A/N: Ok, folks asked for a continuation of this story. Well, here it is. I hope you enjoy this angsty ride.
I am a man.
A red-blooded all around man. Yeah, it's cliche but it's the truth. Small town boy of hardworking parents who put me through college by saving every penny. Getting my degree in Engineering was the proudest moment in their lives, next to me and my brother James's birth. I did all of the things society and my folks expected of me. I got a job right out of college. I was ...well I still am successful in my field. My life is perfect on the outside, but it is a giant clusterfuck on the inside.
Every morning there is an imposter who stares back at me. His face looks like mine, same eyes and salt & pepper beard but I know he is not me. The put together piece of work named Rick Grimes hasn't arrived yet. This man before me now with his sullen face and blank eyes. This man is just an empty shell. No heart that beats or lungs that breathe.
"Good Morning baby."
She hugs me from behind resting her chin on my shoulder. She sees the man in the mirror and worry descends onto her face.
"Are you still not sleeping?"
I don't answer. I can't because if I do my tongue will betray me. It will speak my truth. It will reveal that my sleepless nights are due to my love leaving me... running away from me.
She sighs but the hint of annoyance at my refusal to speak or even acknowledge my problem is there. It hovers behind her perfect white teeth and minty breath.
I don't see her leave it's only after the sound of the door closing do I break from my stupor.
They say we are meant to be with a person for a season, a reason, or a lifetime. She is my wife. A role that she has had for these last eight years but Lori is just a reason. She is the reason I have the type of job that I do. The reason we live where we live.
But the reason for our marriage to remain has passed. We are a charade of characters playing a part for an audience that doesn't care. I can't play this part anymore. There is no longer any longing or desire in my words when I say I love you. Lori, she is not my lifetime.
Michonne. Michonne is my lifetime.
I never intended for Michonne and me to carry on as we did, but fate sometimes puts the love of your life in your life at the wrong time.
The cafe was fairly empty only a few patrons waiting in line while others sat comfortably with their heads buried in a book or electronic device. I knew who she was. I recognized her from other assorted company get-togethers but never did I engage her. My attention was always diverted to a newbie in the company. She always looked stunning and well put together. On the day that fate knocked on our doors, she was dressed comfortably in black workout tights with an oversized Brown University top that hung off her creamy shoulders. She was reading Zora Neale Hurston. I remember this because I bought a copy of the book that day and read it so we could have something to talk about on the off chance we met again. I approached cautiously. I didn't want to creep her out or scare her, but when she looked at me, I saw the recognition in her eyes. I was invited to join her over a cup of coffee. My fate was sealed from that day forth.
I've asked for divine guidance but never received an answer. No, that's not entirely true I was answered, but it came in the form of weekly cups of coffee together that soon turned into daily conversations... friendly conversations about work and life. I always waited anxiously for her to arrive in our special booth away from the noise of others. The cacophony of the bustling coffeehouse mutes every time she slides into the highback booth. Her dazzling smile greets me, its brilliance always wiping the trials of my day away. Even in the short period of time that we knew each other, I knew I had changed for the better. My drive home usually clouded with bleak thoughts of the day were now lively with reflections of this magnificent woman who was complex but still simple, refined yet down to earth.
She is dark, tawny, and mocha, all of the colors of the world that describe her flawless beauty. Not flawless as in unflawed but flawless as I see her.
We fought the good fight of denying what we were both feeling. Her life had become monotonous, mine had become the dream of another. We each sought our individual self, but the ones who we needed most to listen to us didn't. So we turned to each other to find solace. I was her journal in which she spoke her dreams and further aspirations into. I was her comforter when the stresses of her day fell on deaf ears at home. She was my tongue when I couldn't express myself being a man of few words. She helped me put into words the deep seated fears that I could only admit to myself under cover of darkness. To say out loud that what was supposed to be my dream, supposed to have everything that I wanted in life… what were supposed to be my life goals… that had all changed… and if I were really honest with myself was never real to me to begin with. It had always been some farce… some pantomime with me as the reluctant star and my wife as the willing leading lady. The role she had been born to play, whether it was for me or for any successful man that could provide her with the life she thought she was born to live remained the question that Michonne had already answered.
