A/N: I'm not dead! And I didn't drop the story either. Sorry if I've been gone too long, I've kind of been neglecting many things. And just so you know, eating a person alive is not good for your body and also illegal in many countries… just saying…

Anyways here's a quick recap in case you forgot where we're standing in this story…

Previously:

Mikan is taken by force to meet with Natsume's father, Satoshi. He tries to convince her to give up on Natsume and leave well enough alone. Seeing how she doesn't seem too eager to comply, Satoshi develops a plan to get rid of her.

After learning that she doesn't know much about her real parents at all, he tells her about how her mother Yuuka is still alive although locked up in an asylum after attempting to commit suicide. He offers to find Mikan's mother on the condition that she promises to disappear from Natsume's life forever.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice.

Chapter 21 Uncovering the Truth

Mikan stares listlessly at the ceiling of her room. "Disappear from Natsume's life forever." She keeps remembering those words.

What was she supposed to do? What would Natsume say if she told him about this? Maybe she shouldn't tell him at all. Maybe she really should just disappear… big difference that would make.

The other problem was should she really trust this man? Hyuuga Satoshi was certainly not a man worthy of anyone's trust. There had to be a way to find out if he was lying or not, but the only other people in this world who could possibly know the truth were her grandfather and-

"-Sakura Masao" she mutters under her breath.

That was it! If Azumi Yuuka was really alive then of course he should know. He was practically obsessed over her. If she could find out the truth she could decide what to do and then-.

-Then what?

If it turned out that her mother was in fact alive, what would she do? Give up Natsume and go find her with Satoshi's help? Maybe she could find her on her own or ask Natsume for help. In any case she had to tell him what was going on. She felt it was unfair of her to hide this from him.

'You have to fool your allies before you can fool you enemies… Besides I knew you'd try to stop me if I told you.' She clearly remembered how desperate she had felt before he had said those words. She didn't want to make him go through the same.

'We'll figure out a way together' she convinces herself. 'It'll be fine'

Suddenly she hears a knock at the door and perks up. "Come in" she says.

Slowly the door opens and Natsume walks cautiously into the room as if he felt it was wrong for him to be there. "Hey" he says venturing in a little further.

Mikan stares at him debating whether to flat out tell him about the deal with his father or opt for small talk for a while.

"Where did you disappear to today? Everyone was worried" he says.

"Nowhere, I just-." Mikan sighs profusely. "Actually" she pauses to think of the right choice of words. "I met with your father."

Natsume's eyes widen. "What do you mean 'met'? You went to see him!?" he breathes deeply to keep calm.

"No!" she defends "I was knocked out and when I came to I was in his office."

Mikan slowly explains the whole situation to him word by word, threat by threat.

"He told me to think about it overnight and also not to say a word to you…" she looks at him desperately trying to find some sort of comfort "but I didn't know what else to do."

"Do you think he's telling the truth?"

"I- I don't know" she admits helplessly hiding her face behind the palms of her hands.

"Well there are two ways to find out. Either asking your stepfather" he pauses and smirks "or my personal favorite…"

Mikan stares at his smug grin puzzled.

"James Bond style"

"We're so gonna get caught for this."

"We will if you don't keep quiet."

"It's not like he would actually have any kind of evidence in here"

"You can't know that." Natsume whispers while slowly peeping through the keyhole to see if no one is around.

"It was over 15 years ago."

"Yes, and he is supposedly obsessed with this woman." He turns the doorknob and quietly opens to peer inside. "Sure this is it?"

"No. I haven't been here in years; I don't remember where his study is."

"Some help you are." He mumbles.

"Well excuse me for-!"

"SHH! Keep it down." He quickly grabs her hand and drags her into the room closing the door behind them. "If we get caught then it's game over."

"Fine, sorry. Jeez, you really should cut down on those video games…"

"Okay, we are looking for a safe or a hidden compartment or anything that looks suspicious."

"Right" She says rolling her eyes as they both set to work.

After a considerable amount of rummaging through drawers, searching behind portraits and paintings, pulling books and looking for hidden switches Mikan begins to doubt there really is anything to find.

"This is useless" she says putting back yet another book in its place.

