As Dark as Night

"Aaaaleeec," his name sounded like the call of a mermaid reaching towards him from the dark depths of the unknown. "Aaleec," he heard the voice again a second later, nearer this time, and his name was no longer a call in a mermaid's lips but long tentacles reaching and coiling around his ankles. He thrashed around in a panic, kicking his feet and flapping his arms, struggling to pull himself up, his lungs screaming for oxygen, his eyes blind in the greenish blackness, his mind confused. With all the strength left in him, Alec resisted the urge to open his mouth and inhale, certain that if he did, the water would finally claim him. "Alec," the voice called a third time, and his name was now a rock that pulled him down and down towards the bottom. Almost at the same time, he felt a pair of hands grabbing him by the shoulders, shaking him gently at first and then more forcefully. "Alec!" the voice called one last time and he finally lost the battle and opened his mouth in surrender, certain that his lungs would fill with water. But they didn't. Instead, he gasped like a newborn taking his very first breath, and his lungs filled with oxygen before a fit of coughing gripped him.

Startled, Alec jumped and sat up abruptly, almost hitting his head against Catarina's who was shaking him awake. He swung his feet off the sofa and coughed violently into his shaking hands, a mouthful of water rushing out from the very depth of him. He took another deep and ragged breath more thankful than he had ever been for the gift of air. He then put his face in his still shaking hands and tried to bring his rapid breathing under control and stop the shivers that run wild throughout his body. His heart beat with such speed and loudness that Alec was sure Catarina could hear it drumming in his chest.

"You are okay," Catarina reassuringly said, wrapping a blanket around his shoulders and patting him on the back. "You are back Alec."

Alec wrapped his arms around himself and was surprised when he felt that, except for a thin layer of sweat, he was dry. He looked around the room, making sure that he was, in fact, back in Magnus' apartment. His eyes stopped when they came to rest on Magnus, still sitting on the same chair by the window, his eyes still lost in the distance. Despite his condition and the shadows that surrounded him, Magnus' presence felt like a reassuring certainty, an anchor that grounded Alec to this reality. 'I must get you out of that place Magnus,' he thought. 'I cannot leave you there.'

"How long was I under?" Alec asked out loud, making every possible effort to settle his nerves and control the shaking of his hands. He didn't remember the last time he had experienced such fear or anxiety and the adrenaline running through his system made every cell in his body scream at him to fight or run.

"No more than fifteen minutes," replied Tessa from the armchair next to him, and Alec realized that it was her voice the one he had heard calling him back to the here and now. He shifted his gaze from Magnus to her and saw the exhaustion plainly written on her face. Tessa run a trembling hand along her brow drying an invisible sheen of sweat and, taking a deep and relieved breath, leaned her head back against the armchair. Alec recognized the symptoms, he had seen them in Magnus several times when he had done too much magic and his powers were depleted. Tessa had used considerable energy trying either to keep Alec under or to bring him back. Alec was not certain which and, frankly, was afraid to ask.

"Take a minute to catch your breath," Catarina instructed and walked towards the kitchen in search of drinks.

Tessa closed her eyes and with her thumb and index finger squeezed the bridge of her nose as if to stifle a headache. Alec hugged himself more tightly and run his hands up and down his arms, trying to warm himself and get hold of his emotions. He stood up and on still unsteady legs went to Magnus and took his hand in his, the certainty of the touch reassuring and comforting. He pushed the images from a minute ago out of his mind and replaced them with happier and more soothing memories: the sensation of Magnus' arms around him; of his body relaxing against his own; of Magnus stifling a laugh because of something Alec had unwittingly said or done; of Magnus looking down in contemplation, unaware of Alec's gaze on him, his black hair reflecting the sunlight in tones of red, ebony and blue.

"Magnus, I will get you out," he whispered, the oath solid and certain on his lips despite his apprehension.

"Are you okay Alec?" Tessa asked, opening her eyes to look at him.

