A/N: Ok, a slightly longer chapter to make up for my absence… Not sure what you'll all make of this, but I'd appreciate the feedback, because I have no idea if this was what anyone was expecting.

A little drama in here, as well, because you can never have too much drama… And I actually have a rough plan for this now, instead of writing whatever randomly comes into my head (which I totally have not been doing for seven chapters… At all), so that might make things a little easier when it comes to updating.

Might.

But yeah, on with the story. Reviews are awesome. :D

"You look far too happy for a Thursday morning." The voice made me jump, and I whirled around in my office chair, glaring at a grinning Nikki, who stood, arms crossed, in my doorway. "You should also be working, shouldn't you, rather than staring out the window?"

"Shouldn't you be working?"

"Technicalities." I smiled as she stepped inside my office, shutting the door behind her. It was time for my break anyway – the fact that I'd really been on a break for the past hour was irrelevant. It'd been a slow week. "So, are you going to tell me why you're smiling like an idiot?"

"Not really, no." To be perfectly honest, I was unaware that I had been. Of course, I had perfect reason to – my date with Alice had been indescribably amazing, and I was still reeling from that kiss. And I was seeing her again in just a few short hours.

Not that I was, you know, counting down the hours.

And especially not the minutes.

I couldn't tell Nikki any of this, though – even if I didn't want to burden her with the details of my love life, I wouldn't have said anything. I knew that she would berate me for moving too fast – though I was perfectly aware of this myself…. although I apparently (and conveniently) forgot this whenever the girl in question was around.

I could barely even comprehend why I was so drawn to her in the first place – I was beginning to think that I had been so repressed when we'd both lived in Forks that I hadn't noticed any attraction towards her, combined with the fact that I had been so blinded by him to really think of anyone else that way,

Let alone his sister.

"Suit yourself. I'll find out eventually, though. I'm like a sleuth, remember? You can't hide shit from me." This was partially true, though I'd never really had cause to hide many things from my best friend. The few times I had, though… she'd always figured me out. If it had been anyone else, it would have annoyed the hell out of me.

"What are you doing here, then?" I asked, partly to change the subject, partly because I was curious. I knew she didn't have long enough on a regular break to come down to see me, and her lunch break wouldn't be for an hour or so. She sighed, and I saw for the first time a flash of unusually serious emotion in her eyes, and I mentally cursed myself for not noticing sooner. I'd been a shitty friend, lately.

"My family are in town. It's my brother's birthday next week, and he's celebrating at the weekend. He texted me about half an hour ago saying that my parents were planning to head down to the shop to see me. So, I left. And I didn't know where else to go, so I came here. They won't look for me here."

I was aware of the trouble that Nikki had had when coming out to her family – that was, no-one had really, truly accepted her. Apart from her brother, Daniel, who I would have loved just for that, but who was actually a really decent guy. If I'd have swung that way when I had moved out here, then he wouldn't have been a bad candidate for a boyfriend.

"Did he not warn you they were coming to stay?"

"He didn't know. They surprised him, apparently."

"Well… If you want, you can stay at my place while they're here." I was mentally trying to figure out how I was going to see Alice later if Nikki was at my apartment, but I could imagine all too easily how she must feel. Not that I'd had any of that trouble with my own family (thank God), but I could empathize. And besides, I hadn't really spent all that much time with her for a while.

"Oh, no, I don't want to be any trouble. Really, it'll be fine. I don't think they'll remember where I live, anyway."

"But what if they do? Look, the invitation's there, alright? If they come over, feel free to crash at mine. I honestly don't mind. Promise me?"

"Ok, I will. I'll ring you before I just randomly appear, though." Her phone buzzed, and she glanced at the screen, smirking slightly when she read the message. "Apparently, Daddy isn't too happy I'm avoiding him. What. A. Shame." She looked at the clock on the wall and sighed. "Well, I suppose I'd better get going. I'll see you soon?"

"Of course. Seriously, though, if you need to stay…"

"I'll tell you." She turned with one last smile and slipped through the door, leaving me wondering whether her answer would have been different if all of this had happened a month ago.

x-x-x

I was nervous, later that afternoon, when I finished work. I had little reason to be, after yesterday, but I still was. That was generally the way Alice made me feel – though not in a bad way. Definitely not in a bad way.

I hadn't seen her in work that day, though I doubted she wouldn't turn up without telling me first, so I threw on some clothes that were less professional and more… well, sexy, because I knew she would be (effortlessly so), and I didn't like to look second best.

So I changed into slightly-tighter-than-normal black jeans and a top with a lower neckline than I would usually wear, and tried to relax by watching the tv. After five minutes of flicking nervously through the channels, I gave up, eventually picking one at random and letting it become background noise.

