The phone had rang and gone straight to voicemail, once, twice. It was too early in the morning and anyone was likely still asleep. You looked nervously at the gas station attendant and smiled, hoping they wouldn't begin to feel uncomfortable with you abusing their hospitality.

"I can call you a cab if you prefer-" the girl offered, noticing no one was picking up on the other end of the line.

"Oh, thanks but I just moved out here and I don't remember the address."

"How did you end up here without a phone?" she asked, incredulous.

"I lost it last night. I… uh… got really drunk." her questions were starting to get on your nerves and the endless ringing of the phone made you anxious. Voicemail again. You hung up, frustrated.

"Try again, maybe this will finally wake whoever you're calling" she said. "If anything leave a voicemail and hang around, they might call back"

"Yeah, You're right" you said, but you were afraid to linger. You were still too close to the facility and they could find you here if they were looking for you. The police was probably involved, knowing your mother. The phone continued to ring and right when you thought it was going to land on voicemail again a groggy voice answered, uttering something similar to a hello.

"Hello? Hello?" you asked in disbelief, your heart jumping.

"Who is this?" you heard the voice say, it was a woman.

"Is Saeran there?"

"Who is this?" the voice sounded more awake now - it was Daria.

"Daria, it's MC, please put Saeran on the phone" you begged, trying to keep the urgency from your voice. You heard hesitance on her part but she reluctantly agreed. The girl behind the counter gave you a thumbs up and looked back at her magazine.

"MC?" you heard Saeran on the other line. An inkling of relief came over you - things might just work out.

The girl behind the counter took her phone back when you were done with the call. She had helped you give directions to the convenience store and Saeran promised he could get there in about 15 minutes. 15 excruciating minutes. You felt your heart ache with every second that passed and you were away from your daughter and away from Zen. What if they needed more milk? What if she didn't make it and you weren't there for her? What if you got caught and you were dragged back to the psych ward? No. You couldn't think like that. This had to work. It had to.

You saw a patrol car drive by the front of the convenience store and you held your breath. They moved on. You kept breathing. It felt like an eternity passed and any second could destroy any possibilities you might have. But you had to do it. It was the only way.

Eventually, Saeran made it to the store. You almost ran to him but you tried to keep a calm demeanor. Daria was with him and she greeted you fondly before driving away from the convenience store. You sat, crouching, on the back seat.

"How come your mom didn't pick you up?" Daria asked from behind the wheel.

"I... uhm, she is out of town" you said "they let me out earlier than expected so she wasn't here."

"It is really early. They usually let people out around 9am." Daria said, doing her best to focus on the road. "Do you have any prescriptions you need to pick up at the pharmacy?"

"No" you said, thinking you were free of all those meds, at least for now.

"Did they call them in?" she asked

"I think so. They said they would be ready tomorrow" hopefully you wouldn't be here tomorrow.

"She's going to spend the night with us" Saeran told Daria, as if it was a simple fact. "I agreed to keep an eye on her until her mother comes back into town". Daria nodded in understanding. You worried that she might ask questions you wouldn't know how to answer but she only asked if you needed clothes. You said you didn't have the key to your house, which wasn't a lie. The rest of the drive was fairly quiet, with the occasional comment about the weather and some other small talk.

You felt like you were burning on the inside.

It took everything you had not to break down in desperation. You didn't want to freak out Daria and risk her turning you in - Saeran was the only one who would understand your situation. You tried to keep your breathing steady. What if it didn't work? What if he hadn't worked on the elixir at all? Your chest felt heavy but you worked on controlling your breathing. Act natural, MC.

Daria pulled up to her house - though that was an understatement. It looked more like the mansion Jumin would have grown up in. The driveway in was almost half a mile after passing the gate. Once there, she gave you a quick tour of the house and basically told you the three of you were the only ones there.

"We had employees that lived her but I just have them come in a couple of times a week now. I prefer living alone." Daria had explained. She took you to a room with its own private bathroom that felt bigger than your entire house.

You would have enjoyed staying here if you weren't so desperate to leave.

"You probably want to have a shower, I know that's the first thing I do whenever they discharge me. I'm going to go back to sleep, it is still pretty early for me. I'm sure Saeran can make you something to eat if you're hungry."

"Thank you" you said, grateful that she had let you stay at her place, had not asked too many questions, and that, unbeknownst to her, she was going to leave you alone with Saeran. You saw him exchange a few words with her before she disappeared down the hallway and he closed the door behind her, leaving you two alone. You sat on the bed while trying to gather your thoughts and prepared yourself to ask him something that should never be asked someone else. While you gathered your thoughts, you saw him walk over to a chair across the bed and sit, staring at you without saying a word. He put his hand out in gesture that said 'I'm waiting, go ahead'.

