X
wandering out into the sea of streetlights, calling up everyone I know
trying our best to keep our monsters inside, nobody wants to be alone
but tonight, we're all believers
- Magic Man
X
Santana was in that foggy in between space, half awake and half dreaming when she felt the mattress beneath her dip and felt soft, gentle kisses against her bare back, trailing their way from the base of her spine to the back of her shoulders.
''Waaaaaaaake up,'' Brittany softly sang, nuzzling into dark hair.
''Mmmmmmmm, no wanna wake up.''
''You don't want to eat?'' Brittany asked, continuing to stroke Santana's back.
''No, want sleep,'' Santana answered like a cave woman.
Brittany tried another tactic. ''I'm not wearing any underwear right now.''
Santana raised her head and turned around, intrigued, but quickly found it to be a fib. ''Liar,'' she said, heartbroken that the blonde was in fact not naked from the waist down. She then let out a tiny wail, like a small animal before burying her face into a pillow and making her body go fetal, attempting to cocoon herself with the duvet so as to block out any and all light from her vision.
''Wait, where are you going? I had a question for you,'' Brittany laughed at Cranky Morning Santana. All wild haired, disoriented and bleary-eyed. ''My aunt Jennifer and Justin and I were going to meet up today. I wanted to see if you wanted to tag along maybe. We were going to visit the botanical gardens.''
Santana, who was now nothing more than a large lump beneath the bed coverings, made no movement or response. Brittany tugged the blanket away slightly to find Santana's face. It was in a peaceful, sleeping, relaxed state that would have been absolutely breathtaking - except for the tiny bit of dried drool on her cheek. Brittany reached forward and gently scratched the dried white residue off which made Santana open her eyes.
''What are you doing?''
''You have drool crusties, I'm getting them,'' Brittany answered, making sure to get all of it before laying at her side.
''What time is it?''
''Half past eleven.''
Santana grumbled and turned over onto her back.
''So do you wanna come with?''
''Eh, I think I'll sit this one out.''
''Are you sure? They won't mind you coming along.''
''Yeah, go do some family bonding.''
''I can still do that with you.''
''Sure you could, but they should get you all to themselves once and awhile too. Enjoy your family, this trip is about them after all.''
''Admit it...you just don't want to get out of bed.''
''No, I mean it. Go have fun and I'll find some way to entertain myself today.'' Santana reached for her phone on the bedside table and tapped at the screen for a few seconds before tossing it aside. ''Like see, according to this text apparently Mercedes accused Berry of not being musically versatile which resulted in Rachel trying to prove otherwise by creating a mashup of Akon's Smack That and Seal's Kiss From A Rose and posting the finished product on Facebook - that was like days ago and I've yet to leave a comprehensive, miles long review in which I detail how unbelievably shitty it is. So, you know, there are pressing things I've been putting off.''
''Hey, I heard it and it was a moving performance,'' Brittany said sarcastically.
''That and I might go for a run. Maybe call Quinn.''
''Make sure she makes Lord Tubbington attend his Sexoholics Anonymous meetings.''
''Yeah-yeah-yeah.''
''I'm serious. The last time he fell off the wagon he went on a crazy sex bender and fathered like seven litters of kittens in our neighborhood. You wouldn't believe what he has to pay each month in child support.''
''You need to get that boy fixed is what you need to do.''
''You try telling him that. I really thought he would change after he was forced to go on The Maury Povich Show to do that paternity test, but he learned nothing.''
''You are the father,'' Santana said, doing her best Maury impression right down to the inflection, which made Brittany break out into giggles.
''Well, I'll let you get back to your beauty sleep. Justin's on his way to pick me up.''
''Mmm'k.''
''I'll see you later. Don't sleep all day.''
Brittany gave her a kiss on the nose and then her shoulder, then her cheek and chin until she was slipping herself beneath the covers. Santana watched as Brittany's form moved beneath the covers, smiling down, even though she couldn't see what the blonde was doing she could feel her mouth kissing her everywhere, waking her up in every sense.
''Wha-ow-hey!'' Santana exclaimed, pulling the covers up to see what was going on. ''What are you doing down there? Did you just bite the side of my ass?''
''Sorta….maybe….yeah. It looked really good, I had to.''
Santana laughed. ''You better get out of here before I make it impossible for you to leave this bed.''
''Fine, I'm really going this time.''
Brittany gave her thigh a parting kiss before she got up and toddled out of the room. Santana heard the sliding door open and close not too long later.
She was unsuccessful at getting back to sleep though so she chose to wander into the living area. She channel-surfed for a good half hour before giving up on TV and connecting her phone to the beautiful Bang and Olufsen bluetooth speaker system that was set up near the computer area. She set it on random and decided that maybe it was time to search through every nook and drawer in this place.
It was kind of a thing she did.
Her search however yielded nothing wildly entertaining. She found a couple of gay male porn tapes collecting dust in the back of a dresser drawer, a slightly dinged up Fender guitar in a hardcase at the back of a closet space and a small photo album simply titled 'Gus' with a bunch of baby pictures in it. The only find that was of even mild interest to her was a wooden box underneath the bed. It was about the size of a shoe box and locked. She worked her magic on it and within seconds popped it open.
Score.
Inside there were several really good, really nice cigars. But there was also a few other things that caught her eye. She picked up what looked to be a black bracelet with shells all around it, the thread looked worn and slightly faded. She ran her thumb over the shells smooth surface and stopped only when she felt a couple of small indentations which upon closer examination turned out to be tiny, barely noticeable carvings. B.K. was initialed into one of the shells. There was something about it, about the markings and the weight of it in her hands that made touching it feel weirdly intimate.
It was Brian's obviously, and it must have had some kind of significance to him to have been tucked away in this container, safely secured. She carefully placed it back and poked around in the box further and found an old photo of Brian and Michael as teenagers and a sonogram with the name Gus again written on the back. She set them aside when she came across a small black box. She was surprised at what she found when she flicked it open.
Two simple but elegant wedding bands.
She couldn't help the half smile that came over her.