It was a while later when I heard the knock at my door, and I sprang to my feet instantly, trying not to walk too fast, and inwardly cursing myself for acting like such a teenager. I took a deep breath before opening the door, and when I did, I noticed immediately that there was something wrong. I wasn't sure how I knew, exactly, but I did. It was almost like a sixth sense.

"What's wrong?" I asked, letting my eyes skim briefly over the outfit she was wearing (which, as expected, made her look drop-dead-gorgeous).

"What? Nothing! Nothing's wrong." But the smile she gave me was slightly forced, and didn't quite reach her eyes. She looked… She looked a little worried, and that, in turn, didn't put me at ease.

"No, there is. There's something up. So tell me, or I won't let you in." It was a bold statement, because I knew for a fact that if she wanted in my apartment, she could get in my apartment. Hell, she could probably scale the wall and climb through a window quicker than taking the stairs.

"Bella. Look, there's nothing wrong, ok? Not yet, at least," she muttered, under her breath. I eyed her suspiciously, and she groaned in frustration, crossing her arms across her chest (which, of course, drew my eyes down, which, in turn, made her smirk). "My eyes are up here, you know," she whispered, and I swear, the speed at which she could go from normal to sexy as hell was amazing. There was a playful expression on her face now, and I hoped that that meant that whatever was bothered her wasn't too important.

"I am aware of where your eyes are, yes. But I am also aware of other, more… interesting, body parts, so leave me be."

"Are you going to stop ogling me long enough to let me in?" I blushed, just a little, and she saw, a soft smile now gracing her features. "Am I embarrassing you?" She murmured, teasingly.

"Nope. You're doing something to me, but embarrassing is not the word. I can supply you with a few different words, though."

"Isabelle Swan. I'm shocked. You really have changed."

"What, because I couldn't flirt before?"

"Mm. But I think I could grow to like this version of you. Really like." I felt a rush of heat at the husky tone of her voice, and I stepped aside from my doorway, allowing her in. "And my plan works."

"You cheated," I muttered as I shut the door behind her. She was already sat on my couch when I turned around, and I was momentarily surprised, having forgotten just how fast she could move.

"I don't cheat. Honest."

"I'm sure." I sat down, leaning my back against one of the arms of the couch, putting my legs up in front of me, leaving enough distance between us so that I wouldn't get… distracted.

"So, you obviously have questions." She switched from playful to serious in a second, leaving me a little bit left behind.

"Wow, you don't waste time, do you? You have somewhere to be?" She didn't answer except for a smile, but I was certain that I saw something flicker in her eyes. It made me curious, but I didn't say anything. "Well, I don't know where you're starting from. So you just go ahead."

She didn't say anything, but her eyes dropped to focus on her hands, where she was wringing her fingers, an obviously nervous habit that she'd never gotten rid of. She sighed softly, before lifting her head for her eyes to meet mine. "I have quite a lot to say, and some of it… Some of it, you might not want to hear. You might not be ready to hear. Not yet. I just want to make that clear. So that if, after I'm done, you regret me saying what I do, that you'll remember that I tried to warn you."

She spoke quickly, her words almost melding together in her rush to get them out. I deliberated for a mere moment, because I wanted the truth. All I ever wanted, really, was the truth – no matter how much it hurt.

"Consider me warned. Go ahead."

"Ok, so, I guess I'll start with me and Jasper. That's probably the simplest one… And it ties in a little with the Edward story." She looked away from me once more, her fingers now playing with a thread that was frayed on the edge of the jacket she was wearing as she spoke.

"So you've obviously guessed by now that Jasper and I are no longer together. Vampires, you see, have one true mate. One person that they're supposed to spend their entire… un-life, I suppose you could say, with. We thought that we were meant to be. That was why I stayed with him after… Well, no, I'll get to that later. While we can feel a certain pull, if you will, to humans, who, if Turned would, potentially, be a mate, it is nothing like that of a fellow vampire. But it is often the case that the human in question will be Turned… or killed, because the vampire couldn't control themselves."

"Like… Like me and Edward? Am I supposed to be his mate?" I couldn't quite keep the horror from coloring my voice, aghast as I was with this information.

"No, not necessarily. While he did feel an intense attraction to you, an intense pull… No, I don't believe you were meant to be. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been able to leave. It destroys a vampire, you see, to lose their true mate."

"Is that… Could that be why Victoria hates me so much? Because Edward killed James, and he was her mate?"

"If I had to hazard a guess, then I would say so. Even if they weren't true mates, vampires who have been together for a while bond to an extent that the loss is extreme, even if they aren't meant to be."

"So… what happened to you and Jasper?"