"I am doing as well as you," he replied noncommittally, turning and giving her a hesitant smile. "Drink and food usually help Magnus replenish his powers. Do you want me to mix you a drink or make you something to eat?" he offered. Alec didn't know enough about magic or how warlocks master it, and what he knew he had learned from Magnus. As a result, he didn't know whether there was a standard remedy for power depletion. Magnus had told him once that he didn't actually make magic, but rather commanded it by calling on the forces of nature and willing them to obey him. The process used up energy and when the warlock used too much of it, his capacity to command nature's powers diminished and the body weakened. Once again, he wished he had overcome his hesitation to appear too curious and asked more questions.

"I have never been much of a drinker," Tessa replied. "I will be fine after I have some chocolate," she added and reached in her bag for a chocolate bar.

Catarina rejoined them and handed a glass to Alec and another to Tessa. Suddenly thirsty, Alec took a few healthy pulls of the clear liquid. His eyes instantly filled with tears and his throat caught fire. He had expected to taste water, but instead the bitter and strong taste of alcohol flooded his mouth. He struggled not to go into another coughing fit and forced himself to swallow, the liquid scorching his chest as it made its way down to his stomach.

"Are you okay?" Catarina asked patting him twice on the back. "Careful, it is soda and vodka."

"I am fine, I am fine," Alec replied, giving up the struggle against the cough. "A little warning would be great next time. There is hardly any soda in this drink," he added trying to catch his breath.

"I am sorry, the drink is a little stiff," Catarina said with an apologetic smile.

"Understatement of the year," Alec replied drying the tears with the back of his hand. He took another considerably more careful sip, the heat easing up and becoming warmth as it spread through his body.

"Do you want to tell us what happened, what you saw?" Catarina asked once Alec's coughing ceased and he settled back in the sofa. She took a confident pull of her own drink, which Alec suspected was even stronger than his own. For a second, he wondered whether she could drink Magnus under the table if the occasion called for it. "We can wait if you need to take a break. You are still a little pale," she offered looking at Alec with an expression and attention learned through centuries of caring for the sick.

"No, I am okay," Alec replied. He wished he didn't have to speak about his recent experience, but he understood that he had no choice. "We have to get Magnus out of that place," he added, renewed urgency in his voice.

"The more you tell us about what happened, the more we can help," Tessa prompted.

"It was dark and unnerving," Alec started, certain that the words were insufficient to capture the feel of the place from which he had just barely escaped. "And it felt very real and solid, you know, tangible. It wasn't like what I imagined being in someone's mind would be like."

"Hmm," exclaimed Catarina, and she and Tessa exchanged a worried look. "Perhaps your mind went to a place that is connected to a real place, or that has a stronger connection than we had originally suspected. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Go on Alec."

"At first, I thought I was hallucinating," Alec continued. "The room spun, and I saw shadows and heard voices in the room. But then, suddenly, I was no longer here, but somewhere else standing in front of a door. The door led to a long and damp corridor. At least I think it was a corridor; it was very dark, and I could not really see farther than a couple of meters."

In truth, it had been hard, at first, for Alec to ascertain the dimensions of the place. It had felt like it was both too large and too small at the same time, both empty and crowded. The air was stifling and old, as if it had been trapped there for centuries. When he looked up or towards the distance, he could not see a ceiling, bend or ending to the corridor. There were no windows or doorways, but just shadows and the smell of old trapped air. When he extended his arms in search of a wall, his fingers touched nothing. Accustomed, as he was, to venturing into dangerous places, he had stepped lightly and stealthily, and had automatically reached for his bow and quiver. But he didn't have them and when his hand went for the stele he carried in his pocket, it too came out empty. He had experienced a moment of panic when he realized that he was unarmed and had wished that Jace, Magnus or Izzy were there, for he was unaccustomed to going into battle alone and without weapons.

He had been walking for a few meters, the stone ground wet and slippery under his boots, when he heard light and fast footsteps, like the steps of a small person or perhaps a child, running a few meters ahead of him. The steps were accompanied by faint giggles, definitely a child's, their echo bouncing against the invisible walls. He trained his eyes on the source of the sounds and thought he saw a small and slim silhouette disappearing into the shadows.