We strolled side by side along the hiking path our feet crunching under the fallen oak leaves. This was the usual route that we took when we wanted to get away to talk uninterrupted. Our coffee shop talks soon drew some unwanted attention from fellow coworkers and friends who would come and join in our conversation.
It was dusk out, the sun was descending behind thick grey clouds bathing the sky in saturation of dark oranges mixed with goldish yellows. Fall was approaching which meant there was a chill in the air, Michonne hugged her body close to mine for warmth. Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her into me. We walked along in silence just enjoying the sounds of nature as the evening creatures sprang to life.
Excuses were given to our spouses so we could have this small moment together. My late nights at the office working on a nonexistent project. Hers an impromptu happy hour with friends. Each untruth repeated smoothly without deception. We have become proficient liars. The lies aren't necessary, but we say them to conceal our reward of being with each other. No harm if the truth of our lie succeeds at remaining hidden.
"It will be winter soon," she said sliding her arm around my back. This was the closest we had ever been to each other physically since we began this delicate mutual friendship.
"Uhm hmm." I couldn't say anything else I was too enraptured by the feel of her next to me. It was just like in my dreams. She smelled of a delicate fruity scent. Taking advantage of our considerable height difference, I leaned my head drawing my chin across the top of her hair. My coarse stubble mingling with her thick mane of braids. The scent of her shampoo and hair oil tickle my nose. I knew this scent well I had smelled it every time we were close, but now I could inhale it deeply.
"What are you doing?" she laughed pulling her head away from my silly act.
"I want to remember everything about you and this moment."
She craned her head back making eye contact her forehead wrinkling at my statement "But won't you see me tomorrow?"
"Yes, but it won't be the same as today, right at this moment." I placed a light kiss on her forehead feeling the tension smooth away.
As we continued along the trail, we passed an elderly couple who were resting on one of the iron wrought bench seats that were along the path. Seeing the couple, I could feel Michonne begin to pull away from my grasp. I held her firmly in place my hand resting on top of her hip. "It's ok," I whispered. The elderly wife smiled brightly at us as she commented about how we were a beautiful couple. We both smiled politely thanking her as we continued on.
We exited the trail walking towards the somewhat empty parking lot. The parking lot lights flickered on as the last glow of the sun sunk into the horizon. We approached our vehicles arriving at mine first. Michonne was parked further into the parking lot although many people were milling about I wasn't ready for our evening to end.
"Let me drive you to your car."
I see her glancing down the parking lot to where her car was parked. It was a short walk, but she could sense my want to continue this encounter for as long as possible. She nods. I place my hand on her lower back guiding her to the passenger side. I hold the door open for her as she sets her foot on the side step pulling herself into my truck. Once we both are secured in the vehicle, I turn my head towards her seeing her gazing out the window her hands clasped in her lap. Her dark features look angelic against the backdrop of the bright lot.
I reach out lightly pulling her hand from her lap. She followed my movement hesitantly letting her eyes travel up the length of my arm stopping at my lips before finally meeting my eyes. I smirked at her unabashed staring. At least we were thinking about the same thing.
"I enjoyed tonight," I said honestly.
"So did I."
I pull her hand to my lips kissing her knuckles. I hear her shuddering intake of breath. I can see the desirous look in her eyes. She was ready to risk crossing that fine line between friends to lovers with me. Unlatching my seatbelt, I tilt over the center console placing my hand behind her head pulling her towards me. The brush of her soft lips against mine was electrifying. I became lightheaded from the sweet taste of her mouth. Her luscious lips tasted like fresh summer fruit. I nibbled the plump flesh. My tongue delved into her warm mouth as she replied with the same intensity. I unlatched her seatbelt freeing her from it confines pulling her body as close as the limited space would allow. I had to have more of her... and now. Breaking the kiss for just a moment we both breathlessly contemplate each other. My eyes studying her gorgeous features. Her oval shaped face, striking cheekbones, full nose, and lips. She is radiating beauty, and I want to stay within her illumination.
