Okay. If you don't know who Ember is... I recommend you read "selfish" by DreamWalker84 on archiveofourown. Ember is canon to this story now and if you don't read that story you will have a hard time following along.

Almost 4 hours later, the hospital discharged you with a diagnosis of threatened abortion. The ER doctor told you that some bleeding could be normal and that at this time there wasn't much that the ER could do. They recommended that you had plenty of rest, followed up with your OBGYN, returned to the ER if you had any more bleeding or pain, and just like that they sent you on your way. It felt like an incredible waste of your time with Zen but at least you knew your child was still safe. Zen laid on the bed with you the entire time he was there, telling you about how the play had kicked off, told you about the police investigation on Magenta, how Luciel was struggling now that Saeran was gone and how amazing Ember had been taking care of him. You told him about your experience at the mental institution and he was eerily quiet.

"This wouldn't be a problem if I was there" he said, caressing your cheek. He was right - you wouldn't be forcing yourself to stay in this dimension if Zen was in your world. But what if it didn't work? What if he just... died? The thought was too horrible to even contemplate so you changed the subjected and asked him about his play. He understood the hint and switched topic, happily telling you about the box office record that they had broken last week. A little while later, you were heading to his apartment.

Yoosung had gone back to his dorm but had been kind enough to leave you the car. To Zen's relief, Yoosung declined taking his motorcycle and took a cab instead. On the way to Zen's apartment, you read the paperwork the hospital gave you. The bleeding had stopped, but you couldn't help but feel that neither the doctors or yourself had done enough about it. The IV medications they were giving you in your dimension had to have something to do with this. You felt overwhelmed by the amount of situations you were currently dealing with and this made for a silent ride home. Despite this, Zen held your hand for most of the ride.

Once you got to his apartment, you sat on the couch and held your head in your hands, hiding your face.

"You can't do it" you tell Zen, after thinking about it. "It's just not an option"

"Why not? It seems the most feasible solution" he said, sitting next to you. "That way you're not traveling here to see me, and-"

"I'm not pregnant in the other dimension" you said as you wrapped your arms around your stomach. "Besides, we don't know that just dying here will land you in my dimension. You've never been there. What if you end up somewhere else? Or worse, what if you just die? I can't - I couldn't deal with it"

"I would do it if it meant I could be with you, always." he said, taking your hand and holding it in both of his. "It kills me to see you suffer like this. You're spending more time in agony there than you are here with me. This can't go on forever"

"But it is a safer option than risking everything for something that we're not even sure how it works"

"I'll just do what Saer-"

"Stop, just stop Zen. This is not going to happen. If you died and I couldn't find you, I would… I would…" I would turn into Daria. "I wouldn't survive knowing you are dead. I can't go back to my old life now, a life without you" your voice barely louder than a whisper. You took a deep breath before continuing. "Maybe I need to talk to Ember to see if she has more answers than I do, to see how often she is coming here and how"

Zen looked at the floor and closed his eyes. "She hasn't left" he said, almost indiscernibly.

"What?" you gasped. "This whole time?"

Zen turned to look at you slowly. His crimson eyes a deeper shade than you had seen them before. "If she is dead in your dimension, you're not allowed to even think about it" he said, but your mind was already racing. "MC" he said, but you didn't respond. When was the last time you talked to Ember in your dimension? All you could remember was that the last time you saw her she had been in Magenta. "MC, please, look at me" he said, grabbing you by the chin and turning his head towards you, forcing you to look him in the eye. "If Ember died in your dimension, you are not allowed to try the same thing. Promise me"

"But-" you tried to argue.

"Promise me, MC" he said. His tone was firm and serious. You had never heard him talk to anyone like that, let alone you. His eyes were deep and commanding and they pierced right through any will you had to go against his wishes.

"Zen… "

"NO" he said again, and you knew this wasn't up for debate. He would never let you try this.

"I still want to talk to her" you say, moving your head away from him.

"I'll call her" he said, pulling his phone out. "I probably should have called them already to tell them you're here." He said, while he waited for someone to answer.

"Ember, hi" he said, looking at you while he spoke. You motioned at him, urging him to give you the phone. "Yeah, yeah. She's fine. The baby is fine. Let me put her on". He said, handing you the phone. "It looks like Yoosung beat me to it"

"Em" you said, almost snatching the phone out of Zen's hand.

"MC, you're back! I was starting to worry you weren't going to come back. Are you alright? Are you out of the hospital already? Is the baby alright?" you heard Ember say over the phone.