"Who is there?" he whispered just loud enough, hoping not to alert anyone else but the child of his presence. He was certain the silhouette turned, and for a second thought he could see the shine of a pair of eyes, but then the silhouette turned its back on Alec again, continued running off and soon disappeared.

"You have done it now angel's son," a low and booming voice pierced the silence, its sound also echoing in the room making it impossible for Alec to determine from whence it came. "If they didn't notice the righteous stench of the angel on you before, they certainly heard you now."

"Who are you?" asked Alec hoping that by keeping whomever spoke talking he could detect their location. He mentally calculated his options for fending an attack. His hand-to-hand combat skills were very good, but they would only help him if the attack come from a close distance. Without weapons he had no chance of defending himself against an attack from afar. "Can you help me?" he added, "I am looking for someone."

"I am sure you are," the voice drawled, its origin still a mystery. "Only someone desperate enough would venture here looking for someone," the voiced added and the statement was punctuated by a mocking and malevolent tone.

Alec lifted his arms in front of him, and stood his ground in a defensive posture, turning slowly from side to side attempting to assess the situation and predict from where an attack might come. Another sound, a scuffling noise, like the sound of a thousand insects stepping on rock, their wings rubbing against each other, irrupted into the silence. Alec looked up towards the place from where he thought that latest sound originated, and thought he saw movement in what he assumed was the ceiling. It was not a clearly discernible movement, but rather a disturbance in the shape and movement of the shadows, like ripples in the black surface of a still lake.

"This is the place where things come to get lost, angel's child, not found," the voice spoke again, and this time it came from just behind Alec, as if whomever had spoken was standing right behind him whispering in his ear. The words and the feeling of proximity made the hair in Alec's arms and the back of his neck stand on end and an involuntary shiver run down his back. "And now you are lost too," the drawling voice added. "A Nephilim in hell, how delicious." A low, malevolent and sarcastic laugh followed this statement.

Alec had turned swiftly, ready to confront whomever was taunting him, but just at that moment, the scuffling noise from above intensified and quickly morphed into the flapping sound of wings taking fly. Something brushed against his cheek, close enough for Alec to feel the unnerving sensation of warm leathery wings against his skin.

"I am sure it was a demon," he now told Tessa and Catarina who had been listening to his experience without interrupting, their expressions reflecting increasing concern. "And it was not alone," he added. Alec had called on all his willpower to keep the fear that was squeezing his chest from turning into full-blown panic. He had also become even more painfully aware that he was completely unarmed and alone.

"Can I ask," Catarina tentatively said, her voice measured, "is the possibility of having to face demons alone and unarmed something you are afraid of Alec?"

"Yes," Alec replied, a hint of hesitation or perhaps embarrassment in his voice. "I think it is a fear common among the Nephilim. We are demon hunters. Yet, we are also just human. We have no powers others than those bestowed on us through runes, and we depend on each other and on the weapons handed down to us by the Angel." This was only partially true, Alec thought but didn't say. Nightmares in which he was forced to confront unknown and unseen enemies without backup or weapons had been a recurrent condition of his growing up. Even now, anxiety still gripped him when he and his team went on missions with insufficient preparation or planning. While Jace run into situations head first and many times without a plan, Alec's way of dealing with his anxiety about the unknown was to be cautious, not fearful but careful. He had also assumed the role of the protector, the one always prepared and ready to defend, the one to devise attack strategies. It was in part this combination – Jace's impulsiveness and Alec's caution – that made him and his parabatai a formidable team. And, it was Alec's attention to detail and his capacity to foresee potential risks that made him a great leader. Yet, he knew that underneath those laudable skills there was the old anxiety that populated his childhood nightmares.

"Go on," Tessa prompted, her tone reassuring and gentle despite the unease plainly written on her face. She filed away Alec's answer, hoping that at the end, she and Catarina would be able to make sense of the forces that had Magnus in their grip.