Justin, she could see him wanting marriage and a family, but Brian? From what little time she spent with him...it was hard for her to see him as husband material. They made such an odd mismatched pair. She wondered how long the rings had been in the box and if whoever had bought them had ever been brave enough to ask the other.
She wondered if the person who bought them ever planned to take them out and put them to use, or if they would spend the rest of time sitting in a box under a bed. She felt kind of bad having to put them back into hiding, not that she was interested in swiping them or anything. Just that, they had obviously once meant something to someone and, well, rings were meant to be worn.
She shook her head.
This wasn't her business and she wasn't a sap. She shut the ring case and put everything back into the wooden box, but allowed herself to swipe a single cigar from the stash. She retired back to the living area and the large couch and lit up as Amy Winehouse's You Know I'm No Good began playing through the speakers.
X
''Oh my goodness,'' Jennifer Taylor sighed as she took in the sight of her niece, ''Brittany, sweetie, I can't believe how grown up you look, ohhhh.''
Brittany laughed as she was soon enveloped by a hug from the older woman who had insisted that they make a day of it and so the three were now congregating at small cafe that Justin and his mother often frequented when he was home. They had been there for a good fifteen minutes and had still yet to sit down because Jennifer couldn't stop doting on Brittany, hugging her every five seconds.
Brittany's grammy and gramps had always liked to tell her that her mom Susan was the wild, carefree, adventurous one but her mother's sister - aunt Jennifer - was always the safe, predictable, timid one. The one who preferred to color inside the lines. And while Justin's mother Jennifer had always possessed a certain warmth and inviting nature Brittany thought her aunt had never been more vibrant, attractive and full of life more than ever now that she was living life on her own terms and out of her unhappy, unhealthy marriage to Justin's father, Craig, who as far as Brittany was concerned was a total judgmental asshat who could never be happy with anything anyone ever tried to do.
Brittany's own family functioned differently. Her own folks, Andrew and Susan, had always supported and encouraged their children to embrace the things that made them different. Her parents welcomed any and all imperfections and differences because their goal wasn't to raise perfect reflections of themselves as if their children were trophies, no, but to nurture truly unique human beings because they thought that was a gift to the world. They wanted their daughters to grow up to be honest individuals.
Brittany had never taken delight in other's hurt or misery, but years ago when she learned aunt Jen was divorcing Craig and choosing the emotional well being of her children and herself rather than staying with him...well, she felt a great deal of relief. Now that she was out from her ex-husband's thumb, Jennifer's relationship with her own children flourished and grew and they were the strongest they had ever been now that they didn't have someone pushing them down.
Brittany was glad for her aunt as well as Justin who was finally able to see his mother happy and thriving.
''You're as tall as a tree,'' Jennifer noted Brittany's stature, ''and so, so beautiful. Justin, isn't she beautiful?''
Justin smiled at his mother's astonishment. This was the fourth time she had asked him the same exact question. ''She's stunning, yes.''
''Thank you,'' Brittany said to them both.
The three of them eventually managed to order and have a seat and Jennifer promptly requested to be filled in on everything Brittany related. Her friends, her cheerleading, her extracurriculars and hobbies. Brittany was happy to oblige and answer and Justin was pleased that for once he wasn't on the receiving end of these questions, many of which he had once had aimed at him during his high school days.
''My, you're just a social butterfly aren't you. The school newspaper, cheerleading, glee club,'' Jennifer said, impressed after Brittany had shared with them about her interests.
''Britt here told me she was even thinking about running for senior class president this coming school year,'' Justin added.
''Really?'' the older woman perked up.
Brittany did a little half-shrug. ''I doubt I'll actually do it though. There are a couple of other people I know who have mentioned they might run as well. People with the grades and experience. Against them I don't see anyone taking me seriously.''
''Nonsense,'' Jennifer said. ''Honey, don't ever let anybody's ideas or notions hold you back. With your fearless spirit and attitude you could really make a difference. There's nothing you can't do.''
''That's what I told her,'' Justin said, stealing a piece of Brittany's spongecake and popping it into his mouth. ''I think starting the first GSA at my high school was important, but looking back I wish I had dabbled in student government too. Who knows what else I could've changed from within, Britt. If you have that chance and it's something you want to try, you should go for it.''
Brittany tilted her head in consideration and smiled gratefully at their encouragement.
They believed in her, they had faith in her, they saw her as more than a silly blonde. They might be Taylors on paper, but in their hearts they were Pierces and Pierces knew that if you set your mind on something, anything was possible. Even if she failed, even if nothing came of it, it was something she really wanted to try. Maybe if she went for it and ran her campaign and showed the students of McKinley that deep down everyone was a little bit weird, quirky and queer in their own unique and wonderful way she could start something. She could show everyone that the sooner we evolve and understand each other on the smallest and simplest of scales, the sooner we can establish change in the larger picture. That small towns didn't have to breed small mindedness, that their community was better and more complex than that.
She had something to say and maybe it was time she finally say it and maybe running for senior class president was the platform that would allow her to do so.
''Maybe there are other students who perhaps have a better background in student government,'' Justin conceded gently, ''but there's one thing I'm certain you have that they do not. Magic, Britt. You have it more than anyone else I've ever known. When you have something like that, you can't hide it or hold it all to yourself. The universe needs people like you to set the world on fire.''
''You really think I could do it?'' Brittany asked, looking to her two relatives in turn.
''Absolutely,'' Jennifer said automatically.
''Without a doubt,'' Justin added.
X
Donned in workout leggings, a tank top and her favorite aviators Santana found herself jogging through Liberty Avenue.
It wasn't her intention to pass through it when she left the loft to go for a run that afternoon, but after forty minutes of cardio and a few turns here and there she had landed right smack in the middle of it all once again.
The interesting thing about the neighborhood is that in the daylight, it looked like every other bustling city street. There were shops and restaurants and street vendors...the only thing that made it any different was the abundance of same sex couples happily strolling about, hands linked openly and affectionately. Men together, women together. She noticed a few couples even kiss each other without hesitance, worry or shame.
