Chapter 4 w/brief Author's Note:

Hello. Thank you for the feedback thus far. I have honestly no idea what I'm doing and not used to this platform so mistakes might be common, which annoys me to know end. Hopefully as I get into this more, I'll figure it out. Speaking of which: I really don't know the path that this will take me on. I have short-term ideas, like it'll still be a little bit before we even meet Jesse. Also, not sure how much I'll weave in major plot points. Like I said in last chapter, in my story Donna wasn't killed by Tig on Clay's order. I plan to keep Opie around, but, no, no love triangle there. I could go on. I ask that you bear with me. I've read hundreds of stories but never written a single one, so I'm a fish outta water. That being said, *constructive feedback* is most welcome. Okay, I'm done now.

Chapter 4: Jax POV

So, here we are. Tig and I riding side by side to my Mom's. Abel is still in the hospital and I know Mom is at the house. My only hope is that Clay isn't. He wasn't at the club, but, he can be a sketchy mother fucker when he wants to be.. If he's there, this'll just be that much worse. Tig is still amped up to get the hell outta here and I can tell he's not totally on board with having Opie coming along. He's a possessive bastard that one. I try not to go down this path, but, I do wonder from time to time how much he had to do with her leaving. I think it was really the life of all of us. It pulls you in and you're done for. I zone out on all this while cruising down the familiar rode to my Mom's. Good. I don't see Clay's bike but Opie's is there. Well, this could either make things easier or more awkward. Opie has this way of chilling everyone out. It's like he's a human bag of weed for fuck's sake. Tig, of course, doesn't really think of him that way, only because this is about Jesse. He's such a whack job. I'm a great friend, I know. Even over the sound of our engines I hear Tig grunt when he sees Opie's bike.

We pull in the driveway and park and the second he shuts of his ride he says, "What the fuck man? I don't want to talk to them about this at the same god damn time. I can't even get the words out myself for Christ's sake."

I look at him like he's a moron and say "God your dick must have all your blood flow right now. She's my mom and he's my best friend. Who the fuck do you think is gonna do the talkin? And when the hell do we ever let you talk about stuff first anyway? As much as it skeeves me out, go jerk off first so your brain can work again." I know I'm poking the bear, but he's acting like a little bitch.

He looks at me and he's clearly pissed. I glare back at him telling him to calm the fuck down. I know this ain't easy for him. I don't know how I'd react if a girl I was so in love with just up and left and then I find out I have a kid with her. But, just like all of his asshats, at this point, I don't fuckin' care. I wanna tell my mom and Opie, get them to agree to come with us, and fuckin' figure out how to get to Jersey. Drive or fly. Hah. Us near Airport security agents. Bad fuckin' idea. "Take a breath, man, for real, my mom is probably gonna not react to this well and she's the one that matters most right now. It's her fucking daughter. Got it?"

He just sighs and nods his head. Good enough. We walk up the path to the house and for some reason I think I should knock. It's like a formal visit or some shit. But, Opie's in there and It's my mom so fuck it, and I walk in with Tig behind me.

"Mom?" I yell

"Jax? Baby? Everythin' ok? Is Abel ok?" The Mom in her comes out in force when I'm around. It's nice but in this moment, weird.

I see Opie come around the kitchen corner and he nods. Looks like he's not in the best shape. But, that weird new optimistic voice in me says "I think this news will help him." Yea, future social worker right here, folks.

I realize I hadn't said anything and also realized that my face gave me away so there was no way to sugar coat this one. I wasn't going to be quite as direct as Half-Sack was with Tig, but ripping the band-aid off makes the most sense.

I took a deep breath and said "We found Jess."

She froze. Like literally froze to the point I thought she was havin' some sort of heart issue. The asshole in me remembered after the fact that my fuckin' mother has heart problems. Good one, Jax. Opie, bein' Opie just kinda stood there letting it all play out and Tig just had his head down. I couldn't really figure that out but my attention was on my Mom.

Then I noticed. Tears. Pooling in her eyes and streaming down her face. My mom doesn't cry. Ever. I guess not all that surprisingly the last time I remember her crying is when Jess left. She's her only daughter after all.

She took a minute and said, "What do you mean found? Where is she? Is she alive? Shit. Just. Shit. What the fuck happened?" I could tell she was getting more worked up and I know that Tig feeds off of highly emotional situations so I had to just keep as calm as possible. Opie, bless him, put hand on her back and rubbed it calmly.