"No it's not. Bad guys always keep incriminating evidence, it's what they do." Natsume explains with an air of greatness about him while gently knocking on the walls to find a hollow spot.

"This is not a crappy Hollywood action movie!"

"You are right. This is so much better than that." He kneels down moves the rug and looks at the floor interestedly "You just have to know where to look."

Mikan can practically hear the victorious grin in his voice as she kneels down beside him to see what he found. "A trap door, really? That's way too obvious to be true."

"Indeed… then again the most obvious answer is usually the correct one." Natsume says in high tones.

"Stop playing famous detective and open it already." She orders impatient.

"Fine…" he carefully grabs one of the sides and slowly pries it open while mumbling "Girls always have to take the fun away from everything..."

Mikan gasps when she sees what's hidden behind the door.

"This is so predictable it's almost boring…" he comments.

"I told you to stop playing famous detective, this is serious!" she sticks her hands into the empty hole on the ground and feels around.

Natsume sighs "I was at least expecting some sort of challenge that's all..."

"You didn't find anything so don't brag like you did" she stands up "Let's go before someone finds us."

"It's not so much to ask is it?" he stands up and walks to the desk rummaging through the drawers "I mean maybe not a 'Carmen San Diego' type of challenge but…"

"Kazume what are you doing? We already looked there, let's go."

"…at least 'Blue's Clues' would have been - Aha!" Taking out a cutter from the drawer he proceeds to kneel in front of the open trap door.

"You are not even listening are you?" Mikan peeps over his shoulder to see what he is up to "What are you doing?"

"Elementary, my dear Watson" He smirks triumphantly slipping back into famous detective character "The moment I set eye on this trap door I deducted that-."

"Cut it out." She deadpans.

Natsume huffs and slides the razor down the side of the hole. With one swift movement he lifts what seemed to be the bottom of the hole revealing it to be a simple wooden plank placed conveniently tomake it look like it was empty.

"There" he puts the cutter back in the drawer and stares at the gaping Mikan with a face normal people save only for extremely annoying old relatives who do not seem to understand the words 'I'm 18… not 8 grandma…'

"Ha- how did you-?" Mikan peers into the hole and finds herself facing a safe the size of a pizza box. "Great, now what?" She looks expectantly at Natsume who simply shrugs "We need the password, any brilliant ideas?"

Natsume once again shrugs in response and props himself on the ground next to the safe looking like a child who has just been caught trying to steal the cookies before dinner and was scolded by his mother.

She looks at him and sighs in defeat "Fine I'll let you play detective all you want…"

His face brightens up and the smirk finds its way back to his lips. "Well, normally people use birthdays or important dates to remember this sort of thing."

"Hmm his birthday… I think it's February 23rd"

"What year?"

"I don't know… 1960-ish, what does it matter?"

"Usually this type of safe has 6 digit passwords" he presses the keys from 1 to 6 to demonstrate. "Day, month and year…" he presses the Enter key to clear the previous input and suddenly looks up at Mikan after hearing a clicking sound. "I did that totally on purpose."

"You can't be serious" she grabs the small handle and turns it as if fearing it might detonate. "What kind of moron sets the password to be 123456?" she says opening the safe.

"The most obvious answer is usually the correct one and the last one anyone will try. Besides it's the default combination."

Once the safe is finally open Mikan takes a box labeled 'YIaAY' from inside it. "Let's take this and get out of here before someone finds us…"

"Hmm… This is interesting; it seems that even though he was technically a criminal he had popular support because the money was sent to charity or people in need…" Natsume comments as he flicks through the pages of a scrapbook of old newspapers.

"YIaAY…" Mikan ponders aloud "AY, Azumi Yuuka" she mutters "YI…"

"Yukihira Izumi" Natsume says reading another article under the headline 'Infamous YIaAY death-sentenced by the police' "The bank hacker was shot to death by a police officer who claims he saw the suspect holding a gun." He reads out loud.

Turning the page he begins reading the middle of an article"It is presumed that Azumi Yuuka shot herself. The police are still undergoing more thorough investigation." He reads.

He keeps flicking through the pages and stops once in a while to read. "Well, we went through all that trouble for nothing." He says "In the end we didn't find anything… I suppose we should put this box back." He sighs and closes the book "Pity about those two though, they seemed pretty cool people."