"Yes. Yes I'm okay. The doctors said I'm okay. The baby is still okay"

"I was so worried" Ember said. "I'm just glad you're okay."

"How are you?" you asked.

"I'm… I'm alright. I've been taking care of Saeyoung since… did Zen tell you what happened?"

"Yeah… Zen told me" you say. You had wanted to tell them that Saeran was alive, that he was in another dimension, that he was getting treatment and he might have even found someone… but right before the words left your mouth you hesitated - how do you tell someone when they are grieving that their loved one is alive but they won't see them again? If you told Ember now, she would have to tell Seven… and just as you were considering ending your life to stay in this dimension with Zen, the likelihood that Luciel would try to do the same thing to find Saeran was terrifying. "I'd like to see you, both you and Saeyoung. Do you think you can come over?"

"Oh, yes, I'm sure we can head over there in a few. Let me just tell Saeyoung and we'll head right on over. I can't wait to see you, MC"

"I can't wait to see you either, Em" you said, hanging up the phone. You looked over to Zen who simply stared at you.

"Why didn't you tell them about Saeran?" he asked.

"I don't want Saeyoung to think he can just… do the same thing Saeran did and be in the other dimension. What if he fails? I have to… tread carefully with this information. I need to know Saeyoung has enough attachment here to not go after his brother."

"I see…" Zen said. "You're right. It's not an easy situation. I'll let you figure out how to handle that. For that matter, why didn't you tell me about Saeran before? If I had known, I would have taken better care of you. I wouldn't have left you alone. He wouldn't have tricked you into his car and… well, things may have been different. Why did you keep this from me?"

"Zen... I wanted to tell you but Luciel asked me not to. After all, none of you know his background, he is very secretive and he has his reasons. This was his secret to keep, not mine. I wouldn't keep anything from you but… Luciel wanted to help his brother and then introduce him to the RFA once he was ready. He didn't want you guys to meet him unstable and… messy. He wanted you all to accept him and like him for who he is. Despite what he did to me, Saeran is a nice guy, but he is troubled and needs help. I understand Luciel's reasons."

"I see…" Zen said, pulling you into his arms as he sat on the couch with you. He caressed your hair gently and drew circles on what was exposed of your skin - your arms, your neckline. "He didn't touch you, did he?"

"No, he didn't." you say, surrendering into his arms.

"Are you afraid of him in your dimension?" he asked, interlacing one of his hands with yours.

' No. Well, at first I might have been but he didn't know it was me then. Since… we'll, we talked a little. I think he's finally understood that my heart belongs to you and you alone. I think he thought he'd made me for him and felt… entitled to me. But now he knows better, thanks to Daria."

"Who is Daria?"

"A girl I met at the hospital. She was getting treatment at the same place I was in. She's a lovely girl with a broken heart" you say, thinking about her. You imagined going through what she went through and you knew your heart would be in the same place.

"The only thing that heals a broken heart is time" Zen said "And even then the scars stay with you forever."

You laid on the couch cuddling Zen for the next hour or so. He lifted your top and drew circles on your stomach with his fingers. He feigned talking to your child as he addressed your bellybutton with the sweetest things a father could say to his unborn baby. He referred to it as a girl and described her to you - she just looks like me Princess, she's beautiful. He had said, smiling. You laughed. He blew a raspberry on your neck and gently tickled you, forcing you try and wiggle your way out of his arms - not likely. He was built like a rock and he was much bigger and taller than you, you could never escape his grasp - and you didn't want to. He laid a kiss on your lips and you savored him, his citric, masculine scent and the softness of his hair when you ran your fingers through it. Kissing him was like nothing you had ever felt before - it completed a part of you you never knew was missing until you found him. You couldn't let him go. You could never let him go.

"I wish I had more" he said. "More time with you, more of your kisses, more of your smile, your eyes, your voice, it's just… I miss you all the time. Everything I do I do thinking of you. Would she like this? Would she want that? I wonder if you're eating well, if you're still nauseous when you smell food, if you're sleeping okay at night… this is what my life has come to every second of every day but for this - just this one hour with you I would spend a lifetime waiting,

"Zen…"

"That's why you can't do that. I can spend a lifetime waiting for you if I know you'll come back to me but I couldn't spend a lifetime knowing I'll never see you again. You can't risk it. The gamble is too great."

"I… I get it" you said, without many other words. It was as simple as that, and the same reason that you wouldn't let him attempt the same thing.

At that moment, there was a knock on the door. Zen got up, looked through the peephole, and opened the door. Ember rushed in, said hi to Zen, and went straight in your direction to give you a hug. You saw Seven quietly come through the door afterwards.