She'd never seen a place quite like this. So full of life, excitement and understanding. Liberty Avenue was more than a gay Sesame Street. It was a haven.
She was stopped at a corner, jogging in place as the music from her earbuds propelled her to keep her heart rate going when out of nowhere one bud was pulled away and she was suddenly subjected to street noise as well as the world's second most annoying sound. The first being that of Rachel Berry's giant, annoying mouth, the second of course being Debbie's loud, exuberant, scratchy voice.
The woman was a character and Santana could appreciate the lady's I-don't-take-shit-from-anyone attitude, but that voice...that loud voice was going to take some getting used to.
''Hey kiddo,'' the red headed woman greeted her. Debbie was sans her work vest, shouldering a handbag and apparently just arriving for her shift at the diner. The entrance only being a few yards away from where they both stood.
''Oh hey,'' Santana said, halting her movements.
''Come back for another Pink Plate Special?''
''No. I was actually just out for a run.''
''Why don't you come in? My shift's starts in five, you can be my first customer.''
Santana opened her mouth, about to launch into an excuse as to why she had to be going but before she could Debbie shushed her and told her to hustle her tush into the diner because she had a lemon square with her name on it. It was an offer she found hard to resist. Those fucking lemon squares were legit in the running to replace breadsticks as Santana's favorite snack. Damn their deliciousness.
''So where's Ms. Sunshine today?'' Debbie asked once they were inside and she had settled behind the counter to serve Santana, who had taken a seat atop a stool.
''She had a family thing,'' Santana answered, her eyes filled with a weird kind of food-lust as she stared down at the yellow spongy cakey treat before devouring it in a few short bites. ''She, Justin and her aunt were going to brunch and then like a butterfly garden.''
''You didn't want to tag along then?''
''Do I look like the kind of girl who hangs out at butterfly gardens?''
Debbie raised a shoulder, silently conceding that no she did not. ''Well, is there anything else I can get for you? By the way you went at that lemon bar it's obvious you haven't eaten today. You shouldn't be jogging, frankly, you should put a little meat on your bones.''
Santana figured she could work it off later and indulge herself for the time being. ''You guys do burgers here?'' she asked, to which Debbie nodded. ''Extra cheese?''
''Done and done.'' Debbie scribbled on her order pad and then tossed it to the cook a few feet away. ''So, has Liberty Avenue grown on you yet?''
''It's...very...well...''
''Gay?''
Santana smirked. ''I was going to say different, but yeah that too. Honestly, I've never seen anything like it before. I mean I went to New York a few months back. All you had to do was stand on a sidewalk for five minutes and all kinds of people from all kinds of places would pass you by...it's a very eclectic place, but Liberty Avenue...''
''It's something else alright.''
''It's weird, ya know, being told that there are places like this - big, open, free, liberated - but seeing them is another thing altogether.''
''Where is it exactly that you come from?''
''Ohio. A dinky cowtown called Lima.''
''Never heard of it.''
''It doesn't really have a lot going for it. Our high school is full of a bunch of mouthbreathers, it's pathetic. The only notable thing it ever had going for it was the Cheerios.''
''The cereal?''
''The national championship winning cheer squad,'' Santana explained.
''Wait,'' Debbie interjected, ''that wouldn't be the cheer team led by that psychopath Sue Sylvester would it?''
''You've heard of her?''
''I'm big into the Home Shopping Network. A couple of years back I remember she had her own segment hawking her own signature line of track suits.''
''Sue Sylvester's Polyester Tracksuits...yeah, all of those got recalled you know? If worn for more than a few hours something in the dye would cause a burning, itching sensation and permanent discoloration of the skin. There was a whole class action lawsuit.''
''She seemed like a nutjob, and you were on her squad?''
''I was her squad,'' Santana said proudly. ''It was kind of a big deal when Britt and I were on the team.''
''You know back in the day I cheered.''
''Hold up, you were a cheerleader?'' Santana snickered. ''Like no lie?''
''What's so hard to believe about that?''
''Nothing, nothing.''
''Damn right nothing. I'm pretty sure I still have my pom poms in a closet somewhere,'' the older woman thought aloud to herself. ''Once upon a time I was young little thing too.''
''What the hell happened?''
With a grin Debbie threw a packet of ketchup at Santana who successfully blocked it. ''I got knocked up is what happened. Being a single parent makes you grow up fast, I've got the wrinkles to prove it. Still, I learned a lot from my cheer days; when everything appears bleak and it seems all hope is lost, just keep standing up, keep making noise, keep marching on...and don't ever eat a burrito before attempting a backflip.''
Santana laughed, genuinely amused by Debbie. Sure, the waitress could be a little gruff if provoked, but she was always wearing that smile and was never not loud, but she could definitely see the lady as a cheerleader back in the day.
''I was never into the serious, competition side though,'' Debbie said, ''for me it was about fun.''
''The Cheerios existed for competition. I kind of looked at it as more of a sport than anything else.''
''So what do you like to do for fun?''
''I enjoy general mayhem and chaos, occasional theft and damage to property. You know, normal teenage girl stuff,'' Santana said in a deadpan manner, which earned her an ear-piercing cackle from a tickled Debbie.
X
Brittany was excited to visit the Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Gardens.
Lima didn't have anything like these gardens, which were beautiful and expansive. It's main feature being a gorgeous thirteen room Victorian glasshouse. Jennifer seemed to know plenty about the flowers and plant life surrounding them, extolling the beauty and rarity of some of the flowers that they happened past. Brittany was absolutely enchanted by the place. So taken and so excited to study and appreciate the delicate plant life before her that she barely used her professional quality camera which hung around her neck completely neglected.
They parted briefly when Justin decided to take a moment to sit on a bench and draw on his sketchpad he'd brought along. Brittany and Jennifer, meanwhile, decided to explore the butterfly garden together.
''Oh my god,'' Brittany said, stepping inside the room, captivated by brightly colored winged insects fluttering about.
''Have you ever seen anything as breathtaking as this? They're so lovely,'' Jennifer said in admiration as she tilted her head skyward.