He starts putting some things back into the box "I wonder why he has a scrapbook of them though. Maybe he killed them and then- Mikan?" he turns to her and immediately shuts his mouth when he sees tears flowing freely from her eyes.

'Crap, I'm such an idiot.' he mentally scolds himself as the dots connect in his mind.

"Yukihira Izumi and Azumi Yuuka are…" she speaks calmly as if her brain had not realized tears were flowing down her face "…were my parents."

Sakura Masao was at the verge of a panic attack. The impossible had happened. His past had been buried up. Someone had invaded the memories he had sealed away long ago. That door was not supposed to be opened by anyone before he was safely away from earthly punishment. He would have enough of that in the underworld; he did not want to add the remaining of his life in jail to it.

He could still clearly recall the exact words he had written on that journal. He could repeat by heart every single word on that notebook.

"If you are reading this then that hopefully means I am no longer in this world. Leaving this journal behind is my only way of making sure that the truth does not disappear forever. The weight of the deaths of those two lies in no one's shoulders but my own. I was too cowardly to voice it, fearing the penalty for my actions; but now, in desperate craving for redemption I write these words to anyone who will read them and make the truth known. I owe her that much.

Sakura Masao"

The confession he had prepared for his deathbed had been found, and now for the first time in years Masao was truly afraid.

"If even one person can remember it, then it is real.

But how do you know it was real if you are the only one who can remember it?

How can you be certain it was not merely a fleeting dream, taunting you, indulging you with a bittersweet taste of accomplishment only to banish as if it had never been there at all? Leaving behind nothing but the faint ghost of a memory that you can never be truly sure should be there to begin with.

How do you continue living when you already know that there is no going back to Eden after tasting the Forbidden Fruit? How do you manage to move on when you already understand there is no taking back what you have done, and you can only wait for the moment in which your sins shall be forgiven?

But how can you ever be forgiven when every time you close your eyes you can see her face? Eyes brilliant, filled with innocent trust. How can you possibly hope for forgiveness when you do not feel worthy of it yourself? When simply imagining her, pure and untainted, fills your soul with self-loathe.

You try to forget. You pretend it never happened. You wish it into becoming a nightmare and convince yourself it never took place. You discard it as a twisted desire that will remain unfulfilled for eternity. If you can erase it, then you can make it disappear forever, you can even rewrite history.

If no one can remember it, then it is not real.

If I cannot remember it, then it is not real."

Natsume slowly reads what is written on the yellowed pages of the diary. He had hidden it from Mikan, he knew it was her right to be the one to read it first, but he did not think she could bear any more.

For now he would let her live with the truth that she had been fed until now. He knew eventually he would have to tell her what the truth behind the truth was, but first he needed to find out what that was.

Some of the things he read about he knew, but most of it he did not. The story was long and complicated. Family ties, friendship, love, hate, money, social status, power… Sadly, some of it he could relate to, and the more he read on the more he realized that, save for some of the details such as genders and blood relations, this might as well be the story of his life all written down for him.

He read about Masao's engagement to Yuuka, about how he loved her, and from Masao's words he could gather it was quite a lot. He read about Izumi, his second cousin, and somehow he knew exactly where this was going. But he was completely shocked as he read the line

"The man behind the strings of the puppet show, the one who played us all without our realizing, the puppeteer, Hyuuga Satoshi, we did nothing but dance on the palm of his hand, and we didn't even know. "

Natsume reread the same line over and over again in astonishment. What the hell did that mean? He kept reading, anxious to understand. The bullying, the threats, the hospital, the elopement, he memorized it all, not wanting to forget a single syllable.

It was at the moment he reached the point when his father found the whereabouts of Yuuka and Izumi and informed Masao about it that he had to stop. He had heard and seen much treacherous things his father had done, but knowing the end of this story he could not help but expect the worst.

Masao's handwriting at this point was shaky and difficult to read, some of the words were smeared under drops of what he could only guess were tears or sweat or both. Somehow he could feel the man's distress as he wrote them; and it was clear by the way he worded each sentence that Satoshi wanted that family dead, and was intending to have Masao do the job.