"MC, what took you so long? It's been a month!" Ember said.

"I can't control when I come here" you said, plainly put. Ember made a face that said fair enough and embraced you again.

"I'm so glad you're here and you're okay" she said, holding onto your hand.

"Me too" you add, happy to see your friend here. "Hey Luciel" you say, waving at the redhead. You couldn't help but notice his hair was much, much shorter than before and perhaps even slightly uneven. "That's... a new look" you say, pointing at the general location of your own hair.

"Yeah… I decided to cut it" Luciel say, running his hand through it, mindlessly. "Wanted a new look"

"Luciel, listen… I'm… I'm sorry about what happened" you say, walking over to him to offer him a hug. He took you in his arms but his embrace felt almost stiff - you wondered if it was because Zen was standing right next to the both of you. Despite whatever awkwardness might have been between you, you heard him whisper I'm sorry. It was a small thing but you knew the meaning behind it ran deep - He wasn't just apologizing for Saeran kidnapping you, he was apologizing for his failure at saving him. You let go of him and rubbed his arm - there was so much you wanted to say to him but you really wanted to talk to Ember first. His reaction to the news you had to share frightened you.

"Zenny… uh… why don't you go with Luciel to get us something to eat?" you ask - a shameless ploy to get Zen and Luciel out of the apartment and get some time alone with Ember. Zen's eyes narrowed - he could see through your ploy but ultimately he agreed to go get some food with Luciel. He grabbed him by the shoulders and dragged him out of the apartment. You wasted no time. You turned to Ember right away and just burst with the knowledge that had been gnawing at you from the moment you came back.

"Saeran is alive." You blurt out. You saw Ember's eyes widen in shock as she sat on the couch, dumbfounded.

"He… what? But he..." she stuttered.

"He's alive. I don't know how. He said he took too much of the elixir and woke up there"

"But I saw his body MC" Ember added. "I saw him"

"I'm telling you he is alive… and he's actually doing okay. He is getting treatment and… well, I think he might have found someone he cares about…

"That's… that's good to hear."

"I don't know if we should tell Saeyoung about it" you say, sitting next to Ember on the couch. "How has he been about Saeran's death? Zen tells me he's been having an onerous time of it. He doesn't look too bad… despite the haircut."

"It's been horrible MC… both for him and for me. I'm doing my best to keep him alive but one mistake and I... " Ember said, her voice trembling. "I left the scissors in front of him. I was stupid and left the room and… what you see now is the best I could do to hide the damage he did to himself"

"I'm worried he'll try to follow in Saeran's footsteps to get to him" you tell her. "We don't know that it'll work. Rika, I understand, is dead, and I've never seen or heard of her in our world."

"There's also 7 billion people on earth"

"And Saeran ended up in the same psych ward I did… nothing is a coincidence"

"Fair enough…" Ember said, resting her head on her hand. "Wait, why were you in the psych ward?"

You took a deep breath and did your best to summarize what was going on with your health while you traveled to this dimension. You explained your diagnosis, how they were treating you, and everything else that had been happening to you.

"I see" Ember says, fidgeting with her fingers.

"Ember… how did you end up here… permanently?" you asked her, afraid of her answer.

"I… I don't know. I went for a hike at the park and the creepy stalker found me and chased me down… I… I thought I might have a better chance of getting away if I jumped in the river… and then I woke up here"

"And you haven't gone back at all?" MC asked, perplexed. Ember shook her head no. There was an awkward silence - a silence that seemed to fill the room until MC broke it again. "Do you think you… died?"

"I… I don't know. I don't feel… I mean… I feel normal?"

"How are we here Ember? Have I just completely lost my mind? Am I just imagining everything?" you ask her, your voice full of confused anger.

"I… I don't think so MC. This is very real to me" Ember says.

'Ember, we're in a world where the characters of a dating game are real. I'm pregnant with Zen's child. How is this even possible? Have you seen Zen? No one that looks like that has the right to be real." you say and Ember couldn't help but to smile. The absurdity of the situation coated everything with a surreal vibe.

"I couldn't believe I was here either when I first got here but… here I am and here you are"

"Here were are…" you say, looking down at your hands. Everything that seemed to overwhelmed you was better because your best friend was here. There was always something about her that seemed to soothe your nerves, even in the worst of times. "I'm really glad you're here. It makes a world of difference for me. I know you've been taking care of Saeyoung but I know you've taken care of Zen too and… and I know that if this child make it and I'm not here, you will take care of her too" you say, your eyes filling with tears. You wiped them away and half-chuckled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get emotional on you"

"It's okay MC" Ember said, getting teary eyed as well. "You know I'm always here if you need me" she says. "And you know I'll love that child with all my heart"

"I know" MC says. Wiping away more tears. "Oh god, I better stop crying before Zen gets here. I don't want him to see me like this" you say, trying to compose yourself. You got up and grabbed a tissue and noticed Ember was absolutely quiet.