They slowly walked further into the room, following a paved pathway as butterflies danced in the air around them. Brittany was so moved by the tiny, fragile flying creatures. After walking for a few minutes they took a seat on a provided bench and watched a handful of butterflies rest peacefully atop of flowers.
''I used to think they were fairies when I was a kid,'' Brittany admitted when one bright blue one fluttered near them and landed on the back of Brittany's right hand and decided to rest there, ''and that if I could catch one I could make it my friend. I thought they were magic or something. I used to chase after them all the time. I never caught any like that though. Being a clumsy, overly excited kid I would run and jump and flail trying to catch one of these guys...but you can't really chase after them. They're delicate and beautiful and complex, but they'll flutter away at the slightest jerky movements. It took me awhile to figure out that you kind of have to wait for them to come to you.''
''Must have taken a lot of patience.''
''But it's worth it. I mean, they're pretty at a distance, but when you see them, really see them up close, for everything they are...it's amazing. They're amazing.''
Jennifer beamed at her until their moment was interrupted by the sound of Brittany's phone giving her a text message alert.
''Oh, do you mind?'' she carefully reached over and brought her aunt's hand near hers so that they rested side by side. Together they watched the blue butterfly move onto Jennifer so Brittany could check her phone. ''Thanks.''
It only took a few seconds to type out a reply, but it was enough time for her aunt to pick up on the sudden giddy grin she was now sporting.
''Someone special?'' Jennifer asked, raising a manicured eyebrow.
''Hm?'' Brittany tucked her cell away.
''I've raised two teenagers - I know that dreamy far away look. You must spill, young lady. Who's the boy or girl who has you looking all adorably lovesick?''
Brittany bit her lip. ''Someone. A girl.''
''Ooo, how long have you been together?''
''It's not like official-official. Yet anyway. We're taking it slow but there's someone and she's pretty much the most amazing girl on the planet.''
''Is she now?''
''And beautiful,'' Brittany sighed. ''Not to mention funny. She's so funny, but like smart-funny, you know?''
''She sounds wonderful.''
''She is. She just sent me a text to say that she misses me and that she hopes I'm having fun.'' Brittany purposely left out the part where Santana ended the text message by asking Brittany what kind of underwear she was wearing.
They went back to chatting for a bit while admiring the numerous butterflies surrounding them. Not too long later Justin came to join them. Brittany stood up from her spot on the bench and offered him her seat, informing them that she was going to make a trip to the ladies room. With a little skip in her step she left mother and son to have a moment to themselves.
''Gosh, I can't believe how grown she is,'' Jennifer said, ''and when I think about how old she is, I think about how old you are and I can't believe how you're both turning out.''
Embarrassed, Justin blushed. ''Mom...''
''When I look at you I still see my beautiful little boy. And now that boy's a handsome, accomplished young man,'' she said with more than just a hint of emotion in her voice. She reached over to sooth the back of her son's head. ''And she's turning out to be such a brave young lady.''
''I don't know how you did it.''
''Did what?''
''A few years ago when I was seventeen I was barely ever home. I was always going out and doing my own thing, constantly leaving you out of the loop. I gave you so much crap early on for just wanting to be involved...and now? Getting to spend this time with Britt and being the one responsible for her while she's here, it's like I have to fight myself not to constantly hover over her and check in on her every five minutes,'' he laughed at himself, ''I know she's capable of taking care of herself. She's strong, one of the strongest people I know and yet I have this urge to protect her. She's just...''
''So innocent,'' Jennifer offered.
''Yeah. I don't know how you were able to let me go and spread my wings when all you probably wanted to do was protect me.''
''I loved you, that's how I did it. You were innocent too. You still are. I see it in your eyes. She's never going to lose that and neither will you. You know first hand how hard this world can be. There's always going to be hardships in life, some more brutal than others. But if there's anything you taught me it's that there's nothing you can't survive. And just looking at Brittany now...I believe, more than anything that she has that same indestructible light inside of her.''
''She does.''
''Then trust that...it's what I had to do. It wasn't always easy but I'm glad I did. Look out for her, Justin, but don't think you have to protect her from everything in the world because she doesn't need it.''
Justin nodded, accepting her words and hearing the message behind them.
''So, has she told you about her top secret new relationship?'' Jennifer asked giddily, turning the conversation down another course.
''Yes, but I've been sworn to secrecy.''
''Aw,'' Jennifer said. She wasn't trying to be overly nosy or pry, but she was happy to see her niece so obviously in love and couldn't help but be curious about who it was that had stolen the girl's heart. ''Okay, I won't ask anything else, but - is she good to Brittany? Is her girl sweet to her?''
Justin tilted his head in consideration. ''I don't know if you'd call her sweet.''
This alarmed Jennifer, whose eyebrows shot up. ''Why, what's she like then?''
''She's a brutal, ruthless, unapologetic cheerleader.''
The woman heaved an amused sigh. ''It must run in the family, a fondness for bad boys...and girls apparently.''
X
''Hey,'' Brittany said into her phone as she stood in the Conservatory's restroom.
It was a single thankfully where she had a bit of privacy which came in handy when she decided that instead of telling Santana what kind of underwear she was wearing through a text, she'd just show her by sending her a photo. She was standing at the mirror when Santana called.
''You're going to kill me one day,'' Santana said in way of greeting.
''Did you like the pic?''
''I loved it.''
''Maybe you can send me one back?''
''Maybe that can be arranged. In fact I - why are you eating a donut with a fork?''
''Huh?''
Brittany heard a short garbled conversation take place on the other end of the line. She couldn't make out much, except for a male voice saying ''It's a southern thing!''
''What's going on over there?'' she asked, puzzled. ''Is that the tv?''
''Nothing and no,'' Santana returned to their conversation. ''I'm actually at the diner right now.''
Brittany was amused. ''The Liberty Diner? What happened to your scabies scare?''
''I figured I'd risk it. Plus, Debbie has this weird crazy aggressive mama bear maternal thing going on - she's been feeding me free lemon squares. I mean, they're no breadsticks from Breadstix, but. Anyhow that guy Emmett that we met a couple of nights ago?''
