Christmas was nearly upon Waterloo road, every corridor held a festive buzz, and everyone including Rachel could not wait to finish school and start the holidays with their families

Rachel and Alicia were at school one Saturday putting up all the decorations

'I cannot believe you got me at school on a Saturday mum' Alicia moaned

'Lighten up Alicia, it's Christmas, come on pass me those paper chains... Now where is that tape'

Alicia threw her mum the paper chains and then went off as she couldn't be bothered with her mum stressing, she didn't see what all the fuss was about

After finding the tape, Rachel sighed as she saw her daughter walked up. Alicia hadn't seen particularly interested in helping and hadn't been that bothered about Christmas, Rachel on the other hand was like a small child, she had always loved Christmas and couldn't wait to spend her first proper one at home with her daughter

After several attempts, Rachel had put the paper chains up, they brightened up this particular corridor, the colours stood out against the dull cream colour of the walls. She then went to search for her daughter, Rachel looked everywhere, she was about to give up when she saw her daughter through on of the widows. The headmistress went to see her daughter outside, Alicia was sat in the communal gardens, smoking.

'Alicia for gods sake, it's Saturday and you've just earned yourself a detention'

Alicia jumped, she had no idea her mum was watching her

'What mum that's so unfair, I don't even want to be here?'

'Alicia I've told you before, no smoking on school grounds. Whatever the day of the week - the rule still applies'

Alicia put her cigarette out and just stared blankly in the other direction

'Alicia what's wrong sweetie?'

'Apart from getting detention ...nothing' Alicia didn't say it spitefully, in fact there was hardly any emotion in her voice

'I don't believe you for a second, lively you can tell me, we can sort it out'

'There's nothing anyone can do, I'm just being silly'

'Alicia darling tell me'

'Well... It's just Christmas - I hate it'

'Ok why's that?'

Alicia rolled her eyes 'mum can you just leave it please'

'Alicia no, now spill'

'Fine... Christmas just reminds me of my shit childhood. When I couldn't go home with you in the holidays, school would send me to 'guardians' they only had me there because they got paid, and it just made me feel unwanted. I used to see their kids get presents and have an amazing day and I'd be there with nothing, occasionally some would give me something little but I hated it, i just got in the way of their day, i absolutely hated it. the only good thing about those holidays was getting back to school and seeing my annual Christmas card from you. I've kept each and everyone of them, I used rocking to them knowing they were from you, but then my friends would come back and tell me about what they got and I'd get really jealous, I know everything's changed this year but the thought of Christmas holds so many bad memories I just can't seem to join in with all the fun'

Rachel hasn't thought about her daughters other Christmases and felt incredibly guilty, she had always thought a card was enough. When she wrote the card each year it was always bottom of the pile, as she never knew what to put, and she never put an address as she didn't want to bother with a reply from her daughter. Rachel's gut was full of guilt, she knew she couldn't bring back the last sixteen years but she was determined to make this Christmas perfect for Alicia

'Oh lovely girl, you are right this year's Christmas will be different, I'm going to show you how to have a proper Mason Christmas, and starting this year your memories of Christmas will be completely different I promise'

'Haha thanks mum don't get wrong I am happy, and I can't wait to spend Christmas with you I just think it's going to be weird doing Christmassy things for the first time'

'Right stay here, I'll go and lock up and then we'll go into town and get some decorations for home''

'Sounds good mum' Alicia smiled

Rachel squeeze her daughters hand and then go up

'Oh mum, please let us forget the detention, turn a blind eye... And it means you won't have to stay late at school on Monday' Alicia said trying to persuade her mum

'Nope, there's not one rule for the headmistress's daughter and one for the other students, and hey I'm sure I'll find some paperwork to do'

'But mum no one has to know..'

'Alicia I'm not backing down, I'll be 5 mins watch my bag'

Rachel turned away and Alicia rolled her eyes

'Don't roll you eyes'

That day the two spent buying all the decorations and Rachel brought a Christmas cd to play in the car and house, although Alicia kept putting the volume up far too much for her liking

Alicia had her detention as planned, her mother had given her lines to write 'I must not smoke in school grounds and I should give up as it's bad for me and my mum does not like it' Rachel thought she'd been funny, however her daughter was not amused after her hand felt like it had been broken.

Three weeks later

It was Christmas Eve in the Mason household, Alicia had gotten into the festive spirit and the only upset had been them receiving a Christmas crd from Adam, however this was quickly discarded into the bin.

'Alicia come downstairs' Rachel called to her daughter

'Coming!'

Alicia walked into the lounge

'Right this is how we do Christmas Eve mason style, sit down and wait there'

Alicia laughed 'mum do you know how unfunny that is'

Rachel poked her tongue out at her daughter and disappeared into the kitchen, she quickly came back with a plate of mince pies and some mulled wine

'Ok I'm going to put the fire on, we have a blanket to put over ourselves on the sofa, help yourself to these and we're going to watch a film called The Snowman and then rubbish Christmas tv shows'

'Sounds lush, but isn't The Snowman just a cartoon, my friend Jessie said it was shit'

'Language! And your friend jessie was obviously lying it's perfect'

They evening went perfectly and at about 10 Alicia had fallen asleep, the lights on the Christmas tree in the background had given her a sense of peace and the mulled wine had probably contributed to her tired state.

Rachel put the rest of the blanket over her daughter, cleared up the lounge and then went upstairs to put on her pyjamas. Alicia's door was open, so out of curiosity she decided to go in. Lead on the bed was a large brown paper envelope and some cello tape. Rachel had always been known as nosy and this wasn't about to change. She gently took the contents from the envelopes

'Oh my...' Rachel said under her breath

Inside were all the Christmas and birthday cards she had sent her daughter, organised into categories. Rachel read them and realised how heartbreaking it must have been for the girl to be excited about these. They were so simple

'Alicia, merry Christmas. Mum'

'Alicia, happy birthday. Mum'

After reading them all she had worked out the categories, they were sorted on whether she had put a simple 'x' at the end or if there was an extra line of speech 'and happy new year'. Some of the cards ha obviously been torn up an Rachel had guessed that Alicia had spent the early evening sticking them back together. The most awful moment was when on one card Rachel saw her daughter had scribbled out the 'happy' in 'happy new year'

There were other bits of paper in the envelope, Rachel started to read them. They were the replies Alicia would have written if she had even given an address, Rachel felt tears in her eyes as she read moments of Alicia's childhood she had optionally ignored, for example when Alicia was 11 she had written
'this year I went to secondary school, it's scary here, you work in a big school does it become less frightening. Parents evening is next term, I hope you come it 'd be great to see you'

Rachel saw the different handwriting from the messy scrawl of an 8 year old that read 'I'm a process and you're the beautiful queen, please come pick me up' to the neat handwriting of a 15 year old that read 'I got an A in my science gcse first module, I'm so happy wish you were there at results day with all the other parents'

Tears were streaming down Rachel's face, partly due to self loathing ad partly due to the immense love she felt for her daughter

And the one thing that really tugged at her heart, was that after everything, each one of Alicia's replies ended with 'love you mummy, can't wait to see you, have a lovely year xxxxxx'

Rachel took the letters from the room and knew she had now had one more gift for Alicia for tomorrow, even if it took her all night to finish, Rachel had to do this.

She quickly woke Alicia and sent her to bed, and then started work on the present. Alicia was definitely going to have the perfect Christmas, and maybe a few gaps that were missing from her childhood fulfilled

So this isn't the interesting chapter, because that happens on Christmas Day. But I thought I had to write the story into Christmas first. So sty tuned for an update tomorrow

Please review - they always make my day xxxxx