"I need you to send me back. Permanently" you said, trying to find a gentle way to ask him, in so little words, to end your existence in this world. He nodded with a knowing look, as if he had known all along that this would be the first thing you asked as soon as you were out.

"I can't guarantee that it'll work" he said, his expression turning somewhat somber.

"I know."

"You'll have to die here and you might just die without staying in the other dimension"

"I'm willing to take the risk" you said, trying to sound confident but you knew deep down you were terrified of doing this.

"Are you sure? Don't you have family, friends, anything here that can make you reconsider this?"

"I can't… I can't think about her right now." you said, thinking of your mother. She would be devastated when she found out you had left the psych ward and you had died. You wish you could explain the whole situation to her but it seemed impossible - no one in their right mind would believe what had happened to you and you couldn't blame her. You hated to leave her like this but you knew that if she had to die to be with you, she would do it. It was that kind of love that she had shown to you that you had for your daughter now and you knew Miyoung needed you now more than ever.

"Maybe you should take some time to think things…"

"I can't" you interrupted. "I don't have time. The longer I wait the less important it is for me to be there."

"What happened? What's the urgency now?" he finally asked.

"I… I had a daughter" you manage to say, finally breaking down into tears. "She might die any minute now and I'm stuck here. I can't be here. I can't. She needs me. Zen needs me. I need them." you say between gasps and tears. You tried to wipe the tears away but your desolation forced them out faster than you could get rid of them with your bare hands.

"I see…" he said, walking in your direction. He offered you a tissue to wipe your tears "I wish I could understand your love for your daughter. I wish I had had a mother that showed me even an ounce of the love you have for your baby, so much that you're willing to take such a risk for her." he said, squatting at the edge of the bed, by your feet. You weren't sure where he was going with this. Had he changed his mind about helping you? Did he not believe you? Did he not understand at all? You knew the bad history he had with his abusive mother but you never thought he would be heartless enough to negate your feelings. Before you had a chance to say anything, he continued on.

"At first, I thought my chances of knowing love were destroyed because no one had ever loved me. My mother never loved me, my father would have me killed if he found me. I thought Rika might love me but now I know she only abused me and took advantage of me. V just watched me from afar while I suffered and never lifted a finger, even though he was supposed to care for me. The closest I thought was love came from my brother and even he abandoned me. And yet… I didn't lose hope. I thought there might still be someone with the capacity to love me. So I dreamed and I coded and I created a girl who I thought would love me no matter what… someone with such a big heart, someone who had so much love to give me that I would drown in it. My whole life I looked and I dreamed that I would find her and when I first saw you… and you looked exactly how I had programmed you, you sounded how I heard you in my dreams, I was convinced that my prayers for love were finally answered…" he stood up and sat on the bed next to you before continuing. You wanted to interrupt, to say something, but he asked you to let him finish with a sign from his hand. "I know this is not what you want to hear right now. I know. Trust me, I just need to get it off my chest." You nodded and anxiously waited. "I know I hurt you and I deceived you. I was so hurt that you would give your love to someone else, to the pretty boy from the RFA. I wasn't even good enough for the girl I had created in my dreams. I was angry. I felt betrayed, yet again. I thought that if you only knew me you would see that I was the right one. That you were made for me."

You tried to speak again but he stopped you.

"I saw you disappear in front of me when you left that dimension and in my despair I painfully became aware that you were not the one. The girl I had imagined would never leave me and I had no right to hurt you like I did. I was ashamed and angry that I had made such a mistake. I knew there was no return for me then so I did the only thing I that I thought would spare me from this life… and I took the elixir. I knew how much to take to knock someone out and I gave that to Saeyoung, just to keep him from stopping me. I took the rest, hoping to end my everlasting pain… and I dreamt of a new girl. A girl who would love me. A girl who had suffered like I had and would understand my pain... the right girl. And I found peace in the pain the elixir caused me and I..." he took a deep breath and looked away from you, almost in shame. After a few seconds he turned back to you and continued. "...I woke up here. And here you were again and yet you still were not the girl. But…" he said, stopping to a smile could creep on the corners of his lips. "But there she was… and I was able to find her." he said, with a gentle smile resting on his lips. "And you sent her to me. You were the path I had to take to find her. I finally know what true love is thanks to you, MC" he said. "And so now I know and I understand why you would do anything to go back to those you love so desperately." he looked at you and put his hand on your shoulder, affectionately. Despite his tender words, you knew your eyes offered only anguish. His next words, however, gave you the small solace you desperately needed:

"I don't know if this will work but I was able to replicate the elixir and I will help you"

Zen stood outside the NICU, his eyes fixated on his daughter through the glass window. A somber expression clouding his lovely face. He longuily stared at Miyoung in her little sterile plastic box. They had covered her eyes with gauze to keep the light from blinding her. Her skin was so translucent her eyelids couldn't protect her eyes. There was a new IV line providing antibiotics. The machine that showed her vitals had her temperature blinking in red - she had a fever. Early onset infection they had said, along with a lot of other medical terminology that he was unable to follow. The bottom line was that if she had had a 10% chance of making it before, it had drastically dropped to less than 1%. The nurses had all offered their condolences already. A feeling of utter impotence reeled through his veins, causing a whirlwind of emotions - anger, pain, desolation. The idea that she would be gone tonight was too much to bear. He just couldn't do this anymore.

