Harry was back at the ministry with the others, right after a loud and tiring briefing with the order's members. Kingsley had made him call Malfoy over, to try and maybe eliminate more locations. It was a working hell. Ron was scowling constantly and mumbling incoherent insults at the ferret every minute or so, especially since Hermione's patronus. Now that the git was working with them, it was even worse. But Kingsley's presence restrained Ron's temper. Fortunately Malfoy was behaving approximatively fine and the others weren't that bothered by his presence.

After two hours of awkward looks and talking, they had eliminated two other locations and only had five to inspect. Five reconnaissance missions to plan. It was nearly nine o'clock and as the order was in Azkaban for now they decided to call it a night. They all needed some sleep to think clearly in the morning. According to Malfoy, Hermione wasn't done with his library and wanted to stay there until at least the next day at lunch. Ron had almost snapped at the news but apparently one patronus had been enough for the day.

"Malfoy, Minerva dropped those for Hermione."

"Oh right." The blond head took the pile of scrolls and books Harry gave him and shrank them to put them in his robe's pocket.

"Tell her everything we said tonight, she might have ideas."

"Right. Is that all? I'd like to actually go home now."

"Right just go."

Draco had barely passed the damn door from hell when someone called his name. Longbottom?

"Malfoy! Wait!" He sighed, what did the clumsy git want?

"What do you want Longbottom?"

"Well, I need you to ask something to Hermione for me." Draco sighed again. More direct talking to Granger.

"What is it?"

"Hum. Would you ask her if she'd go visit … hum. If she'd come with me to Mungo's tomorrow at ten? She'll know why. Kingsley gave us an hour."

"Err, right I'll ask." Draco turned his back and started but the idiot called again.

"Malfoy!"

"What now?" He hissed and Longbottom grimaced.

"She … she'll probably refuse but …"

"Then why in hell do you want me to ask ?"

"That's none of your business, ask her please. Just …"

"WHAT?"

"Godric's sake calm down! She might be upset. Don't mind it, just leave her alone if she refuses, all right?" Draco was loosing his last bit of patience.

"I don't get it Longbottom, you want me to ask her to come with you to Mungo's tomorrow, even if you know she'll say no and will be upset? How twisted are you? What is it with Mungo's anyway?"

"That … Shit. She'll tell you if she wants to, it's not my place to, but I have to at least offer her to come with me." Draco didn't understand and at this point he was too tired to even try so he answered, rubbing his face with both hands:

"Fuck this I'm too tired."

"You'll do it, right?"

"Yes, but if she tries to kill me Longbottom, you'll pay for it."

"Right."

Draco grabbed Weasley's report and apparated straight to his home office. What the fuck had that been about? Now, he was to give Granger more work, and upset her. He just hoped the blonde half-wolf wouldn't try to eat him in retaliation. When was the full moon anyway?

Hermione had read the entire volume and hadn't found anything more relevant in it. She was tapping her muggle pen against the table impatiently, as she perused yet another useless book. When was the sodding git getting back with the report? She'd read the file too but apart from a name that rang a very small bell, she hadn't found anything there either. There was something though, she knew there was, but she couldn't put her finger on it just yet.

"Would you stop doing that Hermione?"

"Sorry." She stopped and instead unconsciously tapped her foot on the floor.

"Granger! For Salazar's sake I swear if you keep fidgeting I'll body-bind you!"

"Zabini!" Warned Lavender.

"Sorry, I … shit I know there's something there and I can't put my bloody finger on it! It's driving me fucking insane!" Half-sighed, half-angrily pestered Hermione.

"Wow that's a lot of swearing Granger." Zabini looked more impressed than mocking.

"She bought a book." Said Lavender and they laughed at her. Open-mouthed, belly-hugging laughter. Hermione scowled.

"Shut up Lavender. When is that idiot coming back with the report anyway?"

"Way to welcome your host Granger. Missed me?" Hermione decided not to comment but gave the said blond idiot a false gag.

"Mature." Commented Lavender.

"Oh shut up. Give me that report already Malfoy." Malfoy shoved a little red file on the table. Arthur's report was really detailed, it took a long time to read through it.

"HERE! Again that name! Applebea, Applebea … I know that bloody name!"

"Greengrass's mother's birth name Granger." Said Malfoy, now sitting next to Blaise, his head lifted to her from a page of the never ending register. Oh. Greengrass.

"Involved in the war?" She asked, not even lifting her eyes from the file.

"No, they fled like I did." Answered Zabini.

"Did your grand-mother … sorry if this is insensitive, but did your grand-mother believe in pure-blooded supremacy?" Zabini looked a bit surprised but not upset.