"Come here," I growl while sliding my seat back as far as it could go inclining it back. Michonne slides her slim figure over the center mount planting herself onto my lap. We stare at one another only for a moment before colliding our mouths and body together. The world carried on around us no one paying attention to the fogged up windows on my black pickup. We were left undisturbed as we found our first of many climaxes that evening.
I fell in love with little provocation. Love chipped away at my carapace every time we were together. I died a little bit each and every time. These little deaths stripping away more and more of my supposed self the more I got to know Michonne. My first death was the first time we kissed. It was so chaste, so innocent, it was a thank you, but my mind replayed the feel of her lips on my clean shaven face over and over. The smell of her sweet breath followed me home. The phantom aroma seizing me at the most inconspicuous moment.
I lived in each moment we shared. Each moment a little death, each in the same ecstasy, the same peace I found when we were together. This was no passing encounter that held no substance. This was mature, thought out and weighty. Weighty with the stress and guilt that comes with loving another.
I was not on the prowl or the hunt. I never took pleasure in knowing the pain she was going through. Her pain was mine as well.
At night I dreamt of her as my wife slept next to me. My cock swelling from the vivid images of Michonne on top riding me. Her beautiful skin shining from the exertion of our lovemaking. I call it lovemaking because fucking is too vulgar of a word to describe how it feels. Every time I slid into her awaiting delta my soul sang. The tone is mezzo-soprano the melodious song lifts me as I bury myself as deeply as I can possibly go. I can only throw my head back in ovation to this union. As the glory dies down, I am left with the sweetest inflection of them all. Her voice. Michonne is vocal... oh so vocal. Her voice hums in the darkened room we occupy. I join her in this harmony.
" I love you," she whispers.
I don't waver in my thrusts. I hear her, but I can't repeat those words... not yet. It's not the right time. My eyes bore into her bright brown orbs. I know she can see me screaming those three little words to her. No, they aren't little words they are everything. Wars have been fought over love, and in this very moment, I would stand in front of a tank for her love. I can't help the deep groan that pulls from my chest. I lean my weight onto her body while capturing her mouth encasing her completely under the weight of my body. I grind into her rotating my hips to hit that sweet spot of nerves. I swallow her pleasure taking it into me as if i was taking a part of her with me. She wraps her long thick legs around my waist her heels digging into my lower back guiding me forward as I plunge in and out of her. The quiver is first then the undulation of her walls as she milks my cock. Her pearly wetness drenching us both. I release her lips to let her melody float in the room. I hide my face in her neck, sweat soaking the pillow. I whisper her name in her ear.
"Michonne… stay with me." My voice is choked with emotion as I rut into her. My arms hold her in place as I drive into her, my feet pushing the burdensome sheets onto the floor. I need to know that she understands what I am saying. She has to understand how am feeling. This is beyond a trite declaration of love. This is wanton desperation that I show rather than voice. Does she hear? Please let her hear me.
"I am with you… I will always be with you," she pants. My body shivers as I release into her my feelings a wet explosion that I couldn't express verbally but spilled forth in the form of my seed.
After months of coffee, texting, and secluded walks. We grew frustrated with quick trysts in the car. The small moments together was always rushed and dangerous. I wanted to have an entire day with her all to myself with no interruptions or rushing back home. The opportunity arose when I had to travel to Houston for four days for an engineering conference. I invited Michonne to travel with me it was a four-day company paid business trip. I never made it to any of the information sessions at the conference.