He tightened his hands into fists to try and relieve some tension but it didn't help. He wanted to punch holes into every wall around him, but he knew in the end that wouldn't help either. He walked away from the NICU and headed outside the hospital. It was still dark out, but the sun would rise soon. He walked around, seemingly aimlessly around the hospital. He saw people gathered around the parking lot - men in suits and what looked like it could be police units. He turned and walked the other way. Eventually, he found a set of stairs on the outside of the building, probably the fire escape. He climbed up over the fence, disregarding the sign that said keep out. He went up, 3, 4, 5 stories high. He kept going. His heart rate went up and he could feel his body warming up with the cardio. He was in such good shape, however, that he reached the roof, some 10 stories up, without yet breaking a sweat.

The roof of the hospital was empty. There was a door that appeared to be locked but he didn't bother to check it. He sat at the edge of the roof, his legs dangling down the entire height of the building. He pulled the things from the pockets of his jacket and stared at the things his old friend had brought over - the ingredients he needed to make the elixir. He still had a picture of the recipe saved in his phone, all he had to do was put it together. He checked his other pockets and found an old box of cigarettes, only one left with the lighter still in the box. He hadn't worn this jacket in a few months, not since he had sworn off smoking for MC.

He lit the fucking cigarette.

It was the best he'd felt in the last few hours. MC was gone, who knew when she would come back. His daughter was very likely to die tonight.

He took a deep drag of the cigarette and contemplated the things to make the elixir. He pulled the picture of the recipe on his phone and confirmed he had everything.

He finished the cigarette and got to work. A few minutes later, he had about half a bottle of a light blue liquid that smelled like perfume.

He drank every last drop of it.

As he finished it, he almost hurled it back up. It didn't seem to have any sudden effect. Nothing other than make him nauseous. The flavor was probably the worst thing he had ever had and it was very difficult to swallow. At least it didn't smell too bad.

He stood up and walked around. He felt fine. He headed towards the door and to his surprise it opened to a staircase. Zen walked downstairs and soon enough he was in the hallway of the 10th floor of the hospital. He found an elevator and headed to the NICU again.

When the elevator stopped, he felt dizzy for a second but recovered quickly. He walked the hallways and found the familiar doors he had been walking through since Miyoung was born. He finally reached the window where he could see her from afar - her little body was very still but there, barely noticeable, was an ounce of her shallow breathing. A nurse came over and checked her vitals, but her face only look sad as she did. She touched the corner of the box and when she looked up she saw Zen standing behind the window. The nurse walked over to the door, told him to wash up and to 'put on a pair of those scrub tops in the first drawer' and come in.

Zen did as he was told. The nausea was slightly more noticeable now.

When he took off his jacket and his sweater he felt dizzy again and it took longer to recover. Was the elixir finally taking effect?

He walked into the NICU and the nurse had him sit on a recliner chair that she had moved next to Miyoung's incubator.

"Try and stay still" the nurse said. She put the blanket that Ember had brought around Miyoung and very gently lifted her out of the incubator. Using both her hands she could completely cover Miyoung's little body. She turned around and placed her gently on Zen's chest.

"I didn't know I was allowed to…" Zen began but the nurse waved him off as she put the blanket on top of her. She was so light. The small movements of her hands and legs felt like butterfly wings caressing his skin.

"If we don't expect the baby to survive, we'd rather their last minutes be in the arms of their parent rather than hooked to an incubator" the nurse said, making sure all the cables attached to Miyoung had not disconnected "It is also somewhat of a last resort - it is called Kangaroo care. Sometimes the babies react positively to skin to skin contact."

Zen nodded gently, trying to commit to memory what it felt to have his daughter laying on his chest. He rested his head on the back of the chair and felt immediately lightheaded. He was glad that the recliner laid him almost completely horizontal and he didn't have to worry about holding on to Miyoung. He was terrified that the slightest touch could hurt her paper thin skin. She laid perfectly on his chest, the only noticeable movements were her quick breaths and the gentle up and down of his own breathing.

