The Pregnancy Ship

Chapter 37 A Not so Difficult Decision

A/N: Hi everyone, I thought I'd finished this story but decided to update it to reflect some of the events that happened in the fifth season. With some differences, obviously. Sharon and Andy are already married and aren't looking for another house and there is no surprise proposal. Just a reminder, the beginning of this, my second multi-chapter story takes place between the fifth episode of Hindsight, the end of the fourth season, and Present Tense the beginning of the fifth season. I padded the time between and added a few cases I created to give Sharon time for the pregnancy, blindness, and birth of the twins. Then she went back to work in time for Present Tense, which happened right after her birthday/vow renewal wedding/Christening party when the twins were entering the last half of their fourth month which made them eleven months by the time this story picks up again.

This chapter of Pregnancy Ship begins after the bomb blasts at the end of season five. In my story, there will be no death other than by mentioning Taylor's old office and Mason revealing himself as his replacement. This is tying up loose ends for Pregnancy Ship, not the beginning of Parenthood Ship (if I choose to write that) the actual time of the year may be different then canon but this is an alternate universe story. This is the next to the last chapter.

Sharon walked through the door of Taylor's old office behind Fritz, her stomach was tied up in knots. She definitely didn't want Taylor's position. In fact, she had put together hers and Andy's retirement paperwork and had handed it in that very morning to the HR department but a small part of her was worried that they would offer her the job and try to persuade her to postpone her retirement. Or like Pope did five years ago flat out refuse to accept her retirement. Yes, it had been merely a ploy to smoke out the leak, but this wasn't a ploy. She was done. Between Andy's mild heart attack last summer after the White Supremacist case and almost being blown to bits by two separate bomb blasts, Sharon had had enough.

Andy had had enough too after he stood rooted to the spot with Rusty and Hobb's in the RACR Room during the first blast, terrified that Sharon, the love of his life, the mother of his twin baby girls, was injured or worse and he was unable to do a thing about it. She thankfully had not been hurt other than a few scrapes and bruises after the first blast. She'd had been sick for several days after the second blast but in all fairness, he had noticed she was coming down with a cold the night of the first bomb blast.

They had been in the car on their way home when Sharon had started to sneeze and cough.

"Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Cough cough cough," she sneezed and coughed her body shaking violently with each sneeze.

Sharon, Honey, Are you okay?" Andy asked concerned.

Unable to stop sneezing and coughing, Sharon had started to shake her head no but then nodded her head as the coughs and sneezes subsided so she was able to speak. "I think I may be catching Madison's and Natalie's cold," she said with a hoarse voice.

"Are you sure? It's a cold and not blast dust in your lungs?" Andy asked.

"No, I've felt off all day. Besides I covered my mouth and nose the minute the bomb went off."

"Maybe not soon enough?" Andy asked-still worried.

"Andy, it's a cold," she said thickly. "The twins are relatively new to daycare and they haven't built up their immunity yet. It'll be like this for awhile, they'll be catching everything going around the daycare until they build up their immunity and so consequently will we."

"Hmmm! Well, that's not good, not good at all," Andy said unnecessarily.

"No, it's not but it's one of those unfortunate realities of having young children in daycare. I'd forgotten what it was like and believe me, it's not fun trying to muddle through the day at work feeling like you've been hit by a truck. Why are you stopping?"

"I'm going in here to get some cold remedies and to stock up on Airborne," he said as he went into the first CVS he came to between the PAB and their house.

"Don't forget I'm limited on what I can take, I'm still nursing," Sharon said and closed her eyes while she waited for him to come back, the girls were already asleep in their car seats in the back seat of their car.

Unfortunately, in spite of feeling poorly, Sharon and Andy had not been able to stay home from work the next day. They still had to find the bomber. So they had left the babies with Andys older daughter Nicole who offered when she heard they were sick. Her boys, Devlin and Ian had already had the current virus going around, having caught it from their schoolmates and she had already had it as well. Ordinarily, the girls would stay with their grandparents on a Sunday their parents had to work ,but Sharon hadn't wanted to expose her aging parents to cold germs , , It would turn out to be a blessing In disguise.

