"Can we please not do this right now?" I don't know what look was on my face, but I imagined it couldn't be a good one – the weight of Alice's words was just starting to hit me, the implications making me want to sleep for a very, very long time.

"I'm worried about you, Bella."

"What?" I sighed, realising I couldn't just make a dash for the stairs of my building – she'd definitely catch up with me.

"You heard. You didn't want anything to do with that girl the other day. Now, you're what, going out for romantic walks in the moonlight?"

"No. No. It wasn't like that. She just… Had to explain some things. Just drop it. Please."

"But I - "

"No!" I held up a hand to silence her, my eyes flashing with that dangerous anger that sometimes came to the surface when I was really pissed off. Like now, for example.

Sleepy and stressed Bella was cranky, alright.

"Jesus, calm down." I glared at her, and she held her hands up in an apologetic gesture. "Alright, I'm sorry. And I'll let it go… For now."

"Thank you," I said, as I stepped past her, subtly inching my closer to the entrance to the building, and praying that she wouldn't ask to come in and talk.

"Want me to come up with you?"

Damn.

"No, I'm good. I'm actually planning on heading straight to bed and passing out... I'll ring you tomorrow though, yeah? And we can go out for drinks or something." I felt kind of bad for pushing her away, especially when she was always there for me, but if I didn't sleep soon, I was going to kill someone. It had been pretty hard to come by lately.

"Alright. See you then." A brief look of disappointment flashed across her face, the last expression I saw before I turned away. I went to bed fully clothed, without the will or the energy to change into my pyjamas, and I embraced unconsciousness happily, glad that it would give me relief from my thoughts, if only for a little while.

x-x-x

"There's one thing I'm curious about… That letter you left me. You never really were going to leave, were you?" She grinned, and I saw some of her cheerful, playful character come back to her in that moment – a flash of the person that I had used to know.

It was two days later, and we were in my apartment, chatting about meaningless things. Well, until I managed to steer it to more pressing matters.

"Nope. But I knew that if I said that you'd only have to meet with me once, that you'd be more inclined to meet with me."

She'd been speaking to me more and more at work lately, and it hadn't, much to my surprise, been too much of a chore. I was quickly remembering why we had been such great friends, all that time ago.

"So, you lied?"

"I… It was in your best interest if I lied. But yes, if you want to look at it like that, then I did."

"Well, then, I think that because of that, you owe me." I'd been working up to this for a while, desperate to find out more about why she was here, and, more importantly, alone.

"Well, that depends what, exactly, I owe you." She was obviously wary, but I figured it was now or never.

"I want to know what happened between you and your family." She didn't say anything for a long time, her eyes finding the window, but I stayed and waited, as patiently as I could.

"I… I won't tell you everything. Not yet. But… What, specifically, do you want to know?"

"Edward?"

"Pass." Upon seeing my frown, she smiled, very slightly, and simply said, "I told you. Not everything. That's something I don't want to go into for a little while yet."

"Jasper?" An expression akin to a grimace passed over her features at the mention of his name, which only made me curious; though I was already sure what he reply was going to be.

"Pass."

"Oh, come on."

"I'll tell you about all the others, though."

"That's not nearly as interesting."

"Well, that's all you're getting."

"Fine," I sighed, drawing my knees up to my chest. "Do you still talk to them all?"

"Not as much as I probably should. Like I said, things have changed… Something happened with Jasper, and then something happened between me and Edward. As a result, things are very… divided, so I try not to make things any more difficult for them. I tried to stay at home, for a while – Esme and Carlisle have a house in Russia, and me and Edward stayed with them, and Rose and Emmet had a house a little way away."

"Russia?"

"It's a beautiful country. Cold, for humans, in the winter, but perfect for us. It was Esme's idea – the architecture there has always fascinated her."

"And Jasper?"

"Hasn't lived with us for just under a year. He didn't come to Russia with us." I didn't push anymore, trying to respect that she didn't want to tell me, in the hope that she would just that little bit sooner.

"But anyway, when I started having these visions about Victoria… Things became very strained between Edward and me. Eventually, something happened between the two of us, something which I'll get to at a later date, and it made it very difficult for us to be around each other. I was very angry, and him even more so.

"I left, after a while… Esme and Carlisle tried to be neutral, but I knew they didn't really want me to come out here. They wanted you safe, obviously, but they wanted to try a different approach… Get you somewhere else, for example, somewhere hidden, anonymously."

"Would that work?"