His eyes closed, ever so slowly. A pain began to creep up in his abdomen but he dared not move with Miyoung on his chest. He remembered Luciel mentioning how much his stomach hurt after taking the elixir and suddenly a pounding started in his head. It felt as if the room had gotten a few degrees hotter.

I have to stay still.

His chest felt heavy, not because his daughter laid on it, but because it hurt to take deep breaths. He felt sweaty and chills ran down his spine. Had he developed a fever?

I can't move, Miyoung…

He closed his eyes. Every muscle in his body ached to change the position he was in, to try and find comfort, to roll onto his side and clench his abdomen. To throw up the elixir he had taken. He felt Miyoung's hands move on his chest. If the elixir was going to work, this is how he chose to go.

I won't move, Miyoung...

Slowly, Zen succumbed into a feverish slumber as Miyoung lied upon him.

Zen woke up in a place he had woken on many times before. That empty room with the foggy glass window, separating him from what he dreamed about the most. As he had done before, he walked up to the glass and touched it - it was as solid as it had ever been. Odd noises came from the other end - voices. Voices he had never been able to decipher. And just as it had been before, a dark shape stood close enough to the glass that he could make the shape of her.

Her.

His MC.

He had yelled at the glass before, punched it, tried to break it, tried to find an edge or a door or anything that could possibly lead him through the glass… but he could never reach her. And she always stood there, perfectly blind and deaf to his calls for her.

"MC" he whispered. He leaned his forehead against the cool glass and hoped this wasn't where the elixir would leave him for eternity. It would be too cruel to feel her within his reach, yet never touch her, never hear her voice, never smell her hair.

This was his least favorite recurring dream of MC.

Zen sat on the floor, leaning against the wall opposite to the glass so at least he could see her shape, just standing there.

Please don't let this be eternity. He hoped, but this dream never changed. She always stood there, like a perfect mannequin, forever still and unreactive.

He was so used to seeing her so still he almost missed it when she bent her arm. He squinted his eyes and focused on her figure, he had seen it so many times in this dream he could draw her perfectly from memory.

Then she moved again. It was subtle, just a twitch of her head, but it was enough to make Zen's heart leap from his chest. She moved.

He jumped from the floor and rushed closer to the glass, staring at her intently. He could see her silhouette as usual but perhaps she looked more… solid than she ever had before. And then she moved again, this time her arm spread out around her, as if she couldn't see anything. She took a step forward, away from where he was, and her body instantly seemed more subtle around the fogginess of the glass.

Zen did the only thing he could think of and banged on the glass with all his might. She had never heard him, seen him, or reacted to him in this dream but she had never moved either. He screamed and kicked and while he had any strength left in him he would punch his way through the thick glass if he could reach her. Yet she only walked even further away. It was no use, she had never been able to see or hear him through this glass. He saw her take a step further and he screamed her name, to no avail.

Just as he began to sink into despair, an old advice came to his head: You are the Strength. You must nurture and help her on this path and it will help you both… Separate self interest from wisdom. You know better than to be selfish. Reconnect your soul to the spiritual plane. HELP HER.

Madame Stella's words rang through his ears, as if she was speaking to him. Reconnect your soul…

Zen closed his eyes and pressed his hands to the glass. It was slightly cold to his touch. He did his best to clear his mind and he called out to MC. He tried to push his thoughts, his heart, his soul, and everything he would give to just beg her to walk in his direction. He pushed the image of their daughter, of their time together, of the life he dreamed they'd always have. The life he refused not to have beside her.

When Zen opened his eyes, MC was standing right across from him. He could see her face clearly and the tears streaming down her face. There was a desperation in her eyes, as if she was trying to find her way out but could not see it.

Be her strength,

He pushed his thoughts into her again and pressed his hands harder onto the glass, as if he could just materialize through it. He pushed thoughts of Ember and Saeyoung, and the rest of the RFA members and her hands moved towards the glass hesitantly. She was so close.

In the end, he pushed himself towards her. His heart, his love, and the way he felt when she looked at him. The way she smiled with his words and the twinkle in her eyes after he had kissed her.

Finally, she touched the glass.

Unlike his hands, hers seemed to go through the glass as if it was a thick melting wax. But as soon as her fingers passed through the thickness of that solid wall, he touched her fingers and he could see her expression changed as she tried to frantically push the rest of her hands and arms through.

Once her hands were in his side, he held them and tried to gently help her push herself through. Inch by inch she slowly made her way through the thick wall until she stood completely on his side. Zen couldn't help but pull her into his arms and hold her close.

"I heard you calling me" she said, holding onto him. "I'm here. I'm here" she kept saying, her voice quiet, yet shaky.

"Are you alright?" Zen said, pulling her away to look into her face.

"I'm fine, I'm here" MC said, giving him a smile. "I'm finally here"