''The one who was wearing that fabulous pashmina?''
''Well, he came in too and I'm not even sure how but we ended up having an hour long debate about who holds the title of the world's first true supermodel. It's kind of up in the air between Jean Shrimpton and Twiggy-''
''I say Cindy Crawford!'' shouted yet another voice in the background.
''Who was that?'' Brittany asked.
''Oh, that's just Kiki the waitress formerly Kenny the waiter,'' Santana explained before pulling back from her phone to yell, ''Emmett and I already told you that Cindy Crawford is nothing but baby Gia, Kiki, and doesn't belong on the list of all the true greats,'' to the waitress in question.
''Yeah Kiki,'' from somewhere in the background Emmett tutted, sounding equally outraged as Santana.
Brittany giggled as she listened in to the playful, friendly squabble going on which lasted for a few more moments before Santana came back to their conversation once more. ''Sorry about that.''
''No, don't be. It sounds like you're having fun over there. It's cute.''
''What's cute?
''You're making friends.''
''What? Am not. Don't say that.''
''You are,'' Brittany exclaimed. ''You're having fun and meeting new people and it's so cute.''
''Whatever,'' Santana played it off coolly. ''How's your day been so far? Have you and Justin been riding unicorns and skipping around ponds all afternoon?''
''Unfortunately no. Unicorns - much like birds - always fly north for summer. We've been walking the city's botanical gardens though. It's so beautiful here, San. I have to take some photos, but we're enjoying ourselves and it's nice to see my aunt Jen again too.''
''Sounds like fun, Britt.''
Brittany leaned forward to inspect her eye makeup in the mirror, ''but as much as I've enjoyed today I was thinking tonight it could just be a me and you night. There's a Thai restaurant that Justin told me was really good that I want us to try.''
''That sounds cool, but I kind of got us an invite to a home cooked meal tonight.''
''You did?''
''Debbie insisted, and by insisted what I really mean is threaten me with bodily harm. She heard me talking about Breadstix earlier and then told me that the stuff was total garbage, which like please, and that I've yet to actually try real, authentic Italian food and she has this whole proud Italian thing going on, I don't know. She invited us both over for dinner at her house.''
''Really?'' Brittany squeaked, surprised Santana wasn't putting up a fight and sounded completely willing to go.
''Yeah. I mean, if you want to that is. If not I can totally get us out of it by claiming to have a miscarriage or something.''
''Do not do that.''
''You're right, I don't have my purse with me and it's just not as effective without me spilling my bottle of red nail polish all over myself to really sell it.''
Pleased to know Santana was actually enjoying and interacting with others Brittany eagerly agreed. ''No, a home cooked meal would be amazing. I say we go.''
''Yeah?''
''Of course.''
''Tonight then, me, you and the Novotny household. Listen, Britt I better go. Kiki is trying to make a case for Janice Dickenson in our supermodel debate and I won't stand for it. I swear this chick,'' Santana grumbled lightheartedly.
''Okay. Have fun with your new friends,'' Brittany sang.
''Shut up, they are not.''
They exchanged goodbyes and Brittany smiled down at her phone as she ended the call. This was an unexpected development but a completely welcome one.
This was one of the things she was maybe hoping for. For Santana to see that the world was full of all kinds of different people, to engage with them and maybe just maybe it would be a tiny step towards allowing herself to feel at home in her own skin.
She returned to Justin and Jennifer and the three of them walked through the remaining plant houses. There was more chatter, laughs and reminiscing throughout the next few hours until they decided to call it a day. She met with Santana and together they set out to find a convenience store in order to find a hostess gift for Debbie.
Together they were pushing a shopping cart down an aisle of one of Pittsburgh's biggest chain stores, the Big Q, as Santana quietly fretted about what they should bring to the hostess.
As they strolled they also made a grab for a few random essentials for themselves. Santana needed contact solution and hand lotion. Brittany needed a new toothbrush and lip balm. What should have been a simple in and out trip, turned into a half hour of aimlessly wandering through aisles, poking at things, making each other laugh and coming across random but awesome finds that inevitably found their way into their cart.
How could they not buy that package of refrigerator magnets that were made to resemble cat butts? How could they pass up a Gumby keychain? Who wouldn't buy a set of two dryer balls in the shape of tiny hedgehogs? Brittany had only stopped playing with the hedgehogs (she had been making them kiss) when she became preoccupied with a magazine where an article purported to list the best ways in which to keep one's partner interested in bed.
She wasn't impressed by the tips as she and Santana had already done the vast majority of them together. ''We've done that, we've done that, we've done that, done it, done it, done it, done it upside down, did that one upside down and in a car, did that one and we both had limps the next day to prove it...''
''Maybe we should bring like a dessert or something?'' Santana suggested as a hostess gift. Brittany could tell Santana was pretending to remain cool and collected but was in reality a little anxious about the evening ahead. ''It looks like they have a bakery here. Or maybe some kind of cheesy-crackery platter?''
''These sex tips are so...sad,'' Brittany said as she flicked through a magazine. ''I mean this magazine is trying to convince its readers that these 'tricks' are really edgy or juicy or whatever, but honestly we do most of these in our sleep. Like literally. I've totally woken up to you doing this one to me in my sleep.'' The blonde briefly floated the magazine in front of Santana's face before pulling it back to herself. ''And granted, that was amazing, but if you ask me that's something every couple should be doing all the time. Surprising each other, keeping the other on their toes. With sex, yeah, but also just in general too, you know? If you really care about someone that's just like, a given. I don't understand why some people need a dumb magazine to tell them what they should already want to do. These kinds of sex tips thingys just make me sad for other people. You shouldn't need instructions on how to be close to someone, right. Although I will say the perfume samples in this magazine? Top notch. Smell this - Clinique Happy.''
Brittany proceeded to rub the bit of scented paper on her neck and wrist; the paper making funny little crinkly noises as she did so.
Santana stared at her with a tiny half smirk. ''You are just...''
''Hm?''
''Off the charts adorable. You know that?''