That night while he and Sharon had held their sick baby girls and tried to make them feel better and Sharon as well, he had decided that he needed to retire. He had a feeling Sharon was on the same page, she just hadn't come to grips with it yet but he had noticed how hard it was for her to leave the girls at the daycare every day. He had not mentioned his desire to retire to Sharon until after the second bomb blast that had all but obliterated the eighth and ninth floors of the PAB and everyone on it. Not being close enough to him to grab it away from him, he'd been forced to watch as Christian Ortiz detonated the bomb by calling the prepaid phone in the red suitcase. He'd watched as the eighth and ninth floors exploded in front of him and his chest had become tight and a feeling of rage came over him prompting him to slam his fist into Christian Ortiz's face.

Sharon hadn't spoken much while in the emergency room, while she was getting checked for internal injuries and having her skin abrasions treated. She was released with inhalers and some antibiotics for a sinus infection from her cold, and instructions such as "take it easy for the next couple of days . They checked in with the Provenzas , then walked to their car which was right outside thethe Emergency room doors . Andy helped Sharon ease into the passenger seat and went around to his side. Once they were on the road to their house, Andy broke the silence, "Okay you can yell at me now."

"First of all, I can't yell my throat hurts too much," Sharon said with a weak smile, an attempt at levity that fell flat. Second of all, there is nothing to yell about. You were a hero, Andy. You saved us. If you hadn't done what you did, we would all be dead. I wouldn't have figured out where the bomb was if you hadn't engaged him into a conversation, and got him to reveal information that h... cough... helped me figure it out and um... if I yelled at you, I would have to yell at me too..."

Andys face was a study in consternation. "Why?"

"Andy, you were cleared for field duty this morning, but I got the fax from your doctor in the middle of a crisis situation, and didn't have time to deal with it emotionally or sign off on it. I chose to um... ignore it until things settled down and I could take time to... to... process it."

"So what you're saying is, I wasn't in violation of my desk duty status?" Andy asked to clarify. He wasn't mad, he was relieved.

"Not technically, no. You're off the hook with that one. You may get a slap on the wrist from FID for hitting the suspect , but the truth is, at least half of the people in FID would have liked to stand in line to do the exact same thing, not to mention the rest of the cops at central, at least the ones that had family hurt in those explosions. I'm sorry I didn't tell you Andy, I knew you were itching to get back to field duty but I was scared. Your heart attack scared me to my core, and I wasn't ready to send you back into danger every day .But as it turns out even when we were in the office we were in danger. We could have lost everything, Andy!" She tried to control her panic but failed, "if the girls hadn't been sick or if it had been Monday instead of Sunday, we would have lost them! Andy..."

"Sharon..."

"Have you ever thought that this was a good time to retire?" They asked each other simultaneously.

"Every minute of every day the last several months but never more than standing there watching you be in the middle of two bomb explosions in two days," Andy said.

"Me too, I mean , after being in the middle of two bomb blasts . " Sharon answered him.

"Really?" Andy exclaimed in surprise.

Sharon nodded and coughed a few times, sipped some water and went on to explain her thoughts. "Yes, Andy. When I woke up from being knocked unconscious and Louie reminded me where you were and the girls were with Nicole, I... I can't describe my feelings other than to say. I was so thankful and I promised myself and God that I would retire. I can't say I won't miss it, after all the last few years have been the happiest I've ever been both professionally and personally. I just feel like since we have a second chance at happiness with each other and with the twins. I feel like I need to do what's best for our family. We could have lost our lives and the girls lives and I don't want to take any more chances. Retiring from the LAPD Major Crimes division doesn't mean we have to quit work altogether. You could teach at the academy or do any number of things. For now, I just want to enjoy being a stay at home mom , I didn't get that chance the first time around ,and watch our girls grow up happy healthy and strong with both their parents for as long as we are able. What about you, I thought you'd be like Provenza and die at your desk with a stapler in your hand."

Andy shrugged, "So, did I . I told Provenza, last year that working in Major Crimes was the only place I felt like I belonged but that was before you and the twins. Now I know where I belong, it's with my family. I don't need this job anymore, all I need is you the girls and the rest of the family. So ...we're really going to do this?"

Sharon nodded decisively. "I'll put in the paperwork when I'm cleared to go back to work. Cough, cough, cough."