That weekend together was the catalyst to us planning rendezvous to different cities once or twice a month. Getting away gave us the chance to lock the world away and focus on each other. We made sweet love in the morning after a breakfast of french toast, eggs, and ham. Afternoon love against the wall after a hearty lunch. We would go well into the night remaining between the sheets. Our love kept us safe within those four walls.
I am in love. A married man in love with someone who was so different from Lori. When you are in love, all bets go out of the window. You are now an open book to that person. You no longer deny your true self. Your heart takes hold making you bolder and reckless. Reckless to the point you are enjoying each other in a hallway bathroom of your home while your spouses are in the next room over.
"Is Michonne ok?" Lori asks me as she sips her flute of champagne.
"Yeah, she wasn't feeling well."
"Maybe a bit of jet lag."
"Maybe." It's not jet lag its guilt and doubt revealing their ugly heads. Her tears are still moist on my collar.
"Well, I see that Philip is unaware, but I'm not surprised. Come on, Eugene and Jessie have finally made it. If you get this deal, it will keep you in Phillips good graces."
I sigh inwardly. I would rather bang my head against a wall than listen to someone speak about nothing. I see Michonne out of the corner of my eye enter the room. Any signs of our brief coitus were nowhere to be seen. The taste and heady smell of her embedded in my still moist beard. Our eye contact was the briefest of briefs as she sauntered to her husband's side.
The announcement came with hardly any fanfare. Governor Drilling would be going international. This business move was the topic of discussion within the company for years, but now it was cemented in place.
She left without a word. My calls go straight to voicemail. Message undeliverable stared back at me as I frantically text her begging her to stay with me. Telling her, I can't lose her. But it's too late.
My soul fell into a nothingness that left me numb and unmoving. A field of memories is all that is left. I wander aimlessly through the darkened fields. Searching and replaying every encounter we ever had. Every whispered word. Every frenzied, rapturous moment. I dream that she comes back to me to resurrect me and bring me back to her.
Michonne PoV
The excitement of the new city and country occupied my thoughts for the first 2 weeks while Philip was off securing lucrative oil well drilling contracts. I toured the city delighting in the vivid color and smells. But this city was full of lovers, couples young and old. My ears would perk up at the sound of a thick southern American drawl. I would hear it above the clamor of the market sometimes forcing me to backtrack my steps to find the owner. He wouldn't travel this far for me. Would he? I would stroll among the many shops searching for the sound and the owner. The voice always belonged to another.
I tell myself that he is gone, but I can still feel him with me. His arms enveloping me in his strong embrace. The ethereal graze of his hand as he wipes away my silent tears. He is still holding onto me even from thousands of miles away.
The best wishes bouquet arrived a week after our arrival. Full of daffodils, gardenia, and jasmine. A bouquet of love with best wishes signed on the card x Rick. The x is a kiss on paper, but inside my mind, it's his warm breath coasting over my ear as he takes my lower lobe into his warm mouth. The shiver is intense. The flutter of my stomach and delta pronounced.
On week three I turn my personal phone back on for the first time since we arrived. I wanted to avoid the calls and messages that I knew would be waiting for me. I wasn't ready to face the pain that I may have caused with my abrupt departure. No goodbye. No, see you soon. Just me boarding a plane in the early morning hours. I never looked back as I crossed the gangway or when we were taxiing down the runway because I knew if I did my resolve would have broken and I would have stayed.
1st Message August 15, 2018, 08:15 a.m
"Chonne...please tell me you didn't get on that plane. Call me back...please.
2nd Message August 15, 2018, 10:30 a.m
"Rosita at the office said that you left this morning with Philip. Why did you leave like that? I really need you to call me back so we can talk. Please, Chonne call me back."
3rd Message August 15, 2018, 05:00 p.m
{voice strained, thick with emotion}
"You have me blocked... so you don't want to speak to me...not even once Chonne? This hurts Chonne...My god why didn't you say something...you could have given me at least one day...just one day to say goodbye.