"As I said, it was dark, but I could still sense movements in the shadows and I was certain that there was more than one being in the corridor with me. Suddenly, a few meters ahead and somewhere above my head, I saw a pair of red eyes shining brightly in the darkness, a pair of red eyes, disembodied at first, intensely looking at me." As Alec's eyes adjusted to the darkness, the face that framed those sinister and malevolent eyes became discernible among the shadows, an enormous horned head covered in grey leathery skin and with a mouth full of sharp black teeth. Alec had moved slowly to one side and the face turned, its movement inhuman, following him with its unnervingly intense red eyes. For a second that felt like an eternity, he and the beast looked at one another, as if each was trying to take the measure of the other. Likely deciding that Alec was not much of a threat, the shadow detached itself from its surroundings and took fly, the flapping of its winds disturbing the relative stillness of the air, creating a breeze that blew Alec's hair. As the shadow became solid, Alec could get a first impression of the size and strength of the beast. It was enormous, its body also completely covered in grey and black leathery skin, with enormous claws and sharp talons at the end of its short legs.

"I run," he stated and, looking from Tessa to Catarina, run a shaking hand through his hair. He hoped the two warlocks would understand and ultimately forgive his inability to hold his ground. Betraying all that his training had taught him, Alec had run because he understood that there was nothing he could do to defend himself. Not only was he unarmed, but it was also evident that the red-eyed demon was not alone. For as soon as it took flight in Alec's direction, the scuffling noise above Alec's head intensified signaling that other beasts were joining it. "I was half blind, so I kept my hands extended trying to avoid crashing against a wall while I swerved from side to side to avoid the demon's talons and teeth."

"Magnus!" Alec had called as he run, no longer concerned with being silent or stealthy. "Magnus!" he called again hoping that in whatever corner of this hell Magnus was, he would hear his call and come to him. Soon, Alec's lungs were burning from the exertion and his hands were scratched from the few times he stumbled and fell on the cold stone ground or almost crashed against a wall. He could still not see a way out in the darkness, no window or doorway that could offer an escape route. He had begun to think that he would lose his race against the beasts pursuing him when, suddenly, the corridor took a sharp turn to the right and there a few meters ahead, the small figure of a child, not older than four or five, was standing by the only door he had seen since he had walked into this miserable place. Except for a round face, a face that still held some of the features that characterize babyhood, the figure was almost invisible in the dark corridor.

Alec didn't have enough time to ask any question or pay attention to any more than the pair of dark brown eyes that looked at him, eyes that shone with unusual brightness in the darkness, and that seemed to speak loudly despite the child's silence. With swift movements, he grabbed the child by the hand and with the full weight of his body pushed the door, hoping it would give and let him escape. Unfortunately, the door did exactly that; it opened swiftly and without struggle, and Alec suddenly felt that there was nothing beneath his feet, nothing but air and emptiness. He experienced a brief moment of weightlessness before he went on a free fall, his stomach trying to escape through his throat, the sensation of vertigo adding to the panic. As he plummeted down towards the unknown, he could no longer feel the child's hand in his. He didn't know how deep the abyss was. But soon, he hit cold dark water and had just enough time to take a short breath before it pulled him under.

"I was drowning when you got me out," he concluded before downing the remaining of his drink, the alcohol making his head swirl a little.

"That explains your reactions when you came to," said Catarina, "as well as your refusal to breath during the last three minutes you were unconscious. I will take a wild guess and say that you also have a fear of drowning."

"Would I have drowned if you hadn't gotten me out?" Alec apprehensively asked, the question indirectly confirming Catarina's conjecture. "Can Magnus die in this realm as a result of whatever he is going through there?" He looked towards Magnus and silently repeated the oath he had been making since Catarina first summoned him back from Idris: to put his very life on the line to save the man he loved.

"We cannot say for sure," replied Tessa, but Alec thought that her eyes betrayed more than she was willing to say. "We have to do some further research."

"I need you to send me back there right now," Alec stated, determination in his voice despite the exhaustion that made his body feel heavy and slow.

"We will send you back, but first I need at least two hours to regain my strength and for Catarina to prepare a new potion," Tessa replied. "It took a considerable amount of power for me to first keep you under and then bring you back. Also, we have slept very little in the last two days. You need some sleep and so do I and Catarina. Magnus will hold on for another two hours."

