The Pregnancy Ship

Chapter 14: Blind Panic part 2.

This is an A/U story

Disclaimer: These are not my characters they are fully James Duffs. I just love them so much and love to play with them.

At 7:00am Andy and Sharon woke up from a short nap, just as Dr, Janet Lockhart came in. Andy noticed that Doctor Janet looked exhausted. "Well, Sharon you seem to have done a bang up job on yourself? What happened, did you wrestle some suspect to the ground?" she asked sardonically.

"No, Janet I did not wrestle with suspects. It's no longer part of my job description. That's what my team is for." Sharon said sarcastically.

"Then what happened?"

Embarrassed, Sharon ducked her head and toyed with Andy's fingers. She couldn't see them, but the feel of them in her hand made her feel calm. " I..."

"It was my fault, Janet," said Andy.

"Andy it wasn't just your fault! I overreacted..." Andy put a finger over Sharon's mouth, to shush her and repeated what he was about to say. "It was my fault, Janet." He began again and he went on to explain what had happened.

"And you said she'd be safer at the office," the doctor retorted.

Andy opened his mouth to answer her, but Sharon interceded. "I was! If what happened at the office, had happened at home while I was alone I could have bled out before Andy or worse Rusty would have found me. Since I was at the office, my team was able to act quickly and they got me to the hospital in record time! Of course...it didn't help me when it comes to being able to see..." Sharon wiped a tear away, and choked back a sob. She decided not to mention the half hour she had delayed getting treated to wait for Andy.

"Hmmmph," Janet said. "I suppose you are right about that Sharon. In this case you were better off at the office. As for the blindness, I've looked at the CT scan results and this is temporary. Perhaps it will take longer to right itself, than a couple of days, but you will see again."

"How long ...will it take?" Sharon asked. Holding tightly to Andy's hand.

"Well, I'm afraid it could take six weeks or longer. There is a good bit of swelling, but Sharon if you'd hit your head just a tad to the left we wouldn't be having this conversation." The doctor said meaningfully.

Sharon's voice was husky with shock when she repeated, "six weeks! Or longer?" Her horror was evident in her face.

Janet started to nod, but realized she couldn't see her. "Yes, sooo with that in mind, an occupational therapist will come later this morning to help you learn to navigate in your new circumstances. Even though it is temporary, you'll want to care for yourself and not depend on others. You are basically blind...until you're not, so she'll be coming everyday for several weeks to teach you how to function under those circumstances. She'll teach your family how best to help, or not help as the situation warrants."

Sharon swallowed and tried not to fall apart, but it was a losing battle. She was exhausted and she had a splitting headache from trying to make sense out of the lights and shadows she did see. Tears rolled down her face. "Will I be able to see by the time the babies are born?" She asked in a trembling voice.

"That's four months away, so although I can't say for absolute sure, I will say I think so. I certainly hope so, Honey."

Sharon swallowed her tears and pressed her lips together, "I'll make you a deal Janet. Um, I will cooperate with the occupational therapist but I want to go home. Please, Janet let me go home! I can't rest here. My head is splitting because of the constant noise, and they come all hours of the night to check vitals and once I'm woke up I can't go back to sleep, not really. I doze but it's not a restful sleep."

"Honey, you know very well that waking you up every hour on the hour is important. It has proven to be an effective way to keep a head injury patient from going into a coma, but now you've past the danger point I will allow you to go home if you have someone there with you, 24/7." Janet said.

Sharon nodded. Relieved. Suddenly someone on the intercom could be heard calling for Dr. Lockhart. Sharon winced and held her head in her hands until the noise stopped. Then she looked up, "Since under these circumstances I'd be terrified to be alone, I have no problem with that. When can I leave?"

"Not until later today Honey, you've got to see the occupational therapist first. I've got to go, I'll see you before you leave." She ran out the door being careful to close the door behind her.

Andy pulled Sharon close, kissing her on the forehead. He started running his fingers through her hair and murmuring comforting words to her. She snuggled into him, and started to drift into a light sleep only to be dealt a good swift kick in her bladder by each of the twins! She groaned.

"What, Honey? What's wrong? What hurts?" Andy asked concerned.

"Nothing is wrong, it just feels like the children are practicing football and using my bladder as the ball. I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be grateful to be catheterized, but if I hadn't been, I probably would have wet myself. If I hadn't seen that they are both girls with my own eyes, I'd swear we had a future Green Bay Packer kicker in there." She felt for his hand and placed it where she was feeling the movements.