Sharon had actually started to think about retirement after she had ended up shooting Dwight. Then Andy had had his heart attack and she'd been so consumed with keeping everything as normal as she could for the girls and let's face it herself, that she put any big changes in their lives on the back burner. She'd also wanted to keep Andy's spirits up, by using going back to work as the carrot on the end of the stick, to prod him into working hard at rehab to better his health and his chances, of eventually getting off desk duty. As each case began and were closed, however, each case became another reason to retire. Especially this last case. The case of The LAPD Bomber.

The thoughts that had gone through both of their minds during both the blasts had been of their baby girls, Madison and Natalie. Not to mention Rusty and their other kids. Nicole, Nathan, Emily, and, Ricky all said they would raise the girls with the other siblings help if anything were to happen to Sharon and Andy at the same time but… they weren't their parents! They were young and deserved to be able to have their own lives and not be forced to raise their baby sisters. Sharon and Andy both wanted to raise them themselves, to see their babies grow up and experience all their firsts. Being in not one but two bomb blasts within 24 hours, not to mention Andy's mild but no less scary, heart attack earlier that year., not to mention the shooting in the courtroom which could easily have ended both their lives had really brought home just how dangerous their jobs were becoming. Not that they weren't aware ' of it before , but in the very beginning of their careers, they had been young and had thought of themselves as invincible. In Andy's case, his wife, Sandra had been there for their kids when he had not been able to be. Sharon's early circumstances, i.e an absentee husband had made her more aware of the possibilities of losing her life in her job and had moved to FID where she was hated by the other cops so she could be safe and have more family-friendly hours because she was Emily and Ricky's only reliable parent. Now many years later, having a second chance at parenting late in life had made both Sharon and Andy more aware of their mortality when all the different situations had come up to threaten it.

Sharon was so caught up in her own thoughts she failed to register the sight of Mason in full uniform complete with his Deputy Chief insignia standing before her. When it finally did register, she was relieved, to say the least. She would much rather have seen Fritz in this position, he worked so well with her team but Mason was a close second. Anyone but Winnie Davis or herself.

"It looks like I got the short straw!" He said jovially.

Sharon smiled joyously, happy for him as well as relieved for herself. She reached out to shake his hand.

"Congratulations, Leo. It was an excellent choice, an absolutely excellent choice," Sharon said. "Would it be out of line to say how relieved I am?" She asked sheepishly.

Mason agreed with her, "No, not at all."

Fritz smiled too, happy he was off the hook as well. Wanting to give them privacy, he expressed his happiness so he could bow out of their conversation. "Well, I couldn't be happier. Thanks for letting me keep my office at Piper Tech, where I'll be going now. Congrats to you too, Sharon!" Fritz said. Sharon looked at him with a puzzled look on her face. Fritz just smiled mysteriously and closed the door.

"So, Commander Raydor-Flynn, have a seat," Mason said indicating the chair in front of his desk

Sharon started to sit but then, the realization that he had called her Commander made her pause. "Commander?"

"Yes, Commander! After what you did last weekend, saving hundreds of policemen and women, me included, by the way; not to mention civilians from being blown to bits. With your performance over the last five years since you took over Major Crimes, you've more than earned the title and everything that goes with it."

"I couldn't have done it without my team, Sir, especially, Andy. He was the hero." Sharon made sure he understood that important point.

He agreed, "Yes, he was a hero, but you have a huge piece of that too. He was a rogue detective before you came to the picture. Now, most of time he's a rule follower like you. He didn't exactly follow the rules last Sunday but that turned out to be a good thing."

"Yes, it was. I wouldn't have figured out where the bomb was if not for Andy."

"You're his commanding officer and you've really turned him around, you've even turned Julio and Provenza around . Even Brenda Leigh Johnson couldn't do that. You made them want to follow the rules. They love you, Sharon and they'd take a bullet for you, each and every one of them."

"Well, in Brenda 's and their defense, in spite of that or because of it, they closed a lot of cases . She's a bit of a rogue herself and they were loyal to her as well."

"Yes, then enough of that, let's get down to the reason you are here." Mason handed her the box that held the Commanders stars and watched as she opened it. "Oh, my God! Oh, dear! I'd… I'd completely let go of this, I didn't think I would ever get these." Sharon sighed, at one time reaching the rank of Commander would have been the culmination of all her dreams, what she had strived for most of her adult career. Except now, her life was fuller and happier than it had ever been. She handed back the box with the Commander stars. "Um… thank you, Chief but… I… I can't… accept them."