"He met his mate. She, obviously, isn't me." A flash of pain crossed her face as she spoke, though it was gone a second later. I couldn't feel too sorry for her, though – while I was sorry for it hurting her, they had stayed together, then we wouldn't be here. And that, I was starting to realize, would have been a terrible thing indeed. Ironic, really, seeing as I'd originally cursed her arrival.

"Oh, Alice. I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't feel too sorry for me." She laughed, a little bitterly, which, I had to admit, didn't sound right coming from her. She'd been so… happy when we'd last been around each other. Then again, with how much I'd changed, I was hardly one to talk. "I wasn't exactly as good a mate as I could have been. Which, again, I'll get to later.

"Anyway, they met just a year or so after we left Forks. I wasn't quite as upset as I… otherwise would have been, but it still hurt. They stayed with us, for a while. Not in the same house, thank God, but nearby. I think he saw how much it hurt, for me to see him happy when I wasn't, and that was why he didn't move when we did. I regret not being able to talk to him like I used to, but… I'm petty. I want what he got so easily. I'm not really one for letting things go, to tell you the truth…"

She paused, letting the story sink in, I assumed, and I mulled it over for a while. I had to admit, it hadn't been what I'd been expecting, but then again, I should really be getting used to that by now.

"So, then. Edward." Saying his name still left a slightly bitter taste in my mouth, and I saw Alice grimace, which only made me more curious about what had happened. "What did he do to you to make you hate him so much?"

"It wasn't what he did to me. It was what he did to you."

"…What?"

"This is the part of the story that I warned you about." She closed her eyes, one of her hands pressing against her forehead. "I… Edward saw you first. If I had, then maybe things would have been different… You see, I felt the same thing as Edward when I met you. Or if not the same, then stronger. I suspect the latter, because I'm here now, and he's not."

"So you… You… You had feelings for me… all that time ago?" Her eyes watched me, warily, as I sat a little stunned, my head spinning. I understood, I guess, why she was so reluctant to tell me all this – that meant she'd been holding on to that for years. And me? I'd only just a week ago accepted that I might in fact have feelings for her.

Seriously – why was I deemed to have such a messed up life?

"I did. And I warned you about this, Bella, I hope you remember." She seemed uncomfortable, so I let her plough on with the story, even though my mind was still reeling. "Edward, obviously, wasn't happy about this. You've seen how jealous he is. He decided that, because he saw you first, spoke to you first, had such a violent reaction… was so out of control, that he must like you more, and therefore had some sort of… claim on you." The disgust was evident in her voice, and I wondered how she had managed to maintain the relationship she had with him if she was feeling all of this.

"He said it wasn't fair, that I had Jasper. And he was right – I did. So I accepted that you be only my friend, and I tried not to let my overwhelming jealousy every time he touched you affect either my relationship with him, or with Jasper. It was difficult, but after a while, I managed. It got easier, you see, once I knew how you felt about him in return – that he made you happy.

"When he wanted us to leave… God, you have no idea how angry I was. The forest, at the back of the house… Let's just say there was a man-made clearing in there when I was done. I protested, but he argued with me for days – that was why we didn't go straight away. He wanted to. He didn't even want to say goodbye, not really. But I told him he had to, that it would be terribly unfair if he didn't.

"He forced me to leave you - they all did. If I'd have believed, for a second, that you would accept me in his place, then I would have stayed. But I wasn't naïve – I had accepted, by that point, that you would never look at me like you looked at him. And I, stupidly, thought that maybe he had a point, that maybe you'd be safer if we did leave… He was so fucking convincing….

"I kept checking up on you, obviously, because I couldn't just not know if you were doing ok. Seeing you in such bad shape, those first few months… God, I was so tempted to come back. But Jasper told me not to. And then, when he left me, I was going to come back… But you were, well, not happy, per se, but on the way to being. I couldn't bear to come back and ruin that. So I stayed away.

"My family tried to distract me, and it worked, to extent. I was a bit better for the few years after that. Edward hadn't been living with us; he'd been moping in South America or somewhere, but when he did come back, he was furious when he found out I'd been checking up on you. Livid. We had an awful argument, but he let it go… at least until he learned about the Victoria vision.

"He wasn't happy about that. When he found out I was planning to go to you, to protect you… he was furious. He was absolutely convinced that I was using it as an excuse, to get close to you, to make you want me, that he couldn't see that I only wanted to keep you safe. To keep the Volturi from…" She broke off, unable to say the words, before she continued. "The fallout from that was immense. We had the worse fight ever – came to blows, everything you can imagine. The house was barely standing after we were done.