"Em… are you alright?"

"This has been really hard, MC." Ember says. "Seeing Saeyoung suffer the loss of his brother is like looking at a mirror of my past. I understand his pain so well that it is hard for me to convince him to… keep living. I can keep him alive, but he isn't living. How was it so easy for you to keep me going?"

"It wasn't easy." you tell her. "I just… I just tried my best to give you some normality and be there for you when you needed me… and I know that's what you're doing for Saeyoung. Eventually, he'll find something that will make him want to stay here… with you" you say. Ember's eyes dart in your direction. "I know you've always loved him. It must be killing you to see him like this". Ember nods but no words leave her mouth. "You will know better than me when is the right time to tell him about Saeran" you say.

"Oh, no. no no no" Ember says. "I can't. I can't be the one to tell him. We haven't developed that kind of relationship. He is so distant."

"You have to" you say. "You've spent a month living with him and you love him. You know him better than I do. I trust your judgement more than mine"

"No, MC, please. I can't"

"You have to-" The doors opened and Zen walked in with a couple of bags of take out food, followed closely by Saeyoung. The smell was intoxicating and delicious - you had not realized how hungry you really were until the smell hit you. Your eyes shot in Ember's direction but she knew to drop the subject now that the guys were back. Her eyes still pleaded with you but you knew this was for the best. She would be able to approach this with him better than you ever would.

"We're back" Zen said, stepping inside the apartment and putting the bags on the table. "Take-out from the best place in town. Sapporo."

The four of you sat down to enjoy the meal together. Despite everything that was happening you all made an effort to avoid the subject. Saeyoung was mostly quiet but at least he appeared to be listening to the conversation. Zen had a fantastic way to help steer the conversation into lighter subjects - and you loved him for it. You could tell this was a much needed break for Ember as well, she must have been exhausted and overwhelmed taking care of Seven. You caught her looking in Luciel's direction often, keeping an eye on him like a guardian angel… but when she was distracted by something Zen said and turned her eyes away, you caught Saeyoung staring back at her. It was only brief glances that, had you not been paying attention, you would have missed all together. Ember and Zen certainly hadn't noticed them, but they were there. When Zen told a funny story about something that had happened during rehearsals, Ember laughed… and Luciel smiled looking at her, watching her being happy. He doesn't even know it, but he is falling for her.

A few hours later, Ember and Luciel said their goodbyes and headed back to his place. You had been here for at least 9 hours now and you worried they'd notice at the psychiatric hospital that you had been 'sleeping' for this long. You helped Zen clean out the food and leftovers. While he finished washing the dishes, you headed for his room and laid down on the bed. You knew he'd join you as soon as he was done. As you laid there you couldn't help but be glad that Ember was here too. She had, much like you, fallen for someone who only existed in this reality. After everything she had been through, it was only fair that she would find otherworldly happiness. You closed your eyes and touched your abdomen, thinking about your baby - was Zen right? Was it a girl? A girl that looked like him. You imagined him as a father and immediately knew the role would suit him. You remembered the sparkle in his eyes when he had seen the baby's heartbeat on the ultrasound. If you went against Zen's wishes and ended your life… would you harm the baby? You could wait until it was born before trying anything…

"Princess?" he said, walking into the room and snapping you right out of your thoughts. "Are you alright?"

"I need to go back" you say, sitting up on the bed. "If I don't go back soon, they'll notice and give me more medication. I don't want these meds. They're not good for… for her"

Zen gave you an understanding nod and walked out of the room. You heard him shuffle in the bathroom for a minute and when he returned he was only wearing a pair of loose shorts. He laid on the bed behind you and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to his body.

"I know that the feelings we have towards each other can't be trapped in any dimension." he said, close to your ear. "My feelings for you have gotten so big I'm not sure I understand them anymore. It's like everything's better when you're around. I feel complete."

"I feel the same way" you say, turning around in his arms to face him. You laid a kiss on his lips - a loving kiss, a kiss that said you're everything I want and more. A kiss that was a testament of your love for each other, the evidence of a relationship that transcended all logical explanations of time, space, and sanity. And yet, it was nothing more than a kiss. This was the scope of your love for him. A love that had turned your life upside down. A love you would do anything for… even dying.