"Why not?" Asked Mason surprised.

Solemnly she explained, "Because Chief, I put in mine and Andy's retirement paperwork just this morning effective two weeks from today."

"Oh, I know that. I've got the papers right here. What does retiring have to do with whether you accept your Commander stars or not?" he asked confused.

"Chief, you and I both know that in order for me to accept this promotion I'd have to work as a Commander for at least two years and I'd have to change departments. I'm not prepared to do either one of those . " Determined to get him to understand that they were serious about leaving the LAPD she said, "Andy and I have decided we need to retire as of two weeks from now and that is non-negotiable."

Mason looked at her with a mild look on his face. He didn't seem the least perturbed by her refusal to accept the Commanders stars. Sharon looked at him wondering what he was up to. She decided to appeal to him as a friend. "Leo, as you are aware Andy and I have young children who are under the age of one, we almost made them orphans last week and what's worse, if it had been a Monday instead of Sunday we would have lost them! The daycare was completely destroyed by the bomb. It was by the Grace of God this happened on the weekend, so that no babies or children or daycare workers were there that day. We can't afford to take any more chances with our daughters lives or our own. They need us and we need them! We decided that it's time we retire so our lives aren't in danger anymore. Not to mention that Andy doesn't need the stress. He had that heart attack right after the white Supremacist case."

Mason held up his hand to stop her explanation and say calmly, "I'm aware. Look, Sharon, the Commander stars are yours whether not you retire…"

She started to interrupt but he put a hand up again to stop her and so that he could explain his reasoning. "While cleaning out this desk to make it mine, I found a journal that Taylor wrote it turned out to be partially a work journal and partially a private journal and so, in an effort to familiarize myself with everything, I read it. In it he mentioned that he purposely blocked the promotion Pope promised you. He wrote that he was intimidated by you (not in those words exactly , but close enough , and felt he needed a higher rank than you in order to be an effective boss. So he manipulated Pope into delaying your promotion back when they brought you over to Major Crimes. Pope was a bit distracted by the myriad of responsibilities he was faced with so, he didn't think too hard on it but since you've been with Major Crimes you have made them both look good, you've saved the department, hell you've saved the entire LAPD countless times! You saved them a great deal of money and turned your rogue detectives into exemplary cops and closed hundreds of cases. Some that others weren't able to figure out, like that Dunn case. Not to mention you saved many lives during the white supremacist case just a couple of months after you came back from a long maternity leave. Then there was last weekend. Taylor hadn't counted on you being so good at your job,that you would even have a positive effect on him and Pope and that holding back your promotion, one you more than deserved from the get-go, would weigh on their conscience to the point that Taylor would convince Pope to not only to give you that promotion but make it retroactive, dating back to the day Pope promised you the promotion, complete with back pay. So effectively, you've fulfilled both requirements. You've worked," he made air quotes, "in the capacity of Commander for five years and you changed departments from FID to Major Crimes at that time, fulfilling both requirements."

Hearing that Taylor had done this made Sharon both angry and vindicated and a little bit uncomfortable, she almost felt dishonest. Before Rusty than Andy and now the girls came into her life, Sharon had the ability to cover her emotions with a proverbial mask but not anymore. Now that her emotional walls had been breached, she had a glass face at times. Mason could read her uncertainty and addressed it. "Sharon, you helped write the rules when you were in FID and Professional Standards. You were promised that promotion, were you not?" His eyebrows rose in question .

Sharon nodded , and he went on with what he had to say

"You'd passed the test with flying colors but there was a promotion freeze at that time. Now that the freeze is over they were going to make good on their promise. Albeit, several years late. Taylor was going to tell you the day he died and then when he was killed, the whole race for the Deputy Chiefs position came up. In any case, in answer to your concerns, it's LAPD policy, so you are free to accept these stars as your due."

"You're not planning on trying to talk me out of my retirement?" Sharon asked, puzzled. Not sure whether to be happy he wasn't putting the screws on her to abandon her retirement plans or insulted that he didn't seem upset that she wanted to retire.

