Okay Notes:
This story follows last week episode, I have not seen tonight's episode yet as it doesn't air for another 5 hours yet. This is not prediction it is an A/U story and I am using bits from the promo in it that is all.
This was going to be a one shot but I decided to make it a two shot, maybe a bit longer.
This is dedicated to Degrassieclare23
Ch.1 Right Side of Wrong
(CLARE)
"Eli you got high at some strange party on something some strange girl gave to you! How could you be so stupid to take drugs at all but especially when they could mess with your meds Eli!?" I snap at him.
"Stupid? I felt fucking amazing Clare! How can you not understand that?" He barks back at me.
"Eli you're damaging yourself! You're damaging this relationship!" I seethe.
"I'M NOT WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS RELATIONSHIP YOU ARE!" Eli yells.
I look at him incensed and outraged and walk away, I'm too angry to talk to him. Too angry to even look at him and I just keep walking, past the school, past the football field and into the woods at the edge of the school. I'm so upset and crying I barely see where I'm going, I slip and my sweater catches on a broken tree branch, ripping a big hole in it so I take it off and just leave it on the ground.
I know Eli is having a hard time but even before Cam's death he was smoking pot and making dumb decisions. I love Eli but this all feels so familiar, his meds are supposed to help him, he's supposed to be better but he's taking illegal drugs and I'm worried he's either going to overdose or stop taking his meds and just turn to drugs because he says they make him feel good. I can't stay with him if he's going to turn to drugs to feel good and if he's going to keep doing this.
I sit down on the ground, lean against a tree and bring my knees to my chest to cry. When I hear voices approaching I stop crying and wipe away my tears, taking a deep breath to hold back any further tears. The voices get closer and one of them sounds vaguely familiar. I look up to see a small group of teenagers approaching, most of them I've never seen before and I know they don't go to DeGrassi but one of them I do know and I haven't seen him since grade nine.
"Reese?" I question standing up.
The group stops and they all look over at me, it's definitely Reese and he hasn't changed at all. I have changed since he last saw me and it takes a minute for it to register with him. I see his face change with recognition and then he smiles and comes over to me.
"Clare? You look great but sad, what jerk put tears in those beautiful eyes of yours?" He inquires brushing his thumbs below my eyes.
"It's not important, what are doing here shouldn't you be in school?" I ask.
"We always walk down here at lunch to drink beers you want some?" He asks holding his beer bottle out to me.
"I better not; the last time I drank a beer I got pretty tipsy." I tell him thinking back to me and Dallas in the prop room.
"You look cold here," he says taking off his jacket when I shiver in a breeze, "take my jacket it's warm." He insists puts it on my shoulders and I pull it tight around me.
"Thanks." I smile.
"Sure, so you going to tell me who made you cry now?" Reese asks as he puts his arm around my back and we walk back to his friends.
The group starts walking again and we go down by the creek that runs behind the ravine. They must have been coming here a while because there's places to sit and a fire pit and everything. Reese and I sit down on a log and he keeps his arm around me and although I know I should tell him to take it away because I'm with Eli I don't, I find his embrace comforting. For some reason I find myself telling Reese and this group of kids I don't know everything, starting with the first time Eli smoked pot and ending with our fight just a short while ago.
"What and idiot, I mean I smoke pot all the time but I don't have prescription meds." Says one girl.
"I can't believe he would choose drugs over you." Reese says in a sweet voice and looks at me with a look that makes me want to melt.
I want to kiss him and I realize it's time to go, I'm sure lunch will be over soon if not already, I sort of lost track of time.
"I have to get back to class." I say standing up and taking off his jacket.
"No keep it on, don't want you getting cold. We should head back too; we'll walk you to the school property line." He tells me standing up and putting the jacket around my shoulders again.
He puts his arm around me once more and they walk me to the tree line, we come out near the bleachers for the football field.
"Thanks Reese, you want your jacket back?" I ask.
"No you keep it," he says tightening it around my shoulders then he kisses my cheek softly. "Meet us tomorrow for lunch, here." He insists.
"I don't think I should, I'm still dating Eli." I reply.
"To give me my jacket back." He says.
"Okay but just to give you back the jacket. See you tomorrow." I tell him and then start walking back to the school.
