6 Years before cylon attack*
William Adama age 58
Location: Tauron Regional Space Extreme Range – Battlestar Valkyrie
"How long's it been?" asked Adama as Danny settled into one of the chairs in his quarters.
"Five? No, six, six years." Danny seemed so much older than that, but grief and time apart had aged them both. "Ever since that night at Morrigan's, before Alexa…"
"She was a damn good pilot. Twice as good as you, three times crazier than all of us combined." Adama smiled briefly at the memory.
Danny shook his head. "I don't know about that. This mission, it'd be out on the edge, even for her. Poking our noses into Cylon territory, violating the Armistice… It's insane. I thought you were done with this kind of stuff."
"You know the Admiralty," replied Adama. "Edington, Farro, Corman, they were all in on this one. To them, once you're in, there's no such thing as being done and they made it clear they were gonna do this no matter what I said. Better me than some hothead who might frak us all if something goes wrong. I know you gave up ops like this after what happened to Alexa, and I tried to think of somebody else, but—"
"I understand why you asked. I wouldn't have said yes otherwise."
"It's not too late to turn back on this one."
"When your commander says go, you go. That hasn't changed for either of us. I'm still in it to the end, Bill. I always was."
-x-
"Stealthstar, Valkyrie. We register you o n Dradis, just past the Armistice line. You're o n full alert. Proceed with caution."
Ever since Danny had left the launch tube, Adama's eyes had remained fixed on the Dradis screen above him. Even when he blinked, the red stripe of the Armistice Line was burned across his vision and he had to fight the urge to hold his breath as he waited for Danny to report.
"Valkyrie, Bulldog. I'm exactly two klicks past the line. Repeat, two klicks, and I've got negative Dradis contact."
Relieved, Adama finally let his gaze drop. So far so good.
"There's nothing here, sir…"
No Tylium refineries, no hidden shipyards, or weapons manufacturing facilities or other signs of a Cylon build up on the border as the Admiralty had feared; nothing. Good. Now I can tell Corman I did the job and we can get out of here.
"…Helluva moon."
Before he could order Danny to finish with the surveillance and return, Lieutenant Mercer called out a positive contact.
"Dradis contact! Unknown vessel just jumped in."
Adama's gaze snapped back to the Dradis console and his breath caught in his throat as the wireless erupted in a burst of static. What have I done?
"Frak! Krypter krypter krypter, I've got damage to the port engine. Bird is down, repeat bird is down. Request rescue. Krypter krypter krypter. This is Bulldog."
"Vessel just jumped out, sir."
He had to get Danny out of there before—
"Two more Dradis contacts. Sir, please instruct."
Too late.
The sound of Danny's calls for help, the demands from the lieutenant for orders, they all faded into the background. His every instinct screamed at him to defend his man, to bring Danny back home no matter the cost. But it wasn't his career that would suffer or his life that would be over if he risked a fight to rescue his friend, it would be the people of the Colonies who suffered. It would be Carolanne and Lee and Zak.
He reached down for the phone, and his fingers wrapped around the cool plastic, but he couldn't give the order, not yet.
Saul's voice cut through his paralysis.
"Don't do this. Think about it, Bill. You don't wanna do this."
"Do you want his ship discovered? Do you know where we are? Do you have any idea what this could mean?" He wanted to plead, give me an alternative, Saul. Anything. Tell me what other choice do I have?
There was none. He knew.
"Bogies o n intercept course. Will merge with Stealthstar in 20 seconds. Sir?"
If I don't let go…I'll never survive.
He picked up the phone and gave the order.
"Weapons, launch ship-to-ship missile. Now." He watched the Dradis until the Stealthstar'sicon winked out.
The CIC was silent except for the steady pulse of the combat alarms and the Dradis.
"Lieutenant Mercer," said Adama quietly, "confirm target status."
"Confirmed. Target destroyed, sir." William strained not to flinch at the words.
"Unknown contacts have altered course to bearing seven four nine and will intercept Armistice Line in one minute."
Adama knew that the Cylons—if that's what they were—probably wouldn't cross the line, but it might not stop them from firing some missiles of their own and certainly wouldn't prevent them from gathering what intelligence they could on Valkyrie.
"Jump us outta here." He leaned on the command console and bowed his head while the crew ran through the countdown procedure.
I'm sorry Danny.
-xxx-
The moment he was safely in his quarters, Adama started unbuttoning his jacket and cast it off on the floor. Then he collapsed into the soft leather of his couch and leaned back with his eyes closed. He scarcely had a chance to relax before there was a knock on the hatch. He ignored it at first in the hopes that whoever it was would go away, but after a brief respite, the sound resumed.
"Come in," he snapped and glanced up only when he heard the hatch open.
Saul poked his head in and a moment later, the rest of him followed. They hadn't spoken since Valkyrie had jumped back deep into Colonial territory two days ago. After he had secured the hatch, Saul grabbed a couple of glasses and set them down on the small table across from Adama along with the bottle of whiskey that he'd brought with him.
"Shouldn't you be prepping for your transport home?"
Saul pulled over a chair.
"Eh, I hate packing."
"Tomorrow's your first anniversary, shouldn't miss it. I missed one too many of mine and look what happened," he said while he filled both their glasses. "The only thing I got out of it was my ring sent back with the divorce papers."
"I'll just pick up some Ambrosia on the way home and she'll forgive me."
"I still don't understand why you married that woman."
"Neither do I." He shrugged. "You know how it is."