"Commander…" He corrected himself, "Sharon. There's no denying that I'd like you to stay, it would be an honor to have a chance to work with you. It would also make my job a bit easier if I knew you were there as a safety net, someone I could rely on to keep me from making too many mistakes. However, I realize that your focus is not solely on the job anymore. Your life has expanded to include your husband, infant daughters, your son, Rusty, and I believe that I heard your other children have come back to California, to live near you. Your aging parents are close by as well. That is as it should be. If you were to stay, your job would be harder than it has been up till now, more complicated and would require you to devote a great deal more time to it than you'd be willing to do. The reasons for your retirement, states that you would like to have the time to devote to your new family, your second chance at happiness, is how you put it. The job from here out, although I have no doubt in my mind you could do it and do it better than anyone, would not allow you to have the family life you crave. You have not only earned it you deserve to have every happiness, after all that you've given to the department and all that you've experienced over the years. So, no I will not get in the way of your retirement, I will ask you to train your successor, however."

Sharon paused a moment. "Well, that depends. It's not Winnie Davis is it?"

Mason laughed. "No, absolutely not. Her name is Olivia Bennett. She came here recently from the NYPD, where she put in thirty years. She's been helping us to put together an SVU team here in LA. She's done an exemplary job in New York and here. She's saved a lot of children from sexual abuse. She wants to stay here permanently. She feels she needs to have a change of scenery. Some bad things happened back east, she lost a lot of people in her division. Good friends and comrades."

"She's… an outsider, why not choose someone from here in LA? It doesn't bother me however, it may bother some of the people that she will be… um… commanding," Sharon asked.

"There is no one here in LA that has her years of experience or her rank. Most of the older cops have retired, the LAPD is mostly younger now . Olivia just made Captain 3rd grade your rank until… just now. Unless you count Winnie Davis that is." Sharon tried not to shudder at the thought of Winnie Davis taking over Major Crimes but didn't quite accomplish it. Seeing her reaction Mason smiled. "Yeah, my sentiments exactly. No, Winnie Davis is not going to be taking over Major Crimes. She's been demoted and sent to Palmdale."

"Demoted! Wow! I hadn't heard that" Sharon said, stunned.

"Yeah, Pope demoted her, not once but twice. She has been bumped down to Captain. He called her into his office to reprimand her for interfering in your investigation and to inform her that she would be taking Fritz's place at the seminar. She got angry and mouthed off to Pope about how he always favored Major Crimes over the other divisions and encouraged unprofessional behavior by his subordinates. Hmmm, a case of the pot calling the kettle black, I think… but I digress." Mason tried to keep his voice serious as he explained, "So he demoted her down to Commander. She lost it completely then, instead of apologizing she went the other way, accusing him of having the hots for you like he did for Brenda. You are married but that hasn't stopped him before. She said some derogatory things about you and your life choices as well and went on to complain of various other choices he had made in his professional capacity. So he demoted her to Captain. Then he banished her to Palmdale for the foreseeable future."

Sharon's eyes were huge in her face, not sure whether to be horrified or amused by the idea that Winnie Davis had accused the Chief of police, William Henry Pope of showing favoritism for Major Crimes and having feelings for her, Sharon Raydor-Flynn giving her special treatment because of those feelings. 'She said this to his face!?" Sharon asked incredulously.

Mason nodded with amusement. Sharon shook her head, for a moment then smiled ironically at him, but didn't comment any further. Mason acknowledged her smile with his own and went back to the subject at hand. "I have complete faith that Olivia Bennett will be a good fit. She's not you, but she's close. She really just needs to be shown the administrative part of her job as we do it. Help her to learn to be conservative in the spending department, show her the ropes, and help her learn the paperwork. Again, the way we do it. She's well versed in the way everything is done in New York, she just needs to learn our way of doing things. Get her introduced to your team and familiarize her with the parameters that make a crime belong to Major Crimes."

"If I do this, I will be staying in-house and doing the administrative end of the teaching? I haven't been cleared medically or by behavioral sciences , for field duty as yet and I probably won't be before I retire," Sharon said to clarify what he needed from her and remind him of her current status.

"Yes, no problem. Olivia has plenty of experience in the field. She's got excellent detecting instincts. She knows how to command a team. She just needs to learn our way and she needs to learn about the administrative part of the job. Actually, she reminds me a lot of you."

"Me? How so?" She questioned.

"She commands with authority, she's tough but can be tender as well. She's a badass and is an excellent shot. Provenza would like her. I think you will too."