(ADAM)
Lunch was almost over and Becky and I were supposed to be eating with my two best friends but I hadn't seen either of them all through lunch and given Eli's recent behavior I was a little worried. After walking Becky to her locker I went on a search but the first people I found was Dallas and Alli.
"Hey have you guys seen Eli and Clare?" I ask.
"Not since before lunch, she was going to talk to him on their free period." Alli tells me.
"About the party and the drugs I'm guessing." I state and Alli nods. "I hope she gets through to him." I remark.
"Eli takes drugs?" Dallas questions.
"I'll fill you in later; right now I want to find Eli and Clare. We were supposed to meet for lunch and neither of them showed." I tell them.
"We'll help you look before classes start again." Dallas says and they turn down the hall.
I continue on toward their locker and Clare is there getting books out. Wearing a denim jacket that is obviously a guys and I know is not Eli's and I'm not the only one that notices as Dave and Connor walk up and look at the jacket the same way I am.
"That doesn't look like something Eli would wear." Connor remarks.
"It's not Eli's." She replies lightly closing the locker and turning down the hall and we all follow her.
"Then whose is it and where's your sweater?" I inquire.
"My sweater ripped on a tree, it's probably still near the ravine somewhere and Reese gave me his jacket to keep me warm." She says.
I look at Dave and we're both furrowing our brow so he doesn't have any idea who Reese is either, apparently Connor does though because he stops walking and grabs her arm to turn her to him.
"Reese!? How could you wear Reese's jacket?! When did you even see Reese? He doesn't go to this school anymore!" Connor exclaims.
"Connor calm down, I saw Reese at lunch after Eli and I had a bad fight. My sweater ripped and he gave me his jacket to keep me warm. I have to get to class; I'll see you guys later." She says and walks away.
"Okay who is Reese?" I ask Connor as we start walking to our own class.
"He went to school here for a while when we were in grade nine. He liked Clare, didn't get along with K.C. and was bad. Like Fitz but less bullying and more drinking and hanging out in the ravine. After a few months he transferred schools and I haven't seen him since." Connor tells us.
I have a million questions, like why she spent her lunch with this Reese and where Eli is but the bell rings so they'll have to wait.
(CLARE)
"Yeah because I'm sure Eli will understand that you're wearing another guy's jacket. It doesn't matter that Eli has no idea who Reese is." Alli comments as we leave class.
"He gave me the jacket to keep me warm Alli. Besides after that fight Eli can't blame me for running off upset." I reply as we walk to the girl's locker room to get ready for gym class. When we near the locker room we can hear one of the showers going, we enter the locker room with a few other girls to find Eli in the shower and completely nude! "Eli! What are you doing?!" I demand in a shocked voice.
Eli turns around and all the girls gasp, me included and I avert my eyes.
"That is more Eli than I ever wanted to see." Alli says.
"Eli what's…oh my god are you high again?" I demand looking at him in the eye.
"I'm invincible Clare, I feel like freaking Superman!" Eli hollers and then goes running out of the locker room.
I follow him and Alli follows me as we chase him through the school.
"Eli stop! You need to put some clothes on and go see the nurse!" I insist but he ignores me, I grab his arm and turn him to me. "You have to stop getting high Eli, please Eli. What if something happens to you?" I plead.
"You just don't like that this makes me feel better and alive, something you never could." Eli responds ripping his arm away from me.
"Real nice Eli, if you weren't already high as a kite I would hurt you!" Alli snaps at him.
"I don't know what's gotten into him Alli; I can't be with him if he's like this." I lament to my best girlfriend.
"Then don't Clare, he's making bad decisions and he's going to bring you down with him." She tells me, putting an arm around my shoulders.
I look back to find Eli still running down the hall and then Mr. Simpson appears.
"Eli!" Simpson exclaims.
"Mr. Simpson." Eli smiles and then hugs our principal.
"Eli, please come with me." Mr. Simpson says taking off his suit jacket and covering Eli with it. "Let's go call your dad. Clare could you find his clothes?" Simpson asks.
"Yeah sure." I nod, turning as Simpson puts his hand on Eli's shoulders and guides him to his office.
Alli and I return to the girl's locker room and grab Eli's clothes and shoes, taking them to Simpson's office. Eli is looking very closely at the pictures on Simpson's desk. He sees us come in, turns and comes over to me, I hold out his clothes to him but he tries to kiss me and I turn my head.