"Wow! Amazing! I actually felt that!" Said Andy in wonder.

"I guess having twins does make a big difference. When I was pregnant with both Emily and Ricky it only felt like butterfly wings at this stage.

"That didn't feel like butterfly wings!" Andy said.

Sharon gave Andy a watery smile. "No, it doesn't, does it. You should feel it from the inside and when they get bigger it will be interesting to see how much sleep I get. Both Emily and Ricky were very active at night."

She buried her face in his chest and her shoulders shook with her sobs. Andy pulled away and wiped Sharon's tears with his thumbs. "You are worried you won't see the babies born, hmmm?"

She nodded, "I'm sorry!"

"No reason to be sorry, if anybody should be sorry it would be me. If I had come straight back after the first meeting this would never have happened!"

Sharon reached up and felt for his face, when she found it she placed her hands on his cheeks. "Andy never apologize for going to one or three or ten meetings to maintain your sobriety. I understand needing to clear your head at the beach. I've done it countless times myself, after a particularly hard case. Just, next time please don't drop your phone in the ocean hmmm?"

Andy shrugged, "I didn't do it on purpose, Sweetheart. "

"I over-reacted to not being able to get in touch with you. These pregnancy hormones have me in an almost constant state of freak out. The worst thing is I can't seem to control my emotions at all!"

"It's okay Sweetheart. You don't have to control them for me."

"I'm not trying to control them for you, exactly. I know I'm safe with you. Now, Jack would always use my emotions against me, and I've had to keep my emotions under control for other reasons as well, my career, raising my family alone. I've kept my emotions under control for so long it became second nature, but then I got pregnant with twins and it's like somebody opened Pandora's box!" Sharon was trying to explain without actually freaking out again, but she didn't think it was working as she continued to panic more. "They're overflowing and overwhelming, and it takes so much more effort to hold the tears back, and I'm soo tired Andy and soo scared!"

He could hear the anxiety and exhaustion in her voice. Andy knew it would help her to talk about, to get out her worries, so he asked. "What are you scared of Sharon?"

Taking a deep breath then slowly letting it out. Sharon knew what Andy was doing, but this was all too much for her to accept in her state of mind. She told him her biggest fear in a shaky voice. "That the blindness is permanent. I know they've said it's temporary, but I'm afraid..."

"It is only temporary, Sweetheart. All the doctors agree on that..."

"Yes I know, but it doesn't...feel temporary," her voice had started as tremulous and dissolved into soft sobs.

Andy held her close and let her cry herself to sleep. He rubbed her back and stroked her hair, until he could feel her breathing change. Then he closed his own eyes and napped until Rusty woke him up at 11:00am. "Hey Andy," he whispered. "I brought your toiletries, and mom's too. I forgot those last night."

"Thanks Rusty."

"Um, if you want to take a shower you better do it now. The low vision occupational therapist, will be here soon for mom."

Andy nodded and grabbed his duffel bag and toiletry bag. "Thanks Rusty, listen if you wake her up do it gently. She hasn't slept well all night, and she just went back to sleep a couple of hours ago." Andy went to the bathroom, and started a quick shower.

Rusty decided to let his mom sleep some more and sat in the chair next to the bed and read some information off the Internet about teaching the newly blind to function in their environment. Sharon woke up from a nightmare, seconds later. "Andy! Andy..." Sharon sat up in panic.

Rusty stood up and put his arms around Sharon."Hey, Mom! It's okay..."

"Where's Andy?" She asked her voice tremulous.

Rusty spoke to Sharon in a calm rational voice. "Mom, listen what do you hear?"

Sharon tilted her head and closed her eyes. "Um...the shower? He's in the shower?" Sharon said and relaxed.

"Yes. He's in the shower. Here..." Rusty made the head of the bed sit-up, "sit back. Were you having a nightmare?"

"Yes." She said taking deep breaths, to calm herself. She didn't want to be a burden on her son. He had been through enough in his short lifetime. Sadly she said, "I'm sorry Rusty, you shouldn't have to take care of me like this. I'm such a basket case!"

"Mom, you're not a basket case. You've had a lot to deal with lately and I can't say how I'd react to being blind. Even if it's only temporary."

