CH 22

"Sabrina? Girl, get up." Felix said shaking her by the shoulders.

Sabrina sprang up from the bench she was laying on and began looking around the locker room to remember where she was. "Felix? Oh, I must have fallen asleep" She said rubbing her eyes.

"Obviously. Girl, this night shift is killing you. I don't know how you're doing it." Felix replied opening his locker.

"Didn't really have a lot of other choices" Sabrina said trying to get her bearings. It had been a few weeks since her breakup with Patrick and she was still doing all she could to avoid him completely. Including volunteering for the shift that all other nurses avoided like the plague. It was the best way not to run into Patrick or Robin who had recently come back to work. Unfortunately in avoiding Patrick, she also hadn't seen Emma either. It broke Sabrina's heart just thinking about how confused she must be, but she kept telling herself how much better off Emma was with her mother. And Sabrina was doing all she could not to think about it by keeping herself busy. She spend her nights in the ER and her days either sleeping or at Sonny's house. Not only had she become closer with her recently found father, she was also developing a close friendship with Ethan who was still living with him. It was a friendship that she was quickly beginning to rely on. Ethan made Sabrina laugh when all she wanted to do was cry.

"It's crazy" Felix said shutting his locker "I live with you and this is probably the first time I've seen you in days."

"Wait a minute. What time is it?" Sabrina asked.

"It's a little before 9. Well past the end of your shift by the way."

"Oh my god. I have to get out of here" Sabrina gathered her belongings in a hurry knowing that Patrick's shift was going to start soon. She wasn't in any mood for that awkward confrontation. "I'll see you later, Fe" She called back already out of the locker room door. Sabrina fumbled around with her cellphone as she walked through the halls and saw that she had a missed text message from Ethan. She clicked on the notification to read it but before she could she heard a tiny voice call out to her.

"Sabrina!" She looked up towards the elevator and saw Emma running towards her full speed. When Emma reached Sabrina she threw her arms around her legs with a force that almost knocked her over.

"Emma… Uh… Hi sweetie." Sabrina said patting the top of her head. She looked back towards the elevator to see Patrick, Robin and Anna slowly walking in her direction as well.

"Hello, Sabrina." Anna said once they reached her.

"Hello, Commissioner" She replied. She exchanged glances with Patrick and Robin before looking down at Emma who was still clinging on to her legs.

"Where have you been?" Emma asked looking up Sabrina with sadness in her eyes.

"I um… " Sabrina was looking for the words to try to explain to Emma what she couldn't even explain to herself.

"Remember" Patrick interrupted "We talked about this. About how me, you and your mom are going to spend more time together now that she's home. As a family."

Emma looked over to Patrick and then back to Sabrina "But you're my family too, right? You promised."

"Oh Ems" Sabrina kneeled down so that she was eye level with Emma and took her hands "I know this is really confusing for you. And I know I haven't been around lately and I'm really sorry about that. That wasn't fair to you. I'm so sorry."

"I forgive you. Can you come home now?" Emma said with tears in her eyes.

Sabrina again looked up at Patrick who was fighting tears of his own. He wanted to beg her to come home too. He wanted to tell her how empty their house was without her. How empty his bed was. He wanted to tell her that she was the missing part to their family, but he couldn't.

"Emma…" Sabrina began.

"Mija!" Emma interrupted.

Sabrina looked down at their hands and took a deep breath "Emma…"

"No! Mija! You call me Mija!" She cried.

Sabrina stood up and turned away to hide her anguish.

"Emma come here" Patrick said bending down to her level "I know you're sad that Sabrina isn't around anymore, but this is something I need you to be a big girl about ok? Sabrina isn't going anywhere. Maybe we can schedule some time for the two of you to hang out. If that's ok…?" He looked to Sabrina who had finally turned back to face them.

"Yeah, that would be great" She said trying to sound upbeat.

"Would you like that?" Patrick asked Emma.

Emma crossed her arms in front of her and put her head down but didn't respond. She wasn't as confused as all the adults around her thought she was. She understood exactly what was going on. They were swapping out one mother for the other. And no one was bothering to ask her how she felt about any of it.

"Ok, I think I'm going to drop her off in daycare. Come on Emma." Anna said taking her hand as they headed towards the elevator.

"Sabrina… I'm sorry about that" Patrick said.

"No, its fine. She's just a kid. I don't expect her to understand adult problems." She replied wiping tears from her eyes.

"She loves you a lot" Robin whispered. It was the first time she had spoken since they arrived at the hospital. She wasn't sure what to say exactly. The past few weeks hadn't gone the way she hoped they would. Patrick was still stalling about having her move back into the house and Emma wasn't exactly taking her return as well as she hoped she would. Seeing the love in her husband's eyes every time he looked at Sabrina was one thing. Seeing the same look on her daughters face was enough to crush Robin's soul. And now she was finding out of the first time that Sabrina was actually living with them in her house. A fact that Patrick was conveniently keeping from her.

"I love her too" Sabrina said watching Emma and Anna wait for the elevator.