"Fine I don't love you either!" Eli snaps and turns around becoming very amused by the picture of Simpson, his wife and their friends when they were in high school.
"He's high Clare; he doesn't know what he's saying." Alli says putting Eli's shoes down on a chair.
"Eli is being suspended for a week. You girls should get to class." Simpson says.
I set down the rest of Eli's clothes and shoes and leave with Alli but we don't go to class we go to the memorial garden instead.
"Clare I just heard, are you okay? Where's Eli?" Adam inquires coming into the garden.
"Eli's been suspended," I say pointing to Bullfrog coming in the school.
"I love him but I can't do this. I asked him to stop smoking pot and he told me he would but instead he's taking harder drugs. Drugs given to him by some girl he doesn't even know. He always does this; he always takes things to the extreme. I love him so much but I can't always be worried that something's going to trigger him and he's going to go off the deep end. I can't live in fear that he's going to hurt himself or someone else." I bemoan to my two best friends.
"Then don't. There's no law that says you have to be with Eli Clare. I know he loves you too but you're right living like that isn't fair to you." Adam says as we see Bullfrog taking Eli out and Eli is still high.
"It's your decision Clare and you know we're here for you no matter what." Alli tells me.
"You and Eli are my best friends, I like it better when you're together but I'll love you both either way and I'm worried about him too. So you want me to walk you girls to class?" Adam offers.
"I don't want to go to gym, I need time to think, I'm going to the Dot." I tell my friends and walk to the school entrance.
I sit at the Dot, sipping at my coffee for an hour and thinking about me and Eli. I have to listen to my heart, my heart still loves Eli and maybe it always will but I can't do this. I can't just break up with him either though; we've been through too much for that. I have to talk to him, give him another chance. I leave the Dot, stopping at my house first to leave Reese's jacket and I grab my denim one and my bike to ride to Eli's. I knock on the Goldsworthy's front door and Bullfrog answers.
"I know he's in trouble but can I speak with him for a minute?" I request.
"Sure Clare, he's in his room but he's still high so be careful." Bullfrog tells me.
He steps aside so I can go in and I go up to Eli's room and knock on the door. There's no answer but there is very loud music so I open the door and go in.
"Isn't this the best song?" Eli says when he sees me; he's jumping around on his bed and kind of dancing.
"Eli I don't have long and we need to talk." I tell him turning down the music.
"We need to dance." Eli insist coming to me and taking my wrists as he sways back and forth but not to the beat of the music.
"Eli stop this is serious. I love you but I can't be with you if you're like this. I can't watch you destroy yourself on drugs. Eli you have to choose, me or the drugs." I give him an ultimatum.
"Why should I choose, if you could feel what I feel you'd understand. Take them with me Clare, it's amazing!" Eli says pulling a small white paper from his pocket.
"You're not serious?" I question in disbelief.
"Clare it's awesome, like you're flying. Everything is so much clearer; I hear and see things I never did before." He tells me.
"Because the drugs are screwing with your brain Eli. What about your meds? This is dangerous Eli, you could overdose, I don't want to watch you die!" I plead with him.
"I can't die Clare I'm invincible, why can't you get that? Talia get's it." He says.
"Goodbye Eli." I reply and walk out of his room and down the stairs. "He still has drugs in his room." I tell Bullfrog as I leave the house.
I walk home in tears and spend all evening on the phone with Adam and Alli. I do feel better after talking with them but it still hurts. I did sort of break up with Eli but I need to really do it and face to face. Still the thought of breaking up with him, losing him hurts me. Tomorrow is Tuesday and I figure I'll give him the day to come down and I'll go talk to him after school when he should be, hopefully thinking straight again.
The next morning Jake is very silent on the drive to school, I think he feels guilty about giving Eli pot in the first place. He does keep eyeing the denim jacket I have draped over my shoulders but he never asks me who it belongs to. He parks and we start walking in when I hear a whistle from the bleachers by the football field. I look over to see Reese leaning under the bleachers; I smile and walk over to him.
"Hey do you want your jacket back?" I ask.
"Nah it looks better on you, you keep it." Reese says tightening the jacket around my shoulders. "I came to see how you were after yesterday." Reese tells me.