"But you already had to take care of one mother, you shouldn't have to take care of me too," she said sadly.

"Mom, it's not the same, not even remotely. My biological mom, she was a drug addict, and a drunk. She made herself sick, and then expected me to take care of her. You are not like that. You have been there for me since I became your foster child. You've saved me so many times and then you adopted me and we became a family. Families are there for each other no matter what. Right?" Sharon nodded.

"How did you get so smart, caring and just... well...so grown up? Hmm?" Sharon said reaching for his cheek. She found it and then ran her hand up to the top of his head and ruffled his hair.

"He had you to teach him." Andy said as he walked out of the bathroom. He wore a pair of dark jeans a cranberry button down and a gray sweater. He smelled of Bulgari aftershave.

"Thank you for that." She said as she smiled. Sure she couldn't see him but she knew that voice and that smell, it was all Andy.

Andy sat down beside her and she leaned her head on his shoulder, nuzzling his neck so she could breathe in his aftershave. "Just telling the truth," he said, kissing her cheek.

Rusty was used to the public displays of affection but it still made him feel a little awkward at times. "Listen, Mom and Andy. I've been reading up on this blindness thing, about how to help a person newly blinded temporarily or otherwise. I brought you breakfast, and if you don't mind, I'd like to try some of the stuff."

"Okay," Sharon said. Happy that Rusty had researched this and wanted to help her.

Rusty handed Andy his carton of oatmeal. Then he set Sharon's carton of oatmeal from Starbucks on the table and placed it in front of her. He placed the packets of sugar, nuts and raisins in front of her too. "Can you find the carton of oatmeal, Mom? Can you open it?" Sharon moved her hand slowly over the surface of the tabletop. She found the carton with her left hand and held it, while her right hand reached for the top. She unscrewed the lid and placed it beside the carton.

"Great! Now find the brown sugar packet." Again Sharon slowly ran her hand along the tabletop to find the individual little packets and by touching each packet she located the paper package of brown sugar and tore it open a small amount. "Now put your left hand halfway over the top and use it as a guide to pour the sugar into the oatmeal." Sharon did as she was told. She managed to get the sugar in the carton without spilling any on the counter top. She did the nuts and the raisins the same way. Then without prompting she found the spoon, and dipped it into the oatmeal and began to eat it. "You've done this before?" Rusty said, not sure whether to be disappointed or elated to have such an apt pupil.

"Well, yes and no. As the head of Professional Standards I often designed sensitivity training courses to best help my fellow officers to show respect and understanding for the people they had to deal with. I overheard some of my fellow officers making derisive comments about some physically challenged witnesses they had interviewed. I began immediately to design a sensitivity course addressing the ignorance of those officers as to the many challenges a person who is blind or otherwise physically handicapped has to face on any given day. After I designed it with the help of some occupational therapists I went through it myself to see if it met the needs it was meant to address."

"So you taught the officers what it was like to be blind or deaf or physically handicapped?"

"Yes. Not me exactly, a facilitator was hired to actually teach the course. The goal of course is make them aware of what these people's challenges were, by experiencing it themselves, and be kind rather than derisive insensitive louts."

"So Andy, how many times did you have to go through it?" Rusty asked jokingly.

"Only once for that one, Kid. There were a few I went through more than once, but mainly to keep Louie company while he took them over and over again." Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sharon roll her eyes and press her lips together in an effort not to laugh, but she lost the battle and a low throaty chuckle bubbled up. He chuckled too, not at all offended. It was the reaction he'd hoped for. It was good to hear her laugh again after so many tears.

When Sharon regained her composure, she explained. "The entire police force was required to attend all sensitivity training courses at least once, if they were sent back to repeat the course, it was because they were caught behaving inappropriately."

"So Andy and Lt. Provenza had to repeat them over and over?"

"Not that particular one, both of them got the physically challenged one without any trouble, but there were other courses they had trouble comprehending and had to repeat over and over." Sharon said, pointing in Andy's general direction and pretending to be stern.

"Ahhhh! So Sharon you have a penchant for the bad boys, huh?" Rusty teased.

"Only if they are capable of being rehabilitated." Sharon teased back, kissing Andy on the lips and squeezing Andy's hand three times. He returned the kiss and squeezed back.

Thank you for reading my story. A special thank you if you have taken the time to leave a review.