feel to this moment physically sick. It's stupid but u can't stop crying or shaking I've never said this since primary school, but I really want my mum,if only I'd put my foot down that night I went to see her I wouldn't be in this shit now'
Rachel found it hard to get to the end of the diary entry, tears were creeping into her eyes, the shame of how she turned her daughter away stabbed at her heart. She quickly passed the entry to Adam and ran to the toilet, not able to keep her stomach down for much longer.
She came back and Adam was shaking with fury 'How are there people out there who could do this, if I ever find who did this to you Alic, I will kill them, I mean it' Adam said sincerely to Alicia
'It's done now, we can't go back and change it' Alicia simply shrugged her shoulders and handed the adults another piece of paper
Adam got handed a newspaper clipping 'girl, 15 found in a coma after overdosing on drugs, we can't identify the girl for legal reasons but we understand she intentionally wanted to end her life'
'You were in a coma?' Adam asked shocked
'Yeah, It's a long story.. I was in a dark place, the fat man kept giving me drugs all different ones, and I got hooked quite quickly, I ended up begging to see the man to get my fix and he started making me smoke weed too, and then when I got money from my jobs my earnings went on drugs, I couldn't go a day without my fix. But even through that I hated drugs, I was ashamed of what I'd become of what people saw of me - so I decided I didn't want to be the monster anymore, I just didn't want to be anything'
'How did you get clean?'
'After I ran away from hospital...'
Rachel and Adam both looked confused
'I didn't want them to contact mum, and to see what a failure I had become...' Alicia explained 'after I left, I realised that was my wake up call and this was my chance to get things back on track, I got in contact with a charity called 'Hope House' and they put me in their half way house and cleaned me up - I guess I was lucky, not many people escape the route with their lives. Anyway my main determination was to be ready for Waterloo road, I wanted to prove you wrong that I wasn't a waste of space - but all I seem to be doing is making your lives hell'
Rachel went and knelt by her daughter 'come here' and with that Alicia let out the most heart wrenching cry into her mothers shoulder as they embraced. Adam moved to the sofa behind them, and put a protective arm round his wife and Alicia. Rachel couldn't help but think if the circumstances were different she'd e happy, she had her living husband and her beautiful daughter together, a proper family unit.
After a while, Rachel let go off Alicia and found the bag of weed. 'Alicia why do you have this?'
'It'll sound stupid..' Alicia said not to comfortably
'Go on..' Rachel said her headmistress voice creeping in again
'I..I like to keep it under my pillow at night, as it shows me before I go to sleep and when I wake up, how far I've come and it's kind of a warning to me, never to go back to that place, I know I sound like a loon, but it's like a comfort to me'
Rachel didn't have the heart to take it off her daughter just yet, as she had just been so brave and had come so far, she just went back and pulled her daughter into another hug
The three of them stayed there, all taking things in, but the three of them sat there, as a family
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