Well it's 2011 in Acme Acres, and while most of the outside world has changed, Acme Acres itself has stayed the same. Except...for the fact that the class of 1992 at Acme Looneversity has grown up and graduated. Also most of them have moved away to purse different careers. The only two that stayed in Acme Acres are Montana Max and Babs Bunny. Not much has changed for Montana, he's still as money hungry as ever.
BABS:This is 2013! Doesn't he know that if he wants to get lots of money for no hard work all you have to do now in days is make a cheap video on the Internet and people will pay you a ton of money?!
AUTHOR:Wait your turn Babs and don't interrupt me again! I'm telling this story here!
BABS: I make no promises nerd.
Anyways, Babs stayed in Acmes Acres and opened up an after school comedy program. This is where our story begins, in the summer of 2011.
"So remember everybody, first you ask them if they want the pie, then you throw it in their face." Babs said to her class.
One of the kids raised her hand.
"Yes Libby?" said Babs.
"Uh , what happens if the person says they don't want the pie?" asked the little girl named Libby.
"Ah a good question Libs. You simply widen your eyes like this" Babs eyes pop out of their sockets and spread to be twice the side of her head "and then you suck' em back in and then act like you never did it. Keep playing it cool. and then you say' Aw come on everybody loves pie. And it loves you too. So kiss it and make up. And WHAM! You remind them of just how much they love that pie!" Babs said as the class started to laugh.
Babs spun around and when she stopped was dressed like Elvis Presley. And then she said in an Elvis accent' "Thank ya, thank ya very much. I'll be here all week. I'm all shook up baby."
Shortly after she said that, the ground,the walls,and the ceiling started to shake, thereby forcing Babs,her students,and all the furniture around them to shake.
"Stay close to me kids!" said Babs. Then, a piece of the celling shook loose and fell on Babs head. As tweety birds flew around her head, Babs said' "Okay new plan. Everybody stay away from me."
The ground started to shake harder.
"What on Earth is going on up there?" asked Babs as she walked toward the ladder that lead to the hole from her burrow to the outside.
"Everybody stay close to each other while going up the ladder. Oh and if you see an opportunity to be funny, take it." said Babs.
As Babs helped the kids up the ladder, one of them stopped and looked back to see the kid below him was struggling to get up the ladder.
"Here let me lend ya a hand." said the boy.
The struggling boy reached out his hand, but when he grabbed the boy ahead of him's hand, it slipped right out of his sleeve revealing it to be a fake arm. The boy lost his balance and went falling down the ladder. Babs caught him and then looked at the boy who pulled the trick. He was laughing his head off (literally). Babs had an annoyed look on her face. She set the boy in her arms down then reached into her left ear. She struggled to pull something out of it.
"Give me a minute folks." Babs said to the readers.
Babs pulled her ear open wider then dove her body into it. When she came out she had in her possession a car jack. She set it down next to her, hopped onto it and then started cranking herself up while still keeping the same annoyed look on her face. She didn't stop until she was at the spot the boy who pulled the gag was. She handed him back his fake arm then said' "Grab your ear."
The boy put the fake arm up to his ear, and it grabbed his ear.
"Can I have that?" Babs asked the boy, who did as she asked gave her the fake arm (which still held his ear). Then she pulled as hard as she could.
"YEEEOOOOOOWWWWW!" the boy shouted at the top of his lungs.
"I said be funny, not a total goon." said Babs.
She then lowered the jack and then grabbed the kid who had been tricked. Then Babs cranked the jack back up until it was up to the top of the burrow. Babs then helped the boy get through the hole, the boy looked back and Babs smiled at him and he smiled back. Then the shaking started again. The jack started losing it's balance. Babs tried to keep her balance on the jack, but one of her feet slipped off and she was now hanging on with one foot. She looked down and saw the ground. Then she said' "Don't try this at home folks. You wont like it. I know I wont."
And then she went flying off the jack, screaming as she fell. She hit the ground with a loud THUD!. When Babs came to, she saw that most of the kids had already gotten up the ladder and out of the burrow.
"Whew." Babs exclaimed as she wiped sweat from her brow.
She hurried up the ladder and out of the hole to see a giant crane with a money symbol on the side of it.
"Oh no." said Babs in an annoyed way.
Montana Max poked his head out of the window of the crane.
"Oh no, not you again." said Montana.
"What gives Monty? What are you making this time?" asked Babs. "Wait let me guess, a giant vault for your gold coins, so you can dive into it like a swimming pool and film it for your new series,... DICK TALES! WOO! HOO!
BABS TO THE READERS:Hey we didn't say on the net we have no censors in the intro for nothing.
"For your information you misplaced fur at a fashion show, I'm building an amusement park for my son!" said Montana. "Speaking of which, where is he? I regret ever agreeing to letting him attend your little comedy club here!"
"Hey Dad!" said the boy who got tricked by Babs.
"Come here Son." said Montana as he held out his arms.
The boy then jumped into his dad's arms.
"Python what happened to your ear?" Montana asked after noticing the red spot on his son's ear.
"You know what Monty, you can have Python. He totally keeps missing the point of my class." said Babs.
"Oh yeah? Well did you ever think that maybe it's just because your a bad teacher? I mean if you're such a comedy genius, then why aren't you a certified teacher at Acme Looniversity? Or even more, why don't you own and run your own cartoon studio in Hollywood like your boyfriend?" said Montana.