"Well yes she did. She just didn't want to take part in the butchery."

"Right. Greengrasses?"

"Shit same." Said Malfoy.

"They own shares on that shop of yours did you know?"

"No. But there are a lot of mixed shares in my company. I've recast it but not entirely. I'm busy …" He was beginning to look guilty so she cut him:

"I know. I'll need to go to the ministry's archives, this is definitely something …"

"Right, I go first thing in the morning." Nodded Malfoy.

"So … I'm supposed to stay here?" Asked Lavender.

"Not if we're done with the register tonight." Hermione tried to reassure her.

"Right, back to work then." Lavender definitely wanted to be out of that damn library too.

"You know the aurors are taking the night off. Maybe we should just …" Started Malfoy.

"No." Hermione cut.

"Right let's kill ourselves at work while your friends get a full night of sleep …" Hermione sighed. After all he was right they needed the sleep.

"It's ten, two more hours and we stop?" Hermione offered.

"It's a good compromise." Said Lavender. Malfoy nodded and went back to his page. Half a second later he seemed to have an epiphany.

"Shit McGonagall! Accio!"

"Oh she found some things?" Hoped Hermione.

"Yes. I … forgot." He scowled, then returned to his page. Weird. Four books and two scrolls came in, flying around Malfoy's head and without even lifting his newly angry face from his page, he flicked his wand and they landed in between Hermione and Lavender. The both of them started perusing the titles. Lavender talked first.

"Well this is useless. All about geographic estates, all older than the last scroll."

"Mm. Maybe. Malfoy?"

"Granger?" He still looked angry and it confused her. What had angered him about Minerva? He was frowning and his face was closed. She noticed he hadn't shaved that morning, it looked sloppy on him. Awkward. Awkward to notice it too. She returned to the matter at hand.

"Do you know how many shares Greegrasses have in your company?"

"Not enough to do anything. My father always made sure of that, it's just a bit of investing to … well, to have the Malfoy name everywhere actually, without having to do the work."

"Oh." She needed to go check Greegrass' estates at the ministry. There must be something weird there. If it was them helping the Lestranges, they had probably realised they hadn't any access to Malfoy's money, and as the wards were so strong here, no way to threaten him. Maybe it was why Blaise had been threatened. In lack of a better choice.

"Maybe." Said Blaise. Hermione jumped a bit.

"Maybe what?" Was he out of his mind? Lavender chuckled:

"She was talking to herself." Oh, she'd been thinking aloud, but Hermione didn't care that they mocked her at that moment, her mind was racing.

Indeed she'd been. Granger hadn't really paid any attention to him and it had been perfect this way. Except he'd forgotten about McGonagall's documents AND Longbottom's request. He'd have to ask her before they'd call it a night. Should he speak with her alone since it might upset her? No, that was stupid, she might just want to have Brown close as sharing a room was helping she'd said. Wait Longbottom had said to leave her alone … fuck this was … all that because of Hermione fucking Granger!

"Zabini how much do you own compared to Malfoy? Is it significantly less?" Draco went back to reality with that. He looked at her questioningly but she was looking only at Blaise, with that determined and thinking look she'd always had in school. She looked a bit more frantic than then though, and very much more tired and desperate.

"Err …" Answered Blaise, reluctant to actually say the truth.

"Come on it's important."

"Well, publicly it is significantly less."

"Oh. You sure no one knows it's not the case?"

"The only one to know until now was Draco."

"Right. So … first choice Malfoy, then Zabini, Greengrass … We're missing another piece, there's someone else involved. They must have …" She was in fact mumbling to herself and Brown was looking at her with concentration, apparently trying to catch her words. Brown nodded a few times and looked deep in thoughts after that. Granger was oblivious to the rest of them, and kept looking at the file and the report, as well as one of the books, mumbling incoherently. Her hair was not covering her face at all and it was strange. Draco had already seen her in such a state, a long time ago, in the library. But then, she'd been hidden behind a huge curtain of hair, and he'd had researches to do for the Dark Lord's damned vanishing cabinet so he hadn't stayed long enough to study her face properly. He remembered asking himself if she really was any different from any other girls he knew. Well she definitely had been more annoying but humanly speaking … She had freckles. Well this was just great, Draco was positively too tired to think straight any more, and possibly loosing his mind.

"Look if Lestrange was communicating from Azkaban, which I bet my hand on, he must have tried to find some way to steal money from you before going out. You must have had some weird business proposition, encounters … Malfoy?" Shit she was addressing him.

"I … actually no. I don't think so anyway. But you should know that my father's company was all about dark arts before and well … define weird business propositions?"