"I don't know," she said it a little too quickly, but it wasn't something I registered immediately. "It'd be risky. Even more so that this, so… Rosalie took my side because she disagreed with Edward, but Emmet was with Edward, and that made thing strained between them, so I left."

"Where did you go?"

"I travelled, for a little while. I had to keep track of Victoria, of course, but I wasn't idiotic enough to go after her alone. I wanted to - you have no idea how much - but I wouldn't have a chance against her. Not alone. I considered going to the Volturi, as well, to tell them where she was, to eradicate the threat she was to you, in the beginning, but that, too, would reveal how much you knew. So I could do nothing but wait."

The doorbell to my apartment rang, and I jumped, having been completely entranced by her story and her words.

"It's your friend." She murmured, sounding slightly annoyed, and she made to stand up as I did, presumably to make her escape.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't think that it's a good idea for me to be here while she is, Bella."

"Well, I do. Come in!" She shot me a furious look but Nikki strode into the room at the same moment, meaning that there was no chance of her escaping.

Nikki's eyes flickered over to Alice, then to me, and I hoped the slight smile that was on my face was enough to dilute any remaining anger that she might've held towards me after I'd refused to explain what Alice and I had spoken of on that fateful night.

"Bella, Alice… I'm actually glad you're here. There are some things that I'd like to talk about."

"Uh, what?" She was kind of making me nervous, and I didn't like that feeling, and I also didn't like the look she had on her face. But Nikki's eyes were fixed on Alice, not me, with only filled me with further trepidation.

"You're not who you say you are, are you, Alice?" I froze, and cursed whoever was listening for granting me with a friend who just wouldn't leave things be. Alice's eyes flashed with a dangerous glint, no doubt offended at the accusation, true as it may be.

"And why's that?"

"It was pretty hard to find any information on you. But I pieced some things together. You didn't grow up in Paris. You couldn't have, if you knew Bella before she moved out here. You've fabricated a name for yourself; you're a liar. And I wanted Bella to know that." She turned to look at me, a triumphant look on her face. I shot a look at Alice to gauge her reaction, but her face was carefully blank, wiped of all emotion.

"You're right. I didn't. I grew up in the States. And Bella already knew that."

"Then why lie?"

"Because, Nikki," she hissed the name, her mouth curling slightly as though it burned her to address her directly, and the unmistakable fury simmering beneath her calmly controlled exterior began to shine through to me. I'd have to stop their argument soon enough – I didn't want a loss of control to ruin everything. "In case you haven't noticed, it's almost impossible to make it in the fashion industry. Having a background of living in a city considered on of the fashion capitals of the world gave me the edge I needed to break through."

"You shouldn't have lied. If you make it big, people are going to find out."

"I don't plan on making it 'big'. I just want to get some of my designs out there. And I plan to stay in the shadows. Are you done with your interrogation, now?" Alice snapped, and I saw her hands shake slightly - just slightly, but enough for me to know that, along with the gradual darkening of her eyes over the days, told me that she should hunt soon.

And the sooner the better, really.

"If you've lied about that, then what else have you lied about? Why are you here? Why now?" I'd had enough by that point, and I stepped forward delicately, acutely aware that I was now in the middle of the two of them. I narrowed my eyes at Nikki but my words were to Alice when I spoke.

"I think you should leave us alone for a minute, Alice." She said nothing more but I heard the soft click of her heels on my wooden floor, and then the sound of the door opening and closing. I rounded on Nikki immediately.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Looking out for you! Do you even know why she's here? And I mean, the whole story? Not half-truths? Because I don't understand why you're now suddenly all buddy-buddy with her. I thought you hated her."

"No. I hate Edward. Not her."

"You didn't seem so happy when she turned up. Explain that, then."

"Why do you even care?" We were practically shouting now, my voice raising in volume as I got more and more worked up – I didn't like others questioning my actions, especially when I was so unsure of them myself. It was a flaw, but it was one I doubted I would ever be rid of.

"Because I care about you!" She screamed back, and she took several steps closer, her breathing heavy. "I care about you. And I don't want to see you hurt. And I care about you."

"You already said that."

"Because you're not hearing me." The next second, she'd stepped even closer to me, and then, she was kissing me, her mouth hot against my own. "I care about you," she murmured against my lips when we broke apart, and I could only stand, stunned, for a moment, everything clicking into place – slowly, but eventually, I understood. Slightly.

"Nikki, I… I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," she muttered, darkly, turning away from me. I heard the slight catch in her voice, though, and I knew she was upset. I'd honestly had no idea she had feelings for me - if I had, there was no way I would've led her on so much. "I already knew you don't feel the same way. I just thought that you should know."