"But I refused to let him control me again. I wasn't going to let his idiotic mistake cause you any more harm. And I told him so, and he said that he should be the one to come back, to rectify what had gone wrong. So I told him to go fuck himself, and, well, he didn't take that comment so well.

"I didn't know, of course, if you would be happy if he came back, but I selfishly hoped that you wouldn't. And when he made his mind up to come after you, I had a vision, and you… You were furious. You were absolutely enraged. You were amazing. So, when he saw that vision, he conceded that he shouldn't bother you – but insisted that I shouldn't, either. That the Volturi would be unable to read your mind, so you'd be spared.

"I called him an idiot, and he left. But the damage was done… It was unbearable to stay with Esme and Carlisle, knowing that I was the reason their family was so torn apart. So I left, and made my way gradually back to you. I didn't know how you'd react to seeing me – my visions kept changing. I was absolutely terrified of what you'd say… Especially when I revealed my grand plan."

"But you said that you saw us together… You must have known!" I managed to find my voice, finally, after staying silent through her tale. Because really, what could I say to all of that? I was still stunned that she'd had feelings for me for so long.

Why was I so special? I was perfectly ordinary.

"I… Ok, so I may have made that up, a little." She said sheepishly, her head bowed a little, hiding her eyes. "It could have gone either way – we could have pretended, because you took the whole thing badly, or it could have worked out."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Where do we end up?"

"I haven't looked that far ahead."

"Why not?"

"Sometimes, it's nice to be surprised," she murmured, before she went abruptly still. I panicked for a brief second before recognizing that she was having a vision, and I willed myself to calm down. I thought, briefly, about all that she'd told me, wondered what to make of it all. It didn't change things, not really – I dreaded to think it, especially so soon, but I was going to hazard a guess and say that I was in deep already. Too deep, apparently, to be bothered by such proclamations that had just been laid on me.

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck," was what snapped me out of my reverie, and I turned to see Alice, on her feet, hands clenched into fists at her sides, her jaw also clenched tightly, and her eyes filled with what I assumed to be anger.

"What? What is it? What did you see?" I jumped to my feet as well, catching hold of one of her hands so that she couldn't turn away from me.

"I… I have to go Bella, I'm sorry."

"What? You can't go… I… I want you to stay." I don't think I'd ever meant something more – I did want her to stay, more than anything. I wanted to keep talking to her, because when it was just me and her, in my apartment, the rest of the world didn't matter. It didn't matter that she was immortal and I wasn't; that I had a possible death sentence on my head; that I was absolutely terrified of how much I already cared for her… None of it mattered when she was there because she was all I was able to concentrate on. And I could tell, tell by the emotion swirling in those golden eyes, that something serious was happening, or was going to happen. And I felt dread, settling heavy into my stomach, and I wanted nothing more than to run the hell away from that feeling – as long as she was with me.

"I… God. I have to." She looked torn, but she pulled her arm gently out of my grasp and took a step to the door. Then her eyes glazed over again, and I waited, patiently, even though it was so difficult to not demand answers from her.

A moment later, she came back to herself, and her face was now determined.

"Bella, I am sorry, I am, but… There's something I need to do, ok?" She didn't wait for an answer – instead, she grabbed ahold of my waist and yanked me towards her. I collided with her, hard, the shockwaves more than I was used to, but then her lips were on mine and her hands were buried in my hair, and the brief pain no longer mattered.

There was a desperation to her kiss – one that was much different to the desperation of last night. That had been a desire to get impossibly closer; this was the desire to never let go. And I hated to think it, but the thought crept up on my anyway – it reminded me horribly of the time Edward had kissed me, not knowing when he would see me again. The thought made me sick, but, even as that occurred to me, Alice was pulling away, allowing me to breathe.

"I'll be back," she murmured against my lips, pressing one more, gentle kiss to my lips before taking several steps backwards.

"When?" I asked, my voice unusually small. She didn't look surprised that I'd guessed she was leaving for a seemingly extended period of time.

"I don't know. Hopefully not long. Try not to injure yourself while I'm gone." She managed a slight smile (that again didn't reach her eyes), before she was gone, the door shutting with a soft click behind her. I stood there for a few seconds, staring after her, before there was a knock on the door.

I rushed to get there, even though I knew, knew with certainty, that it wouldn't be her behind the door. I was right – upon wrenching it open, I was a crying Nikki on the other side.

"I changed my mind. I want to stay here." Her voice cracked slightly, and I reached out to drag her inside, somehow managing the feat of hugging her at the same time. I was glad for the interruption – if Nikki were here, it meant I was less likely to swell on Alice's sudden departure. Then the fact that she was crying – Nikki, my stoic best friend, the girl that I'd never ever really seen break down – really sunk in.

"What the hell happened?"