Sharon chuckled at his use of the word badass but didn't comment directly about it. "She must be something if you think Provenza would like her. He doesn't like anybody. It took him three years to warm up to me but that's a moot point since Provenza is retired," she said sadly. Provenza had come back part-time after his and Patrice's twins, Mikey and Kayla got a little older, and Kayla was healthier. It was one of his days on duty, that the bombs went off. With the first one he only got a few bruises, like her, the second one had caused him to develop a moderate case of COPD. He was now hooked to an oxygen machine 24/7. Either a stationary one at home or one he carried around when he went out. It limited his activity a bit more than he liked but he was grateful to be alive to see his babies grow up.

Mason nodded gravely. "How is the old coot?"

Sharon smiled fondly as she thought of her second-in-command. "He's mostly his usual grumpy self but Andy and I, our girls, and Rusty go visit them so that he can watch Nat and Maddie, Mikey, and Kayla play together. Louie loves to watch them interact. It makes him smile." Sharon bowed her head and blinked back a few tears thinking about Louie. They had come such a long way, from adversaries to truly good friends that could rely on each other. He had been the one who had helped her become re-oriented to what was going on when she came to after the second bombing, nearly hysterical because at first, she hadn't remembered where Andy was or that their girls were at home sick and not blown to bits in the daycare that had been destroyed. He had handed her the phone when Andy had called from across the street. He had held her hand, for his sake as well as her own while they were both examined by the EMT's. He had given her his phone and asked her to call Patrice as he was loaded onto the ambulance.

Sharon had spent the evening in the emergency room but they hadn't kept her overnight. They had given her inhalers and told her to use humidifiers and to try to cough up as much gunk as she could. They had kept Louie for a week. She had had the presence of mind to pull off her jacket and to cover her mouth and nose to keep from breathing blast dust into her lungs as she was running from the bomb but it hadn't helped much when she had been thrown to the ground and knocked out for a bit. So she still struggled a bit with congestion.

Mason picked up the stars and handed them back to Sharon. He then stood up and saluted her. "Thank you for your service, Commander." Sharon saluted him back and turned to leave. "Um Sharon, have you any plans for your retirement, I mean besides raising the girls? You're still relatively young to be retiring and I was thinking that when you are ready, you might consider another maybe part-time career?"

She sighed, Sharon wasn't really ready to stop work altogether but she wanted to spend as much time as possible with her's and Andy's twins . "I think that raising twin girls will keep me quite busy for awhile, Chief, however, I am trying to come up with ideas for when they are older and in preschool. Do you have any?"

He was happy that Sharon was even willing to hear him out. "We could use you and Andy at the Police Academy teaching new recruits how to be the best police officers they can be. A couple of days a week?"

"Well, I can't speak for Andy officially ,Chief , but I think he'd like that a lot. I'll tell him to talk to you. As for me, I think I'd like to enjoy my daughters babyhood or what's left of it for a while. So far I haven't missed any of their major firsts and I'd like to not miss any of them. I had to go to work when both my older kids were six-weeks-old and I missed many of their firsts. I have a second chance and I'd like to enjoy it while it lasts. Perhaps I'll revisit the idea when they reach nursery school age. Or… maybe I'll be stir crazy by the end of the year and take you up on the offer sooner." She shrugged her shoulders, "I'll let you know. Speaking of the girls, they will be one in December, which is next month, December 19th. We're planning on having a party for them at our house. You're invited if you like."

"Thank you, I'll try to stop by, although I can't promise anything. This job carries a lot of responsibility," he said ruefully.

She nodded saying, "Understood. Thank you, Chief for my Commander stars and status. I can't tell you how much it means to me to finally have them…"

"As I said before, you earned them and you more than deserve them. While I'm glad I was the one to give them to you, I'm sorry that you didn't receive them right when you were promised them."

"Actually, Chief, I think that I received them right when I was supposed to. I mean, receiving them after I had let it go made finally receiving them that much more… satisfying."

Impressed, Mason said, "You are an amazing lady, Commander Raydor-Flynn."

Sharon smiled and placing her fingers together in a prayer-like fashion she bowed ever so slightly, then straightening, she turned and walked out the door.

TBC...

Thank you for the reviews, follows, and favorites they are truly appreciated. Reviews really do help keep the motivation flowing.