"No nothing like that, but maybe someone who wanted to buy the company from you or try to make a deal where you'd be left with almost nothing or where there'd be a loophole, or associate with you somehow …"

"Err no, nothing. I don't see anything." She took her head in her hands in response and swore in them. Lavender cocked her head to the side and smiled. Draco didn't understand until Granger spoke, and he got it: Brown had been waiting for Granger to ask her help to clear her thoughts. This was interesting to watch and both Slytherins weren't working any more.

"Lavender? Could you … ?"

"Right. What would you do to take his money from him Hermione?"

"Probably try and outdo him through business. That's why I …"

"How?"

"Contract, make him sign something that gives me more than he has."

"Didn't happen, how else?"

"Shit, imperius?"

"Stop kidding. What other ways?"

"Stealing?"

"We already crossed that."

"Right, associate?"

"He said no offers."

"Shit."

"Think Mione, think." And Granger thought so fiercely she looked sick. It only lasted a minute though.

"Associate! Of course!" Well it was clear only to her. "Did anyone asked you to marry them Malfoy? Or maybe an arranged marriage proposal? I take it they're still common practise among purebloods right?"

"They are, but … no."

"Maybe a weird money interested date?" She asked looking quite hopeful.

"Err neither." Granger's face dropped. She looked so disappointed and worn at that moment that Draco felt his stomach hurt. Her eyes were as empty as the night before in the corridor and he would have to upset her even more. Wait. Since when did he care? He didn't. He didn't care about her especially, he was only being human and you don't kick someone when he's down. Right? What was it with St Mungo's that would upset her anyway? Oh, maybe it was because she'd started healers training and had to drop? Well why would she go back there then? Fucking Longbottom! Couldn't have given him a note or something? What a bloody fucking bastard.

"We should call it a night Mione, this is going nowhere and we're too tired anyway." Said Brown, pushing the papers away from her on the table.

"Yes you're right."

"Not too bloody late!" Blaise jumped out of his chair at this comment. "I'm exhausted."

"Well maybe if you'd slept last night you wouldn't be." Challenged Brown.

"Maybe but see we'll never know." Draco didn't listen to what they said next, his thigh was getting warm again. He looked at Granger and she had her hands under the table and looked suspiciously at Brown and Blaise. Draco turned a bit on his chair and retrieved the parchment from his pocket, eyeing the two arguing specimens. If she'd written, she didn't want them to know so …

- You were right. But I think it's the both of them.

"Well then you'd better be thinking straight in the morning 'cause we're leaving before lunch."

"I'll do as I please Bl … Brown." How had he been about to call her? And why were they smiling when arguing? Shit he'd been right about Blaise, and Granger was right about Brown. Draco looked at Granger and she was actually smiling at him, she even eyed their friends for good measure. So she wouldn't be upset about that? What would he think about that? He guessed he didn't really care. He shrugged to her. She smiled more. That changed her entire face, she looked … alive. Odd. He stood.

"I'm off then."

"Right. Me too. Night Gryffindors." Said Blaise.

"Night Slytherins!" Answered Brown. Draco and Granger only said "Night." The others were expressing way too much friendliness. Blaise and he walked out of the library together and after a few steps Draco asked:

"You been all right?"

"Err, drank all night. Brown lectured the living shit out of me. I think I needed the yelling though. I'm fine now mate."

"Good. We'll grab a drink soon …"

"Yeah when all this mess is sorted out."

"Maybe not so soon then …"

"Oh I don't think so. Granger's got a hell of a brain in my opinion. Have you seen that earlier? Those two trying to think like those bastards?" Shit. Granger. What an idiot he was! Oh and the hell to it! He'd just write it on the parchment.

"Yes that was impressive." They reached the north wing to the guests rooms a moment later. Indeed that damn place was still a maze.

"Night mate."

"Night." Said Draco absent-mindedly. Oh Salazar's … Hadn't he forgotten something else too? His mother for instance? It was not midnight yet she might still be up … Who was he kidding, of course she was in bed already. He'd check just in case. If he could avoid her wrath … Didn't need that on top of everything else. Draco walked quickly to the lounge and didn't know if he was lucky or damned. She'd waited for him.

"Mother?"

"Oh Draco dear I was about to give up." She looked positively dissatisfied.

"Sorry I …"

"I know. But I thought you'd still come by before going to the library."

"I'm sorry this was …"

"Important it's all right." Well it didn't look like it was. "How are things going?"

"We have a lead. We'll know more tomorrow."

"Right. How's Blaise?"

"Hum, fine I guess, a bit … well you know sad and all."