''I've been told once or twice,'' Brittany said with a wink and then tossed the magazine in their cart. ''But for real, whatever we bring will be fine. All your ideas are great.''
''Yeah, I guess.''
''Ooo, my mom's coworker came over for dinner once and brought her some high end gourmet olive oil that she totally loved, I mean, until me and you stole it and started using it for lube,'' Brittany recalled. ''God, those sheets were ruuuu-ined.''
''That's a genius idea.''
Brittany did a little hop in place before they turned around and began making their way towards the food and produce section of the store. ''I'm kind of surprised you're game for this. Usually you're all distant and growly with new people.''
Santana shrugged. ''Deb's...kind of cool. At first yeah, I found her annoying as hell but once you get used to the laugh and the hair and the fact that she's totally nuts, she's kind of a badass which is hard to pull off in that lame ass work vest with the buttons and all but somehow she does it. And that guy Emmett? He like runs his own event planning business, he met Cyndi Lauper once and he totally catered an intervention for the Lohan family too.''
''The Lohan family? Gross. But Cyndi Lauper? No way.''
''Way,'' Santana confirmed.
They came to stop at a rack of high priced olive oil, or high price for The Big Q anyway where they both began to inspect bottles, trying to decide which one to gift.
''I'm really glad though,'' Brittany began.
''Hm?''
''That you're letting people in, even if it's just in baby steps. Justin...Debbie...Emmett...Brian.''
Santana made a funny, unpleasant scrunchy little face. ''Brian?''
''What?'' Brittany asked. ''You two seemed to be getting along a couple of nights ago at Woody's. You played pool. I saw you guys even laugh together a few times.''
''Yeah, we were making fun of the fact that Ted looked like he was sporting mom jeans.''
''So, why the face? You don't like him?''
''It's not that I don't like him. It's that whenever I'm around him I get that weird shivery feeling like someone just stepped over my grave and then - just for fun - decided to whizz all over it too. It's spooky.''
''Maybe if you got to know him better it wouldn't be.''
''Why would I want to do that?''
''Why not? He's an important guy in New York. I would've thought you'd want to have a conversation or two with him so that after graduation you'd have a way into the whole network over there,'' Brittany said, coming across a bottle she thought looked decent and handing it over for Santana to inspect the label herself. ''That and because he's like...my family.''
''He's your family? Come on. You've said like three words to him.''
''True, but that's not the point. He's not just some guy. He's the love of Justin's life. I don't know him very well-''
''At all.'' Santana handed her back the bottle.
''-but because of Justin I see him as a part of my family now. It's kind of the way I hope Justin sees you,'' Brittany admitted bashfully as she took hold of the bottle of olive oil and placed it into their cart. ''If you were in trouble or hurt I'd want Justin to be there for you if I wasn't around. Maybe it'll never happen, but if Brian ever needed help in some way and Justin couldn't be there...I'd do what needed to be done, because I love Justin.''
''I care about Justin,'' Santana said without hesitance. ''But his boyfriend's a narcissistic jerk.''
''Yeah, he is, '' Brittany affirmed. ''I'm not arguing that.''
''And he still insists that he's hotter than me, which, like, what the fuck ever,'' Santana huffed dismissively.
''Okay, yeah, I'm with you there because you are the hottest.''
''Thank you.''
''But I've seen you and Brian and I think you both like each other more than you're letting on, you two just have a really messed up way of showing it. I'm not saying you guys are besties, I'm saying it's just nice to see you talking to other people in a real way.''
Santana exhaled deeply as she stared at Brittany. Her brown eyes giving in.''He's okay I guess, and he's sorta-kinda funny. Not as funny as me, but come on who is?''
''Nobody, duh. Oooo, we should go. We have to drop this stuff at the loft before we head over to Debbie's,'' Brittany motioned down, indicating their cart full of items.
''Wait, why'd you get two bottles of olive oil?''
''One's for Debbie and I thought we could use the other one for...things.''
''Genius.''
X
Later that night gifts in hand they made their way to the Novotny home. Emmett had been impressed when Santana produced the bottle of olive oil and held it out to him in offering, Debbie, on the other hand, seemed more interested and excited over the cat butt magnets that Brittany gifted along with it.
They thanked them both for the thoughtful gifts and offered them appetizers and after some conversation and a bit of moving around they were soon seated at the Novotny's dated, kitschy kitchen table enjoying home cooked lasagna and garlic bread along with Debbie, her common law husband Carl and Emmett, who lived there as well.
Brittany was in the middle of a story. ''And then I puked on our glee club captain, Rachel Berry, and then Santana puked on stage too, and then after several minutes where absolutely no one moved our friend Quinn went to check on her and slipped on puke and for a second I thought her landing in puke would make her puke and that we'd started some never ending puke cycle at the assembly but it didn't happen. As gross as it was, it was also kind of rock and roll. I think Ke$ha would've been proud.''
For the past half hour she had been recounting her and Santana's many misadventures and stunts. Her latest anecdote being their drunk adventures during Alcohol Awareness week.
Carl looked horrified. Emmett looked amused. Debbie simply asked if they wanted seconds.
''No thanks,'' Santana said.
''You'll have more and you'll like it,'' Debbie urged in her motherly way and heaped another serving onto both Brittany and Santana's plates before walking to the sink to set something down within it.
Carl, a hefty, bald but pleasant looking man, leaned over towards the girls with a smile and whispered, ''she must really like you gals, she only tries to fatten up people she cares about.''
''It's true,'' Emmett added, ''I've gained five pounds since moving in.''
The girls smiled, thankful for the strange act of kindness Debbie was apparently bestowing upon them. They finished their plates off (or rather Carl finished their plates off when Debbie turned away again briefly and he silently urged the girls to dump the rest of their food onto his plate as he was happy to continue chowing down in order to spare them from being stuffed to the gills) and everyone then moved on to chocolate cake for dessert.
''Well, how does my authentic Italian cuisine stack up to your precious Breadstix?'' Debbie asked Santana.
''Hard to say after inhaling that many carbs.'' For effect Santana slouched slightly in her seat and made to exaggerate her stomach as if she had gained weight during the course of the meal.