Soon enough he reaches the end of the tale, his chest felt tight and it was hard to breathe, the weight of the whole thing was far too heavy for him. The phrase "you can't handle the truth" seemed clearer than ever.

"It is the sin I will have to carry with me for the rest of my existence. My only wish after this is all over is that that wretched Hyuuga gets what is coming to him. Watching his remorseless face sickens me. Even in death I shall curse him from hell, may he never rest in peace as I will."

Turning to the last page of the notebook, Natsume notices the last part is written in a different type of ink and apparently much later than the rest of the entries. "I'm sorry" it started; he knew this meant he should stop reading, but he could not help himself from continuing.

"After convincing myself I had forgotten all about the past, you come waltzing into my life like a some sort of sick joke sent from those two to torment me. Your face looks exactly like hers but you have his eyes. Your presence serves only to remind me of my dreadful deeds. Seeing you fills me with rage and hatred I thought I had thrown away years ago, but I cannot act on it. I must not repeat the same mistakes from the past.

Which is why I apologize to you, even if I could not do it whilst alive, know that I truly regret everything I have done to you and your parents.

I know this will not make up for anything or even make my wrong doings right but there is nothing I would want more in this world than to welcome you into my arms and hold you as my true child.

But I am unable to face you, I'm afraid I might do something we shall both regret. This is why I have kept you away from me, in order to protect you. I understand if you do not believe me, for I have done nothing but deceive you

I will not ask for your forgiveness, for even I cannot forgive myself and I will understand your loathing me after finding out what I have done.

Live well my daughter"

The book drops from Natsume's hand as soon as he finishes reading, his mind spinning at thousand miles per minute. Did he hate her? Love her? What the hell did he mean "something we shall both regret"? Did he have thoughts about killing her and he kept her away to prevent himself from doing so? And did that make him a good guy or a bad guy?

'Maybe the world is not as black and white as that.' He thinks while picking up the book and putting it back in the box. 'In any case Mikan has to know about this…'

But first he needed to make sure of a couple of things, and there was only one way to know, so after hiding the box in a safe place, he headed out.

Masao kept pacing around the study, he could not tell Satoshi about this. He would have him killed and the book destroyed if he knew he had written a full confession implying him in it. Had one of the servants taken it? How had they found it? No, it had to be someone who knew exactly what he was looking for, and Masao was the only one who knew about that box. There was no reason for anyone to come looking for it. He would remember having moved it so-.

"It's not here anymore" Natsume's voice cuts his reverie short. "I hid it elsewhere, but I'm not planning to do anything with it… yet."

Masao quickly turns to stare at the boy waiting for him to continue.

"Of course you know who I am and what I'm doing here. My father has been keeping you up to date, yes?"

The older man nods and takes a seat behind his desk motioning the boy to follow.

"I do not intend to blackmail you; I came here looking for answers and nothing more."

"You already have your answers do you not? You have read the notebook, no?"

"Yes, which is why I want answers from you…" Natsume looks at the man noticing the surprise in his expression "My father is unaware of the existence of this little book, even I realized as much, besides I know that even if I asked him he would lie or simply refuse to answer."

Masao nods once again "Indeed that sounds like Satoshi."

"You however do not have that privilege. You are pretty much screwed, so you might as well humor me."

"Fair enough, ask then." Masao replies amusedly.

"Was it you who killed Mikan's parents?"

"Yes"

"Was it you who decided to do it?"

"No"

"Did you really want to kill them?"

"Hmm, why do you keep asking questions you already know the answer to? Or are you simply testing to see whether I'm lying?"

"You didn't answer the question." Natsume states boldly.

"Ah, no sidetracking you then?" Masao chuckles lightly "Indeed you are Satoshi's son…"

Natsume simply stares at the man awaiting his response.

"I did not want to kill her." He finally answers.

"But you wanted to kill him? Wasn't he your cousin, not to mention your best friend?"

"HA!" Masao snorts loudly "Best friend?" he asks sneering "That traitor was no friend of mine."

"So you don't regret having killed him?" Natsume inquires more than a little taken aback.

Masao looks at him with sorrowful yet hateful eyes "How could I regret killing the man who crushed my every happiness in life?"