I bite my lip and look down. "He got high again and went streaking through the school. I asked him to stop, begged him. I told him I was worried that he could overdose but he didn't care. Of course he was high again so I'm going to go talk to him again after school when he hopefully won't be high and can talk rationally. If he still wants to get high then I'm going to break up with him." I confess.
"You deserve better than him." Reese says grazing the back of his fingers over my cheek lightly.
The touch makes me quiver and I bite my lip again instinctually.
"Clare!" I hear Adam calling me.
I turn around to see the Torres brothers and Dallas watching me from the front steps. I turn back to Reese and see him eyeing them curiously.
"You should probably go; you have to get to school." I tell Reese.
"Is one of them Eli?" Reese inquires.
"No, one of them is my best friend; the other two are…just friends." I shrug really not sure how to classify Dallas or Drew.
"You gonna meet us for lunch?" He asks.
"I'm still with Eli." I tell him.
"Just lunch Clare, I'm not asking you out." He says. "We'll meet you right there at noon." Reese says pointing to the tree line across the field, then he kisses my cheek softly and walks off.
I smile and turn walking to the front steps and Adam, Drew and Dallas. "Morning." I say as I pass them and they follow me in.
"Who was that?" Adam questions.
"Reese." I inform him.
Adam catches my hand and stops me from walking, turning me to face him. "That was Reese? What are you doing with him again? Connor said he's a bad guy." Adam tells me.
"Adam you don't even know him! He pestered Connor back in grade nine it's been two years I'm sure he's changed. He came to check on me after yesterday." I inform him.
"What about Eli?" Adam questions.
"I don't know Adam! You know what happened last night. I'm going to talk to him after school but I just don't know Adam. I'm not dating Reese; he came to see how I was." I tell him, and Drew and Dallas since they're listening in.
"You're still wearing his jacket." Adam points out.
"I wore it to give it back to him today he told me to keep it." I say.
"Clare…" Adam begins but I cut him off.
"Adam I need to get my books." I insist and start walking away but they follow me again.
"So Eli starts getting high and you cheat on him?" Adam accuses.
I stop and turn to Adam with a glower and my hand on my hip. "Adam I'm not cheating! I had lunch with him yesterday; he gave me his jacket because I was cold. He's being nice but we haven't done anything that constitutes cheating." I argue.
"He kissed you, we saw him." Adam remarks.
"On the cheek Adam, I kiss you and my other friends on the cheek all the time. It was a tiny peck on the cheek it meant nothing." I tell him.
"I've never seen you kiss anyone on the cheek." Drew comments.
"Why are you two even here?" I question the older boys.
"Morbid curiosity," Drew says.
"Concern." Says Dallas.
"Can I go get books from my, I mean Eli's locker now?" I request, kissing Adam on the cheek to prove to them that I do such a thing before walking down the hall.
"That doesn't count." Dallas yells after me.
I sigh and walk to Eli's locker to get my books. Throughout the morning most of my other friends comment about Reese's jacket, most of the people I know make some remark about it. Alli and Connor are the only ones to go semi-ballistic having any clue who Reese is. Actually Alli didn't care as much as the others, she just told me to be careful and figure out what I want. Connor on the hand almost lost it, worse than Adam did when I told him I was going to Vegas night with Fitz!
At lunch I left class as soon as the bell rang and go out the back of the school to the edge of the football field where I'm meeting Reese and his friends. I'm slightly conflicted about this, it's not cheating, I'm not dating Reese just meeting him for lunch with some of his friends. Still I feel a little guilty, Eli and I are still together but I can't deny I have feelings for Reese now. As I'm internally conflicted about this and starting to think I should turn around and go back into the school and not meet Reese until after I speak with Eli an arm comes around my shoulders and I look into Reese's soft brown eyes.
"Feeling any better?" He asks as we start walking through the woods.
"Not really. I'm still dating Eli, I still love him. I can't just leave him after all we've been through without talking to him again. He deserves that much at least." I confess.
Reese smiles from one corner of his mouth and brushes his thumb under my chin. "We're just having lunch Clare, I'm not asking you to go steady." He says.
"I know," I smile, "I just want to be clear."