"Yeah, she seems okay. I saw a video of her. Half Sack randomly came across it on his iPad whatever thing. He showed it to me and it was her out with a bunch of friends." Wrong thing to say , apparently.

Her demeanor changed. "She's fine? She's fucking fine? I haven't slept a full night in 8 years because of her and she's out partying and capturing it on fuckin' candid camera!" She pulls out a cigarette and lights it hastily.

Outta nowhere, Tig says, quietly, and if possibly, humbly "She's beautiful Gemma." I knew what he wanted to say but couldn't bring himself to say it. He saw her just like I did. She's happy. Still those doubts are lingering if this is all worth it. But, too far into it now.

Like clockwork she says "Where is she?"

"Jersey" we said at the same time. Opie looked at us probably wondering how the hell we figured that one out. We all know Tig has done everything he can, like to crazy ass limits, to find her but I just say to Opie "Half-Sack helped."

Opie smirked and said "At least he's good for something."

My mom's just standin' there huffin' "Well, what the fuck are we gonna do about it, huh? Just sit on our asses or go find her and get some answers?"

"That's why we're here, Ma. We want you, and actually you too, Opie, to come with us" I say to both of them. I feel Tig clench and I just look at him again and he sulks like a fuckin' 5 year old. His kid is probably so much more mature than him. Shit. The kid. I gotta tell mom. I know if I don't, TIg will in some stupid way.

"Ma, there's one more thing…." I look at her.

She looks at me and says "God, what the fuck other kinda bombshell can you drop on me besides the fact that my fucking daughter is alive and well?"

Wrong question. Tig, being TIg says "We found out that she has an 8 year-old kid. A son. Ian. He's mine."

The way he says it hits me. However completely certifiable the guy might be, he seems to be accepting fatherhood pretty quickly.

Just like when she sees Abel, she says "I gotta another grandkid? Another grandson! How do you know? You got pictures?" Typical Gemma.

"No no no, Ma. It's all from the video. She was singing" I pause when I notice her really smile for the first time in that being proud of their kid kinda way "And we heard her friends ask about her kid and one of them asked how old he is and the shit just went from there."

"Ian" she says, softly. I glance at Tig and see his eyes glistening. Man. Being a parent really does fuckin' change you.

"Ok.. ok… who else knows besides you guys and Half Sack?" she asks.

"Happy." We say. I'm not worried about her reaction. She knows he's a real useful guy but I explain all the same "When we realized that she's across the God Damn country we had to think about how to get out there without raisin' 9 kinds of hell so we called him to see if he had contacts. MC's out there are a lot bigger so we gotta be fuckin' safe."

She got serious right away and said "What did he say?"

"We gotta just be real low key" I take a minute and glare at Tig because the fuckin' wild card is the one that just makes shit suck so much of the time. The funny thing is, is that him and Jess together were just two volatile substances and you never knew what was gonna happen. "We're gonna ride in the truck and just wear civs. Happy and Half Sack are tryin' to find like where her actual house or whatever is because all we know is she works in New York and lives in some town called Morristown."

She looks satisfied by that and then hesitates, "Who else knows?" I know what she's asking. Does Clay know? Clay and Jess had a really fucked up time of it and him knowing about her and where she's at is worse than Tig knowin. But, he's the President. Three SAMCRO's and the President's Old Lady can't just fuckin' take off across the country without tellin' Clay. Fuck. I see everyone else's expression, except Tig seems rebellious which is really wacked because most of the time, even though he doesn't wanna be, he's basically Clay's bitch. But, this is different… for all of us….

Opie steps up and says "We gotta tell him but keep it basic. Like instead of 'We found Jess', we say 'we think we found Jess' and us all goin' might be worth our while because Happy's helping us get in touch with the right people… " He hesitates and then says "Man, fuck, I dunna know. This is just crazy. I mean. Jess is alive and fine from what it sounds like and you're a fuckin' Dad" he says, as he looks at Tig. "I don't know if I'm scared or excited. Shit. Fucked up."

We all nod in agreement. I hear the sound of Clay's bike, and Bobby's, I think, gettin' closer and knew there was one more hurdle til we could actually do what we never imagined doing 12 hours ago.