"Maybe he should just answer that Parkinson girl, she's from quite the nice family you know. Don't look at me like that son, I know you don't like her but she might be just fine for him." Parkinson! Here was his disguised marriage proposal! His pure-blooded nonsense! His glory and estate association! Why hadn't he thought of her? Maybe because she'd been harassing him since school! He was so used to it that he didn't even think about it any more.

"Parkinson you said?"

"Yes she sent him a letter the night he arrived here dear." Oh shit, there their common gold digger.

"Sorry mother I have to go!"

Draco practically ran out of the lounge. His mother would express her displeasure later. That would be indeed unpleasant. He ran to the north wing, back to the guest rooms. Panting like an idiot, he realised there was no light on the entire floor whatsoever. He walked closely to Blaise's room and could already hear him snore. Nice. He then went to the Gryffindors' room and heard nothing. They were all so exhausted that they might already been asleep. Shit, this could wait until morning but FUCK Longbottom's request … If she was asleep she wouldn't read the parchment until he was already gone. No way in hell was he waking her in the morning to ask! Wait, maybe they were still at the library. After all he'd left there about … almost thirty minutes before. Draco didn't run like an idiot this time, he just took the path he knew they would take to go to their room. Plus, his little jog had drained him to the core. He was barely standing.

Hermione smiled at Lavender once the two Slytherins were out.

"What?"

"We'll need to talk about that little banter Lavender."

"No. I'm off. You coming?"

"In a bit, I'll just pile these properly. Don't look at me like that, we said midnight!"

"Right, right. Don't be too long though, wandering around those walls alone is not reassuring."

"Right." With that Lavender was gone and Hermione kept thinking while putting a bit of order on their table without really paying attention to it. She needed the ministry's archives. It was eating her! If only she could link Greengrass to Zabini somehow or prove …

"Granger?" She jumped so hard she threw some papers around.

"What the fuck Malfoy?!" The git smirked while she tried to steady herself, breathing deeply to slow her raging heartbeat.

"Could yell at me for throwing papers around." He mocked.

"Oh come on! You scared the living shit out of me!"

"Not an excuse."

"What the hell is it you want anyway?" His eyes widened and Hermione forgot her heartbeat. He then started talking, all hastily while looking frazzled as hell. It was weird.

"I've got our common gold digger Granger. It's been right under my nose for years! Parkinson! She wrote to Blaise too according to my mother, not earlier than the night his grand-mother was killed! It has to be her Granger! She's been insisting we see each other since the war to share some fallen glory or some bullshit! Then she writes to Blaise the night he's told to join? This can't be a coincidence! Plus her family's a colony of death eaters! They were cleared after the war since they had no proofs but I know her father was one! I've seen him here Granger!" This couldn't be, they were on Parkinson's backs since the end of the war. The idiots had been cleared yes, but Harry had always believed they were death eaters. Maybe it had to do with her little bout before the final battle.

"Parkinsons are watched Malfoy."

"Yes their Manor is! I bet they covered some other locations under Greengrass' mother's name too! Look if they somehow have a foot in my business under that name …" Right, he was right it could only be that! Shit that git was impressive! Parkinson was a self-righteous bitch anyway! She needed those archives so bad …

"You're right. You're bloody right! It has to be them! Fuck I need the ministry's sodding archives! If I can somehow link them with Greengrass err Applebea or whatever …"

"It's closed now. Damn. I would have just gone there right now!" He looked as hectic as she felt.

"First thing in the morning you said? Could you wait until … say ten? I would be done with that register and we could just go straight to the ministry to Harry and the others …" Malfoy paled. He did so much he looked like a ghost. What had she said? It couldn't be working with Harry and the others that put him in such a state he'd done just that all evening already.

"What is it?"

"Err it might have to be earlier than ten …"

"Oh, it's all right I'll … Malfoy what's wrong?"

"Well Longbottom wanted me to ask you something." What did Neville want that could make Malfoy pale like that?

"Well go on …"

"He wants you to go with him to Mungo's at ten tomorrow. He said Shakelbolt's given you an hour."

Oh, that. Them. No, she wasn't going to think about them. She'd succeeded not to for years, she wasn't about to do that in front of Malfoy. She hadn't gone to Mungo's since she'd dropped training either and that was for a good reason too. No she wasn't going to …

"Granger?" Malfoy looked worried. Sincerely and deeply worried. This was … disturbing at every level.

"Are you worried?" She asked quite bewildered. He couldn't really worry now, could he?

"Hum, Longbottom said you'd probably say no and be upset."