''Aw, you have a little food baby,'' Brittany laughed and went to pat her imaginary belly. ''You should totally have it and we can raise it together. I'll buy it really cute outfits and you can sing to it at night and when it's finally old enough we'll sit it down and explain that it's bio-father is chicken tortellini.''
''You'd do that? Raise the bastard child that came out of my one night of passion with pasta?''
''Absolutely.''
There was something about Brittany's silly declaration that made Santana smile. She couldn't help but feel a rush of warmth on her face when she turned towards the others and noticed three grinning mugs staring at them both like they were the most darling little things.
''So Ms. Sunshine,'' Debbie said, cutting a sliver of cake onto her fork, ''did you know that once upon a time Justin lived here with me?''
Brittany nodded eagerly. ''I remember there was a lot of stuff going on in his family back then and you offered him a safe place to call home for a little while.''
''He used to stay in what's now Emmett's bedroom,'' Debbie continued.
''There's even a giant pile of his old artwork still up in the closet space,'' Carl said and then pointed at Emmett with his fork. ''Right Em?''
Brittany raised her eyebrows. ''Really?''
''Yeah,'' Emmett answered. ''It's all in a box, right beside my old neon Fetch Dickson sign?''
''Your what sign?'' Santana wrinkled her nose, not quite following.
''Um, nothing,'' Emmett laughed nervously and a blush ran up his neck.
''If it's okay,'' Brittany spoke up, ''I'd love to get a chance to look through that box.''
''I don't see why not,'' Debbie said automatically. ''I mean if it's okay with Em since it's his room now.''
''Oh, be my guest,'' Emmett said to the girls with a nonchalant flap of his hand.
Brittany's eyes lit up and she looked to Santana then Debbie, who simply said ''you girls go on, don't worry about us, me and Carl are about to fall into a food coma for an hour or so. We won't be good for conversation for a little while. Have fun with Em.''
The girls stood along with the tall man and the three of them began clearing everyone's plates and empty milk glasses. Well, it was mostly Brittany and Emmett that is until Brittany asked, ''San, could you grab something for me?''
''I can grab a lot of things for you,'' Santana said quietly, although not quietly enough as Debbie apparently caught it and sent an amused and intrigued look to Emmett who simply raised his eyebrows and led the girls out of the room.
He escorted them to the upper level of the house into his room where he then opened his closet door and allowed Brittany to sift through. Locating Justin's old sketchbooks was going to be a task as the space was filled to the brim with clothing but Brittany went to work mining the closet nevertheless. As she busied herself with her search Emmett and Santana occupied themselves on the other side of the room. It seemed Emmett had a date the next evening and wanted a second opinion on his choice of outfit.
''So, sleeveless turtleneck or baby blue button up dress shirt?'' Emmett asked, holding up each article of clothing to his body.
Santana was sitting comfortably on his bed with one of his fashion magazines in hand. ''On one hand the baby blue would bring out your eyes, on the other hand the sleeveless will show off your biceps. Hard call.''
''Have we made a decision between jeans or leather pants yet? I think once we figure out the pants situation it'll be easier to build the rest of the outfit from there.''
''Oh, leather pants,'' Santana said, ''Not every guy can pull those off, you can so rock them.''
''You're so right.''
''OH MY GOD,'' Brittany said, emerging from the closet with a box marked 'Emmett - Private'. ''Look what I found!''
''Hey,'' Emmett exclaimed, quickly taking it from her before she could thoroughly inspect it's contents. ''You're both much too young to know what any of that stuff is.''
Brittany produced a set of handcuffs which she had lifted from his private box before it was taken away from her. She twirled it around her finger. ''I'm keeping these.''
Brittany then walked back into the depths of the bedroom closet once more to continue her search.
''Is she always so...precocious?'' he asked Santana.
''She's a handful.''
He went to his bed and stared down at several other articles of clothing on hangers he had laid out to consider. ''How long have you guys been friends?''
''A few years, of course with Britt it kinda seems like a lifetime. Some days I can barely remember what life was like before her.'' Santana went to stand at a vanity where she inspected her reflection and then turned her attention to a make up box tucked nearby which she opened. Inside were brushes and pencils and powders, makeup. She smiled down at the collection. ''Everything before her was just empty and grey and...she changed it all.''
Emmett looked at her with a goofy expression, like he was touched by her admission.
''So,'' she cleared her throat and shook her head, ''Ted is your best friend then? How in the world did that happen?''
''Everyone likes to give Teddy a hard time, especially Brian, but he's a great person. Maybe not the most exciting but...we can't all have adorable blondes BFFs like some people. Everyone has layers….like you for instance. I spent most of the afternoon with you. I could tell right away that you're the kind of girl who deals in brutal honesty and doesn't coddle or humor. When a customer tried to give Kiki crap and jip her on her tip, you told him to go fuck off before Debbie could do the job. You have this fierce quality about you...and yet when she's in the room,'' he motioned over to the closet which Brittany occupied ''...your eyes go soft.''
''And?''
''And it's beautiful.'' Emmett just smiled on and looked back at his clothing out on display. ''Don't judge a book by it's cover. Ted's cover might be really boring but that's not all there is to him, or me, or any of us, you included. Anyhow...I don't think any of these will work.''
Santana walked over to him and rummaged through the pile of clothes before finding a charcoal dress shirt which she shoved into his arms. He took it and pulled it on, buttoning it over his plain t shirt and then once finished standing in silence to allow her to critique.
''This one,'' she said, gently pushing him towards the tall mirror in the corner of his bedroom. ''Something about the color works with your eyes, plus it totally shows off your pecs but not in an overly douchey way. You look hot...and your guy will totally dig.''
Emmett admired himself in the mirror and nodded his thanks. Behind them Brittany emerged from the closet again. Over her clothes she had donned a geisha-like robe, a hot pink feather boa and a goofy furry trapper hat, all of which of course were from Emmett's expansive wardrobe.
''This closet is like miles long. Pretty sure it goes on forever,'' she said, chest heaving as if in exhaustion.
