Kate woke the next morning and for a single blissful moment, laying in her lover's arms, early morning sunlight catching and drifting over them both through the slightly cracked curtains, she didn't remember.
For that one pure second, her brain didn't churn with the memories of another alley years before, the young occupant and all she'd left behind.
Her consciousness wasn't interrupted by the look of glazed emptiness in the woman just shy of her own age in a alley the day before.
She wasn't assaulted by the horror that her little sister, a part of her bloodline, part she was only just acquainted with, was alone and frightened where not even her super cop big sister could reach her.
For one blissful moment, Kate Beckett was free.
But blissful moments can only last so long before reality kicks them into touch.
She was bombarded with every feeling and memory that the night before had brought forth and she suddenly felt as if she couldn't breathe.
This wasn't meant to be like this.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
She'd made a deal with the devil incarnate to ensure the safety of her family and yet, there was always another monster.
Another demon determined to take all she held dear and rip them from her.
Kate was strong, stronger than most, but there was only so much damage one heart could take.
Rick was there in an instant. He gently drew her shuddering form into his chest and kissed the top of her head, leaving his face buried in her hair.
"We'll find her Kate. The entire precinct will be looking for her by now. Best of the best. We'll get her home." Kate breathed him in deeply, searching for inner calm.
"I want her to live with us. Properly, permanently. Dad won't cope with a kid, let alone another daughter, and I won't have her in the system Rick." She turned to face him, determination singing from her watery gaze. "I won't ask for anything else, I just, I need you to agree to this." Castle gently cupped her cheek and kissed her softly.
"It was never a question in my head Beckett. She's staying here. And you can ask for as many things as you like, I will never hold this one against you." Kate kissed him then, deep and tender, trying to convey her gratitude when words weren't enough.
"Thank you." Rick held her close and palmed the back of her head. He didn't reply, didn't have to.
They headed to the precinct after they had gotten ready, unable to do more than respond on autopilot at this point. Rick tried to ignore the looks and whispers that followed them to the homicide floor, knowing they meant well, but Kate couldn't even tell him what colour shirt she was wearing if he asked. She had blinkers on, focused solely and completely on finding her baby sister.
They stepped onto the floor and Kate stopped dead.
She'd almost forgotten that as well as Nevaeh's disappearance last night, she refuses to say 'abduction' -even subconsciously- until she knows it beyond all reasonable doubt, far too terrifying; they also found Hannah's body.
Her photo on the board is something that hurts Kate deeper than she thought it would.
Rick gently curled his hand at the base of her spine, urging her forward and offering silent support, eternally grateful that Nevaeh's disappearance is on a board without pictures. Neither of them could handle having her smiling back at them but he honestly thought it would be the straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back on Kate's tentative hold of her composure.
The entire floor was a hive of activity. Ryan was the first to notice them. He shot Rick a sympathetic look before getting back to his phone call. Esposito looked up from his computer and spotted them both, giving a half nod before getting back.
"Rick, Kate, what are you doing here?" Gates asked softly, coming to stand in front of them. Rick gave her a wan smile but Kate didn't move, her gaze seemingly transfixed on the words 'Nevaeh Tyler' on the board across from them. "Detective?" The Captain hardened her voice slightly, making it back to how she normally addressed the woman. It worked, Kate's attention snapped to her Captain. "What are you doing here?" The older woman asked slowly, not patronising, merely taking into account Kate's state of mind.
"I couldn't stay away." She stated flatly. It was the truth, Kate could barely be away from the precinct and an open case at the best of times, but it broke both Rick and Gates' hearts. "Any progress?" There was no emotion in her voice, but the hope in her eyes was almost childlike.
"I'm sorry." Gates shook her head. Kate nodded. "We haven't stopped looking. Karpowski's team have taken the homicide so your team can search." Rick shot her a grateful smile.
"Can I stay, please?" Kate begged. It was uncharacteristic, the desperation and desolation in her tone, the tiny gem of hope in her eyes, the catch in her voice, but everyone understood. No one even thought of mentioning it.
Gates hesitated and found herself looking to Castle for his input. Rick shrugged.
"She can't just sit waiting by the phone sir, neither of us can. I appreciate that we can't investigate, but there's got to be something we can do. Pacing the loft waiting isn't doing anyone any good." Rick spoke softly, an age in his voice well beyond his years. Gates sighed and nodded, relenting with a sad smile. "Thank you." She nodded once more and went back to work.