"Okay," Alec reluctantly replied and did his best to keep his impatience out of his voice. "Two hours."

"What is this last strawberry worth to you?" Alec asked with a seductive smile, holding the chocolate covered fruit between his thumb and his index finger and bringing it closer to his own lips in a taunting gesture.

"Humm, let me think," replied Magnus, a playful and coy smile lifting the corner of his lips and illuminating his unglamored eyes. "It is the first day of winter. I could portal us to Iceland to look at the northern lights. That and a kiss?"

Alec shifted his eyes from Magnus' face to his bare chest, his golden skin brilliant in the morning sun, a thin sheen of sweat adding to its golden beauty and reminding Alec of the delicious exertion of their lovemaking a few minutes ago. His eyes continued down over the crisp white sheets that covered Magnus' naked body, and the memory of that body moving against his own reawoke the butterflies in the pit of his stomach. "I have a better idea," he replied and put the fruit between his teeth and came closer to Magnus, tempting the warlock to bite.

Reading his suggestion, Magnus did as Alec proposed and when their lips finally joined, the fresh and decadent flavour of fruit and chocolate invaded both their mouths increasing the pleasure and sensuality of the kiss. Alec pulled back a minute later and seeing the craving in Magnus' eyes, bit his lower lip, the gesture one of desire and yearning.

"Don't do that," Magnus whispered.

"What?" Alec asked, imbuing false innocence into his voice.

"You know what," Magnus replied. "You know I cannot account for my actions when you bite your lower lip like that."

"You mean like this?" Alec asked and repeated the gesture.

"Yes, just like that," Magnus replied and kissed Alec again, even more hungrily, his tongue exploring, tasking, taking and giving. Alec leaned back on the pillow and Magnus leaned against him, almost the whole weight of his body on Alec's. "How do you manage it Shadowhunter?" he asked a while later, his breathing shallow, his eyes on fire, his whole body calling for Alec.

"Manage what?" Alec whispered in Magnus' ear after planting kisses up and down his long and slender neck, stopping for a moment to kiss his Adam's apple.

"To make me want you with ever increasing intensity no matter how many times we make love," Magnus replied and this time it was him the one to bite his own lower lip, the gesture having the same effect on Alec as his did on Magnus. "I don't remember the last time I went so long without sleep, and no matter how tire I feel, I still want more of you."

"I know the feeling," Alec replied, and he pulled Magnus to him, inviting him to make love once again.

Magnus chuckled softly and gently. "You are going to be the death of me, Alexander" he said, "You have stamina runes; I, on the other hand, will keel over from exhaustion."

"You are all-powerful, warlock. I am sure you can manage," Alec retorted and placing his hands on both sides of Magnus' face pulled him to him, knowing full well that any resistance on Magnus' part was futile.

Alec opened his eyes and disoriented looked around the dark room, the dream still vivid in his mind and wracking havoc with his emotions and self-control. He turned on the bed and faced the side that Magnus always occupied, his spirit sinking when he saw that it was empty and cold. He picked up Magnus' pillow, brought it to his nose and inhaled deeply, the faint scent of Magnus – fresh mountain air and something else – taking him for a split-second back to the dream.

It wasn't really a dream, but rather a memory; a memory of a morning a few weeks after they had started dating; a morning spent in each other's arms, still learning the geography of each other bodies; a morning that had been the continuation of a night of making love without restrain. When hunger had become impossible to ignore, Alec had gotten up and gone to the kitchen. He had come back with cups of coffee, toast and a plate of strawberries. Using a quick spell, Magnus had magically covered the fruits in dark velvety chocolate and they had fed them to each other, each bite sensual and full of promise.

It had been like that during those first few weeks: the two of them making love as if the world was coming to an end, as if they were drinking water after weeks of wondering the dessert, as if they could not get enough of each other. It had been weeks before either of them got more than a couple of hours of sleep and when they finally slept a full night, they had done so entangled together, their bodies fused, golden and moon white skins fading into one another, making it almost impossible to see where one ended and the other began.