William downed the entire contents of his glass. The burn of the whiskey and the warming sensation that followed was just strong enough to take his attention away from the slight ache that had been in the pit of his stomach ever since he'd given the order to have Danny shot down. He still couldn't bring himself to write up the after action report.
They fell silent until over half the bottle was gone.
"I didn't have a choice," he sighed, "you know that."
"Those frakking Cylon bastards are gonna come after us some day, and whether we crossed some invisible line out in space won't make a godsdamned bit of difference," replied Saul. "I would've kicked 'em in their chrome plated asses. But…I'm not command material."
"I'm gonna visit his mother tomorrow." Adama set down his drink before it became obvious from the shifting contents that his hand was trembling. "I'm not allowed to tell her that it was my fault because the mission was classified one-alpha. I can't say that I requested him and put him out there in enemy territory, and then shot him down—." He sighed. "I don't know what else to tell her."
"Every soldier knows he might not come home. So does his family." Saul shrugged. "Bulldog was a good man, not half bad of a Viper jock, and a good friend, you tell her that. You don't even have to lie."
"It's not enough. If it was my son nothing would be enough." He rubbed at a knot at the base of his neck. "When I was at Lee's graduation last week it never crossed my mind what I would do if something happened to him, but now—"
-x-
An hour in a dim transport from Picon to Caprica had left Adama squinting in the sunlight and wishing that he hadn't come after all. The dress grey uniforms of newly minted lieutenants in the Colonial Fleet Reserves filled the parade ground of the Delphi Military Academy. They were mixed with the blues of other Colonial officers and the array of colors worn by civilian families. He scanned the crowd for the paler grey uniforms of the Early Commissioning Program graduates as he walked by clusters of young lieutenants and their loved ones.
It had come as something of a surprise when Lee had decided to attend a military college. It wasn't that he hadn't expected that one of sons would follow him into the service, but he and Carolanne used to joke that Lee was hers and Zak was his. Ever since the divorce Lee had been quiet, his nose always buried in books, and when he didn't apply to one of the junior academies, William had assumed his eldest just wasn't interested in the life of a soldier.
Then two years ago, he'd gotten a call from Lee asking for a letter of recommendation for his application to the Delphi Academy. Lee had decided on the Reserves and the ECP as something of a compromise that would allow him to continue attending school while earning time toward promotions. That it kept him out of active combat duty and paid for his education was probably the only reason Carolanne had gone along with it.
Adama eventually found Lee and his brother Zak amid a group of senior officers. Zak caught sight of his father first.
"Dad!" He jogged over with a broad grin and Adama gave him a quick hug.
"Damn, you're getting tall. You know if you get too big, you won't be able to fit in a cockpit and they'll make you fly Raptors."
"I hear those new mark sevens come in regular and extra large." William smiled and patted his son on the shoulder.
Lee had politely excused himself from other officers and moved to join them.
"Sir."
"Lee."
The two shook hands.
"Sorry I missed the ceremony. I had a briefing that ran long. But I heard you graduated third your class, that's good. That's really good."
"Thanks."
"How's your mother?"
"I wouldn't know."
"So, uh, after all your school is done, have you thought about a specialty?"
"I was thinking of going on to War College, something to do with tactics, maybe flight school. I haven't really decided yet."
"I'm sure you'd make a helluva pilot. Not to say there aren't plenty of other things to do in the Fleet, but it's a whole other world up there. The experience of pulling Gs and watching the stars spin, it just doesn't compare to anything else… a man isn't a man until he wears the wings of a Viper pilot."
-x-
"I told him being a Viper pilot would make him a man." Adama gave up trying to get the muscle spasm in his neck to go away. "I didn't tell Lee to be careful with the choices that he makes, the people that he gives his loyalty to, the danger of making compromises… He's following in my footsteps and I turned out to be a commander who willfully kills his own men. What kind of man does that make me?"
"I don't know Bill. You make your choices, you live with 'em. That's all anyone does. It just hurts a good man more." Once the bottle of whiskey was empty, Saul got up to leave. "I should get packing," he mumbled.
A moment later, Adama heard the clang of the hatch close and he sagged back into the cushions. It hurt. Every mistake, and regret and sacrifice hurt enough to stop the breath in his lungs. Still, he kept breathing.
Eventually, he got up and went to his desk. He sat down, shuttered his heart against the pain, and picked up Danny's personnel file.
There was only one thing to tell Danny's mother and that was that this would never happen again under his watch, not to anyone else. Even if it meant war, he would do everything he could to make sure that his pilots came home. They would all come home. Even if it was only in pieces. They would always come home.
AN: *There were some timeline frakups in the episode Hero concerning Adama's years of service with crew members of Galactica that were previously established as lasting from two years prior to the attacks, up to five years, that don't agree with subsequent dialogue presented in Hero. I have opted to err on the side of preserving the most amount of canon as possible in the way that will make the most amount of sense and thus have revised the date of the Armistice Mission accordingly. For a more detailed analysis of this headache inducing issue, Battlestarwiki has an entry on it in the analysis of the relevant episode.
Also, it's good to be back. Part of the massive delay (other than another project and then the show coming back and ending) was me writing a few chapters ahead to reduce future delays and to get to the easier parts of the story. I am at said easier parts, they seem nice, and I have an eye toward getting to my ending so I should be able to keep up a half-decent pace. The end will be worth the wait, I promise. And as always thanks for the reviews and your patience.