4th Message August 15, 2018, 9:36 p.m
"Michonne please come back… give me one more day please...we can do anything you want … go anywhere you want...I...I just need another day...Please let me have it...just one day. I love you {crying uncontrollably}
I deleted the rest along with the numerous text messages. I laid in my bed my body curled around my pillow hugging it tightly to my chest hating myself for listening to messages and for not making things right with him before I left but it was the right thing to do. Right. The sound of his sobs cut me deep like a jagged knife twisting my insides.
When you have been stripped bare of all the things your soul holds dear. When love has taken away what you treasure. You stand exposed to the world for all to see. No makeup can hide this pain. I weep during the night for the first time since I've been here. I pray that my heart will mend, but it's in bits and pieces, shattered fragments cutting new wounds.
"Michonne, are you happy here?"
"I'm still adjusting to how different things are here."
"Do you miss Kings County?" He strokes my back lovingly as I lay upon his chest.
"Sometimes."
"Only sometimes. I'm sure Andrea misses her shopping buddy." His chest rumbles with the small laugh. I smile slightly at the little ribbing.
"Maybe." I pull away from his embrace as deep cerulean eyes stare back at me behind my closed eyelids.
He follows my movements changing his position in the bed as I turn my back to him. He molds his body to mine, but the fit is not right. It never was.
"I've seen the light fading from you, and I know it's because you're homesick. I still have at least another 2 months here until everything is finalized. You still have your work waiting for you. I won't be upset if you want to go back home."
I don't answer as I pull the covers over my body wrapping myself in the warmth and solace. It seems love has heard my woe.
Ricks POV
Fate has given me another chance at my love. The text message came through at 2 a.m. I was wide awake. My sleepless nights were now commonplace. The message was brief, but I could have whooped excitedly in the silent empty house. Lori is away at her sisters. We are on a small permanent break from each other.
My plane lands tomorrow at 10 am. I'm coming home. Will you pick me up?
My fingers now all thumbs jumble my reply. I want to tell Michonne how much I missed her and can't wait to see her. I delete the desperate message and retype it keeping it uncomplicated.
I will be there.
Michonne PoV
He is waiting for me in a dark blue suit. The color highlighting the mesmerizing effect of his beautiful eyes. He has a small bouquet of flowers for me. My favorite peony blossoms light pink to deep maroon colors. I accept them graciously giving him a chaste kiss for his thoughtfulness.
The ride to my home was quiet. Only the sound of the tires on the highway filled the cab of the car. I break the silence with a declaration.
"I'm leaving Philip." He says nothing. No outward reaction he remains balanced as he moves about traffic. I worry that things have changed in my short time away. I turn from him to stare out the window at the passing views.
"I'm leaving Lori. Well, she has already left."
He takes the next exit. I know this route well. He is taking us back to where it all started.
Ricks PoV
I take us to the coffeehouse where we first met. I hold her hand as we sit quietly in each other's presence. I grasp it firmly grounding us both to the leather booth seats. She looks at me with her brown eyes puffy and tired. I can see the love floating in the orbs of her eyes. I must feel her somehow. I am desperate to reconnect with her. Sensing my need, she places her hand against my cheek her thumb slowly stroking the side of my cheek. I sigh deeply leaning my weary face into her soft, warm hand. Hands that smell of cocoa butter and the cinnamon almond milk of her coffee. I felt breathless at that moment. All was how it should be. My heart swelling in my chest as I felt the first compression of my heart springing to life. I was whole again and it was because love returned to me.
"You look tired. Have you been sleeping?"
"Not a wink since you left."
She chuckles her eyes lightly misting "Not a wink huh."
"Not one." I kiss the inside of her palm. Pulling her hand back into mine. The abiding warmth of our love flowing between us. Our intense connection binding us together again.
A/N: And that is the end of this short love affair story. I hope you have enjoyed this. I want to thank everyone who reached out, commented, followed, favorited and silently read this story. It was a journey for me and thank you for rolling with me.