"What? How could he … Why do you …"

"He looked serious about it …"

"I don't care! I don't give a damn about it okay?! What the fuck does he know anyway!" She spat. Shit. She sat back down on the chair she'd occupied all day. Malfoy looked like he was about to faint. "Merlin this is … I'm sorry Malfoy. I didn't mean to snap at you. Nor at Neville in fact. He knows perfectly well what it's like." She'd said the last bit for herself. Alice and Frank Longbottom had stayed in Saint Mungo's since he was a baby, of course Neville knew what it was like to … shit she'd been about to think about it!

"What is it?" Malfoy stayed standing awkwardly, and looked like the question was hurting him.

"Nothing you need to worry about Malfoy, it's quite all right. Plus, you seem so uncomfortable I don't want to force the … err … friendliness? Out of you any more. Good night." He really looked in pain. How he had to hate her to feel like that when pretending to care … "Go Malfoy, I can feel the forced attitude from here. This is beyond civility …"

"It's wasn't forced earlier." He simply stated.

"Yes well, I can tell that you're in pain right now and I'm perfectly fine. Whatever Harry or Neville made you promise I assure you, you don't need to keep your word."

"It wasn't forced Granger. Shit …" He sat next to her, on Zabini's chair, and took his face in his hands.

"You don't need to do that Malfoy …"

"What is it?" His elbows were probed on his knees and he was looking at her with wide, uncomfortable eyes. She could see all the shades of grey that tinted his orbs from there. Was there really worry and concern in them too? He looked so tired, older than his age. He'd grown up too fast for sure. He was trustworthy, wasn't he? And he was asking her to talk, wasn't he? Why would he force himself to if he didn't give a damn? Why didn't she just spit it out? Everybody knew anyway. No one talked to her about it, ever. Not even Neville, he just offered to take her with him every other month but never said much more. They'd all stopped talking about it after she'd dropped healer's training. She'd been a wreck … The words got out of her mouth before she could make up her mind about it.

"Do you know why I chose to be a healer Malfoy?"

"Eh, you were good in potions and charms?" He said, with a hint of joking, and a lot of wariness.

"No I was good everywhere."

"Don't rub it in my face. Why did you then?"

"Well eh … because I had incurable people to heal." Malfoy looked strange, Hermione couldn't decipher his expression any longer, maybe it had something to do with the fact her sight was blurred from unshod tears.

"Who?"

"My parents."

"But … aren't they muggles?" He asked confusedly.

"They are."

"Then … why are they …"

"They've been obliviated."

"Oh … but … they couldn't restore their memories then?"

"Well, it's not quite that … Actually they recovered almost everything but …"

"I don't get it they're still in there, right?"

"Yes." The tears were harder to contain now. She breathed slowly but couldn't give more words. It was Malfoy in front of her, not a non judgemental friend. He was trustworthy but he couldn't care about her pain, not after all their history.

"What didn't they recover Granger?" This time his face was serious, almost grave.

"Me." The word had escaped her lips without her consent. She was just telling herself he couldn't care, he just couldn't.

"What … How …" He looked shocked. None of the precedent discomfort showed on his face any more, he was just looking at her with wide eyes, like he found the very thought horrific. She felt so guilty now. It was her fault. It was why she'd just tried to forget it, to not think about it. The words came out on their own volition, her wounded conscience trying to release some of the eating guilt.

"I obliviated them before seventh year. So they would be safe. I made them forget me and wish to move to Australia so no one could hurt them because of what I was doing or what I was."

"What you … Oh my … Salazar's … Granger that's …" His horror showed on all his features, even his hands were trembling as he looked at her with now red eyes.

"Horrific. I know. When we found them back, I took them to Mungo's stupefied and explained the situation. Minerva worked on them too … They recovered everything they knew from the magical world which is why they're in Mungo's. But there was a … a trick in the spell somehow it didn't work correctly. As I used it to erase me, added to the fact that I cast the spell, they were unable to restore their memories of me. I … I still have no idea why or how … It …"

"If they're still in there it means they're still working on it …"

"It's been years Malfoy … I …" The words failed her, it was too late for her parents. She'd lost them, and it was her fault. She'd never cure them.

"Don't cry Granger …" There, she could see the pain in his eyes again. Like she needed to hurt someone else.

"Sorry. It's …"

"Don't be sorry again! I had no idea you had to go to that extent. You've got nothing to be sorry about. I should apologize not you." Why? It had nothing to do with him.

"Why? You're … surprisingly considerate right now and I just make you uncomfortable with my sobbing!" He chuckled bitterly at that.

"Because people like me were the cause of all your pain." That cut her tears short. He was looking at his hands with such anger and hate she shivered. Was that hate directed at himself? Why? He was on their side now, wasn't he? He was just a terrified kid during the war, right?

"By people like you, you mean scared kids, right?" As he didn't answer she added: "I chose to obliviate them. Not you."