Thinking of those memories now, Alec missed Magnus with even more intensity than he had when he was in Idris. Despite Magnus being just in the next room, his absence hurt anew, as if it was a fresh cut. Feeling Magnus so close and yet so far; to hear his breathing but know him to be lost in some distant place was punishment like no other.

Unable to stand the weight of the memories and the absence, Alec got up and headed for the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. When he looked at his watch, he saw that he had slept for three hours, one more than he had intended. He had a mission to complete, and there was no time for thinking about the past. He could only hope for a chance of reviving it once he got Magnus out of that horrific place.

He quickly glanced at his reflection in the mirror and couldn't help noticing the bags under his eyes. He reached for his stele and activated the last of his stamina runes and couldn't help smiling as he remembered the memory that had awoken him. "I swear Magnus," he whispered as he walked out of the room, "If you want me to, I will bear a thousand stamina runes, so I can spend centuries making love to you."

He walked back into the living room and the first thing he did was check on Magnus making sure his condition was no worse. After kissing him gently on the forehead, he went in search of his friends. Catarina was nowhere to be seen and Alec suspected she was either still resting or working on the potion. He found Tessa out in the balcony, looking at the illuminated New York skyline. The lights shone eerily behind the heavy glamor and wards that protected the apartment and kept them out of the reach of the warlocks from the Spiral Labyrinth, as if the city was visible through a thick layer of glass.

"You are awake," Tessa stated when she heard him approach.

"Yes, I thought you were going to wake me after two hours," he replied.

"You needed your rest," she said by way of explanation.

"Have you recovered?" Alec asked and the dark shadows under Tessa's eyes didn't go unnoticed to him.

"As much as can be hoped for under the circumstances," Tessa replied with a faint smile. "I will manage."

Alec thought that Tessa was the kind of person who never lied, no matter how hard a truth was. She could have said that she was fine, but instead, she chose to tell the truth and Alec respected her for that. "Are you ready for another attempt?" he asked.

"Are you?" she replied.

"I have to be ready," Alec stated with determination. "I must rescue Magnus or die in the attempt."

"You truly love him, don't you?" Tessa asked and turning to Alec brought the full weight of her eyes on him. Alec was certain that in the same way she spoke truthfully, she expected nothing less from those around her.

"The moment I met Magnus, my life changed forever," Alec said, and he looked at Tessa with unwavering certainty. "Just a look, Tessa, just a look of those eyes, even if they were glamored, and I was in love. That was all it took for me to know that, after years of stumbling around in the darkness; of uselessly searching for myself; of insecurity, shame and self-doubt, I had finally found what I was looking for: someone with whom to feel at home, someone who saw the truth in me. Magnus didn't only teach me to love, he gave me a gift I can never repay: he gave me myself. After that first encounter, there was no way back, no matter how much I tried to deny it. I knew deep down that I would love Magnus for the rest of my life, even if he didn't love me in the same way."

"Don't give up on that love," she said, her expression wistful. Alec's words echoed other similar sentiments, sentiments expressed long ago in voices of loved ones long gone but whose absence still felt like a black hole in Tessa's heart. The kind of love that Alec so unselfconsciously declared was rare and should be lived to the fullest. "And trust me," she added, "you are as good for Magnus as he is for you. You deserve being happy together."

"Despite what I did?" Alec asked.

"Alec, we all make mistakes," she stated, her voice full of conviction and wisdom. "Some of us have lived hundreds of years and we still make mistakes. Your mistake and Magnus' mistake are not big enough to warrant continuing dwelling on them. Mortal life is too short to waste in regrets. Take my word for it. Besides, while I wish it wasn't your burden alone to bear, I am certain that you are the key to getting Magnus out of this impasse."

"The potion is ready," Catarina interrupted from the door.

"Great," Tessa said and smiled at Catarina. "Ready?" she then asked turning to Alec.

"Yes," was Alec's short and definite reply.

This could still use some more work. Sorry if it is too long.