"How… How long?"

"Long enough." She started to make her way over to the door, and I almost called out for her to stay, before deciding that it wouldn't be such a good idea. "Just… Just make sure that you know everything about your friend."

And then she was gone leaving me standing, still stunned, in the middle of my apartment, wondering how everything could fuck itself up so fantastically in just a few short days.

I sighed and sat down on my couch, resting my head in my hands, and realising, regretfully, that Nikki did actually have a bit of a point.

I didn't know everything about why Alice was here. Not really. Aside from the stuff with her family, which I could deal with not knowing, for now – I couldn't help but have the creeping suspicion, now that I was thinking it all through, that Alice was being completely honest with me.

Surely the Volturi would be powerful. Powerful enough to see through deceit. And that would be exactly what me and Alice would be doing – deceiving them into thinking that we were in a relationship.

A viable one.

And it just didn't make sense to me, right then, of how, exactly we were going to pull that of, and most importantly, pull it off successfully. And yet, Alice had seemed so certain.

No, there was definitely something she wasn't telling me.

Just as I had that thought, I heard the sound of a gentle knock on the door before it opened and Alice came into my view, looking much calmer than she had when she'd left. I sprang to my feet, looking at her with suspicious eyes.

"Have fun with your friend?" She asked the question lightly, though I knew she'd seen the look on my face, knew that she had probably already had a vision of this and knew exactly what I was going to say before I said it. Even so, I wasn't letting her go without some answers.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You can't be so sure. That they won't kill me. So how are you?"

"I'm not. Like I said - " But I cut her off, knowing, form her obvious deflecting, that there was indeed something to be discovered here.

"No. I want you to tell me the truth. After everything, you at least owe me that much. I don't care what it is. I don't care. Just tell me why you're so reluctant to tell me how you're so certain that this will work. That I won't… That they won't kill me. Please." A million emotions flickered over her face before her eyes softened and she took a step closer.

"Bella…"

"No. Tell. Me." I was getting irrationally angry, it was true, but out of everything that had been happening lately - Alice's news of the danger I could be potentially be in, Nikki's reaction and consequential revelation, just everything - my emotions towards her were the only thing I could control.

And, as such, I took it all out on her.

I didn't even want to know, not really, because I knew she must have a pretty good reason for not saying it in the first place, but there, in that moment, I didn't care. I just wanted some semblance of control… something to hold on to.

"I… I know that it'll work because in my vision… We weren't pretending to be together. We were together." It looked like it pained her to say the words, though I couldn't say why, not when my head was spinning, not when I could barely process what she'd said – never mind believe it.

"I don't understand."

"Bella, please, just… It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you'll be safe."

"What you're saying. That matters! You… You mean to say that when they come… We'll be together? In a relationship?" My voice was strained, and I wanted, desperately, for her to call me stupid for suggesting such a thing, to say that she was merely joking, but I could tell my the expression on her face that I would get no such comfort. That was my confirmation – she didn't have to say a word.

"No. No. I… I'm sorry. I have to go." I spun around and lurched to the door, wrenching it open as best as I could with my shaking hands, and slamming it shut behind me. The fact that it was my own apartment was irrelevant - I needed to get out of there, away from her.

"Bella, wait!" I heard her shout from behind the door, but I turned and was gone, not wanting to risk her opening the door and coming to find me.

I knew that her visions were subjective, and if they were, if we weren't going to be believed… Then that meant I was going to die.

And yet, the alternative was almost as terrifying. Edward had completely destroyed me, and it had taken me years to repair that damage. To let someone else back in, someone so similar?

I had little doubt that that would destroy me, too.

I knew that Alice wasn't the same as him, but that didn't change much. She was still a vampire. And that, in the end, had been the original problem. So, nothing had changed there.

Why did I have to lose everything, and all at once? Yesterday, sure, I might've been worried about the whole possible-death thing, but at least I could've turned to my best friend and have her take my mind of it, regardless of the fact that I couldn't tell her why, exactly, I was so worked up.

But now, I didn't even have that small comfort.

I just needed some time to think – to think about everything. Could I really, realistically, see myself in a relationship with her? And, if I couldn't… If I couldn't bear to let her in…

Was fighting it worth dying for?

A/N:

I am so terribly sorry for the long wait. And the shortness of this chapter. Life's been intruding upon my writing time lately… Being in my final year of college means, unfortunately, exams in January.

Hopefully, I'll be able to update more quickly next time but don't hold me to that.

I hope this chapter cleared a couple of things up… If you loved it, hated it, I'd love to hear it. :)