"I mean death eaters Granger. And if it wasn't for this war you wouldn't have had to …"

"No. I chose it. I'm my own nemesis on that matter Malfoy. I could have sent them in hiding but I didn't. Don't blame yourself for my pain."

"Well for this pain then … but the others …" He looked wounded now, his eyes were red and his face torn, he was still watching his hands with such hatred Hermione didn't know it was possible for someone to feel this guilty.

"You were a kid Malfoy. We all were. You had no choice. Harry believes that, I believe that."

"I should have died that day Granger. I should have done something …"

"What are you talking about?" He shook his head multiple times, like if he was trying to shake the thoughts away, but then he started talking, his voice broken, almost a murmur, incoherent.

"I stayed there, I just didn't know … I realised this was just terror when she … I couldn't but I should have! Look at what I've done …" What? Hermione couldn't decipher exactly what he was talking about. But she could feel guilt radiating from him in strong waves of self-hatred and shame. It felt awful. He kept talking, bits of sentences, while looking at his hands. Hermione couldn't take it any longer, how could he feel so strongly hateful about himself? How did her confession have anything to do with his guilt? Was she a part of his guilt? That made no sense. Maybe he'd just needed to talk but this was … she didn't understand.

"You do realise this has nothing to do with you, right?" He lifted his face to her and stopped talking. "This was about me … right?" She wasn't self-absorbed or anything, she just couldn't figure out what it had to do with him, what had triggered the pain on his face.

"Yes about you and your pain …"

"Then why do you …"

"Come on look at yourself Granger! Don't tell me you're all right! This is so fucking unfair. Unfair because … despite all I've done to you I still have my mother. How is that fair to you? How am I supposed to live with myself when I could have helped at some point and done nothing!" Oh, so this was about that? About Bellatrix? Hermione felt another bout of crying coming and she swallowed hard to repress it.

"There's nothing you could have done that day that would have kept you alive Draco …"

"Don't use my name." He spat. "Don't show me compassion when you should feel none. The only time you called me by my name you were laying almost dead on the carpet of my drawing room. I don't deserve your compassion Granger." His anger was the worst she'd ever seen in him, but as he talked it faded to something else.

"I could have helped. I should have. I … Stop! Stop doing that … Please …" He looked pleading, on the verge of crying and this was all so surreal. Hermione could hear Bellatrix's hysterical laugh from far away. His hand grabbed hers and he looked down at her arm. She knew exactly what he was looking at and what she'd been doing. She could hear it. That broken and raspy voice that had escaped her own lips, she could see the look he'd had on his face. That mortal terror that had taken her to the point of begging. She'd begged him. She'd said his name.

"Granger? I'm sorry I … I didn't think I was just trying to …" He was griping her hand tightly as to make her come back to reality. She said what she always said when people were hurting:

"It's all right."

"No it's not … I hurt you." He looked broken. Like a glass, crushed on the floor. And he hurt but he hadn't hurt her then.

"No your aunt hurt me. She broke me. You didn't do anything wrong that day and you're not doing anything wrong right now."

"Maybe, but I've hurt you before all that."

"You didn't …"

"Stop it Granger you know it's true! You know I hurt you and so many others I can't keep count! I am reminded of that everyday!"

"They're just memories Malfoy they're of the past." Yes, this was the past. This was not happening again.

"Oh no, they're not! Look at you!" He yelped looking at her arm. "Want to see my reminder Granger?" He spat in a fury, almost ripping off his left sleeve. He lifted it, tearing the button apart, and showed her an ugly and faded dark mark, his left hand still tightly holding her right hand away from her scar.

"Does that look of the past to you Granger?" He looked at her directly in the eyes this time and they were pleading, guilty and desperate all at once. Hermione had never seen such depth in his eyes before. And she'd seen them, she'd watched them a few days before in Harry's office, in his library. They'd been a cloudy grey. The were almost black now, black with desperation in the dim light of the candles. She couldn't hold his gaze, for she felt it went right through her, so she lowered her eyes to his dark mark. How ironic that she'd thought about it no longer than a few days before. How ironic and tragic that it had made her feel better about her own scars. It made her sick now. Sick at her own bitterness and hypocrisy. She'd hurt too. She'd just happened to be on the right side. No, the wining side. She didn't get to choose her side she was muggle born. He didn't get to choose his either. He was of pure blood. They'd had no choice.

"We had no choice. I am a muggle-born I can't change that, nor can you change the fact that you're a pure-blood. You did bad things, then guess what? I've got my share of bad things too since the war ended. I just happened to be born on the right side somehow."