I eat lunch while they eat and drink some beers, they talk and I listen while Reese sits with his arm around me and again I find it comforting. Again I feel conflicted, I shouldn't be finding comfort in another guys arms right? Not like this, this doesn't feel like Adam comforting me or Jake after we became siblings.
"We have to start heading back." One of the boys named Harrison says.
It feels like we just got here and I realize how fast time flew by. Reese stands up and helps me up, we start walking back and they escort me as far as the school property line.
"So you'll meet us tomorrow right?" Reese asks.
"I…I have to talk to Eli this afternoon." I reply.
"It's just lunch Clare." He smiles.
"I guess so. I should go." I respond.
Before I can turn to leave he cups my chin and gives me a very gentle kiss. It only lasts a couple of seconds but it's so sweet and I close my eyes melting into it. He releases my chin and I turn and walk quickly to the school where I see Drew and Dallas leaning on the wall and giving me an interesting look.
"That was most definitely a kiss." Dallas remarks as I get closer to them.
"Don't you dare throw stones Dallas; you kissed me after getting me drunk and after me telling you about Asher and you knew I was with Eli!" I remind him in a slightly harsher voice than intended.
"Dude!" Drew scolds hitting Dallas lightly. "Did you really kiss her while she was…wait who's Asher?" Drew asks.
"You can't say anything either Drew, you cheated on Alli and Katie and Bianca! It was a very quick small kiss and I will tell Eli about it when I go talk to him." I inform them in an exasperated voice and walk quickly into school.
I make it through the rest of the day but I'm still conflicted. Adam heard about the kiss from Drew or Dallas and he isn't happy about it but he doesn't say much just to be careful and makes sure that I'm going to tell Eli about the kiss. Alli, who heard about the kiss from Dallas is more interested in how the kiss was. When school lets out Jake drops me off at Eli's.
"You want me to wait around?" Jake asks.
"No I'll be fine Bullfrog's home." I tell him as I get out of the car. I wave to Jake as I ring the bell. Bullfrog opens the door and lets me in and I go up to Eli's room, the door is open partially but I still knock as I go in. "Hey how are you feeling?" I ask as I enter the room.
"My head is killing me, I want more but you and Adam are the only visitors allowed. Dad's making me drink this gross juice stuff; he says it'll detox my system." Eli tells me from the spot on his bed.
He's watching TV and I turn it off and sit on the end of the bed. "Eli we need to talk. I love you and I don't want to lose you but I can't do this." I tell him.
"Do what? You said you were all in." He reminds me.
"Not to watch you throw your life away Eli! Not to watch you destroy yourself with drugs. Are the drugs more important than me? Would you rather be with Talia so you guys can get high and wither away together?" I question, feeling my chest tighten at the thought and tears at the corner of my eyes.
"No! I mean I love you but I don't know." Eli says.
I feel rush of hurt go through me at his words and yet a feeling of almost relief. "I was kissed today Eli, by another boy. It was a quick peck but I liked it." I admit to him.
He looks at me and I can see the pain in his eyes. "Who?"
"It doesn't matter, you don't know him." I reply.
"So what now? Are we breaking up?" He asks.
"I don't know I don't really want to but I…I can't do this Eli and you don't seem to know what you want. I can't live like this Eli, me or the drugs should be an easy choice but it's not for some reason." I tell him.
"So go then, we're done, go to this guy that you kissed that made you want to break up with me!" Eli states.
"Eli that's not…" I start argue but he cuts me off.
"I SAID GO CLARE WE'RE BROKEN UP YOU'RE FREE!" He screams loudly a few inches from my face.
I grab my purse and run for the front door nearly bumping into Bullfrog on my way out. I run out of Eli's house and down the street with tears rolling down my cheeks. The sudden and loud sound of a car horn makes me jump; I turn to look at an old GTO with peeling red paint. It's Reese and his friends, Harrison is driving and the two girls are in the front with him while Reese and the other guy are in the back.
"You want a ride?" Reese asks.
"No it's not that far." I tell him wiping the tears from my eyes.
"Come on Clare get in, you look sad come tell us what happened. I'll treat you to an ice cream sundae." Reese tells me.
You know that feeling you have just before you do something that you know you shouldn't but it's something you really want to do? That feeling is bubbling inside me so strongly I think I might explode. Before I can over think it I get into the car.
I will try and get the update up sometime this week.