''I think you'll find what you're looking for about three feet in, just take a left when you get to the Bette Midler shrine.''
''Gotcha.'' Brittany said, taking in his directions. She then closed her eyes, took a deep breath and then as if she were marching into battle she declared in a dead serious deadpan manner, ''I'm going back in.''
She disappeared through the doorway once again leaving Santana and Emmett to smile in her general direction. Eventually after Brittany found and took possession of an old, large book of drawings once belonging to Justin and Santana and Emmett constructed the perfect outfit for his date they all went back downstairs to Debbie and Carl who were cuddled and snoring open mouthed in front of the tv, completely and utterly dead to the world. They whispered their thanks for dinner and Emmett promised to relay the message to them as he stood on the sidewalk and watched them slide into a cab which departed the scene.
As they were driven and after several moments of silence Brittany slide one of her arms through Santana's and leaned into her in order to use her shoulder as a pillow.
''Tonight was nice,'' Brittany said through a yawn.
''The food was good-''
''It was better than Breadstix.''
''That's debatable, I didn't really get to enjoy it fully because Debbie's collection of clown figurines creeped me the hell out all during dinner.''
''Totes, but I'm glad we did it.''
Santana looked down at her lap and at the pale hand curled against her own. She stroked the long, delicate fingers, marveling at the softness of her skin. It was just a hand really, just fingers and a palm and lines, but there was something about all of it together, about all of it being Brittany's that made Santana think it was the most beautiful hand in the world. The blonde made a cute little drowsy sigh and in that second Santana became certain the girl at her side was the most precious thing to ever exist. ''I'm glad we did too, Britt.''
''Mmmm.''
Santana smiled in the darkness. ''And I've been thinking a lot about things...about us...and...and I want to try. I want to try more than anything with you...here. I don't know if it'll work and there's a five hundred percent chance that all of this will somehow backfire on me but I want it. I want you. I want us together in a real way, out in the open...if you still want me. I'm just so fucking tired of being scared. I can't do it anymore. I don't want to do it anymore. You deserve better than that...I deserve better than that. I've never let anything stand in the way of what I want and this, this isn't going to be the thing that changes that. I want to be with you, Britt, and I've never meant anything more…...Britt?''
Santana tilted her head a bit to look at Brittany's face on her shoulder and found the girl peacefully sleeping, still holding onto Santana's arm, cuddling it as if it were a teddy bear. Brittany just mumbled and shifted closer into her side and with her free hand Santana reached out to tuck a strand of blonde hair back. She kissed the top of her head for a long moment, closing her eyes and breathing in the scent of the other girl.
That was a bust then. Even though Brittany didn't hear it, Santana was glad she found it in her to actually say the words, no matter how awkward or stilted they had been. It was a step in the direction. But it was probably for the best that it went unheard, it wasn't exactly the most thought out outpouring of love. Maybe she'd try this again, but with a little more...romance. Or something.
This wasn't backpedaling or denial, though, no, this was about her wanting to do this the right way, the perfect way. For Brittany. She wanted to give her more than rushed words in the back of a random ass cab. She was going to think on this because it had to mean something, it had to be significant to them.
It had to be ridiculously romantic.
''We're two blocks from your address,'' the driver quietly announced to her.
''Tell you what,'' Santana whispered as she stared at the sleeping blonde, ''let's go around the neighborhood two or three more times. Could you do that?''
''You want me to go in circles?''
''Yeah.''
The cabbie caught her eyes in the rear view mirror and after noting the dozing girl on her shoulder he simply nodded in understanding and kept his foot on the pedal and turned them around for another go around Liberty Avenue.
And with Brittany comfortably snuggled into her side Santana watched, watched the avenue and the lights and the joy on people's faces, again and again as they circled the neighborhood several times over for the next half hour. Dark streets illuminated with energy and excitement.
These streets called out to her. With the windows rolled up all sound and music from outside was slightly muted and dull, but it pulsed. Occasionally when the cab would stop at a light or slow to make a turn she felt it.
Tiny vibrations, the pulse of the city.
And what it spoke to her wasn't loud or overwhelming or threatening, it was faint and comforting, like a nocturne slowly invading her soul and granting her a little peace. In this place, on these streets, she thought, no matter who you were or what you were, no one was lost.
And with that thought her heart found a sudden calm.
X
A/N: so, this was a rather sleepy chapter, not a lot occurred, but I just wanted some quiet moments to show how Santana was settling in and getting more comfortable and feeling a slow sense of peace with herself on Liberty Avenue where there is no judgement or shame. The next few chapters, there's going to be a huge turning point for her...
I also tossed in some family interaction with Britt. One of my favorite things about QaF was Justin's relationship with his mother Jennifer, so for myself I really wanted to use her at least once in this story because it made my heart happy.
Also I've only been using Brian sporadically for the past few chapters and that's for a reason. That's because unlike Justin and Brittany, Brian and Santana are prickly people and that friendship isn't born over night. The Brian-Santana conversations I have lined up are some of my favorite things, but to be true to the characters I couldn't rush into those scenes just yet but they are coming. :D (Seriously, there's this scene in a future chapter where they're hanging out together, smoking a joint and playfully bitching at each other about how to best roll it and hilarity ensues).
So I have two more chapters written out, the majority of which was written months ago, but I might be slow to post for awhile because I'd like to have several finished ahead of time. I wrote about ten new pages yesterday so we'll see if I can keep that up.
I'm getting crazy hits so I'm glad this story is reaching people. I know it's bad form, so I apologize, but I would really love to hear from you guys. Unlike Britt I don't bite :P I got a couple of PMs and a super kind guest review, thank you for those, lovelies. And if you're too shy to review that's cool too, no pressure. I plan to finish this story no matter what, it just might take me a tiny bit longer without feedback. I have weird anxiety issues so I like have to re-read each chapter like twenty times before posting because I'm always so nervous. But anyways, if you feel like it holler at me. :)
Next chapter: Michael's comic book store, Fondue For Two, Santana meets some flirty gym bunnies and Brittana shower sex.