"Being a pure-blood doesn't excuse following through with that shit Granger. I should have …"

"Look, we're not kids any more Malfoy you can't blame yourself for your past decisions, you're making the right ones today. You could have been on our side for all I know and this whole shit would still have broken me and so many others. My pain has nothing to do with you. You've changed. We've all seen that. We've all seen past your sarcasm and mockery Malfoy. There's no longer any hatred behind it, I know it. You've changed, right?"

"I have. A long time ago …" He said bitterly. Maybe he didn't really believe it.

"If … Maybe you should prove it."

"Wh … How?"

"Say his name. It's … freeing."

"What? He … I've never …"

"I know. We knew a very wise man that told Harry once, that the fear of a name only increases the fear of the thing itself. Voldemort's dead."

"You're right." He hesitated but a hint of determination stole his features and he continued:

"Voldemort's dead. And I almost killed that wise man."

"To protect your mother. Look to what extent I went to protect mine? At least you succeeded. They don't even know I exist …"

"Yes I protected her … at the others expense. You protected them at your own expense. Fucking noble thing to do right? A kid who still made the right choice." There was no right answer to his guilt. He felt guilty with reason, she felt guilty with reason. They'd had no choice.

"All right that's enough. If you insist yes you're a prat. But everybody knows that." He actually chuckled at her little joke.

"I am." He said.

"Right and I'm a know-it-all bookworm."

"Oh that you are." He stated.

"Yes I am." The corner of his lips lifted a bit as if he'd smile, but it dropped again. He didn't look as desperate as before though and resolutely said:

"I'm sorry Granger. For all that's happened to you. And for all I've done that somehow hurt or didn't help." Wow. This was the least expected thing she'd thought she'd hear from him. It was so very welcome. And equally unfair.

"I'm sorry you were forced and fed that nonsense bullshit since the crib and had to act on it." He nodded, his expression serious and thinking, so she added: "I'm sorry I slapped you in third year."

He chuckled again: "No you're not."

"Right I'm not you deserved it." They both had a tired and desperate laugh at the memory, just one little noise, and it was over. He lowered his gaze and she followed his eyes to their linked hands and exposed left forearms. She suddenly felt the urge to cry again. It was so awful. So unfair. So monstrous. She started crying. She cried but this time she really let it go. She cried for their pains. For he was forced to believe the insults he'd thrown her way all those years, for he was forced to try to kill Dumbledore, for the people he'd hurt, for his fear and guilt, for his broken family. For hers. For Harry, her bad memories and nightmares, for she'd broken families too. For innocent death eater's children. She cried because she'd hurt and cursed people and it had stained her soul. For everything that had happened to her and kept happening everyday. For she was slowly giving up. She felt so tired.

"Don't cry Granger …" He tightened his hold of her hand a bit but her silent tears didn't stop. They kept rolling down her cheeks like a bloody fountain. He looked broken. This was what their lives had done to them. Not even twenty two yet and a broken soul already. All life ahead of them and no light in sight.

"I …Sometimes I feel like giving up Malfoy …I'm so tired …" He suddenly looked so sad she felt her stomach lurch dangerously.

"You can't say that we've got a lead!"

"I don't have any happy memories any more Malfoy. I barely manage to create a patronus from an old bitter revengeful day. Do you have happy memories?" He looked the more sad at that question, what was she doing to him? But she was so tired. She just wanted it all to end. Soon.

"I guess from when I was little …"

"They don't feel bitter to you?"

"I can't produce a patronus Granger I never could." He wasn't looking at her any more. What had she asked?

"Oh Merlin … I didn't mean to …" He cut her, sadness fading to be replaced by a faint anger.

"No. Not again. Don't you dare apologize. To this point there's nothing you could say that would upset me more." His tone was commanding but not aggressive. He was right though he looked so upset, sad, angry, guilty … He looked too much.

"Right. Look at yourself Malfoy. You're a wreck." She hadn't meant to say it like that but it had sounded as half a joke and she was glad. Her eyes hurt from crying. This was enough. The shadow of a well-known smirk curled the corner of his mouth.

"Well you're no better Granger. All bitter talk and no more Gryffindor bravery and bullshit? I'm disappointed." She chuckled. He was right.

"Very Slytherin of you to point out." He smiled. A genuine first smile at her. It changed everything. He looked so different.

"You've never smiled at me." She said. He looked at her a moment and cocked his head to the side.

"You've never been funny enough." She smiled too and they stayed like that a moment, his large hand holding hers tightly.