"Still, he didn't deserve to die!" Natsume retorts getting more and more exasperated by the second. "You mean to say his crime was falling in love?"

"As expected, you are still a child. You understand nothing. Do you really know what kind of man Izumi was? Do you have any idea how many lives were ruined because of him? Do you?"

The young boy did not know what to say and Masao took this as his cue to continue.

"You read the articles didn't you? Izumi was a bank hacker, a thief. He stole money from people. Many enterprises went bankrupt because of his childish ideals and his wrong sense of self-righteousness." Masao takes a black scrapbook from one of the desk drawers and hands it to Natsume.

Flicking through the pages he reads some of the headlines, shocked to see that most of them talked about entrepreneurs who had committed suicide after going bankrupt or thousands of people losing their jobs after their workplaces had shut down because of YIaAY's intervention.

"Not the fairy tale you expected eh? Real life doesn't work like that." Masao takes the book back "Granted, a small handful of people were happy for a while, until the money they got run out. You can give a man fish and he'll eat for a day… and then what?"

Natsume thought about this, he had never considered it this way. But then, Mikan's dad was the bad guy? Or was it his father? Was what Masao had done all that wrong?

"Do I regret what happened that night? Yes, if I could go back I would have done things different, if only for Yuuka. But do I regret Izumi's death? No, not one bit. If anything his death brought a little peace of mind to practically the whole world."

Natsume was stunned beyond words, he could not argue with that. If the police had caught him, he would have probably been sentenced to death or at least life imprisonment. And in any case what he had done was starting to look less and less like the good guy to him by the minute.

"There are no good or bad people you know…" Masao suddenly stands up and stares out the window behind him.

"Right and wrong, like beauty, is in the eyes of the beholder. There are however right reasons or wrong reasons… In my case, much like Satoshi's, the reason was vengeance, nothing more. I'm not saying it was the right reason, but at least we were honest about it.

As for Izumi, his reason was also vengeance, against us, against anyone with the money and power he could never get because of his lineage, but he disguised it as charity… Yuuka was the only one of us who had a right reason, much to my woe, what she did she did for love, and that is as right a reason as it gets."

He turns around and looks at Natsume "Even if everyone else thinks what you are doing is wrong, if you know your reasons are right and your resolve never wavers, someday you might make them realize that maybe you are not the one in the wrong. But if you don't believe it yourself, you can't possibly convince anyone else about it. Izumi of course was never sure about his reasons, which is why no one was certain if they could trust him."

Masao sighs deeply and sits back down "But alas, I don't expect a kid like you to understand… We have digressed enough yes? I take it you have no more questions then?"

Natsume's brain suddenly clicks and he is set back into motion "No! I mean yes, I have more questions." He says "Do you… intend to… harm Mikan?" he asks uncertainly.

Masao's eyes widen at the utter randomness of the question "What? Harm Mikan? Do you mean do I want to kill her? Of course not, but I'm not confident in my self-control, if that's what you mean."

"Is that really why you push her away, to prevent yourself from putting her in danger?"

"Well partly yes. Also, I don't want her to find out about the truth behind her parents deaths. Ever since she came here I was always afraid of what might happen if I allowed her to get close to me and she found out…" The sorrow in Masao's eyes was clear as he talked about Mikan. "I do not wish her to become… like me."

"Don't you think she deserves to know the truth?"

"Do you?" he replies immediately "What do you think will happen to her once she knows? And what do you think that means to you, eh?" he looks right into Natsume's eyes "Are you confident that she won't see her parents murderer's face every time she looks at you in the eyes?"

Natsume's eyes widen, suddenly telling Mikan the truth somehow did not seem like such a great idea.

"That is what I feel like every day kid, even when she doesn't know. Will you be able to handle it I wonder…?"

A/N: I thought that throughout the WHOLE story, Masao got NO character development whatsoever, he barely even got mentioned, so there you have it.

I thought he deserved a little screen time, 'cause he's a poor misunderstood fellow. And actually from the beginning of the whole thing I pictured him like a sort of good/bad guy…

I'll try my best not take so long this time! I deeply apologize for this. Love to all of you who keep reading and I hope I'm not disappointing you guys!