Babs head turned bright red as she growled at Montana. Then she turned calm and said' "Of course you realize, this means war. Babs Bunny style!"
And with that she spun around and when she stopped was dressed like a carny.
"Come one, come all, to the best game on Earth. We're playing for big bucks here. Step right up don't be shy." Babs said.
When Montana heard the part about big bucks, he was hooked, lined, and sunk.
"I'll play! What's the game?!" said Montana.
"We're playing cards here. Yes cards. All you need, to do is watch the red card, and please do mind that i said red not black. You following me?" Babs said, all the while shuffling a deck of cards around Montana's head.
Then Babs pulled out two black cards and one red card out of the deck.
"Now all you gotta do here is watch these little cups that contain the cards. Pick the right one and you'll get the big bucks. Do ya follow?" asked Babs as she placed the cards under three cups and then started shuffling them on a stand.
Then her arms extended and she started shuffling the cups around Montana's head at warp speed. When it was done, Montana was extremely dizzy and had a hard time balancing on his feet.
"Alright there Son, pick a cup, any cup." said Babs.
Montana with dizzy eyes stuck out his right hand and picked up the cup in the middle. Babs looked down at the stand and yelled "WE HAVE A WINNER!"
Babs grabbed Montana's right hand in both of hers and shook him up and down.
"Congratulations Sir, you've been a fine player I say. Very,very fine. Now do you want those big bucks?"
Montana shook his head a few times to regain sense, then yelled "YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! GIVE ME, GIVE ME, GIVE ME!"
"Are you sure you want those big bucks?" Babs asked in a sly tone.
"YES,YES! COME ON ALREADY! I PLAYED YOUR STUPID GAME, NOW GIVE ME MY BIG BUCKS! COME ON,COME ON!" said Montana at the top of his lungs.
"There all yours brother. Or as they say on the streets these days..."
Babs spins around and comes out dressed as a ghetto gangster stereo type,
"...They's all yours bro. homie ,gee,gangster slice. Word." said Babs as she made exaggerated gang signs.
Then she spins around and comes out dressed in her usual attire. Babs then whistled at the top of her lungs. The ground started shaking. Montana looked around and said' "So where's my big bucks huh?"
"Oh don't worry, they're coming." said Babs with a sly grin on her face.
Then she adde, "Uh Monty, you might wanna turn around."
Montana turned around and saw a whole herd of bucks coming for him. Montana's eyes bulged out of his head as he screamed right before the bucks trampled over him. When the bucks left, Montana Max was as flat as a pancake on the ground. Babs saw Montana and then clasped her hands on her face in mock shock. Then a lit light bulb appeared over her head as she snapped her fingers. She ran into her beryl and came out with a tire air pumper. She stuck the hose in Montana's mouth and started pumping air into Montana's body. With each pump Montana blew up like a balloon. In no time, Montana was floating in the air. Babs raised her eyebrows twice while grinning her sly grin. Then she pulled the hose out of Montana's mouth. The air that was pumped into him came out of his mouth and the force sent him flying all the way to the other side of Acme Acres.
"Come back Daddy!" Python shouted as he ran after his dad.
Babs looked at the watch on her left wrist and saw what time it was.
"When did I start wearing a watch? Okay kids, times up. Time for you all to go back home." said Babs.
"Aaawwww." all the kids let out at the same time in disappointment.
"Oh, go on ya little rugrats. They're ll be another session after school tomorrow." said Babs.
Then she spun around and came out dressed like a hick tomboy. "Now go on get!" said Babs in a southern accent.
After all the kids left, Babs returned to her burrow and fell back into her recliner. She reached over to a picture on a stool that was next to her recliner. It was a picture of everyone from her class at Acme Looniversity. She and Buster were at the front of the group. She sighed and thought about how much fun she and her friends had. But now they were all grown up and had moved away to start their lives as adults. Suddenly Babs's phone rang , catching off guard. She yelled as her recliner fell backwards from her jumping up in surprise. She slowly got to her feet, grabbed the phone and said' "Hello?"
"..."
"Yes, this is Barbra Ann Bunny, but if you call me that again, I'm gonna have to reach through this phone and choke the life out of you." said Babs.
After that Babs listened to the operator and answered all her questions.
"Yeah I attended Acme Looniversity."
"..."
"Yeah I knew him. He was my principle in grade school."
"..."
"What?"
"..."
"Oh my gosh. That's horrible."
"..."
"I didn't even know a main character like him could."
"..."
"Yeah sure. Of course I'll help with the arrangements."
"..."
"I have to what?"
"..."
"All of them?"
"..."
"No, no. It's not a problem. I can do that."
"..."
"Yeah, thanks for calling me."
"..."
"You too. Bye."
Babs hung her phone up and then sat on the edge of her tipped over recliner. She then let out a small breath and asked out loud' "How am I ever going to tell Buster?"
This is a project I was working on inbetween my Godzilla stories, but stopped working on it along with my other projects when I previously lost my Internet connection. But now that I've got an access again, I feel it's time to work on it again and share it with the world. The dots were intentional because I want to keep the subject of the phone conversation a secret for now at least. Remember to leave a review. I'm The Guy Who Likes To Review Stuff, signing off.