As if Emma could feel Sabrina looking at her, she turned her head and they locked eyes. She pulled her hand away from Anna and took a few steps back in Sabrina's direction. "Sabrina?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"To the stars and back?" She asked.

Sabrina tilted her head back to try and stop the tears "Oh, Mija. To the stars and back." She replied falling to her knees

Without warning Emma bolted into Sabrina's awaiting arms and threw her arms around her neck. She was her family. She was her home. She was the only mother she could remember.

Sabrina tried her best not to let her emotions take over her but was losing. She wrapped her arms around Emma as tight as she could without hurting her. "Listen to me ok" She said when they finally pulled apart. "You be a good girl for your mommy and daddy ok?" To which Emma simply nodded her head. "That's my girl. Go ahead with Grandma Anna now. I'll see you later. I promise."

Emma smiled knowing that Sabrina never breaks her promises and walked over to Anna. She turned back to Sabrina and gave a quick wave before boarding the elevator. The second the doors closed, Sabrina broke down in tears. She turned to hold herself up with the edge of the counter at the nurses' station. Saying goodbye to that little girl was the single hardest thing she'd ever done in her life. Harder than even saying goodbye to Patrick. Nothing hurt like this.

"Sabrina…" Patrick said placing his hand on her shoulder. All he wanted to do was pull her into his arms.

"I'm fine. Please don't…" She said recoiling away from his touch.

"I'm sorry, I just…" Patrick's voice trailed off before he could say what he really wanted to say. That he wanted to take her pain away regardless of the fact that it was somewhat self-inflicted.

Sabrina turned back around once she had regained her composure and saw Ethan coming off the elevator.

Ethan began to slowly approach Sabrina, Patrick and Robin and could tell something wasn't right. "Hey… you ok?" He asked Sabrina.

She looked at him for a moment and a feeling of relief came over her. She had never been so happy to see him in the few months they had known each other. Without responding to his question, she simply walked into his arms. She held on tighter than she probably should have and buried her head in his chest.

Ethan slightly taken aback returned the gesture and began to rub Sabrina's back in support. "Hey, it's ok." He whispered and placed a kiss on the top of her head. He looked over at Patrick as he watched them with a look on his face that was a combination of hurt and pure rage. It was a look that Robin noticed as well.

"I'm sorry" Sabrina said pulling away from Ethan's arms. "I didn't mean to ambush you like that."

"It's ok" He replied wiping away a stray tear from her cheek. "Want to tell me what's going on?"

Sabrina looked over to Patrick and Robin then back to Ethan "Not really. What are you doing here anyway? Are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Just had to get my stitches out. I texted you earlier, you didn't get it?"

"Yeah, I did but I didn't get a chance to read it Things got a little… complicated." She said lowering her head.

"You know what you need?" Ethan asked taking her hands into his.

"No, what?"

"Sleep!" He laughed. "Would you mind if I drive you home? I don't want you on the road like this."

"Yeah, your right. I would appreciate that." She smiled as they walked towards the elevator.

Robin followed Patrick's eyes as he watched them disappear behind the closing doors. "Patrick?" She said lightly touching his arm.

"I have patients." He said abruptly. He turned and walked away leaving Robin alone by the nurses' station. He was hoping to get away before Robin could see the looking of seething jealousy on his face, but failed.

Ethan opened the door for Sabrina as they arrived back at her apartment 20 minutes later. She walked in and threw her keys on coffee table and sank onto the sofa.

"Whatever I walked in on at the hospital, it was that bad huh?" Ethan asked.

"Yeah it was. You had just missed Emma."

"Oh. That must have been tough."

"Clearly" she chuckled "I'm a bit of a hot mess as Felix would put it."

"Well it probably doesn't help that you've been up for almost 24 hours. You really should get some rest. I'll call you later." He said turning to leave.

"Ethan, wait." She replied. "Can you just… can you stay with me for a while? Just until I fall asleep?"

Ethan turned back and saw the agony in her face that he wanted to so badly to remove. He would do anything she asked him to do. "Sure" He smiled. He walked back over to the couch and sat down next to her. Sabrina removed her shoes and laid down in his arms using his chest as a pillow. Ethan stretched out and wrapped his arms around her body. He gently stroked the hair away from her face and allowed his mind to wander off. He envisioned that she was his .That she was in his arms because she wanted him, not because she was in pain over another man. He imagined he could be the man to make her happy again if she would only let him. He fantasized about the life that they could share together if she would just consider the possibility. Ethan would never hurt her. Never chose anyone else over her. Never take her for granted. He would love and protect her with his life just as he had done that day at the court house.

"Thank you" Sabrina whispered as if she were reading his mind.

"Anytime" He replied breathing in the scent of her hair.

Sabrina shifted a little before finally falling asleep to the sound of Ethan's heartbeat. After a few minutes, he thought about leaving but he couldn't. He didn't want to let her go. There was no place he'd rather be at that moment. He fell back into his fantasies of them as she lay sleeping in his arms. He spent the next few hours doing nothing other than listening to her breathe.