She yawned. It was way past one in the morning. Their miserable conversation had taken that long. The silence they were in was strangely comfortable. He'd emptied his bag, she'd emptied hers. Draco had realised she'd suffered more than he, and now he couldn't let go of her bony and small hand. It felt like letting it go would break her. Like, if he did, she would start crying again. She didn't seem to mind him touching her and it felt strange because, not so long ago, she'd been disgusted by the very thought of touching him. Years ago he'd been too. They needed to sleep. Maybe this conversation wouldn't have occurred at all if they'd been thinking clearly. Maybe it was all some sort of strange dream. Maybe he'd wake up in the morning having written Longbottom's request on the parchment. He hoped so, and he hoped not too. He stood, pulling at her hand gently.

"Come on I'll walk you back." She nodded and followed him, half a step behind, clutching at his hand a bit. It was a small comfort he thought. For the both of them. But it was also all they could offer each other: a hand. They had to much history, and it was too strange. They walked silently back to the north wing and he didn't stop until he was at her door. He stepped back and the inevitable moment where he'd have to let go of her hand arrived. She squeezed it a bit before doing it for him, and grabbed the doorknob instead.

"I won't be going with Neville tomorrow." She said. He nodded and didn't question her choice. He didn't know what it was like.

"Do you still want me to wait until ten?"

"Nine should be fine. I'll work fast."

"Right."

"Good night Malfoy …"

"Good night Granger." He cleared his throat awkwardly and stumbled a bit on his feet when turning his back to her. She chuckled. His discomfort was not funny.

"What?"

"Discomfort makes you as clumsy as a Hufflepuff." She said. Outrageous! How dare she? Oh, she was kidding. Breaking that weird ice he'd put there between them.

"And you're an annoying sow, but what can we do?" She laughed and it didn't feel strange.

"Pig." She said.

"Do I win this one then?" He asked, only one eyebrow lifted.

"You wish." She looked fierce and all Gryffindor again. He'd never thought he would prefer that from a miserable Granger. She was back on track, wasn't she? Like after her snap in the drawing room, she'd just recovered. He smiled and had no idea what to say. She took a step towards him, and he froze. What was she doing? She got so close he could smell her. She didn't smell like Azkaban at all any more. She smelled of shampoo and flowers. She got on her tip toes and murmured in his ear:

"Lavender's listening." Oh. He took a step away to see her and she stumbled and almost walked on his feet. He grabbed her by the elbow to steady her.

"Who's so clumsy now?" He scowled. She was … almost in his arms. So close he could see every freckle. She was really small. Discomfort crept down his spine so quickly that he felt his hand tremble on her elbow. She backed out.

"Sorry." She mumbled.

"Well now you'd better be! You practically stumped on my foot there." He smirked for real this time. He'd just spent an hour telling her not to apologize.

"Oh my god, you're such the Hufflepuff. Such a victim …" She was biting her lip to keep herself from laughing.

"Careful bookworm. You could get badly surprised." He said, using her own words from their parchment exchange. She chuckled.

"Right I'll keep that in mind. And the fact that you're a what? Oh yes, a clumsy prat." She laughed just before he couldn't help but laugh too.

"Sow. And you don't win." A slight shuffle made them both startle. Brown was still behind the door. That wolfy girl wasn't that discrete. The moment had passed though, and the witty banter had ended.

"I should let you join your noisy friend Granger." He said loudly.

"Right. Good night then."

"Good night."

Hermione grabbed the doorknob as soon as he turned his back on her, his shoulders slightly slumped and his posture clearly exhausted.

"You heard me eh?" Lavender looked really guilty.

"Yes. Of course we did."

"Right. Sorry I didn't mean to pry but … I heard you two and … well I thought you might fight again …"

"Actually we gave each other our word that we will stay at least civil."

"Oh, well I saw that. At first I thought he was being nasty but … Mione you're snide!"

"I … Well yes. But it wasn't mean or anything."

"Yes I got that. It sounded err disturbingly friendly actually."

"I wouldn't go that far."

"Right what were you doing?" Oh the lead! She explained everything quickly to Lavender, this was going to be a short night. Again. Lavender excitedly answered and even jumped a bit at the news. Then they calmed down and it was already two thirty in the morning.

"Fuck this is good. We'll see in the morning though I'm dead. Let's go to sleep." Lavender said, jumping in the bed excitedly.

Hermione felt heavy as she settled under the covers next to her friend. She was so worn she couldn't move any more. She'd emptied her bag and now she needed to rest and recover. Malfoy had to be in the same state right now. Lavender looked at her warily and took her hand. It felt strange after an hour of Malfoy's hand holding hers.

"I can tell you've been crying Mione, what's going on?" She didn't want to share the moment she'd had with him. It was personal, between them and she felt like he wouldn't be happy if she told anyway.

"Neville goes to Mungo's in the morning."

"Oh." Lavender said nothing more and just kept holding her hand as they fell asleep.